Full Harem

Narrator-POV:

An entry bell chimes when the hero and his fellowship walk inside the local eatery. It is the dingiest diner in the city, near the southern edge of Eterna City.

Inside are a few booths to eat in relative peace and quiet, as well as a bar with stools in front of it.

A plump woman with bright orange hair, blue eyes, and a freckled face greets the newcomers. "Good morning, dears. Welcome to 'Cheap and Tasty,' where everything is both cheap and tasty. Please have a seat. I will take your orders soon."

It is the most typical rural diner imaginable.

Fancy-schmancy Swole would have never stepped a foot inside if Akari did not seem so interested. Of all the places in the city, this is the one she has looked forward to the most.

"Would you look at those prices? It truly is cheap." Saliva drips from the corners of her mouth at the thought of food within her budget.

"... Didn't Swole's dad give you a bunch of money?"

When they sit down, Marley hurries to get the seat furthest away from any strangers that could pass by them.

"He did."

Or worse: they could try and talk to her.

"But I do not wish to use that money selfishly. It is a loan for building the town."

"... What about all the money we earned on Route 218?"

"What if I need more money for the town? I shouldn't spend recklessly."

Ash and Barry sit nearby, loudly talking with each other while Brock stays attentive. He nods towards Akari before shooting a glare at Ash. "That is the responsible thing to do, Akari. Money is clearly better off in your hands than in some people at this table."

Ash is too engrossed with Barry's retelling of his newest training success to notice the jab.

"Don't worry about money, Akari." Swole caresses her hand. "As long as I am around-- Hm?" A commotion stops him in his tracks.

"I can't believe he scammed you both!" A pink-haired woman slams a nearby table. Frustration and despair are written clearly on her face. "We worked our butts off to mine all those treasures, and he just runs off with it after leaving us with a pittance!"

"Isn't that..." Swole recognizes the grating voice and the impossibly shaped pink hair.

"He scammed you too, you know?" A comment by a blue-haired man before he sighs. "I'm just surprised you know what a pittance is."

Jessie shakes her head, frustration growing into fury, smacking the pokemon to her left with her unusually long hair.

"Me-owch, watch your hair, Jessie! James is right."

Swole couldn't see him because of the booth's backrest, but that voice is too unique. It was the Team Rocket trio's Meowth!

"Girls," Barely seated, he gets up again. "I'm going to talk with a few acquaintances. Feel free to start eating without me. Akari, I'm paying."

With silent, unassuming steps, he crosses the diner to slide into their booth with his little army of pokemon following closely behind.

"Hey! Who the frick are you, huh?!" Jessie is right up in his face as soon as she notices the newcomers.

James reels her back. "Careful there. That guy's pokemon don't look all that friendly."

"That's one of the brats! Meowth! I recognize him!"

Swole Solo lets them finish complaining and inspects them in the meantime.

"Can't you see that we are taking a break right now?!" Jessie slams the table again, making a tiny bowl of rice with egg jump up with it. "Leave us alone, twerp."

Swole remembers what Barry said of them. They are harmless but stupid.

And so he shakes his head to deny them. He won't let them off the hook.

After a pause filled with silent and confused seething, he speaks.

"What does Team Rocket want with the Adamant Orb?"

"Adamant Orb?"

"Jessie, it was the gigantic gemstone we tried to steal just a few days ago. How did you forget that already? We even got chewed out by the boss because we messed up the other team's operation because of it."

Meowth just facepalms as James rattles off the secret information in front of the brat.

"I'm pretty sure that means you don't know what is going on." Swole lets out a good grief. "Does the name Black Tulip ring a bell?"

"That's that broad of a woman who always gets the important missions from the boss." Jessie taps her chin as the infuriating memories resurface. "I think her number is 009, right?"

"Meowth, that's right! I still remember how the boss used to pet me - before that stupid Persian took my place - and Agent 009 would always enter the room unannounced to tell of her successes." 

Meowth finishes his little bowl of food. "Those were the days!" His stomach growls.

"Gulp." James swallows equal parts food and nervous saliva as his skin pales. A bead of sweat runs down his face. "I heard a rumor that she killed her own brother after he messed up a mission. Chopped him up and made his own pokemon eat him."

