#Chapter3 Chores
how do you know when you actually fall in love ? .be serious ?
well Baekhyun says I have already fallen .but I'm not even close to him I'm just staring like a freak whenever he was around . sometimes I would even wait around the comer until his class was over so I could see him walking out with that stupid half smirk of his. I mean I was staring at him in the past but ever since that talk I keep thinking about him .what is wrong with me we didn't even talk that much ! I feel like I'm going insane .
oh shit there he was again I exhaled as I saw him walking out of his classroom .my books squeezed tight onto my chest and my bag resting in my lap .
as I watched him talk to his friends .I couldn’t help but wonder about the things he said .was this perfect smile he showed fake ?
my heart stopped when they suddenly came this way .
shit they never came this way
I quick picked my bag up swung in onto my back and somehow tried to move away but I just froze.the steps were getting closer and I pan iced .
what now !?
not knowing better I just faced the lockers and closed my eyes .like a little boy, who hoped the creepy shadow from the wardrobe would disappear when he closes his eyes .I don't have to worry about that. my room doesn’t have a wardrobe because it is a wardrobe.no exactly it’s just the under-stair storage .
with those thoughts I tried to distract myself as they walk past but unfortunately one of those idiots just had to hit me with his shoulder, causing me to fall foreword against the lockers and let my books fall to the ground .
I just wanted to disappear into thin air at that point .but unfortnatly that wasn't possible .
/" Xiumin wtf man ?/"I swallowed as I heard Jongins voice .
I tried to ignore it and got down to my books. when Jongin appeared besides me . making me nervous once more.
/" Sorry, seems like he still doesn’t know how to walk /" his chuckle at the end somehow made me smile .and he handed me the books as we both stood up again .
I noticed that the others already continued walking .
/" You ok ?/"
I nodded and he handed me the rest of the books .
/" do I know you ?/" he squinted and I lowered my head a little holding onto the feeling of safety under my hoddie .
/" Ey Jongin !/" his friends called from the other end of the hallway .
and he turned a second .I didn't know why I did it or why I suddenly felt like just running away .Jongin just made me feel so anxious at times and I didn't think .when I just turned around and walked away .
/" Hey !/" he called after me but stupid stuuupid stupid me didn't listen and instead walked faster .
pathetic
stupid
idiot
dumb
so many words I could describe myself now .
Yixing sat beside me on the counter while beak stood in front of me helplessly watching me as I had my head laying limp onto the counter and my hands hanging besides me
/" how could I be sooo dumb !/" I whined not raising my head .
and Yixing slowly stroke over my head. /" it’s ok ../"
/" No ! I just walked away .. he called me ! and what did I do ? I ran away like a little bitch /"
I didn't need to see to know that beak and Yixing shared a helpless glance .
that’s when the bell of the diner door rang, and I raised my head again .
sighing I turned around rubbed my eyes and grabbed the menu
.. I was tired of this so so tired I wanted to forget Jongin I don't even get why he’s so stuck in my head .
Chanyeol and beak at least made it together, turns out neither one of them could wait until the ball as they both are already .. practically a couple it’s so obvious that Chanyeols going to ask him at the ball if he wanted to be his boyfriend .
/" Hello, here the menu would you like to od-/" I stopped talking once I realized that it was xiumin ,yoona and sehun sitting there . I mentally cursed .
/" Look who's serving us .its diner boy /" xiumin chuckled. I questioned myself more times how he could look so nice and cute but act like such an asshole .
/" Wow I haven’t heard much of you these days have you transferd ?/" yoona who was sitting in the middle chewing her gum spoke .and it annoyed me I just wanted to someday take that gum and slam it into her face .
see if she still shows me her beautiful white teeth then .
unfortunately I was a pussy and more than imagining .. isn’t there
/" leave him let’s just order /" sehun then spoke picking up the card I was kind of thankful .sehun never really had a loud voice when they insult . he only gets loud when they laugh and talk, which meant that he could be a good guy as well .
they ordered and I moved back to the counter filling the glasses and handing Yixing the paper with the meals that they ordered , as he disappeared into the kitchen .
I gave them the drinks and moments later serverd them their food .I did notice how beck kept looking at me without begging me to stop and talk to him .it was that look he gave me again .
pity.
it was late and the streets were dark as I locked the door to the diner . beak had left a while ago I assured him to not worry and that i'd text him later .
Yixing was watching when I picked my school bag up .it was weekend which meant a whole weekend with just me and my stepbrother , sister and father .
I groaned when I couldn’t pull that stupid key back out . aggressivly I started hitting the door until Yixing stopped me
/" Kyungsoo calm down /"
he held my hand and pulled slowly as the key followed without problem .
/" I'm sorry.. I just ./"
/"Hate weekends ?/" he finished for me and I couldn’t agree more. it’s actually pretty weird .I mean who the hell hates weekends ? only me I guess
/" it’s fine /" I sighed and turned to walk my way when Yixing stopped me by grabbing my upper arm and I turned with big eyes towards him .
/" You know /" he took a breath /"you can't start beating yourself up as well now /"
I removed his hand at that adjusting my glasses as I felt the first few rains drops .
/" I'm not beating myself up /"
pulling my hoddie over my head I put the key in my bag .
/" I just want you to know .. if you ever feel ... /" he seemed have lost all his words /" you know that beak and I we are here, and you can always talk to us no matter what-/" .
that was it I didn't need to hear more to know what was going on in his head again .
/" Yixing.. don't worry ok .I'm fine really I'm not that desired/" I offerd him a smile patting his shoulder.
/" See you tomorrow /"
Yixing returned my smile .
