Chapter 116

"What happened in there?" Scott asks, his voice barely an audible whisper. He looks at me through emerald green eyes.

I don't give him an answer right away, as much as I just spend the next five minutes looking straight at him. My brother is practically everything I could have ever hoped to be, I don't mean the stunning array of beauty that lines his face, or the sparkling green eyes that catches everyone's attention. I talk about the parts of him that the normal eyes cannot see.

That assured stride he always portrayed in his steps whenever he was walking. That confidence that he seemed to portray in each and every situation. The way he can just have fun and laugh when the situation calls for it, but yet can be as much of a wuss as you could have ever imagined someone should be.

It seems Scott has gotten his life all figured out, well, he's done it pretty well enough for him to know exactly each and every part of himself.

I don't think I know myself that much. I know the unsure girl who is afraid of letting love into her heart once more due to the reason that it is broken four times now.

I know of the girl who still mourns death of her parents silently, even if it's been practically four years now.

I know of the girl who has lost yet another person that she loved to something so inconsequential, well I don't think it's really that inconsequential anymore. I realise exactly what would have happened if I had given Aron what he had wanted.

I would have seemed cheap and without dignity. I would have been the girl who didn't even put up a fight to retain something that she saw badly wanted to keep, but instead, the moment he asks for it, would have given it to him no hassles and all.

I almost wonder exactly how other girls do it. How do they bring themselves to the sort of mental resolve that would allow them to hand over their bodies to someone else?.

How did they bring themselves to the point where they place their whole mind and body in front of another person, and yet are still not sure if they are doing the right thing?.

That sort of an experience would make me go mad. It would make me go mad knowing that I had given Aron practically everything in me, but yet he would still be catching side glances at other girls.

It would have made me run mad knowing that I am giving something of such precious value to him, and he would later end up seeing me as cheap and irrelevant.

Oakley comes back into my head, her and the broken nature she had worn this morning. I'm not really sure if that was brokenness or regret. It seems she had known about this all along.

She had known that the guy she gave everything to had been cheating on her, and yet she did nothing, trying to make herself trust him and not believe tye rumors that were going around about him.

Scott snaps his fingers in front of my face.