Meowth and Jessie stare at their companion, unable to believe the cruelty they heard.

Jessie pushes her food away. "I think I just lost my appetite." Just moments later, her stomach growls like a wild beast. She pulls her bowl closer again. "I can't waste good food."

"Here, Meowth, you can have some of mine." James puts the rest of his into Meowth's empty bowl.

It has been a while, but once again, Swole Solo must deal with the dilemma of interacting with poor people.

The pitiful sight only gets worse when the plump redheaded waitress clears the dirty dishes before asking if they want anything else.

"No." Grrr

"We're full." Grrr

"It was very tasty. Thank you very much." Grrr

"Good fucking grief." The hero with a bleeding heart cannot take it any longer. "Get them some more food, please. I'm covering their tabs."

"Will do." She has a rough, slightly slurred voice, reminding him of Zoey when she gets drunk. "Anything for you, sir?"

The woman pulls out all the stops. Every bit of pleasantness she can muster fills her voice. She even bends lower to tease him with a tiny look past her neckline.

"Nothing for now. I wanted to eat with my fiancée once I'm done questioning those three."

Jessie's hair whips up and down as she nods. "And we will answer!"

"As long as the food keeps coming." James agrees.

"Meowth, that's right! Cheap food is great, but free food is the best!"

The waitress stalks off with their orders on a piece of paper. Once she is alone, she takes a disappointed peek down her décolleté. A few years ago, she could have made him spend hundreds with that trick.

Swole questions the trio as the dishes stack up. 

After just a few minutes of his interview, he comes to the realization that Barry was right. Harmless and stupid.

Their grand plan to steal the Adamant Orb would be to send it to their boss to get recognition and a money bonus after he sold it on the black market.

Eventually, after a near-endless stream of questions that they did not know the answers for, they broach the topic of their most recent escapades.

"We tried taking the pokemon of the other twerpettes." Of course that is what they tried.

"Did the twerpettes have names?"

But Jessie just shrugs. "I don't bother remembering the names of brats and spoiled children. It was the blue-haired brat and the red-haired brat with a missing arm."

"Hey now." James chastises her. "Don't be so mean to Dawn and Zoey. They have been through a lot."

"Meowth, that's right. I still feel bad for trying to steal their pokemon that day. I'm glad we changed our minds."

"Well," Jessie looks out of the window while bracing her head against her arm. Her face briefly becomes angular, as if drawn in a manga panel. "We only changed our minds because we needed their help to get past the Sparrow flock, who would always Peck our balloon apart."

"Right." James does the same, except he faces the ceiling as if he could not be bothered with the here and now. "We didn't have pity with them. We're hardened criminals. It was out of necessity that we helped them."

"Meowth... that's right." The pokemon wipes away a stray tear before assuming a pose and becoming stylized. "It wasn't because Zoey bawled her eyes out as soon as she saw us."

"She bawled?"

Meowth grunts in confirmation. "I want to be powerful and feared because of it! To finally show it to the humans who left me behind... Not hated because we are annoying."

Both Jessie and James move their heads with the barest of nods.

"In that case, I am grateful to you for helping my girlfriends when I couldn't." Swole slides them a 50₽ bill. "You guys really don't seem so bad. Don't forget to feed your other pokemon."

Our hero gets up from the table to pay for their food just as he had promised.

At the counter, he notices that the prices are actually really cheap, just as advertised.

In the end, despite the towers of plates and bowls, it was not even a price worth mentioning.

His own stomach growls when he finally sits down to eat. He only finds Akari in their booth, petting Rufflet in her lap. 

"Hey, Swole."

Rufflet turns around on her lap to let Akari scratch underneath his thick coat of feathers.

"Hi. Where did everyone else go?"

"They have finished their meals and decided to venture into the city."

"You didn't?"

"I decided I would eat with my fiancé. So I have not ordered my meal yet. Have a seat, dear." She pats the spot right next to her.

"... You're the best waifu."

---

Swole-POV:

Knock knock knock

Someone is bothering Akari and me during our lunch.

Some really fucking annoying asshole has the audacity to knock on the window while Akari feeds me a bit of her ramen noodles. Somehow she got it even though it was nowhere on the menu.