/" see you tomorrow /"
with that he turned away to walk away and I did the same .
my smile faded though as my hand slowly rubbed my forearm rembering that I almost ended up like my mother .
it was a half hour way so you can imagen I wasn't really that motivated to walk right now especially in the rain .
/" Kyungsoo ?/"
of Corse my name would be called as soon as I entered the house .
they would always call my name.
as I looked around I already saw that everything was a mess .
usually I would go home after work and ignore everything around me and firstly look for food in the fridge .I would make breakfast and lunch for everyone before I leave to work and whatever they don't eat .. I eat.
it’s disgusting and all but what else am I supposed to do besides that I also eat a little in the diner with Yixing .we can't eat the food of the diner though since my stepfather is very strict about that .beak said that he wouldn’t notice anyway but I guess I'm still scared .so Yixing usually has 2 sandwiches one of them he offers to me .
/" Kyungsoo!/"
I roll my eyes and walk further inside taking my shoes off as I pulled my hoodie off my head .
I carefully entered the living room to see my stepfather sitting in front of the tv.
/" yes sir ?/"
/" Look around here .. didn't I tell you to clean even on the weekdays/" shit .. he did say that how could I have forgotten so stupid once more .why am I such an idiot !?
/" i-I'm sorry I forgot /"
he sighed heavy and turned his face to look at me .I knew this was trouble again .and I felt my heart racing again .
/" I'm tired, your punishment will be tomorrow for now clean the house Eunji comes later so she'll need fresh dinner .also the washing maschine is broken so you'll do the washing outside again and the fridge looks almost empty you better get up early tomorrow to get the food /" he spoke as he got up from the couch turning the tv off .
I swallowed as I felt tears build in my eyes .why was I so stupid if I just hadn’t forgotten .fuck .
I was terryfied of a punishment and when he took his first steps towards the door .walking past me I felt like someone shot into my chest .
I closed my eyes as I heard his footsteps disappearing upstairs. and I released a quiet breath when he was gone /" shit /"
running my fingers through my hair I took a deep breath and inserted one headphone .keeping the other free in case someone called me, and I started working .
I picked the old bottle up from the ground stuffing it into a bag . those will give me some money later .so I continued with the old tissues and empty packages of chips and gum .stuffing them all in 2 different bags. before I took all the dirty plates from the couch and the table laying them down by the sink .after that I brushed the old cramps off of the couch and the table so it would be easier to just hover everything.wich I did then .
moving on I cleaned the 2 tables , the tv .the cabinet and the light with cleaner.
that all took me long enough as I glanced at the clock on the wall .
it was already 11pm .I sighed. I needed to make dinner for Eunji .why did I clean the living room first then oh my god .seriously use your brain .
I hurried to the kitchen and removed all the old plates to get to the cooker. I took a look into the fridge debating on what I should cook with the little food we still had left .it smelled delicious, but I can eat later .
Eunji wasn't like Seungsoo or my step farther .she would probably not go and get aggressiv or run to him and tell him I didn't behave .so I decided I could just make her ramen .
while the water boiled, I washed the old plates. as my thouhts ran back to tomorrow .
I was still scared. it’s been a long time since I last got punished and it left some marks-
the clicking of the door distracted me, and I looked behind me to see Eunji enter .she smiled at me and I returned it weakly .
/" i-I'm sorry .. there isn’t much food left so I thought ramen was ok /" I stopped the cooker and took a fresh plate placing it on the table as well as the saucepan.
she stopped my hand as I was about to fill her plate with the ramen .
/" is dad asleep ?/" she asked looking up at me .and I nodded
glancing at the wall I saw that it was already quarter to 12 pm . double shit am I not right.
/" did you eat ?/"
that question made me hesitate. no I didn't eat but was I going to tell her that ? she would probably say I should eat with her but I don't think I would be able to besides I still got 4 more rooms to clean .
the kitchen,
the bathroom (up- \& downstairs)
the hall (up- \& downstairs)
and the play room which is probably going to be the worst .
/" Kyungsoo ?/"
I looked into her eyes amd nodded slowly ./" y-yeah don't worry /" forcing a smile I turned back to the plates that still needed to be washed .
after about 15 minutes or so .Eunji seemed to have finished eating as she gave me her plate and closed the saucepan
/" I'm going to bed , you should get some sleep as well /" I sensed the pity in her voice and it made me swallow. I never liked pity .it made me feel weak .people say it comforts you and that’s why so many search pity, but I do not want it .I hate it
/"Yeah I'm almost done anyway/"
judging by the next few steps she took .she seemed to believe my lie .I wasn't done at all .
once I finished all the plates and mobbed the floor it was already
1 am .
ok the diner opens at 6 am I need
an hour to buy food and get rid of the trash .which means I need to get up at least at 4 considering the walk I have to take to get there and back .yep sport is just a great thing isn’t it .
and once I was finshed the hallway downstairs and the bathroom which was disgusting.
it was unfortunately already 2am and the time was killing me once more. I started rushing as I sweeped the halls upstairs .and deservedly removed the puke and dirt in the bathroom .over used candoms to dirty towels sometimes I really ask myself if they turned into complet pigs
and at last I washed the clothes outside in the water bucket .
this is so much fun ..
when I was finally done it was already 3 am which meant one hour sleep .. great .
I rushed downstairs and got into the under-stair storage, it might sound bad and small but it actually wasn't even that small I mean I couldn’t stand in there yeah but I could still lay down fully .the house was big after all and the stairs were wide. so that’s a good thing right?
I changed my clothes quick and rushed with my toothbrush towards the bathroom brushing my teeth. yeah I was still hungry but just thinking about the things I’ve seen in the bathrooms made my appetite fade .
so once I returned to my room I closed my eyes tightly after taking a last glance at the clock .
3:12 am.