HE SAID THE KISS WAS A MISTAKE

After catching their breath, they stared at each other silently, both lost in their own thoughts.

Roderick regainted his composure earlier than Elena. However, what he said next left Elena stupified.

"I want you to be the head designer for this project..." He took the document at the side and presented it to her. "And lead the project." He ended.

Elena looked at the document in her hand and back at the man who just turned in a stone-cold bastard after kissing her. She felt like there was a lump in her throat as she gazed into his cold and indifferent grey eyes.

Then out of nowhere, pain bubbled up and settled in her deep saffire blue eyes. She opened and closed her mouth, wanting to say something but not knowing what to.

Roderick noticed the hurt in her eyes but there wasn't a ripple in his dead eyes. But in his heart he felt unwilling, he didn't want to hurt her. He just didn't want to lead her on if he wasn't ready for it.

So he decided to ignore it, as if they were not the ones who kissed just a while ago.

He was about to say something else when Elena suddenly smiled.

It was an ugly smile.

A sad smile that came from the depths of her soul.

When Elena lost Cameron, she actually lost her grip on her sanity. He was the only thing that kept her from falling apart all this time.

When she lost her parents and shattered, he was the the one who pulled her back together into one piece. When she lost her best friend and snapped, he was the one who held her in place. And when she felt all alone, he stayed with her day and night providing her with the warmth, affection and care she needed.

The doctor had always commented that it was a miracle she was able to have emotional stability after experiencing so much loss in such a close period.

But it was because Cameron was there.

Being the glue that mended all her broken parts and a rope that held her together when she was about to fall apart, he had been her everything.

He allowed her to live on but she didn't want to anymore, not when she wasn't with him. Because, she had absolutely nothing to live for anymore.

Thinking this, her pained smile spread even more and she lowered her head silently. She didn't say anything to Roderick and didn't intend to even look at him anymore.

She looked at the document on her lap and suddenly sneered. She handed the document back to Roderick, not intending to speak to him at all.

She closed her eyes and leaned back, looking like she was falling asleep.

"Elena." He said gently but the woman didn't respond. Elena really didn't know why but she couldn't care less about Roderick, about anything.

"Elena!" He started to raise his voice, noticing she was ignoring him.

"Leave me alone." She finally responded and you would think it would sound harsh and angry but no. It was said in a neutral, dead tone without a single iota of emotion.

Roderick suddenly turned silent. Elena had already opened her eyes again and was silently staring back at Roderick without blinking. And whatever he saw in her eyes must have scared him for some reason because his eyes widened and he took a step back from her.

Yes, Roderick was scared.

Elena's eyes had dimmed again and it was worst this time. It was like a calm lake without a single ripple. There wasn't a flicker of emotion in her dim eyes. At the moment, Roderick's and Elena's eyes looked one and the same.

Then all of a sudden, Roderick pulled Elena into his embrace, speaking frantically.

"Don't, don't be like that. Elena, you are a good girl, right? You have a beautiful soul, okay? Don't let it die, don't."

He was truly worried, he knew that look and he had never wanted Elena to show that look, ever. That dead look meant emptiness and he knew more than anyone that feeling empty was more painful than being stabbed by a knife.

Because that void was so hard to fill.

He never wanted Elena to experience that yet he had caused it. It made him feel restless.

As he held her in his embrace, he felt her tremble and shake violently. He was about to pull away when he felt the wetness on his shirt. Knowing that crying was a good release of those negative emotions in her system, he didn't stop her and instead patted her back soothingly.

"Why? Why are you like this. Uncaring one second and extremely caring the next? Why are you playing with my emotions?" Elena spoke, her voice muffled as her head was pressed against his chest.

Silence...

Seeing as Roderick didn't respond, she pulled away from him. She then stared at him, eyeball to eyeball

And for the first time, she saw real, raw emotions flickering in his grey eyes. His expression looked uncertain as if he was also asking himself those questions.

"Were you just going to ignore the fact that we just kissed just now?" Elena snapped at him sharply

"Because it was a mistake!" Roderick snapped back without thinking.

When he realized what he said, tears had already welled up in Elena's eyes once again and her lips curled into a smile. She shook her head disbelievingly as she took a step back from him.

"Elena, no wait. I didn't mean it like that. Please let me explain. Listen to —"

"No. No you don't get to say it was a mistake and then try to explain. You don't get to care when you want to and not care when you don't want to. You don't get to play with my feelings. I've been played enough. I'm tired. All of this is...simply too exhausting."

When Elena was done talking she turned on her heels, intending to walk away when Roderick hugged her from behind. However, she didn't even give him the chance to properly wrap his arms around her and span on her heels to face him.

They were extremely close but this time, Elena wasn't affected by it. Instead she opened her mouth and began talking again.

"Do you know how it feels like to lose your father to an accident at the construction site he worked? Or how it feels to lose your mother to depression a few months later? Or even to lose your best friend who was on her way to console you after learning of your loss to a car accident? Ha! I don't think so. You rich people are always playing with us lower class people, as if we don't have feelings ourselves. Is it nice watching a girl's eyes light up with hope only to dim with disappointment later? Is it fun? Is it entertaining?"