I bet it's Barry or Ash on the other side of the window. As soon as I turn around, I'm going to give whoever it is a piece of my mind.

"Oh! Dawn?! And Zoey too?"

The blue-haired, angry-looking girl mouths something on the other side of the window.

I can't read lips, but if I could, I would probably understand that she said, "You asshole! What do you have a phone for if you don't use it?!"

And then Zoey's lips would say, "Come on, Dawn. Just look at that dumb, ignorant grin on his face. He can't hear us. Let's go inside before the whole city hears that our neglectful boyfriend has his phone on do not disturb whenever it's convenient for the story."

Which would then prompt me to check my phone and realize they tried to reach me in order to find out where I am.

But alas, I can't read lips.

The bell over the entry door chimes, and my beautiful girlfriends walk inside. Dawn ahead with an angry look on her face while Zoey looks just slightly annoyed.

"There you are!" She continues complaining even after I get up to hug her. "We had to search through half the city to find you, and then we only found out where you are through Barry!"

"Hi." Zoey seems slightly surprised when I give her an equally intense hug. "We missed you."

"I missed you too. How are you doing, Zoey? Come on, sit down. I'm sure you both must be hungry."

"Hey! Why are you only asking her, and not me?! I broke my ankle, you know?"

Jessie, James, and Meowth already told me a lot about their misadventures.

"If you have the energy to be a tsundere, then you must be doing alright."

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?!"

"It means, get your ass over here. I missed you too, dummy."

"You're the dummy!" She says before seating herself beside me. I push my gaggle of pokemon to my right side, so the girls can stay at my left.

Except. "Iep!" Dawn squeaks when I push her up and on my lap. "Pervert! I'm wearing a skirt! You can't do that!"

A memory of Mars pops up when I put my hands around Dawn to rest them on her thighs. The thought prompts me to give her neck a nice, long, tender kiss.

"Mwua." That's going to leave a hickey. Heh. "Sure, I can. I'm your boyfriend."

Akari chuckles when she sees what I was doing. Zoey just smiles slightly, still stuck in her mood.

"Zoey, do you want the same treatment later?"

Her eyes dart towards the slowly reddening spot on Dawn's neck. "Nope. I'm good."

She's gonna get it anyway.

"Don't even think about it."

She will only leave this building with at least one hickey. Maybe two or three.

"You can't sneak them on me. I'm not as oblivious as Dawn. My sisters told me all about boys' tricks."

"Hey!" Oblivious Dawn complains, still ignorant of the mark on her neck.

"Yeah? Did they also mention that boys are stronger than girls? And that you can't really prevent it if I want to?"

She chuckles. "That would be sexual assault."

I just grin.

The waitress chooses that moment to return to clear the old dishes before selling us even more food.

Zoey follows my recommendation, getting the fried egg with extra egg and bacon.

Dawn orders herself a cheap salad with sunny-side-up eggs.

The waitress reiterates that all dishes are cheap. Not just the cheap salad. The diner takes pride in their theme.

The girls dig in. Even though watching them eat is in and of itself fairly entertaining, eventually, it gets boring. "So, do you want to tell us what happened? How did Dawn break her foot?"

Zoey answers with a full mouth. "She fell-- ouch!"

There is a commotion under the table.

"What she meant to say is that we got attacked by an angry pokemon. I broke my ankle during the escape. So, really, it was your fault I broke anything."

My fault? "Me?!"

"Yes. The tough future champion should have been there to save us."

Dawn's story doesn't match what Team Rocket told me. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am right." She smiles proudly. "I am always right."

They fell while climbing, got lost in a cave, had a panic attack when they saw Team Rocket, and then relied on them to leave the valley in their hot air balloon.

Dawn continues. "But nooo, our tough boyfriend just had to go spelunking, only to get caught up in a cave-in. What happened to you?"

"Eh. You know. The usual. Saving the world via convoluted, nonsensical means, stuff like that."

"Ha. Ha."

"Alright, haha. I'll tell you. It all started when I fought a horde of Diglett that was just slightly too strong for comfort. Salandit used Ember, and apparently - get this - there were explosives down there! ..."

They continue their meals while I retell my misadventures since then and show them the pictures I made along the way.

