Levi and Jay

~~~~~~~~~~~~Levi's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~~

~FLASHBACK~

"I got beat up again, Konstantinos," I whined and cried next to my brother after school, Clinging to the only person who protected me.

"I told you just speak Greek when it's us two!" My brother scolded. "And stop crying so much! This is why you get bullied! When are you going to toughen up, Nikolaos?"

"But...but I'm not strong like you!" I sobbed. "You even know karate, but my mom won't let me take that class!"

"I'll teach you then! Open your eyes wide and glare at them like a lion!"

"Like this?"

"Wider!" Konstantinos demanded.

"Like this?" I opened my eyes as wide as I could causing my brother to fall over laughing.

"You looked so stupid!" He laughed.

"Kanstantinos!" I whined. I was a weakling nobody liked at school because I was hated by everyone and all I had was my little brother by my side.

We were half brothers, same dad, different mom. Together we all lived in the same house. My mom loved me, my dad was indifferent and Konstantinos's mom hated my existence. Still, outside of the house Kanstantinos and I were best friends.

I knew because I had tried to bring her dinner, and she broke a plate on my head making my head bleed a bit. Her room reeked of alcohol. Then again she was always drunk and smelly.

After about an hour of playing Pokémon cards that Kanstantinos smuggled into the house, we went out separate ways, as was expected of us.

I quickly left her room only to bump into my father. "Nikolaos."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I accidentally...." I trailed off as my father walked right past me. I sighed in relief.

Him being cold wasn't new to me but still left me scared every time it happened. I've seen how he beat up mom when she made mistakes. Surely he would kill me if I messed up too bad.

I could clean myself up! Mommy didn't want to see me like this after school. I wish we could just run away from it all.

I loved my mom more than anything. I always got perfect marks and she always rewarded me with my favorite meal. She wanted me to be just like my dad for some reason, so I really had no choice.

My mom told me I was born to be perfect like him. If I could become perfect like my father my mom would be proud of me and wouldn't abandon me right? Because If I'm like him, I could fulfill the requirements to have my mom love me.

For this I needed to try harder to be perfect like dad.

"Ugh!" Kanstantinos ran into the bathroom where I was patching myself up from the fall. "Nikolaos, my room stinks of vodka! Let me sleep in your room tonight!"

"Ok."

"What happened to your arm?"

"I bumped into dad," I explained. Kanstantinos nodded and didn't ask more, because he knew. I jumped down from the stool and led him to my room. "You can sleep now. I have to self study for a bit."

"Just do it tomorrow!"

"My French tutor is coming so I'll have no time." I sighed. "I shouldn't have played earlier."

"How boring! You keep doing this cuz your mom said so? It's so-"

"No ones forcing me!"

"Why are you trying to be so perfect at everything? To be liked? Or do you want to be an important person?"

"It's because I want to, Kanstantinos!"

"You just do whatever your mom tells you!"

"But if I don't mom won't love me anymore! I want to be comfortable around my mom like you are. So I have to try, even if it means doing something I don't want to do!" I stood firm.

"You don't think she loves you? Ask her for something you want! If she remembers she loves you! My mom always does."

"That's brilliant!"

"Of course, she loves you though. All the adults like you and say you're a genius....but keep it up! As long as the attention is on you and your mom, I can be free to do whatever!"

"Ok." I'll make them both proud of me. Then we can all be free from that scary monster.

~~~~~~~~~~Jay Vanity P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~

~Flashback~

We were always different but I wasn't jealous of Nikolaos, if anything, he was jealous of me! I was free to whatever I wanted, even though we had the same capabilities, while he was always under pressure to do better.

At least I didn't have to deal with that type of energy. And mom didn't pressure me so much to be the best.

"You're so lucky, you're so good at piano and sports. I suck at it!" Nikolaos whined. "Music just isn't my thing. Mom's going to kill me because I'm not advancing in anything."

"Maybe you've hit your peak."

"I can't hit my peak! Mom still expects so much!"

"Who cares! You're better than me at everything else!" I rubbed his head to try to comfort him. It was annoying how much of a crybaby he was. "You can remember something by only seeing it once! That's so cool!"

"But you're stronger."

"That doesn't matter."

"Nikolaos, we should go!" Nikolaos's mother grabbed his arm and started to pull him out of the room against his will.

"Bye, Kanstantinos." Dad waved to me before hurrying the two out the door.

