Forgiveness

....

Dear Deep,

I know I was never good to you. I betrayed your dad, I betrayed you. I was blinded by money to think straight. I know it is too late to say all these and even it doesn't matter now. But I am sorry. I know it my apologies doesn't matter either. But I am sorry. People do male mistakes, not all of them are forgivable. I know mine was not mistake, it was crime. Crimes can never be forgiven. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. But I want to do something for you, at least for once in my life. I am at my death bed. I am going to die. If that day didn't come, I wouldn't have known I loved you, even if it was for a second. I loved you, my son. I will send my husband and my brother in law to help you, because they can do it. Maybe that's the first and the last time, they will meet you. Please don't refuse them.

I could never be a good mom, neither a good wife, maybe not even a human. But I bless you, become a good dad, a good husband, bless your wife to become a good mom and wife and bless my grand daughter to become a great human. In this day, you can find many successful persons, but an actual human, it's rare. I bless her to get all the purity of the world. And at least don't let her know about my crimes. Please, at least keep one person in your family who won't hate me.

It's time to say bye. But I just want to say one thing, mom missed you, and she loved you, maybe .....

Yours ever,

that mom who's your sinner

....

Deep pressed the paper tightly. He didn't know why it hurt him when it shouldn't. He understood maybe he loved her too, not as his dad's wife but as his mom. No matter how he much he hated her, a piece of love was still prominent for her always. He cried more than anything. He didn't know why he couldn't control himself.

Anand who was sitting opposite to him looking at his tears without a blink. His life was not much better than his. Was his dad really sorry like this? Did he try to approach him because of his guilt? He even tried to approach Raunak, Drishti and Avantika to meet him but no one helped. He didn't know why his heart was a mess. Maybe the though of his dad's death was making him afraid. What if that man was really guilt? but did that made his mistakes fade away? Never...

"Deep, did you love her?" He suddenly asked in a low voice. Deep was looking at him for some seconds not knowing what to say. He himself didn't know was it a yes or no.

"I don't know." He replied truthfully.

"Then why are you crying?" Anand asked in a daze.

"I don't know either." Deep laughed a little at this. Seriously he didn't know anything. That woman helped him in the crucial moment of his life to proof her guilty but that never lessen those bad deeds what she did to his dad. Why did he fall weak like this?

"Does it hurt?" Anand asked again. Deep smiled this time wiping his tears. He understood why Anand was asking all these. Maybe his life showed Anand a path but he was in a dilemma to walk on it or to return.

"It hurts. It really hurts without any reason. I don't know why I can't be happy. Maybe it was the connection what a mother has with her child. I don't know why it hurts. Maybe it's not as bad as my dad's death. Maybe I cried a lot more Mitali or Drishti or Rajiv bhai. But still it hurts." Deep didn't want to hide his emltions anymore, "I know what you are thinking. But if you think you should meet him, then don't delay. Rajiv bhai's death taught me one thing, life is unpredictable and time is not something we can catch. So if your heart says yes, go for it."

Anand parted his lips but no words came. After thinking for a little more, he nodded, "Help me to buy a ticket. You know rich people get it almost without any effort."

Deep didn't know why his words made his heart lighter. He didn't go home because he didn't want Ragini to see him distressed at least at this moment. Drishti and Raunak went to the investigating officer of Rajiv's case. So Deep thought to meet Anand.

"You know I hated you once. Everytime gold digger started to help me in business, you call made her leave me with work load. I thought you as a rival then." Deep said with a smile.

"I didn't think any better of you. Every time Dri started to help me, you needed to eat something. So she used to leave those works on me. You were another name of my hatred then." Anand never said that to him but he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Wait, she left you because of me, she left me because of you. But she was really never with us. What did she do all the time? How many works does she have?" He was getting confused.

"That girl! She fooled us. She used to manage her own businesses in Germany then. Aishh! We are late learner." Anand felt a little betrayed.

"I can feel you, man." Deep mused. They even though themselves as rival. Was it too much? They never shared any relationship more than brother and sister. Heck!

.

.

