Chapter 121

"Are you afraid?" I ask him and the startled gaze that finds it's way into his eyes shocks me. It shocks me deep into my bones.

"Why would you be scared of talking to me?" I ask in hushed whispers and i can see he's looking at me warily, like I was taking all his hesitation at actuqlly talking to me the wrong way, but his nature betrays him.

The little i know about Scott should suffice me enough to know that the minute he gets nervous, he simply ignores whatever is makong him feel that way. My brother Is never the scared and unsure person in front of me and i wonder exactly what would make him like this. 

What would be making my brother so scared of actually talking to me. I decide to do something o would have never ever done in my life. I show gim exactly the parts of me that are hurting. As much as I'd like to deny the fact, the simple truth is that I true. I don't think I ever felt the sort of hurt I was feeling now ever before in my life. The feeling that my own brother cannot trust enough to actually talk to me about something that's bothering him, shocks me deep to my bones, it shocks me and it hurts me. 

It hurts me more than i can Imagine that my brother would actually not want to talk to me and instead feel scared about it.

 I can hear the scraping of a chair on the floor, as Oakley gives both of us a confused yet sympathetic look and takes her leave. It would seem even her taking her leave is something of a welcome reprieve, as now I do not have to let tears fall out in front of my best friend.

 I do not let you have the tears of pain fall out in front of someone who is probably already in pain herself, and whose heart is still shattered. I seem to have the faint notion that Oakley looking at me crying would only bring more tears to her eyes, and so I am thankful for the decision that she has taken.

I am thankful that she has decided to excuse herself while I look at Scott, and wonder exactly why he is not trusting me at this moment. He is not trusting me, his sister, the one who should have been his best friend ever since he was born.

 I realise now that the hurt I am actually feeling is from not being there enough for him to trust me with things like this, whatever he's hiding, I am sure it is precious to him, and it pains me that he would not think I would be able to cherish it as much as he would.

 The question of exactly what he's hiding still nags at the back of my mind, but yet I do not want to pay it that much attention. If I paid that much attention to that, it would only go to hinder exactly what I am trying to figure out.

 Scott wraps me in a hug as I realised the tears were already falling down.