"How could he take them to such a important event? That should be us! That lady's a peasant and that Nikolaos is so timid, he's not all that. Party's are about socializing!" My mom walked in cigarette in hand.

"I wouldn't take you either mom." I said. "Last year you got so drunk and caused a scene. Dad got really embarrassed and even lost support because of it. She's very well spoken and talks more elegant than you. She fits in much better."

"Why can't you be better like Nikolaos?!" My mom spat back. I looked at her shock. Why did I have to be compared to him? Couldn't mom and I just be our own family without them.

"You want me to be like Nikolaos?"

"No one likes a fucking brat that only talks back! If only I had a son that was polite, I could walk with my head held high! But I can't since I'm stuck with you! A second place holder!" Mom spat at me. "I gave birth so someone who can't live up to expectations."

"Then why did you have me? Just to compete with Nikolaos?! I don't want to compete with him!" I felt my eyes burn. "I don't want a mom that's always drunk and smells like cigarettes! I hate this house! I hate being called an illegitimate son! I hate you-"

I shut up as my cheek exploded in pain letting my tears loose. No way she was going to see me like that. I got up and ran to my room ignoring my moms cries for me to come back. 

And there I stayed for a while.

A few hours later, I stepped over the tray of dinner and my favorite snack. Mom probably left it out here for me because she felt bad as usual after she left.

I felt bad too.

I should go apologize to her. Why did I have to be so rude to her when we only have each other? I wiped my face a bit more to look up and see my dad. It was creepy how he always appeared when things were at their worst.

What I don't understand is, why he kept us around if he hated us so much.

"Oh, I was just going to bed, dad." I told him keeping out of his way. I didn't feel like getting knocked around.

"Aren't you jealous? Or can you not feel that emotion?" He suddenly asked. This were his first words to me in six months, he's made my mom practically lose her mind, and that's all has to say?!

"Pardon?" I had to stay polite, for mom.

"Haven't you ever thought of becoming like Nikolaos? Or have you given up because you know it's impossible for you. " My dad smiled and stared at me. I wasn't sure what to say. I could understand him not caring about my mom and I, but I never expected he was looking down on me too? "I see, you really are jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Everyone says you'll never be anything good. I'm starting to believe it myself. How pitiful," Dad walked away without looking back.

I kept on to the bathroom. Nikolaos was jealous of me! No fucking way was I jealous of him! I had the better life! No one expected anything of me and I was happier than Nikolaos would ever be in his entire life! The reason my life was so hood and my mother wasn't getting beaten was because Nikolaos's mom and him are the center of his world.

"Kanstantinos! Someone gave me tickets to a play at the party! Wanna go with me?!" Nikolaos jumped excitedly in my face. "It'll be fun only if you come with me!"

"Why?" So he can give the adults more things to talk about? All this time Nikolaos has been trying to get close to me because he pitied me!

"She said I spoke so well and she liked how good my memory was! You were right, it is cool. She said it's fun, so I thought-"

"Shut the hell up? Who do you think you are to invite me anything? You think you're better than me too don't you?" I snapped at him. Nikolaos looked completely shocked at my outburst.

"I never thought I was better," he started to cry again. "I just want to hang out with you. I'm sorry!"

"There you go again! You think crying is going to get you everything you want?!" I snapped. "You should be jealous of me! Why do you think dad doesn't hit my mom and I like we're punching bags?! Because you two are the unwanted ones! You two are the ones who need to be fixed!"

"Kanstantinos, what happened, I'm scared!"

"Can you stop fucking crying! I hate being compared to you!! Do you know how annoying you are?!" I screamed. "Do You have to be so damn perfect?!"

"Kanstantinos-"

"Stay the hell away from me, ya loser! I'm tired of putting up with you just because I feel sorry for a no good waste of life." I spat at his crying face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Levi's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~

~Flashback~

Kanstantinos changed since that night. He never wants to play anymore and he's stopped speaking to me completely. He had somehow isolated me from the rest of the class as well and took the lead in making my life a lot harder.

Did I do something wrong to him? Should I apologize?

"Did you do your homework, Nikolaos?" Mom asked me. She was the only one left who was nice to me and I kept disappointing her.

"Not yet," I looked down. "I fell asleep while I was studying because I couldn't sleep last night."

"Don't you care about your son?" Dad asked. "You let him loose like that, don't you see how hard Kanstantinos is studying right now?"

"I don't want to burn him out," mom whimpered a bit. "He's just a little boy, he needs to be a kid sometimes."

