11

The view of the beach was so beautiful, the sun was shining orange with flocks of birds flying in the clouds, not so many people visited here considering that this beach was private property, to be precise this beach and the land around it was the property of Alex's family. Ezra was still not used to seeing the sea, so he just stayed quiet in his room, sitting leisurely by the window, admiring the atmosphere from a distance.

Despite having bad experiences with the sea, he did not hate it, he did not hate looking at this scene from afar, but he still did not know if he was brave enough to get close, the smell of salty seawater wafting into his nostrils still occasionally made him shudder, making the screams inside his head getting louder.

However Ezra was still able to tolerate this much.

At first he refused to come, but after Alex, Edward and Martin knocked on his apartment door and invited him to go with them, Ezra's memory seemed to return to an incident.

There were many things he could not remember, but when he looked at the calendar, his eyes were stunned for a moment. It was a day he would never forget.

He remembered it clearly, the pain, the sorrow he felt, so in the end he agreed to come here, he wanted to change something.

If something could change, for example like Raphael who did not date Bella in this timeline, maybe he could change this one too.

Come to think of it, where's that guy?

Closing the curtains, he was kind of glad that the resort was not too close to the beach, so the smell of the sea water was not too strong, but still his legs felt a little weak when he saw the water, a beautiful sight yet he still could not get used to this.

His feet stepped towards the door of Raphael's room, the room right beside his, he knocked. Knocked on the door again and again but no answer.

Where is he? Maybe he is playing with those idiots.

With that in mind, Ezra descended the stairs. His guess was correct because after he had walked for not too long, a familiar sound of laughter was then heard, so he approached the room.

As he went inside he saw Raphael and Martin playing ping pong. Edward was sitting on the sofa watching a random program on the television screen, and Alex was stretched out on the sofa with his face covered by a book.

Martin who saw Ezra enter the room silently, immediately stopped his activity. Raphael, who had his back to Ezra, was confused why Martin suddenly stopped playing, but then he looked back. Slowly a thin smile appeared on his lips.

"Ezra!" Martin greeted him excitedly, his face shining as friendly as ever. "Do you like this place? Do you like your room?"

"Yes, the room is good. Thanks to Alex."

Alex, who was lying on the couch with a book covering his face, raised a thumb.

Those three have no idea that Ezra had a bad experience with the sea. Even though the news about the ship sinking at that time was often reported in the media. No one knew that Ezra was one of the passengers who survived the unfortunate incident. That's because Ezra asked for Raphael's help not to allow journalists to spread his name and face. The reason Ezra did that was because he wanted to completely forget about it, but apparently it failed, no matter what he did, Ezra always remembered the incident in detail.

A few days ago, Ezra had almost forgotten about today. Thanks to Martin, Alex, and Edward inviting him to go on vacation here, Ezra suddenly reminded about what happened in this timeline.

The day Raphael was injured, someone shot him in the leg.

In his previous life he still did not know who shot him, the investigation carried out by the Winchens family was also still ongoing, and it went on for years without witnesses. Even until the day Ezra died, the case was still unsolved.

So the reason why Ezra agreed to come here, despite having a bad experience with the sea, was because he wanted to prevent it from happening again. Obviously, he had no idea how to prevent that from happening, but he wanted to try. He hoped that it would not happen.

Raphael, seeing Ezra standing idly, stepped closer with a facial expression as if trying to read Ezra's face. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. Ezra replied with a nod, yeah just like this, only Raphael knew Ezra's condition.

It's okay, he didn't really have a phobia with the sea, well maybe a little bit, that's why he didn't want to go near, though he could admire it from afar.

"Really? Don't force yourself." His words were gentle but mixed with a little worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Tonight there is a famous singer who will come to a bar near this resort. Ezra do you want to come?" Martin with a lively face full of enthusiasm, asked Ezra. Obviously hoping Ezra would come along, but Ezra hesitated.

Thinking, he looked at Raphael, "Do, do you want to go?"

Raising his eyebrows as if he didn't expect Ezra to ask him that, Raphael opened his mouth, "I think I will go, I haven't had a drink in a long time."

Ezra's lips twitched, what to do, what should he say about this. In his previous life, Ezra did not come to this place. So that's why he didn't know the details of what happened, the only thing he knew was, the shooting happened at night.

"What's wrong, you don't seem to want me to go?"

"Don't worry, if you are afraid to be alone here, then don't be. This resort is safe, there are many employees on guard. The security of this building is guaranteed, so you don't need to worry."

Yes the resort is safe, but what about outside?

He wasn't worried about himself but Raphael, yet how could he tell him without looking like a madman? 'In my previous life, you got shot at night, so don't go.' There was no way he could say that, Raphael would look at him funnily, as if Ezra had gone mad.

At Alex who had just reassured him that this place was safe, Ezra sneakily glanced at Raphael again, somehow there was a sparkle in his eyes, he seemed to be in a good mood.

"Alex's mom is ex-military so she's scary, but she's kinda hot." Martin whispered almost inaudible into Ezra's ear, wiggling his eyebrows, for some reason Martin's voice made it to Alex who quickly straightened up to sit, he shot Martin a glare.

"Don't talk like that about my mom! That's disgusting Martin!"

Alex threw a thick book right on Martin's back, Martin winced, groaning dramatically while rubbing his back.

"Haah ..."

The man that let out a heavy breath made Ezra's attention fall on him. Edward. Come to think of it, Edward just sat quietly on the sofa, it was so uncharacteristically him, usually he was the one who was always noisy with Martin.

Ezra couldn't help feeling confused, why a cheerful guy like Edward looked a bit depressed, his eyes were puffy as if he didn't have enough sleep.

"You know what, Ezra? Edward had a fight with his girlfriend."

