(12) what they don't know

"Airi you IDIOT!"

The last time she remembers Zoey being this furious was when she threatened a popular upperclassman in their first year in high school, it took a while before her head finally cooled down.

Anger is an understatement. With her teeth bare and her breath coming in bursts, this seemed much worse than her usual bouts of anger Airi thought. Her eyes could almost burn itself in anger, and her hands balled into heavy fists ready hit her. Literally a second away from completely exploding. Airi began to fear something far worse than anything she could ever imagine: Zoey’s uncontrolled anger aimed directly at her. Not even the variety of food in front of her is enough to calm her down.

"How could you agree to that?! You know what would happen don't you?!" Airi was somewhat amazed that Zoey could say all that in a whisper.

Neil agrees with her. "No kidding, what were you thinking?" he says as he looks over at the cafeteria menu. "This could only end badly for you. Even I could tell they’re up to no good."

She knows exactly how they would react. Feeling their concern for her made her feel somewhat blessed, appreciative that they would worry about someone like her. But that's also the reason why it felt like she betrayed them.

She tries to provide reassurance, “trust me, I know what I’m doing,” as she picks out her lunch order. She tries to be casual about but comes out as being rash instead.

“That’s what you said then as well and look what happened!” Zoey retorts, her voice louder and angrier than she means to. The sudden rise in her voice made Ren look over in their direction on impulse.

Airi also knew as much, glancing at the bruise she got from Keith earlier. Doing this could either mend or completely ruin them. Still, she resolved herself to go through with this despite the risky consequences.

She can't explain it properly, normally she would do everything in her power to avoid Ren. Having this convoluted theory that if she ignores him, he would stop soon enough and everything will be as it was.

She underestimated how persistent he can be.

She kept thinking why. Why would he go out of his way to talk to her, be kind and just accept her like what she did is water under the bridge when it isn’t. Nina is still traumatized by her, his friends still hate her. The scar will never heal, heck it’s as fresh as when se first did it. It's just not that easy, because what she did was that bad.

And more than anything, she feels like she still isn't punished enough.

It didn't occur to her until one day when she overheard a girl talking privately Ren, telling him not to bother with her. She tried convincing him, listing out valid reasons why a girl like Airi isn't worth his time, that more than anything, he should be treating her with contempt. She kept going on and on that Airi herself would undoubtedly believe her.

Then she sees Ren smile, a solemn smile that even made the girl speechless.

Then he grins, awkwardly as if even he doesn't;t know what he is doing. "I just can't leave everything as it is."

And it occurred to her that Ren is just being kind. She could be a complete stranger to him and still, she would treat him with the equal amount of kindness. That’s just the kind of person he is. That he is probably doing this to try and fix things, try to mend anything that broke, and salvage what is left. That’s what considers first and foremost: others.

He isn't thinking of what he is feeling, of how he is hurt. She clenches her fits, frustrated and angry at herself and at how Ren always seems to know the right thing to do every time, while she runs in circles figuring out the next thing to do. It made her want to do something, make some kind of leap like he did.

"This is bound to happen sooner or later", she says. It didn't help calm down Zoey though. Especially when she tells her that whatever happens, not to help her. She was about to retort, snap at her at the absurdity of the request when Airi tells her matter of factly:

“Don't forget, you owe me."

And by that, she means the time she helped her out once upon a time at a bar. This only served to frustrate her friend even more. "Airi, you...!"

Neil laughs at this and puts a hand on Zoey’s shoulder, "give up Zoey. Let's just see what happens from here on." he says. She smiles sadly at him, appreciating what probably is the last friendly gesture she will receive from him.

A few feet away, they hear Luke calling out to them. They turn to see him waving at them from the table he and Keith found just. She sees Luke laugh along with Keith, and wishes she could be just as bubbly as he is.

The air as they eat together was intense and everyone was trying their best to remain calm and collected in an attempt to make this worthwhile, however, the fact that it's awkward and forced proved to be a great obstacle. Not to mention Luke and Keith were the only ones carrying the whole conversation, and Ren oddly quiet, occasionally talking. Usually just answering when asked.

However, what stood out the most was Nina being strangely cheerful. Airi understood her to be friendly and outgoing however there was something about her today that feels off; like she was forcing herself. Airi feels bad, after all, she is still traumatized by what happened three years ago.