"Ha! Sounds like excuses!" Kanstantinos mom came out into the living room bumping my moms shoulder before crawling over to sit on my dads lap. "Honey, don't blame the kid. This is the best you can get with mediocrity, and after you tried so hard to fix her. What a waste."

I looked up at my mom. Her look was unfamiliar, but I was sincerely scared of her now. From that day on Kanstantinos and I never saw each other except in passing. We could never play and my mother kept on me to finish my studies as if her life depended on it.

One day while studying my eyes started to droop, and I had to hear he scares man's yell about how I'm letting everyone down. I had to live, eat and breathe academics and it was so damn boring! I wanted to go play! I want to go outside and play in the treehouse with Kanstantinos like we used too.

Still, Kanstantinos was happier than I'd ever seen him. I should just....listen to what mommy said and study again.

I got up to go splash water on my face but soon my curiosity stopped me.

The big closet dad said no one can go into. Maybe if I see, I can just go back to studying. Doing one thing out of line wouldn't hurt me. I opened the door and quickly turned the light on expecting something incredible.

Instead, I came face to face with a whiteboard. On one side was me, Kanstantinos and our moms. On the other was some redhead lady, some guy and a redhead kid. Everything was written in Greek except the names. "Tyler Moss? Who's that?"

"Nikolaos?" I heard someone say from behind me. I jumped around to face my dad. I shook where I stood, his overbearing gaze was the only thing in this world that scared me. "What are you doing in here?"

"The door wasn't locked." I said. "I'll go!"

My dad grabbed a handful of my shirt and lifted me off my feet. "You saw everything, right?"

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed harder. He was going to finally kill me! "I didn't mean to come in!" I started to pee uncontrollably.

"It doesn't matter, it'll be your business pretty soon anyway," my dad dropped me from his grip and walked off leaving me to cry in a puddle of my pee.

"Are you ok?" I looked up and cleared my eyes a bit so he wouldn't be able to see me crying again. "Oh, it's just this room again."

"Kanstantinos? I'm...I'm fine. I just-"

"Ok," Kanstantinos turned his back and walked away from me.

"Wait!" I shot up and grabbed his arm. "Are you mad at me?! Did I do something wrong? Why did you make everyone turn against me in class?"

"My mom wants me to do better...and I want to be better than you, because I am. So I don't want to see your face or your mothers face, and I'm looking forward to dad finally kick you two out. And you smell like piss so get off me, loser." Kanstantinos shook my grip and left.

But why did we have to compete with each other at all? You always told me that it was pointless to compete over these things because it wasn't our problem! So why is it effecting us now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~Jay's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Flashback ~

After dad left to visit Thailand, it was just us four in this uncomfortable house. Nikolaos and I didn't even speak anymore, though he tried to Appeal to me many times.

The tension between us and our mothers escalated every morning as usual. But that was because Nikolaos's mom was jealous of my mom and I! Our mothers hated for each other, for whatever reason, but mom said soon dad will get rid of those two.

"Nice job, you got a perfect score, Kanstantinos!" The teacher told me. "But this isn't like you Nikolaos, you got one wrong."

I turned to my brother in shock. Less than perfect? He didn't look sad or upset, he just put his head down while everyone in class proceeded to make fun of him.

That's amazing! Finally he was being treated like he should be by everyone!

As soon as I got home I started planning on how to tell mom what was going on. She'd be so happy maybe she'll stop drinking! She'd. Be happy about me alienating Nikolaos! She'd be number one to my dad again!

I ran to my moms room taking a second to let the smell of alcohol out. This stuff was disgusting.

I should surprise her! A surprise will help her! I hid in her closet waiting for her to come out of her bathroom shower.

When she came out she sat in her chair and started to brush her hair and sing a bit. She was in a great mood! I got up and got ready to jump out with my test paper in my hands, but I stopped seeing Nikolaos mom walk in.

"What the hell do you want now?! Still have more to say, ya bitch?!" My mom snapped. I heard something click twice as Nikolaos's mom held something in both her hands. "What are you doing? You crazy bitch!"

"I thought about it! I could make Nikolaos's life happier with a normal family. Maybe he could grow up a bit normally."

"So you plan to get rid of me?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you just leave this house'"

"Because I'm his wife! This is my house! You came in and just-"

"It's not my fault you couldn't take care of your husband, and he decided to make a better child with me!"

"I'll fucking kill you bitch!" Nikolaos's mom looked a solo crazy. "How dare you come into my house and ruin my family?!"

