Akaashi 11

I couldn't stop myself from crying as I watched Bokuto-san from leaving while in my head, all I wish is for him to find his own happiness. I wished for him to stop hating himself for what happened to us. And I wished for him to forget all our painful memories and he will just be left with happy memories.

I looked up to the dark and starry sky after crying it all out while I think of Bokuto-san.

He was my melancholy.

A sweet smile plastered on my lips when I remembered Osamu.

He is my euphoria.

Tsukishima sat beside me when Bokuto-san finally left. He looked at me with a worried look on his face but I smiled at him with assurance that I am truly fine now. I bet he's wondering what Bokuto-san and I talked about.

"He said sorry and told me that he regrets treating me that way. He also said that he loves me." I said to Tsuki that made him expressed a sour face.

"And?"

I sighed and feel the gentle cold wind that brought by December night while recalling the things Bokuto-san and I talked about.

"He said that he's setting me free." I smiled at Tsuki who has a wondering look on his face when he saw me smile.

"Are you really over him? I know you're dating Osamu-san now but...you've been in love with him for such a long time." Tsuki said that made my smile wider when he mentioned Osamu.

"I've been living a melanphoric love when I was with Bokuto-san. He gave me melancholy but at the same time he was also the reason of my euphoria. But then the longer I stayed with him, I feel more sadness than happiness. And then Osamu came into my life. He became my euphoria in the midst of my melancholia." I stopped for a bit and take a deep breath to control the tears that wants to escape my eyes before I continue.

"Heaven and hell. Extreme pain and outmost happiness. Melancholy and Euphoria...or simply Melanphoria. It's what Bokuto-san gave me. But with Osamu... I realized that, even though I feel that same exact feeling for him, there's a big difference. Osamu is the cause of my melanphoria." I sighed and looked at Tsuki who seems to understand what I'm trying to say but I still continue, because I want to voice it out.

My feelings.

"I'm in pain because he's in pain. I'm happy because he's happy. And I believe, that's what real Melanphoria means. It is a love disease that is caused of loving a person wholeheartedly." I said with a sweet and sincere smile on my lips while a teardrop is racing on my cheek.

Tsuki sighed.

"What's your plan now? Seeing how dejected Osamu-san when he left earlier, I don't know what's going on his mind now."

I laughed sadly.

"I don't know, Tsuki. When I saw his expression earlier, I couldn't help but cry. He looked like he's ready if ever I changed my mind and get back with Bokuto-san. I don't know how I will assure him that he is the one I love now."

Tsuki remained silent so did I. We just both keep on sighing every now and then until our friends came back with a dejected look on their faces.

"He said he's home." Atsumu said but even though there's a hint of irritation on his voice, his eyes expressed worry for his twin.

"He said he will come back here, but I guess he's not." I said sadly that made Atsumu looked sorry for what his twin did but I just smiled at him.

"I'm sorry, Tsumu...for making your twin feel unsecured." I said that made him shook his head.

"It's not your fault. It's not Bo-kun's fault. If there's one who I wanted to blame for him to feel like that, it's your former teammate, Konoha. If he didn't go to Samu's store and stir him up, I don't think that he will be affected that much if he saw you and Bo-kun today." He said with despise that made me confused.

"Why? What did he do?" Atsumu looked surprise on my reaction.

"Samu didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Atsumu sighed and called his twin, stupid. "I did not hear everything but when I went to his store, Konoha was there telling Samu that he should just give you up because there's no way that you're in love with him. He said that Samu is just your temporary happiness and that Bo-kun will always be your world."

I feel my blood boiling in anger because of what I heard. I don't know why Konoha keeps on ruining my relationship but whatever his reason is, I won't forgive him this time.

"Let us take you home. For sure he's waiting for you. We'll drop you off." Tsukishima offered that I gladly accept.

And on our way home, I am filled with anxiety because of what Samu would say. I feel guilty of course, because I didn't run after him earlier. But I didn't regret talking to Bokuto-san for the last time because finally, I can truly start over.

I can love Osamu better.

That's why I want us to have a serious talk. I want him to tell me the things that he and Konoha talked about that made him have those expression when he saw Bokuto-san and I earlier. And also, I want to tell him what I feel.

That he's the only one I love now...

That I'm completely over with Bokuto-san...

That he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with...

That he is now...

The brightest star...

In my new world.