Confused Beau

Beau dragged his legs, eyes lowered to the ground, as he walked to his room.

As usual, the students he met on the way offered greetings. He did not answer.

Never in his entire life had he gotten worked up over someone. He knew it wasn't Asher's rejection that disturbed him. He just couldn't place his fingers on it.

Yes, Asher seemed to excite every part of him. And yes, he wouldn't mind fucking Asher—in fact, that was one thing he craved. And fucking yes, he couldn't seem to take his mind off Asher!

"Argh!" Beau pulled on his hair, tugging the strands until his scalp turned sore.

He quietly walked into his room. It didn't come as a surprise to see Jay going through a book.

"Hey, Beau!"

"Hey bookworm," Beau drawled. "You're reading?"

"How did it go?" Jay asked, evading the question in excitement. He jumped off his bed and landed on Beau's, directly beside the confused male. "Tell me, did you guys make up for whatever misunderstanding that happened at noon?"

"Sometimes I feel like I am cursed."

The smile disappeared from Jay's face. He scooted closer to Beau. "Shut up. What are you saying? Did something happen?"

"Why does it always seem like love runs away from me?" Beau asked softly. His eyes were fixed on a portion of the wall on the other side of the room. "I thought I was too forward. I thought I pushed Asher too far. But..." He palmed his face.

"Beau, talk to me. What happened?"

"He wants us to be friends."

"Ooh... Well, that's not a bad thing. It will be a stronger romantic bond if you are friends with him first, you know, get to know each other, go out, and have fun. Is that why you look this way?"

"He called our kiss a mistake. He said it was a lustful attraction, something that shouldn't have happened."

Jay's face creased into a frown. "He said that?" His brows furrowed. "Wait... I thought you said the both of you kissed each other. Was he under some form of duress?"

"Oh, come on. You know me too well, Jay. Why will I threaten a guy to kiss me? I would never do that."

"I never said you can do that. I am just trying to cover all possible reasons why he is behaving the way he is."

"I even apologized," Beau lamented, remembering how his mood had been elevated after hearing Asher apologize, thinking that they could start over on a fresh page. Well, they had—just not in the way he expected. "He apologized too. I thought everything would finally be okay. He just... He just—"

"Beau, that's okay." Jay pulled him in for a hug. "You will find the right person for you. I am very sure of that. When that person comes, he will love you just the way you deserve to be loved. Pay no attention to anything people do that hurts your emotions."

"Maybe I'm not meant to love anyone."

"Beau, you are going to make me punch you in the face." Jay pulled back with a frown. "Why would you even say something like that? You will find someone that loves you. When that person comes, you will know."

Beau hugged Jay back. "I hope the person comes fast. I am almost going crazy."

*. *. *. *.*

It was exactly as Asher predicted.

He couldn't sleep.

His conscience continuously tugged on his emotions to the extent he scooted off the bed and sat on the balcony. The moon and stars offered him companionship, but he still felt empty.

Even the night view over most parts of the university and neighbourhood did nothing to calm him down.

He could not get his mind off the look of hurt on Beau's face. Asher had not even thought about what he said to Beau, because if he did, he might have changed his mind. And he had almost done so before walking away.

Asher wrapped his arms around himself. Things were not supposed to go the way they went considering the attraction he felt for the ambassador.

And that was another part that scared him. A hunch kept whispering to him that their unity would not end well.

Another part of him wanted Beau badly. It wasn't just because of how hot the ambassador looked. It was the way Beau stared at him.

Asher had never seen eyes so sincere in his entire life. Just one look from Beau told him all he needed to know.

And that was what Asher wanted—no, needed. Someone to hold him close, soothe him, and manage his moods. Someone to tell him that everything would be okay... Someone to love...

All his life, Asher had always prayed for someone to give him all the love he missed—and was still missing. He just wanted to feel that warmth, that giddy feeling of happiness that love could bring.

And Beau seemed a great potential, but Asher wasn't ready to welcome that.

He grew up to hear his father scream at the TV, pointing fingers and spitting in disgust, whenever anything about same-sex relationships flashed across the screen. That was the main reason he refused to tell anyone about his sexuality. He didn't even tell his mother who never said anything during his father's homophobic outbursts—it wasn't like she even normally uttered a word whenever he spoke.

Asher could not deny the attraction he felt. Heaven help him, he had been unable to take his mind off Beau from the moment they set eyes on each other.

Maybe it was as a result of his homebody lifestyle, Asher had never seen someone so hot. In fact, he had never gotten so turned on as he had for Beau.

He could not take his mind off the ambassador. Going close to Beau was impossible. The thought of pushing away from Beau was also impossible.

Asher could not pretend about how confused he was. He could not even put his mind in a place.

Late into the night, Asher went back to bed hoping he would get some sleep.

He did, but it was very short.

Early the next morning, he was up, blaming his short night's rest on jet lag.

By the time he was done preparing, the sun was out, streaking soft rays of light across the horizon.

Asher was already halfway to the chancellor's office when he remembered that his door wasn't locked. Beau had warned him to make sure the locks were firmly in place before he went out of his condo.

Beau...

Everything around him reminded him of Beau. As much as Asher wanted to ghost himself, he knew he would still stumble on Beau at one point or another.

Almost at the speed of light, Asher ran back. As he raced up the stairs, his hunch told him something was wrong.

And he knew that hunch was right when he found the door opened a crack.

A scent hit him. It was the beautiful fragrance of masculinity and something akin to coconut and flowers.

Immediately, he panicked. Had someone entered his condo?

The first thought that struck him was to run straight to Beau and bury himself in his muscles or scream for the need to be protected.

Asher did none. He didn't see himself running to someone he pushed away for help anyway. Summoning courage, he steadied his heartbeat and slowly pushed into the room, walking on his toes to prevent making any form of sound.

The scent came again.

This time, closer than before.

Asher's heartbeat accelerated. Fear pumped into his blood streams. He rounded the corner that led to the sitting room.

Just as he turned, he bumped into a hard figure.

Asher could not control the yelp that tore out of his throat. Strong arms reached out to steady him.

Asher found himself pressed against hard chest muscles, a tight hand was thrown around his waist.

He screamed...