Konoha 2

There is a pain that even time can't take.

A kind of pain that even smile can't fake.

And there is only a certain person that could make you feel that excruciating pain and utmost happiness both at the same time.

The person who has the power to wound you deeper to the bones,

That could scar you forever.

And no other person could bring you,

Those exact feeling, at the right moment.

Those exact happiness and pain, at the same time.

And that person, is the one you have truly entrusted your heart.

Selflessly. Devotedly. Endlessly.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" I asked Akaashi that totally ends the deafening silence between us since we left the pub that we were in. He glanced at me but immediately took it back when our eyes met and like nothing happened, he just continued walking.

I tried not to get affected on his reaction, but I failed. I failed to oppose my heart from skipping a beat. I failed to stop my lips from smiling. And on top of it all, I failed to secure my heart that just keeps on falling for him.

I couldn't take away the smile from my lips. I'm too weak when it come to him. Just because he looked at me, just because our eyes met for a second, I melted. He made the block of ice that is covering my heart for the past years that I've been loving him one-sidedly is slowly melting. It was replaced by a temporary happiness.

Yes, temporary.

Because I know that any minute now, it will be taken away from me. Any minute now, I will be engulfed by sadness.

Sadness that is brought by the painful truth.

"No. Why?" Akaashi asked in a voice that is as cold as the breeze brought by the night of December that cut off my mind from wandering somewhere else.

I'm just thankful that he's walking ahead of me so he won't hear the deep sigh that escaped my lips because of the bland question he asked.

"Nothing. It just feels sad to know that you don't really believe to the things that I believe in." Just like to what I believed that you will love me just the same.

I said and just keep the last set of words to myself, while still trying to hope that he will stop and look back at me but I failed because he just continued on walking further away from me as if he didn't hear a thing.

"I guess it's really true that our world won't ever meet." It's too late to hide what seemed like to be a sad song, that escaped my lips. And even my whole body is in tune with the negative emotions that are totally and slowly swallowing me.

Again, I felt miserable while I tried to suppress the tears that is starting to welled up in my eyes. I took a deep breath before I had the courage to stop from walking. From following him. We're in the middle of our destination that would totally end our relationship. I think that the time I spent to this illusion of mine that he will love me, that he will come to me, that he will choose me, is enough. I think it is the right time to face the truth that he will never love me like how I love him. That he will never choose me. And just like a story and a song that ends painfully or happily, ours too... It also has to end.

Akaashi stopped from walking and faced me that I've been wishing for since earlier. Because since I told him all my sins, he never looked at me again. I even ready myself to face his wrath but all he just gave me is a blank stare.

He sighed and looked at me coldly.

"Why? Just why do you have to believe in absurd things? Why? Do you think that if I do, in our next life our places will change? That in our next life I will be the one who will do the same thing you did to me? Is that it? You know what? I won't! Even in our next life I won't do such thing just to make the person I love come to me." He said without even an ounce of hatred to his voice, as if even being his most hated person, he won't give that title to me.

"No-"

"Stop it, Konoha!" He cut me off as if for him, nothing that comes in my mouth will make sense for him.

"Even in our next life, I won't love you. I won't come to you." Akaashi slapped me with the truth.

The truth that he whatever I do, he won't look my way.

The truth that I never ever get even into the door of his heart.

The truth that totally crushed my already broken heart, when I found out that he run away to someone else when he left Bokuto.

The truth that I need to wake up from my long and deep slumber.

The truth that our chapter has ended, even though it has never started.

I laughed bitterly before I looked at him sadly. "I don't want you to run after me even in our next life Akaashi. I just want you to see me. The me who loves you so deeply and selfishly. Just like what you feel back then for Bokuto."

His cold expression softens a little but his words aren't. "You will just hurt yourself if you keep on doing it. So, please stop it already. I can't love you, Konoha. I only see you as a friend so please just forget me. And please, stop bothering me." He said before he left without even letting me tell him the things that I still wanted to tell him.

I remained standing on my feet and just watched him leave. Tears dropped in my eyes one by one as I watched him slowly walking further away from me without even looking back at me. I couldn't even move to run after him because I know that whatever I say, it won't get through him. I won't make him look at my way.

"Akaashi Keiji..." I whispered his name in the air before crossing the road with the only thing on my mind was the few memories we had together.

Following by a loud crash and my body being thrown off in the ground, was blood flowing from my body. And as I continued to stare at Akaashi's back that is now hard to be seen from where I am...

A sad smile cracked my lips, and in my mind, over and over again, I keep on shouting the set of words that I had never been able to say to him until my eyesight went completely dark.

I'm sorry, I loved you.