Most pictures came out bad because of the low light.

They learned about the various pokemon we encountered - except the pokemon who shall not be named. I never met it. It does not exist in the wild.

I showed them the pictures of the temple where I used Riolu for scale. "It was really that big?!" The altar was like 10 Riolu stacked on top of each other.

Sewaddle pokes her head out of my clothes once her part comes up. The brave little caterpillar who facilitated our escape.

Blood drained from Dawn's face and became ghostly pale when I told them of the ghosts within Eterna Forest's mansion.

I didn't have it in me to tell her the gruesome details.

Then I told them about Domino and Team Rocket's ploys within Team Galactic.

"Wait, why does Domino sound like I should know who that is?" Once again, ignorant Dawn interrupts my story.

"She is the woman who abducted you on the M.S. Anne. I saw her in the city a few times, but only realized that it was really her when we were in the historical museum."

Wait... didn't I capture a pokemon in the historical museum?

I completely forgot about it because of my spy mini-adventure!

It was my emergency pokeball, right?

Where did I put it... ah. Still in my pocket, next to the emergency potion.

I press the button... and nothing comes out. The ball is empty.

"What are ya doing?" Zoey saw me fiddling around with the pokeball.

"I caught another pokemon, but I don't know what it is."

Everyone looks at me weirdly. Even Akari, who was there when I captured it.

"How do you not know what you captured?" Dawn says.

"It must have been ghost pokemon."

"Is it the same pokemon who is in your shadow right now, according to Misdreavus?"

In my shadow? Did that pokemon break free and follow me the whole time without noticing?

Akari shrugs. "I thought you were aware of the Banette who accompanied you."

"A Banette?"

The pokemon peeks her head out of my shadow after being called out. Red, wicked-looking eyes, gray pelt-like skin, and a golden zipper for a mouth from which wisps of darkness escape.

She looks menacing and evil. However, she pokes only her head out as if being shy. Perhaps her looks are deceiving?

Didn't Rupert say they had a Banette for a household ghost in their mansion?

Suddenly Dawn's pokedex starts talking, scaring Banette back into my shadows.

"Banette - the marionette pokemon. Banette generates energy for its strongest curses by sticking pins and needles into its own body. This pokemon was originally a pitiful plush doll that was thrown away; strong feelings of hatred turned it into a pokemon. When it opens its mouth, cursed energy escapes."

An abandoned puppet who came to life through hatred?

"Are you... Mary's puppet?" She doesn't respond. However, it's the only thing that makes sense. "Why are you following me?"

"You said," She sounds like a sadder, more exhausted version of little Nina. "You said you were going to look for her. Sniff. I just want to go back to her."

Her voice appeared in my mind like a wiggling worm. It skipped my ears, going straight into my brain. Is that what telepathy feels like?

No... Mesprit used telepathy. Perhaps this is the ghost version of it?

Doesn't matter. "Don't worry, Banette. I will find Mary."

If only there was some clue on what happened to her. All I know is that Victor ran off with a device that was supposed to drain her soul or something like that.

He could have gone anywhere in the world with it, and it could have been moved within the hundreds of years since then.

"Good grief. I really have way too much on my plate. I don't even know where to start."

Akari holds my hand across the table. Meanwhile, Dawn looks at me funny. "Your platter is empty-- Hey! Don't flick my head."

She rubs the sore spot on the back of her head.

As for my overfilled plate, there is one thing I can handle right now instead of pushing it further into the future.

I remove Dawn from my lap to shimmy closer to Zoey, who slowly sneaks off at the same time.

Too slow. I grab her good hand before she could run off.

"Uh oh." She gulps down the rest of the food she was eating. An innocent smile is on her face. "Come on, Swole. Don't do me like that."

Her smile falters when I slowly shake my head.

"You don't have to do that, Swole. We can both walk away from this without any altercations. Don't escalate it."

They haven't told me the truth about their little adventure underneath the bridge connecting Eterna City with Oreburgh City.

Dawn fell down while climbing up a mountain wall.

Zoey helped her recover and took care of her.

They got lost in a cave where Dawn found and captured a Beldum, even though her foot was still broken.

When Team Rocket appeared to steal it from her, Zoey broke down crying.

