His Feelings ( She Is Special )

The special Program?

  What is he talking about! I looked at him saying nothing.

  "This will be my last year and I want to create our song!" Chan Hyung smiled and with excitement looked at me.

  "Then let's do it!" I said simply. As I know Chan Hyung can do whatever he wants.

  "Then you guys join me too!" He said with smile.

  "You order and we are always with you!" I answered.

He smiled! Saying nothing!

  "So! What are we doing?" I asked. Showing my eagerness.

  "I have a plan !" Changbin Hyung entered. He was listening but since when?

  I smiled toward him. And Chan Hyung too. He sat between us.

  "We five are already here, and two of new are to join. We seven can have our original song! What you guys say about it!"

Making his space between two he explained.

"Who?" I asked.

"Me, You, Bin, Iyeni, Hyunjin our first group and now Han and Lee know!" Chan Hyung answered.

  "We are creating our song?" I asked.

  "Yes!" Chan Hyung answered.

  "Han isn't that boy of our class. Who is only freind with your class one!" I asked.

  "Yes! He is! He is quite a thing you know!" Changbin somehow screamed in my ears.

  "Okay okay! If you both agree who would I be!" I said.

  "But Chan Hyung, from your class there is only one person! Why?" I asked him.

  "They are already preparing something from there juniors!" He answered.

  "So you guys are playing groups this time." I laughed.

  "I guess! It is quite a thing that they are asking for favorite group!" Chan Hyung laughed.

  "And we are Chan Hyung's favourite!" Changbin Hyung laughed.

  "Then isn't that Lee know person have his own group?" I asked.

  "He only knows you, Jeongin, Changbin, Hyunjin and Han!" Chan Hyung counted.

  "Aren't they the one in your group?" I asked.

  "That's exactly why we are collaborating!" Chan Hyung laughed.

  "Then are we really only this much?" I asked.

  "Yes, if you really ask whom I want are you guys!" Chan Hyung answered.

   Changbin Hyung was already flattered that Chan Hyung consider him as favorite.

   "Then Hyung!" I broke that few seconds silence.

   "Can we add Eunsoo in our team?" I asked.

   Even if Chan Hyung don't know her, he can be close in no time. And as Hyunjin and I are already included. She can be too. And I remember she never talked with any senior!

   I was scared what will Chan Hyung say. But was hoping him to say yes.

   "The girl from your class who is close to Hyunjin?" Changbin Hyung asked.

   I was about to shout. I'm too, close to her! I looked at Changbin Hyung with angry eyes.

   "What, people in my class saw Hyunjin and her every weekend hanging out!" He said.

   "Hmm!" I answered.

   "I would like to meet her first! Then only I will decide!" Chan Hyung said.

   "What's to decide!" Changbin Hyung said.

   "Let's help Hyunjin being close to her!" Changbin Hyung laughed.

   "Hyung!" Without thinking I just screamed.

   "What?" He screamed too.

   "They are not that close!" I somehow maintaining my composure said.

   "Why you have to shout then!" Changbin Hyung scremed.

   And our conversation continued.

   Later I found Chan Hyung looked for her. Asked about her. And mostly to me, hyunjin and Han. And he decided to let her join.

   But we found out news already spread. As for other it didn't. But for Chan Hyung, Chan Hyung being almost everyone's favourite, everyone wanted to be in his team.

   And we decided not to talk about special performance in front of others.

   If a confusion we made descision to set two performance. Once of us separate. And other with everyone who wants to join.

   Chan Hyung didn't wanted to break anyone's heart as it is his last year.

   And when the day came when everyone was talking about Social performance, Hyunjin took her to Chan Hyung to finally introduced her.

  When I asked Chan Hyung can she join or not, he smiled and said, "You should treasure the person, your loved love treasure the most!"

  And with that I understood she will be in our special performance.

  At that day we went for so called Audition! Chan Hyung just wants to scare them. None of them will be told to get off. But he still wanna do this things.

  I asked my group to join me. As I wanted my girl to join me.

  I sat behind Chan Hyung giving my girl her favorite window beside her.

  I can't ignore her habit of staring at sky when she founds something bore. She usually do it in class. And as in audition may be it will really take a lot of time and she needs her enjoyment.

  I sat beside her. Here comes ChaeWon! She will cause problem for me. Of course I want to tell everyone but still I can not be that much careless.

  Changbin Hyung entered with his powerful aura. Those clouds over her head began to darken. I wanted to tease her a little.

   I got close to her. And in ear whispered. There was no need. But I wanted to know how she reacts. In that corner looking so tiny. I couldn't help but tease her.

  Her ears went red. Might be burning! She stared in front. She wanted to shout I guess. I didn't wanted to scare her. But the clouds over her head again, I guess confused. Showing every weather in split moments.

  I saw her eyes went normal in no time. She was clinging her fist so tight. But eyes giving look that nothing happened. I followed the gaze. Someone was looking at her. And she showed no sign of being embarassed! Or rather say scared or shock.

  A person in front was looking at her. He turned but I he was trying to look at her again. As I saw him I became angry. Why I was, I don't know! But I want that person not to look at my girl. He turned. And then I saw my shy girl just sitting there with red face.

