His First Love

"Do I look nervous?"

I blurted out. My cheeks turned red instantly.

Why do I feel like I am having an anxiety attack?

Felix chuckled before saying "Not exactly. You don't look nervous but rather like you're thinking too much, your face looks flushed."

I rolled my eyes at him

"I do NOT blush easily"

  He laughed and replied," Of course you don't, but you've definitely blushed a couple of times since we got in the car."

   "That doesn't prove anything".

I looked at him with an annoyed look on my face. I wasn't gonna admit this, but it was true.

This boy was messing with me and I didn't even understand how. 

Felix put his hands in between us and rubbed mine reassuringly. I looked up at him feeling calmed and relaxed. This simple gesture helped me more than I expected. He looked at me before asking" Do you hate me?"

I was confused. "Huh?"

Felix continued "I mean, do you hate spending time with me?"

"What? No! Never!"

"Then I hope I am right because ever since I met you, you have been avoiding me and I don't like that. If I have done something wrong please tell me and I'll make sure I fix it."

I was speechless "N..no it's not...it's not you, not really"

I paused for a while.

Felix squeezed my hand tighter and gave me a soft smile

"If I'm bothering you, you can tell me and I will stop" He was sad

   He let go of my hand and I grabbed it, pulling it into mine. I took a deep breath "Look, it's not you. And there is no way you will understand. You wouldn't want to hang around a girl like me"

He looked at me and raised a brow "Why? Because you're lesbian?"

A gasp escaped my mouth

"NO!!! I...."

Felix chuckled

He looked at me with a warm smile before placing a peck on my forehead, surprising me and leaving goosebumps all over my skin.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself"

After saying that, he looked me straight in the eye "I promise, I won't judge you no matter what. it's just that I could not help noticing that you are into girls which is kinda cute to me and it's probably the reason you don't want to hang around with me"

He looked at me softly and caressed my cheek with his thumb

I smiled softly at him then sighed and looked out through the window,letting him talk, because I'm afraid I might do what I am not supposed to do, which is opening the door and walking away.

   I did not realize that he was going to see through me. Not that I hate my sexuality but I don't always want a guy who knows what I am to always stick around after knowing the truth. 

  "I really do like you. The first time I saw you three years back you came with a friend of yours, I had wanted to talk to you that day but I did not have the courage. I waited several days thinking you would show up but you never did and when you showed up again after a long period of time, I wasn't going to let you slip off my fingers again." 

I gasped silently as I listened to him in shock.

  After a few seconds, I turned to face him.

"Felix, there are lots of girls who would want to date you. Give them that opportunity, don't waste it on a girl who would not appreciate or understand your feelings.

   He stared deeply into my eyes without blinking a single time. A shiver went up my spine, I felt as if he was reading my mind and everything about me.

I cleared my throat and shifted my attention to anything else other than him.

  "I don't care and I don't want anyone but you. You can't tell me who to love, my heart chose you and I am going for you, you can reject me million times but it will not stop me from wanting you"

"Felix-" I started but he cut me off.

"Just listen to me, okay? I have loved you for a long time now and you were my first love and you always will be. But, it's not my place to ask you to love me back. But please don't ask me to give up on you." He pleaded with his eyes still locked onto mine. I stared into them wondering what kind of emotion they held.

  I started to protest but the words did not make it past my throat before he locked his lips on mine.