Chapter 14

"I just don't want to be punished for helping me…"

Renneshia was surprised by her sudden answer.

Her mouth is moving out of her control. Her head hurts so badly and she feels unbelievably sad. She could be heard her voice cracking as she answered the maid apprentice's question.

Renneshia feels her emotions gushing out and feels as if her heart is being squeezed and twisted inside.

She know that such feelings were caused by their kindness and she believed that it will give her a lot of trouble. But some parts of it herself wish to be able to get their warmth and kindness.

Renneshia knows that she needs someone to help her in this inhuman and hell-like mansion. But she didn't want to cause them any trouble, especially when she run away from this crazy place.

Renneshia doesn't want to become someone heartless that repays their kindness with trouble or something that would harm or even kill them.

As she keeps feeling conflicted in her mind, her sight starts to become blurry.

'Why do my feelings get more chaotic the more I try to push them away?'

'Why?'

She keeps questioning their kindness because she knows about what would happen to Renneshia if she keep staying in this mansion.

As she will die in the future because of the Heroine or when she knows what kind of hardships I have to face as Renneshia or being treated like something worse than trash.

In her memory, usually, this kind of thing will end in creating two kinds of possibilities if she's able to change her fate. The first one is to be able to make them to love her. It was something she often read in her past life. The second one is the possibility of the Heroine having some power to manipulate the other so she needed to find a way to neutralize it.

But both of them are only something she read in novels or comic books. She didn't want to bet her life on those possibilities. Because she knows that she is currently living in this world.

That's why she chose to endure everything. From the unreasonable bullying they did to her, to the fact that she was too afraid of dying again.

Every time she endure their unreasonable behaviours, she keeps telling herself that she should not angry or sad because of it because she was an adult in a child's body.

'Don't get angry, keep your poker face. Right, I'm an adult.' Renneshia unconsciously keeps repeating it in her mind like trying to self-hypnosis herself.

But currently, she couldn't endure it again. She was confused with herself and she feels like a mess. 'Even if I'm being reborn or remembered my previous life memories as two years old child,...why do I feel like this?!'

Renneshia at this moment because of her confusion. She forgot about what she learned in her past life. Even if she tried to avoid her emotions, it would become a stress and would one day explode when it got overloaded in her mind.

Because even she told herself to endure it and be indifferent to whatever they do to her, she never thought that it would cause more stress to her. Her goal to leave these damn places couldn't be done in a short time.

The maid apprentice was flustered because of Renneshia's sudden outburst. She started to feel guilty about mindlessly talking about what she said to her. She didn't know about Renneshia's condition and she feels as if she unconsciously diss her with her words.

Actually, she thought Renneshia was trying to steal something. But as she followed her to her room, she realized that she was someone who lives in this mansion too. Renneshia's room is located in a place where even the other maids rarely come.

Along the way, she kept watching Renneshia's appearance. She has a small stature, pale face, and skinny body and she wears an old dress that looks almost like slave clothes in this mansion.

The maid apprentice tries to remember about what the Head Maid and her seniors told her but she doesn't know about her.

The maid apprentice was stunned as she saw Renneshia's expression clearly right now. She didn't realize it when they walked together as she was following her from behind. But she could see it right now.

Renneshia's face is red and she seems to be suffocated as she breathes heavily. There are tears in her eyes and her voice cracks.

If others saw the current situation, they most likely would think that the new maid was bullying Renneshia. That's why the maid apprentice started to panic and want to stop her from crying.

"I-I'm really sorry! I didn't know about your condition. I apologize for my rudeness. Please don't cry." The maid apprentice is flustered as she tries to stop her from crying.

The maid apprentice remembered that the little child in front of her introduce herself as Ruach's family member. Even though she lives in this prison-like room, she is still part of this mansion owner's family. That means she has a higher position than her. She feels more trouble as she thinks about the consequences of making her cry.

It didn't make her stop crying but cause her to shout at the maid apprentice in front of her.

"Why do you help me?" Renneshia shouted.

"I don't want you to get hurt because you help me."

As she raised her voice, the tears keep dropping from her eyes.

"I don't want to hurt anyone."

Her throat feels like it was burning as she started to raise her voice.

"Don't help me."

Renneshia didn't know that she was unconsciously keeping her chaotic emotion ever since she was able to remember about her past life memories. Her current condition makes her become more sensitive. As the maid apprentice was showing her some normal reaction it made her unable to hold the bottle up emotions and it started gushing out.

It was not because Renneshia don't want to get any help. But as she made herself to endure the abuse that she got from most people in this mansion, she was getting weak when someone is showing her their kindness.

"It's much better if you act like the other servants."

"Don't be kind to me. It's annoying! You just make me feel more guilty..."

Renneshia could not stop herself from crying but the more she poured out what was in her mind, she felt more suffocating feeling as if something was squeezing her chest.

It was something that happened because she was always a good person even in her past life. Sometimes she was being told that her kindness often hurt her as she always prioritize other people rather than herself. This was the reason of the people around her always feel frustrated with her reckless behaviours.

Even in her current condition as Renneshia, she only thinks about not dragging other people to make them help her to run away from this crazy place. That's why she decided to push them away when they started to show her a bit of goodwill.

"Just leave me alone!!" She shouted loudly while crying as she pushed out the maid apprentice's hands that trying to hold and comfort her.

Renneshia suddenly collapse after unconsciously pouring out what she was thinking. The maid apprentice was panicking as she hold her small body before she fall onto the floor.

"She's hot!" The maid realized that Renneshia is having a fever. Her body is hot and her breathing is very heavy.

Before she could take her to her room and lay her on her bed, someone came closer.

"What did you do to her? Why does she was in that condition?" Someone around the same age as the maid apprentice came with an expression that would become the maid apprentice's nightmare in the future.

"I-I didn't do anything. Please believe me. I don't know why she started crying...ugh...maybe it was because of my thoughtless words." The maid apprentice tried to explain her innocent but as she remembered what she was saying to her, her voice became smaller as she feels guilty.

"Hmm!? Just tell me what happened while we let her rest for now."

At first, the person who was coming was glaring at the maid apprentice but when he touched Renneshia's face, he realized that she was sick. That's why he decided to take care of her first while listening to the maid apprentice's explanations.

Both of them took turns to take care of Renneshia until she woke up. As they talked about what happened, the maid apprentice feels more uncomfortable as she couldn't stop the person who was glaring sharply at her to stop it.

He suddenly opened the door. "Take care of her. I will be back after I finish my work. I will also get your lunch." He said and leave the room.

The maid have a blank expression as she realized it was lunchtime.