Just a few days later, they act tough, like nothing special happened.

"I do need to do this, Zoey. You're not leaving me any choice."

If she wants to act tough, then I must act tougher.

"Ah!" She yelps when I suddenly pull her arm with my aura guardian strength, shoving her on my lap. "No, no, no!"

I bite her neck, right in the shoulder muscle. "Ahhh!"

My voice comes out slurred as I gnaw at her skin while tickling her sides. "Yoth fuggles ar ufless!"

But she's screaming and laughing too much to hear me anyway. "Ahahaha! Stop biting! Ew! Haha! That's gross!"

She fails and struggles, trying to escape, slipping around on my lap, but my hold is too tight. I turn her around until she looks up, facing me with tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Stooop! Ahahaha! I'm gonna pee maself!"

The bite mark is obvious from any direction, so I let up for a moment.

She pants and sweats; her hair is disheveled.

But most importantly, her smile is bright.

"Do you concede?"

She twitches, probing for a weakness. I simply tighten my grip on her shoulders.

After another short tickling session, the words "yes," "I give up," and "I surrender" finally come from her lips.

Her ragged breaths tickle my face.

Her flushed face invites me to do more.

Her thin lips look like a delicious delicacy.

I press a long kiss on her mouth, suckling on her lips before switching to her neck.

Front and center. Close enough to her chin, so she can't cover it up.

When I release her, she looks up at me with a pout. "Are ya happy now?"

I throw it right back at her with the cockiest grin I can manage. "Are you happy now?"

One hand rests on her toned stomach, the other brushes through her fiery hair.

Her eyes dart around the diner booth, searching for support in Akari's or Dawn's faces, but only finding their amused smiles and laughter.

"... Yes." She relents.

"That's great. Then I am happy too."

---

The diner's entry bell chimes a goodbye when we exit fed and happy.

With my whole ha-- harem. Holy shit.

"What are you grinning about?" Dawn asks when she spots my expression.

For the first time, my whole harem is united.

I ignore Dawn, pushing her into a good place near a fountain. "Let's take a picture."

Zoey joins on her own, and Akari participates once she realizes what's going on.

"Lopunny, can you stand on that step there?"

A few more pokeballs pop open, and the other pokemon join as well.

Akari's mouth falls open when she sees the sheer number of powerful pokemon we command as a group.

The smaller pokemon stand in the front while the larger pokemon loom over us from behind. Some - Salandit, Sewaddle, Rufflet, Glameow, and Dawn's pink Wormadam - are all somewhere climbing on or being held by their respective pokemon trainers.

Misdreavus, Zoey's Mothim, and Dawn's Beldum float or flutter above our heads.

"Riolu, can you take the picture with Confusion? You just need to hold the phone steady in the air and then press this button right here once we are all ready."

She nods before taking control of my phone.

I return to my place to stretch my arms around the girls. Dawn and Zoey on my left, and Akari on my right.

"Everyone ready?"

"Not- urgh. Quite." Dawn wrestles with Mawile's jaw.

A furry pair of arms wraps around my neck before Lopunny rests her head on my right shoulder.

"Let me help you." Zoey is just about to move out of my reach when the flash of the photograph lights up.

~"I didn't push the button." Riolu comments before the phone floats towards me.

Have fun. A small, invisible pokemon shimmers briefly before disappearing completely, dropping the phone in my outstretched hand in the process.

"Wait! That can't have been it!" Dawn still has Mawile stuck on her leg. "I wasn't ready!"

But the photo is perfect.

Akari and Typhlosion were chuckling at Dawn's antics. Both held their hand or paw in front of their mouths to hide their smiles. However, their eyes betray their mirth.

Zoey stood between me and Dawn, bending over to pull on Mawile, who was stuck on Dawn's leg. Prinplup looks away as if it doesn't concern him.

"I love it."

Banette can be seen poking her head out of my shadow between my legs.

"Lemme see!" Zoey laughs when she sees it. "It's perfect! Hahaha!"

"Nooo! I look so stupid in this picture." Dummy says.

"I like it as well." Akari then looks a little closer. "Why are you and Lopunny looking at each other like that?"

