what’s this feeling

Flashback

"Can we still be friends?" Rìan said

"We were always friends, maybe we should have remained that and a lot would have been avoided but it's not too late," she said with a smile

"So you guys talked"

"Yes time heals, we are friends again he apologized and though it can't change the past at least I won't let it ruin my future. My past might not be proud of me but I hope my future will be, knowing I didn't deprive it of the chance of being happy"

"Aileen just like Rian has found love again I hope you too love again"

"I will but will love accept me??" she thought

Rian went to Mika to confess his feelings

"You love me??"

"Yes Mika so much, you have always been there when I needed you, I know it took too long but you still waited for me I apologize for all the pain I put you through for loving me," Rian said

Mika hugged him, she was so happy

But Julius was in so much pain

"Are you okay Julius" Nina asked

"I want to be okay but I am not, Nina it hurts a lot will you help make the pain better" he said and hugged her

"You came to me after a long time," Nina thought

"Yes I am going to make it better," she said

"Please do, it hurts a lot," Julius said hugging her very tightly after a real he got out of her arms

"Sorry and thank you," he said and left for his room

"How could I think it was possible, he's your first love and probably be your last. Although it hurts I will keep my word I will be there till you no longer need me" he said as he saw Aileen's call

"Hello Julius, can we meet tomorrow? I have a lot of things to tell you, I am so happy" Aileen said

"Ok. Uhm Aileen I am a little tired can we talk tomorrow," he said and hung up the call

"I should be happy when you're right? But why am I not? I'm such a bad friend" he said as he struggled through the night

In the morning

"Are you ok?" Nina asked

"Yes thank you for yesterday.... Uhm Nina can you forget about everything I said yesterday?"

"Is your pain better??"

"I said that because yesterday I was in so much pain and about the things I said I don't know how you understood it but I shouldn't have said that after all, you're not a magician to take pain away," he said

"Ok" was all Nina said

"You can't take this joy away from me," she thought

Just then Aileen's call came

"I have to leave," Julius said and left

"Julius can we meet," Aileen said

"Not today, I have a lot of things to do"

"Ok," Aileen said and hung up

"I am sorry but I can't talk to you right now, I know you're going to tell me about Rìan, and at this moment I can't be happy about it but as a friend, I should be happy for you, let me sort myself out first," Julius thought

For a week Julius had been avoiding Aileen again, she went to his house but Nina told her he wasn't around so she left, she called him countless times but he was not answering

"Something wrong again," sel asked

"Yes, I don't know what I did now but Julius has been avoiding me again"

"Let me call him," Sel said

"No, it's between us I will sort it out"

Aileen went to his office

"Sir have taken two weeks off," his assistant said

"He's not home, he's not at the office too where is he?" Aileen wondered

She sent him an audio

"Julius please where are you? I am very worried about you. Did I do something wrong again? Please forgive me if I did but please don't leave me, you promised you were always going to be here. Julius this time I am really scared I can't even see you please come back" she said

She was so sad and tears just flowed

"Sel I am so unlucky no one will stay"

"Don't say that"

"I can't help it sell, I haven't seen or heard from him for two weeks which is unlike him, Even when I wanted him to stay away he was always there he never left so what happened now, how can things change like that now that I realize who he's to me"

"Maybe he's just busy and has traveled"

"Before He never went anywhere without telling me, sel I am scared"

"Nothing bad has happened to him"

"I know sel, I know he's alright. I heard Nina talking to him the other time I went to his house"

"Then what's wrong?"

"I am mad, sad and angry, he's not picking up my calls and he's not talking to me. I used to be his everything but since Nina's returned everything has changed I didn't think it would get this far that he would stop talking to me, we were fine a few weeks ago. I am very angry and…..and

"Jealous???"

"Yes maybe I am, I am losing my position in his life and I can't take it. It hurts so much"

She cried in Sel's arms

"I am going to call him again"

She called but there was no response so he left a voicemail

"Julius please I am in pain, I am hurting please come back to me"

Julius listened to all her messages and held his heart

"I am hurting too Aileen but I needed time for myself to come to terms with reality, I am sorry for hurting you"

"You love him don't you," Sel said and Aileen broke into tears

"Yes I do, I couldn't tell him, I thought I would be ok but that was because I was the only one in his life but now that Nina is back I am scared of losing him. I love him but I can't have him, I can't even tell him"

"Oh Aileen"

"How unlucky I am with love," she said