Bangalore

Anand landed on the city. It was the city he was born. It took him so long to return here but maybe he didn't return forever. He was just here to do something he left before.

He hurriedly went to MI Industrial office where Amal Mehta was in a board meeting. Even Avinash and Asha were there. But to his disappointment, no one inte office knew him. Eventually if someone recognise him, they could recognise as a driver.

His damn luck!

"Can you please call Amal Mehta, here?" He again pleaded to the receptionist. He didn't want to give his real identity there, at least when he was determined to let everything go forever.

"Sir, please. I can't do that. He's in a board meeting. Please try to understand." The receptionist was frustrated. Anand was thanking himself he was not in that so called driver attire or else they would have sent him the door already.

"Tell him, Anand Mehta is here." He said with a sigh.

The receptionist wanted to day something but remembering the surname Mehta she stopped and dared to call him in the middle of meeting. Sure enough Amal Mehta, Avinash and Asha was there within two minutes.

"Anand, you came to visit me?" Amal mehta was surprised. He found maybe he was living only for thus day.

"Yes, Mr. Mehta....well....dad." Anand's heart was breaking a mountain of complaints and anger. Yet it felt so warm.

Amal mehta couldn't control his tears. He cried in front of him, in front of the whole office. Those curious gaze from each employee made Anand feel awkward. Biting his lips he started, "Well, dad. I'm sorry. I must say I've forgiven you, even for calling me a bastard. But only as your son. Blood is thicker than water, so I have a soft corner for you. But when it comes to my mom, I can't figuve you. You did wring to her, sorry, I am holding it back."

"I forgave you, you don't need to feel guilty anymore. I came to donate blood because if some unspoken affection. But don't hope for me to return here or to take a single penny from your company. I can't do that. I can't stay there when mom had no place. And I'm sorry to say, Kartik uncle is next to my dad, I must say he is my dad to me. Kaushik is like my brother. But that's doesn't mean you are nothing to me. Come to my house if you ever come to Kolkata. Avinash, Asha, you are always welcome, remember me when you need. You can join me in any festive or anything. Call me often, let's get in touch. Yet dad, I'm sorry, I'm leaving your world forever. I won't come to see you anymore, please understand, that's my respect to my mom. okay?"

After a long speech he looked at him. Amal Mehta was happy, at least he forgave him. That was more than enough. He knew what he did to Gora didn't worth forgiveness. He understood if Anand still held it back.

With a sigh, he said, "One last request, can I hug you for once? I even forgot how it felt."

Tears also rolled down from Anand's eyes. It hurt so bad, yet it contained a warmth that he missed, "Okay!"

The hugged him, so tightly. He was close to him maybe for the last time. So that's how a dad felt!? But he couldn't stay here forever, right? Because his mom didn't get any place in his heart. He had to leave.

After letting him go, he hugged Asha and Avinash a little.

"Take care and be successful in business. I really don't understand anything about it. Law student facts, so not giving any suggestions. You have my prayers." He smiled at them.

He wanted to say a lot of things. But no words came. Before they could create a conversation, he got a call from Maya. Knowing he was in Bangalore, she asked to meet urgently.

"I need to go now. It's urgent." He said and hurriedly went there. He didn't know why things in Kolkata felt more urgent than his own family. Maybe because they have him the love, his family never could.

Reaching Maya's office, he found a tensed Maya sitting there with a frown.

"What happened?"

Maya looked at him one then at some papers, "I rechecked the data of Dhara and Drishti's case, Rathindra's case and professor Joseph's papers. Now I found something really suspicious. Maybe you all skipped it because of rush."

"What did you find?" Anand asked in a shaky tone.

"Do you know why Drishti married Raunak?"

"Yup, because her parents requested."

"Really? Her parents thought she was not good to them. Even before Raunak solved everything between them, they didn't even call her. Why would they bother to arrange her marriage?"

"What do you want to say, Maya?" Anand also thought it but never found it so important.

Maya looked into his eyes, "Sanjana was Raunak's mom's psychiatrist, right? Can you arrange that file for me?"

Anand nodded, "Let me call Aditya."