"Like what? Looks normal to me. I don't know what you mean." Ahhh! We look like a flirting couple making googly eyes at each other! "I think I was just startled when she suddenly laid her head on my shoulder."

"Makes sense." Dawn comments. "I was also surprised when Mawile bit me. Anyway, it does have its charm. Can you send me a copy, please?"

"Of course."

While sending it to all of my harem members who have a phone - Lopunny is the only one who doesn't have one - a name in my contact list stands out.

Gardenia is still waiting for a call to set up our gym battle.

After setting a reminder to schedule my battle in the evening, we begin walking towards the park to continue training with Barry and his gang.

But then...

"Swole!" Speak of Darkrai and he shall appear. "There you are, Slowpoke!"

He and his gaggle - plus Marley - appeared.

"Hey, guys - and Marley."

They greet me back. 

Brock carries a Happiny in his arms. "Brock, did your egg hatch?"

"Hmhm. Just a few moments after Zoey and Dawn left to look for you." Brock holds her out like a trophy. "Look at her! Isn't she the cutest? Look at how shy she is!"

The attention is too much for Happiny. She hides her face behind her tiny, stubby arms.

"Congratulations, Brock. But is she healthy? Isn't she missing the white egg near her stomach?"

Brock shakes his head. "Happiny are born without them. They collect smooth, oval-shaped rocks that resemble the eggs that Chansey would carry in their pouches. And Nurse Joy helped me check her vitals. She is perfectly healthy."

"That's amazing, Brock." Dawn approaches. "Can I pet her?"

But Happiny shakes her head.

"Sorry, Dawn. She only lets me touch her for now."

"Heh. Just like Riolu. She also only allows her daddy to pet her."

Brock puts his hand on my shoulder. The widest grin is plastered on his face. "Isn't it great?"

My own arm reaches to grab his shoulder. "Fatherhood is amazing."

We nod at the same time.

"Just enjoy it while you can. I noticed Riolu stopped calling me daddy already. They grow up so fast."

A tear rolls down his face. "I know. I used to have a Togepi, but she chose another trainer right after hatching. Anyway," He clears his face with his free arm. "We came to say goodbye."

"Already?"

I didn't get to do anything with Barry. Not even a little bit of drinking.

Barry seems to have read my thoughts. "Yeah, man. It sucks, but we have a huge trip ahead of us, and I can't wait to reach my third gym!"

"Huge trip?"

"Straight through Mount Coronet. Team Galactic secured a path connecting Oreburgh City with Hearthome City, and they are actually paying trainers to travel through it, so we can help keep the path safe."

Whoa. That's huge. "Are you sure about that? Traveling through it must give a bunch of great opportunities for training, but it's still the most dangerous place in Sinnoh."

I know I wouldn't get toooo close. With my track record, the chances of some kind of 'run for your life' adventure are just too great.

But Route 211 seems fine.

Barry nods. "We're probably going to look for other trainers to travel with. Safety in numbers, you know? Now that there aren't any girls with us, we can actually do something like that."

"What's that supposed to mean? Huh?" Dawn stems her fists against her waist, leaning forward in a threatening display of her battle-readiness. "It's not our fault that we need to look out for creeps. Blame the perverts out there."

A scathing glare finds its way on Brock, who stumbles back. "Why are you accusing me? I'm not a pervert; I'm just passionate!"

Women are such bad judges of character. They can't see that the biggest deviant pervert stands right next to them.

"Besides, I have success with the ladies." Brock does? "Every once in a while the girls like me back. It just doesn't work out because I'm too picky."

"Huh?" Ash looks at him in shock. "You're too picky? You flirt with everything that has two legs and two boobs."

"Flirting itself just means, 'Hey, you. I am interested. Let's get to know each other.' Things might still not work out afterwards. I flirt with all the pretty girls because I want to find the perfect girlfriend to marry later."

I can't believe I'm thinking this, but Brock's mindset seems healthier than my approach.

The girls - oblivious to their own judgmental hypocrisy - don't even twitch when I pull them closer by their waists.

"Anyway, we really should get going. Our next goal is a pokemon center far away from Eterna City. We might be cutting it close even if we travel by bicycle."