It's probably why she is being awfully affectionate towards Ren, sticking close to him, wraping her arm around his and going so far as to feed him. When her doting reached a new height, even Luke felt uncomfortable.

“Are they always like that?” he asks Keith, gesturing towards them.

He replies with a shrug, “trust me, you get used to it.”

He shoots a glance at Airi, smirking and she turns away, sighing.

What, is he thinking something like this would make her fume with jealousy? Make her stand up and leave with her tail between her legs? Please, she thinks. She isn’t that stupid to make the same mistake again. She continues eating, thinking she should have ordered a soft-boiled egg with her ramen.

When she isn’t reacting the way Keith expected her to be and just ignores the couple in front of her in favor of talking to Zoey and eating a dumpling off of Luke’s plate (which upset him to no end), he exhales. Thinks that this is harder than he thought.

He was sure she would cave in after seeing how perfect the couple in front of her was, and that would be his chance to strike. He glances at Ren as he tries to subtly put a distance between him and Nina. He isn’t thrilled about the idea of being this affectionate in front of strangers. In front of Airi most especially.

This isn’t turning out the way he wanted it to be, much to his dismay, so he decided to kick it up a notch.

He leans forward, his hands resting comfortably on the table. “You’ve changed Airi,” he flashes a smile in her direction, “you used to be so cold and unreachable now you’re the complete opposite.

“Did you guys know that she used to bully anyone who even so much as approaches this guy?” he pats Ren’s shoulder which highlights his status of being his best friend in the way he just lets him be, all the while laughing casually as if he didn’t just drop a bomb of information in their faces.

Silence filled the table and Luke gasps, turns to Airi in astonishment, a hand over his mouth. She returns his stare, confused and anxious.

“It was all true?!”

Neil almost chokes on his drink.

“What the hell? Did you think I was lying?!” she snaps at him.

She poured her heart and soul into telling them the truth all the while without knowing that this idiot didn’t even take her seriously. “I can’t believe you!”

“I didn’t know you could even go lower, oh my god.” Zoey sighs, a hand over her forehead.

Everyone gapes as Zoey and Airi lash out at Luke, seemingly out to kill him. Meanwhile, he laughs, passing it off as an offhand joke which was total bullshit. He legitimately didn’t believe her and thought it was just a hypothetical question of some sort.

Neil snorts, “what the hell, didn’t you see her c—” Neil quickly covers his mouth, almost letting the fact of Airi crying slip in front of Zoey, who could go bananas at them when she finds out.

“See what?” Zoey corners them, one brow raised furiously, triggering the two to panic.

The two turn to the only person who could calm the beast down. Airi saves the two, passing it off as something she ate during lunch and other plausible excuses she could come up with until she finally calms down. The two sighed in relief, thinking they were this close to getting viciously killed.

Ren watches them, slightly bewildered at their comical interaction.

It was Neil who answers Kieth’s question. “We did.” His eyes are serious as he looks over in his direction; clearly aware of what he is planning.

He couldn't ask for a better reaction. “Oh? So, you must also know that Airi once pushed a girl down a flight of stairs, causing her to be hospitalized for weeks?”

Ren feels Nina stiffen against him and shoots a glare at him. That idiot, he thinks. He explicitly told him not to bring this up ever again in front of Nina. He knows just how much pain this caused her!

What’s worse is that no one is saying anything to stop him, they are all out to ruin Airi.

He feels conflicted, like walking on thin ice. He gets the sense that whoever he tries to defend would automatically put him on that side. Feeling Nina's grip on him grow increasingly tight made him aware of how much pressure she is under when she was barely keeping herself together from the start.

He should have said no, she should have stopped Keith earlier when he had the chance. But at the same time, he wanted them to see how much she has changed. They wanted to see what he sees.

He glances at Luke and Neil and sees their shocked and troubled faces. Clearly, Airi felt it best not to tell them as if cause a blow in the friendship they made. He feels bad, awful, and the fact that his friends were the cause of it made it that much worse.

“It’s not true, right?” Neil turns to Airi and Zoey, who stays silent. He sees Airi clench her fists.

Then and there, Ren decides that if she denies it, he’d use it as an excuse to stop this conversation once and for all.

Knowing her, she would surely deny it for the sake of maintaining the status quo, for the friends she made not to hate her. For all this to end peacefully.

“It’s true.”

Then came the answer.