  I understood, she was shy!

  Then again I spoke and she turned red. With that weak heart of her, Changbin Hyung shouted. I guess his voice made eyer every brain cell react.

   I felt like laughing. She quivering a little. Hand firm clunged tightly. I wanted to pinch her cheeks.

   Before I could think my hand raised up. And I unknowingly patted her. How do I restrict myself? I was looking at her red cheeks and ears. When my hand moved, I dont know!

   She was shocked again. But not shy! Her thoughts over her head were completely gone. Again into nothingness. I was scared.

   I was scared of this day from very start. When I'll loose control and she will again think of me as nothing. And now it happened.

   What should I do! Should I say sorry. It won't be good.

    I took my moment to calm myself. She was like a blank paper now. Nothing written at all. She was staring from person to person. With no thoughts.

   That nothingness bothers me so much!

   I spoke to her. Without topic. In tone to calm herself down. But she was already calm. With nothingness! But I need to bother her. In order to let her know I'm here. And she returned with her clouds of spring.

   Every one of them come and passed by. I was knowing this means nothing. I kept my eyes over her. Her excitement and her embarrassment.

   She is so expressive. And I want her to give same reactions to me.

   Finally the time came. Everyone left. Bongcha and Chaewon too.

    It was my turn. Well it didn't needed yet, when I saw her getting excited I didn't wanted to lose my face in front of her.

    I walked at front. Everyone was looking at me, questioning what am I doing.

    But she was there waiting excitedly, what will I do.

     I did nothing but the way I always greet my team. 'Pang' , the finger heart gun.

     And she was again blurred out. Nothingness! What! This even can't be counted! This is my charm! And she thinks of it as nothing!

     I was screaming inside while Changbin Hyung screaming my name hugged me. And Hyunjin too.

     What will make her to realise I'm here. I was sad. Sadder! Saddest!! Why!

     I should stop doing this things now.

     She stood up, questions on her face.

     She wasn't knowing exactly what's going on. And those clouds returned.

     Chan Hyung and Minho Hyung really made fun of her.

     Talking about nothing. Well we promised to keep it secret. But at least she have to know.

     I looked at Chan Hyung why isn't he saying anything. Then Minho Hyung! But they were busy doing there things. I turned to Changbin Hyung motioning why aren't they speaking. And he gestured me to shut.

     And then she spoke. With curiosity and anger. Just like I feel everytime when I see her think of me as nothing. Yeah, I can read those clouds of her. The cloud of neglecting.

     But I was feeling sad for her. I was about to talk when Changbin Hyung gestured me again not to talk.

     And I saw her clouds getting ready to burst. I guess everyone will be demolished once she allow those clouds to strike. Finally when Jeongin came I saw somehow her anger went down.

     He spoke to her and she smiled. They teased her to that level that I really saw her getting angry. She left with Hyunjin with those anry clouds and butterflies from Jeongin.

    I asked Hyung, but I found Bong and Chaewon was outside that's why they didn't talked much. Now it was on me to tell her about group.

    And I agreed. And went to follow them. When I reached they were already gone. I texted Hyunjin where they are and he said on next Street.

    I went there they were about to get start. I saw clouds over her head somehow getting calm. And I saw Bong and Chaewon were worried. The thing about Assistant! Oh I forgot.

   She is real assistant not the one that are only named. But what can I do. I sat beside her. Her springs cloud were on their way. And she was happy.

    But I was feeling bad as for two times today she thought of me as nothing. I guess I need to make her think about me more.

    When we were about to leave. I thought of paying first. But that will be too exaggerating. Then I should buy her chocolate.

     To erase that nothingness I shall rewrite her thoughts. I want to make sure she remembers me even with slightest memory.

     I bought one but wasn't sure to give her. But when we walked outside I gave her saying 'foryou'. She was shocked. Then again comes the nothingness.

     Just what in the world is that nothingness! And why it kept arriving only when I'm around.

     It makes me angry evey time. Not angry but restless. I'm scared and I'm confused. Seeing that sky above her get empty. I again sank in deep despair.

     We moved. And the nothingness turned into spring sky when we talked with them there for few minutes.

     She was walking alone. Hyunjin went to tease her. He was meant to tell her about her role, but he loves to tease first.

     I went with them, as I don't know how well he can explain.

    As the matter continues, she was confused then angered. And not just anger she was looking like she will cry. She don't know on whom she can take out anger so she will just cry?

   Hyunjin, I'll make sure to remember this. Don't tease her. I stopped her. Said it in clear word. Not playing with words.

   She nodded. With my every word. Her eyes on me. With nothingness again. But her eyes giving me hint she is devoted. She is listening everything. And her nodd reminding me she is responding.

   But what with that nothingness in her sky?

   She understood. But I again felt as left out.

   Does she understood that she is meant to be special for our special group?

    I was sad! Seeing that nothingness arriving more and more these days. What am I doing wrong? I just want to make my presence in front of her. Today it was alot.

   I was scared she will forget about me. What should I do her to remember about me?

What should I do!