"You must've gotten hit in the head too hard. Youre nothing but a bother to him. That's why he's divorcing you and kicking you and that little shit onto the pavement."

"I'm....if I kill you, he won't."

My mom stayed silent but still turned her back to Nikolaos's mom and laughed. "Oh please look at you tremble like a newborn! You won't-"

"I WILL!!!!" A loud boom echoed throughout the room making my ears start to ring. I fell back and kept nursing my ears scared at what the loud noise might have been.

What seems like forever later, the ringing and pain eased up enough for me to get up and run out of the closet to check on my mom....who was now on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Levi's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~

~Flashback ~

"Mommy, I heard a loud bang," I saw my mom frantically grabbing an armful of towels from my closet as I sat up in my bed.

"It's nothing, go back to bed sweetie!" Mom smiled. "I'll bring you back to sleep."

"Ok," I lay back down in my bed and my mom started to rub my head. She smelled like fire and metal. "Can we all just get along, mom? I want to play with my brother again, I miss him. And I want you to love me again. Can't we just leave the house?"

"You want to leave? Why?"

"Because it's scary to watch daddy beat you up. It's scary when daddy beats me up. I hate living with that monster! He ruined everything!" I cried to my mom. "I just want to live well with you!"

"M....mommy has to get something. Do you think you can go to bed by yourself?" Mom asked me.

"Only if you promise, I can play with Kanstantinos again and we can leave this place."

Mom hesitated but quickly nodded letting some tears fall onto my face. "I promise. I love you, Niko."

"I love you too mommy." I smiled and lay back down. I expected her to stay but to my disappointment I heard my room door close. I knew we wouldn't leave tomorrow, but at least she promised me that we could leave.

I stared out of my window next to my bed to see the star more clearly. I sat back up to reach for my telescope before hearing another loud bang from outside. Was it a thunderstorm?

Turning back to my window I saw my mom. She seemed as if she was falling from the sky. As she passed my window, it all seemed like slow motion. I swore she was smiling at me.

"Mom?" I said watching her limp body make contact with the concrete and twist up unnaturally. As a pool of red liquid started to form around her.

I ran from my room immediately. It was a trick right? I'd open the door, and mom will be standing there like a magician. Then she'll take me back to bed and tuck me in again for the night.

When I finally got the door unlocked, I froze up at the mangled bloody mess in front of me. I reached out to my mom's outstretched hand but was quickly scooped up by a servant.

It was a double suicide they said. Suicide is when people take their own lives, so I don't believe that's what happened?

I saw my mom die...and so did Kanstantinos. No way it was suicide!

"I saw my mom die, they were arguing then my ears started to hurt so bad they started bleeding! I saw your mom shoot my mom." Kanstantinos said.

"Stop! You keep saying that!" I snapped at Kanstantinos. He was lying! He had to be. "Mom promised me we can all get along. She promised we would leave the house and we could play together again."

"The funeral is about to start." My dad told us. Kanstantinos and I shut up followed him obediently. "Do you guys want me to help you forget what happened?"

"What?" Kanstantinos asked.

"Such a scene would've been hard for you two to digest. It would be for a regular adult." Dad said. "So I'll help you."

"Is it possible to really forget?" I asked. I didn't want to forget my mother though. He's going to just do something horrible to us, just like he must've done to our moms!

But, As children we had no other choice but to fall in line and do what dad said. At that moment, dad was the only person we could count on to support us at all.

We moved soon after he put us both on special medications. We mainly stayed indoors reading books or had sessions with the counselors dad hired for us. And we wrote in journals everyday.

The counselor told me to keep my journal detailed, first by day, then hour to hour, then by second to second. We just did as we were told seeing no point in this, but not wanting punishment for declining.

I was perscribed one more pill than Kanstantinos and we had to take these pills twice a day.

Eventually we grew familiar with this lifestyle and Kanstantinos stopped repeating what he saw that day. In fact he was happier than before. The past meant nothing to him anymore, as if it had never happened.

The only strange thing was he kept forgetting who I was and it started becoming harder and harder to remember who he was. His journal entries got shorter until he stopped writing all together.

Soon I began writing less and less myself as I never saw the point. I found when I woke up in the mornings, I was in an unfamiliar place and I didn't recognize myself as I looked in the mirror. I didn't even know who I was or what was outside this caged room.

And there i stayed trapped for years, repeating that cycle.