Chapter 23

I didn't go home yesterday and slept here at my Aunt's condo--no, my Mom. It was my first time so I spent my night with her. It's Monday so I got ready to go to school. I took a shower, put on a uniform, ate breakfast with my mom. I kissed her cheek and left the condo, I drove to school and when I arrived I parked the car in the parking lot. When I entered the room, Ash was already sitting on her chair, I smiled as she came to sit in my seat, next to her seat.

"Good morning, Nyx." She greeted.

I smiled, "Good morning, Ash. How are you?" I asked.

"Well, I'm okay. How about you? Your boyfriend was waiting outside earlier and looked for you, I told him that you weren't here yet. Didn't you catch up with him? Did you fight?"

He waited for me? Why? I cleared myself when I said we were going to end our relationship, but why hadn't he given up yet?

"Nyx? Hello? I'm talking here, oh? Are you daydreaming?" I was cut off mentally when Ash spoke.

I just smiled at her and shook my head. Our professor entered just in time so she didn't ask again.

When our whole class was over I went to the parking lot to go home but I was shocked to see Vaughn standing and waiting for me next to my car! When he saw me, he immediately came and grabbed my wrist.

"Nyx, let's talk please."

I can't describe his face! His eyes were swollen as if he hadn't slept for days. Is he always awake? I feel bad, again.

I walked to my car but he followed and blocked my path, "Please, talk to me. Let's talk, love. Let's fix this, please."

I also want to fix our relationship Vaughn but this is not the right time for that. I still have many problems I'm facing, about the marriage, about me and Franz living together. There are so many, my brain is a mess. I didn't answer because my tears were rolling down my face, I passed him again but he blocked my path. I was annoyed to face him.

" I'm going home." I said coldly. It hurts so much for me to hurt you Vaughn so please just stop. Don't chase because I'm more difficult.

"No. I won't leave, I won't allow you to leave without us talking and fixing our relationship." He is stubborn.

I sighed, "Vaughn, please stop doing this. You can't fix anything." I said calmly. Please understand Vaughn.

He clenched his fist and looked at me in disbelief, "I will get tired but I won't give up. I won't give up on you, just let me explain to you and we'll fix it. Please, Don' t tell me I'll get tired of you because that will never happen," he shed tears and looked away

"Please, I need you right now. Let's fix our relationship, love." He continued.

"There's nothing to fix, Vaughn. I've cut it off. I-Im breaking up with you."

"I have rights to decide because the two of us are in this relationship. I don't want us to break up so please, let's fix the--"

" But I don't want it anymore. I don't want it anymore, Vaughn. Stop it, please."

"Is that because of Clea? Nyx, I'm telling you, no one intervenes in the am---"

It's not about her.

I cut him off, " It's about me. I'm tired already, Vaughn. Just.... J-just give up already and let me go. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's cut it off." A tear started to fall down my cheeks as I said those words.

I lied. I don't want you to give up, I don't want you to let me go. I still want to fight, I don't want to cut it off... I want to be with you forever. I'm so sorry if I was selfish, this is also for you.

I left there and left him alone. I drove away and went home. While driving, my tears continued to flow. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean what I've said. I didn't mean anything, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Vaughn. I'm really sorry. I wish I could tell you my reasons, I wish I could tell you how much I hate myself for not telling you...

When I entered the house, I met Franz in the living room reading the paper, so I passed him and entered the room. I sat down crying when I entered the room..

Why do I have to feel this pain? I don't deserve this... I deserve happiness, why can't they understand that? Why they always choose their business over their own daughter. Why? Just why?

I'm angry, I'm angry at myself because I'm so weak. I'm angry because I can't fight. I just let them do what they want and I hate myself for that. I wiped my tears when someone knocked on the door, I stood up to open it and Franz's worried face appeared to me.

"A-are you okay?" He asked, worried.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked and he nodded, "To be honest I'm not okay. I'm tired of fooling myself that I'm okay, I want to cry and shed all my tears because of the heavy weight I feel, problems that have come , sadness and disappointment in myself. I'm tired of being strong and I'm not even strong." My voice broke as I started to cry, again.

I feel my body giving up...

"Actually, I'm not good at giving advice but I can be your 'I'll just listen'." He laughed so I smiled too.

I was shocked when he HUG ME! YES! HE HUG ME... "I don't know what to say, maybe a comfort hug will do?"

It's 8pm and we're here on the terrace of the house looking up at the sky. The stars are beautiful, I want to join them. For sure, Kuya is there among those stars.

"Franz." I called.

I felt that he looked me from my peripheral vision but I was still looking at the sky, "Hmm? Why?" He asked.

"What do you see when the night sky comes? I randomly asked.

He thought more before answering with a smile and looking at the sky, "I saw my dreams whenever I see the stars... Something about them seems so dreamy that I can't stop staring, no matter how hard I try to.. "I looked at him but he was looking at me.

"Maybe because you taught me that the stars represent you.." he added.

"Me?" I pointed to myself and he smiled and nodded.

"Yes. You. I have always dreamed of you," his eyes are full of emotion, "One day I will stop dreaming about you, but the sight of the stars always makes me dream that I might not be able to forget you." He said without breaking our eye contact!

Is he confessing?

I couldn't say anything, I understood what he was saying but my brain seemed to go blank!

"I... I'm sorry." That's all I said and left there and ran back to my room.

What was that!? Why is my heart beating so fast? This is not how I felt about Vaughn before... That feeling that something is wrong? That's exactly how I felt about Franz.

Is he saying that he likes me? But, he knows that I love someone else!

I just walked to my bed and took my phone. I opened my Instagram and checked my messages... I was expecting someone to chat me, and that's him. I viewed a story on Instagram and stopped when I saw Malvin's Instagram story. It's a video of Vaughn holding a guitar.

"He's broken," said Malvin's voice in the video.

Vaughn strums the guitar and closes his eyes, "You with the sad eyes.... Don't be discouraged, Oh I realize..." He sang.

He continued to strum the guitar while closing his eyes, "It's hard to take courage, In a world full of people... You can lose sight of it all, the darkness inside you, can make you feel so small.."

''Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, Can't remember when. I last saw you laughing. This world makes you crazy, And you've taken all you can bear, Just call me up, 'Cause I will always be there.... And I see your true colors, Shining through, I see your true colors and that's why I love you..''

It's my first time to see him sing. I thought he didn't know how to sing? His voice is beautiful, his voice is so manly.