"Shut up!" Edward glared at Martin, however the culprit laughed aloud, scratching his chin as if it was fun to tease his friend.

"Drinking is delicious when you are having problems, let's go to the bar! and don't think too much about her."

"She said she is disappointed in me because I forgot our anniversary! How can I just drink and not think about it!" Edward shouted hoarsely, his face looking like it would break at any second, Martin somehow laughed at him.

Seriously, Martin could not read the room, Edward was sad about his love problems but he just laughed like that.

But then, "It's because you're single that you don't know what it's like to fight with your lover!" Edward scoffed, hearing those words Martin immediately closed his mouth tightly.

Ezra almost burst out laughing, he looked at the two idiots in turn, then covered his mouth with a hand. Goosebumps— Ezra felt someone was watching him so he turned his head. In an instant, his eyes met Raphael's blue ones. The man stared intently as if scanning every inch of his face, like a child looking at his favorite toy with twinkling eyes.

Ezra didn't know how to react whenever Raphael looked at him like that.

"If you two want to fight, then do it outside!"

Alex, looking at the two alternately with tired eyes, sighed heavily.

Martin looked somber, as if the words Edward had said, hit him hard right at his weak point.

As a result, the atmosphere in the room became dark, there was no laughter, no one spoke anymore. Ezra sat down on the settee, leaning his head back.

Edward, ignoring everyone else in the room, limped along as if he had no will to live, looking very depressed. Meanwhile Martin said he would go to the bar first, and Alex with a book in his hand said that he was hungry and planned to stop by a restaurant. So right now, in this room, there were only Ezra and Raphael.

There was an awkward silence filling the room, Raphael then sat beside him, too close, but Ezra didn't move away.

"I'm a bit surprised that you agreed to come here."

"Yeah me too, I didn't want to come at first, but—..."

Ezra pressed his lips together, he could not say what the real reason was for coming here somehow, though it would have been easier to tell Raphael, about 'There would be someone out there wanting to hurt you' however Ezra thought, Raphael wouldn't believe those ridiculous words.

"But?"

"..."

Raphael pushed him to explain further with his unblinking eyes, Ezra bit his lower lip, lowering his eyes to avoid the gaze, preferring instead to look at his swaying feet. "Nothing..." he said, Raphael's face turned slightly disappointed.

"Okay then why did you look hesitant when I said I will go to the bar."

"Ugh ... It's just, I.."

What to do? What should I say?

He wanted Raphael to avoid that unfortunate incident, he did not want to see Raphael get hurt.

"Yes, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here."

In the end, Ezra said it straight out, despite feeling a bit embarrassed after saying those words. Ezra closed his eyes for a moment before he raised his head again to look at Raphael who was now covering half of his face with one hand.

Even though half of his face was covered, Ezra could see Raphael who was blushing up to his ears.

"?????"

For some reason, it was very charming to Ezra, Ezra looked at him with eyes as if he wanted to stare at that face continuously. But as usual, Raphael quickly changed his expression. Back to the signature calm face.

"Okay," he said, his voice a little hoarse. "I wont go."

Instantly Ezra let out the breath he had been holding, as if relieved to hear it, his shoulders became lighter, his lips smiled faintly.

"You seem like in a good mood recently Ezra, what a relief to see you like that."

".... Me?"

"After that incident," Raphael hesitated at first, he glanced at Ezra, seeing Ezra's curious eyes, he continued, "You always look at everything with cold eyes, it's ... I understand that you can't control it but ...."

Hearing that Ezra was silent, he didn't know how to react so he listened silently. Raphael was still looking at him, his face was that of a man who was stricken with worry.

"It scares me, I don't want to see those eyes on you, like everything around you is insignificant, as if you think you don't deserve to live. Ezra ... I am glad you are here."

Ezra, looked at him with an incredulous face. Was it really that obvious? Did he really look like he always wanted to end his life? Even though he tried his best not to show it publicly, Raphael could always read it.

Unfortunately, Ezra could not deny it— he was right, the guilt for having survived that incident was still stifling in his chest, even now Ezra still had doubts about his life.

Throb-throb— his heart thumped violently, something warm spread from his chest throughout his entire body. Ezra rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand. Raphael's expression was so gentle, this man never hides a look of admiration every time he saw Ezra, Ezra realized that, always paid attention to those eyes, but somehow he was always afraid, afraid that this was all just an illusion.

'I'm glad you're here.' — Implying that he was glad Ezra was alive.

"O-okay," stuttering a bit, Ezra averted his gaze because he couldn't bear to hold eye contact for too long, "I- I..., Raphael, I still can't fully believe it myself, so I ... nevermind."

Ezra stood up, walked quickly as if in a sense of urgency towards the exit "I'm going back to my room, I'm going to sleep."

"It's too soon to sleep." Raphael said in a half-whispered voice, he also stood up. Nervously Ezra looked back at the man who was now standing right behind him, for a second, Ezra caught his face which he could never read. But one thing he realized was that Raphael's eyes were always on him.

It made him feel small, no, he was certainly aware that this man was taller and bigger than him but the difference did not really bother him, somehow sometimes— mentally, it made him feel small. It was as if that strong and sturdy body lure him to lean on his shoulder, maybe with that, the noisy voices in his head would disappear.

Maybe if he soaked in the warmth of this man's body temperature, he could feel at ease.

Someone who always looked at him as if he wanted Ezra to continue to depend on him.

Afraid— He was afraid of being tied up, then he would lose something precious again, and that would be terribly painful. He didn't want to feel any attachment.

"I'm sleepy," he muttered again, opening the doorknob slowly, ignoring the occasional warm breath that blew gently on the back of his hair.

Ezra left without looking back, though he was a bit curious what kind of facial expression was on the man. He didn't turn around, despite his heart telling him to keep being there.

He went straight to his room.