They must have gotten one at that local bicycle shop. Dad told me to visit the place without letting anyone know I went there.

"Bye, bro." Barry walks up to me, ready to send himself off with a simple fist bump. I grab his arm instead, pulling him into a brotherly hug instead.

"Smell you later, bro. Be careful in the mountain."

"Not if I smell you first. And you too. Be careful on your trip."

Does he know what I'm planning? Did he spy on my notes? Did I start muttering again? I thought I got over it!

"I can read you like a book." He says while moving out of the hug. "I saw the way you looked at Paul's pokemon. You're as prideful as a Persian when it comes to people being better than you."

"My team is better."

Lopunny nods too.

"But he's close, isn't he?" Barry's eyes take on a determined look. "I know for sure my team would lose against his or Akari's. But that won't last. Next time we meet each other, my team will be on top."

When will that be? They will go through Oreburgh City to Hearthome City.

We will take the long way north through Snowpoint City and then Veilstone City.

"Where will you go after Hearthome City?"

"Either Pastoria City or Veilstone City. Don't know yet."

"Go to Veilstone City. We'll have a battle then."

A glint appears in his eyes.

"You too, Ash!"

Ash followed our conversation. "Looking forward to it!"

"Hell yeah!" Barry agrees. "Let's make it a tournament!"

"Hell yeah!" All three of us fist bump.

And then they leave. "Bye!"

We return the goodbyes until they take the road south out of the city and out of sight.

Our path leads us east. Towards the park with the Arceus statue. Training awaits.

Dawn speaks up.

"What was that about Asshole being stronger than you?" Her words cut deeper than a Scyther's bladed hands.

"He isn't stronger than we are. But he has a bunch of fully evolved pokemon, just like Akari. It would be much closer than I'd like to admit."

"It is because Marley and I battled so many wild pokemon."

I know! So jealous! "That's what I guessed. And that's why I had been playing with the thought of getting closer to Mount Coronet to train before fighting Gardenia. Route 211, to be precise."

The nearest wilderness zone is just a couple of kilometers away. Route 211 leads directly into Mount Coronet's zone.

Unlike the battles against the Diglett, there won't be so many monotonous team battles. And unlike in the Grand Underground, we can venture into the wilderness fully prepared.

Revives, potions, berries; I made so much money in Oreburgh City, it's high time to reinvest!

"Yes." I give my determination a voice. "I will go out to train soon. For two weeks."

"In that case, I must leave as well." Akari says before squeezing my hand a little tighter. "Your father messaged me this morning. The crew is ready to head out to Rootwell Town. We will depart early tomorrow."

Marley blushes slightly. "... I will go with her... Someone has to take care of her, right?"

More likely, it's going to be the other way around.

I look at Dawn and Zoey to figure out what they plan to do. Zoey shuffles awkwardly as she walks. "I don't think I can go into the wilderness anymore. It's gotten a little too scary with just one arm."

"That's fine!" Dawn hugs her. "We can stay here and participate in the contest. I heard Eterna City holds their contest every week, so we can squeeze in two attempts here."

I know Dawn doesn't want to go anywhere near the wilderness again either.

It looks like--

~"It looks like it's just going to be you and us."

Lopunny stole my thoughts.

And... it's not such a scary thought anymore. I love my pokemon, and if that love leads to more, then it's not a line I haven't crossed before. Besides, I might be the only one who does 'being a pokemon trainer' right!

Sounds like cope, even in my own head.

"Just me and my pokemon on a relaxing training trip. That does sound rather nice."

Dawn chuckles. "Just don't do anything on your little honeymoon trip that I wouldn't do."

That insinuation is spot on.

She knows.

Holy fucking hell, how did she figure it out?!

"I was joking. No need to look so disturbed about it. Hey, look at that! The park has a huge Arceus statue!"

...

...

...

And so, we spend the rest of the day training our pokemon together.

In the night, I had the same dream I had every night in Eterna City: Akari bouncing up and down on top of me. My vision blurred at the edges while her smile was filled to the brim with lust.

It lasted until I filled her to the brim with something else.

The memories of the dream disappeared quickly the next morning.

Salandit says she likes it when I have wet dreams. She likes waking up with that smell in the air.

Gross.

---

The next morning - after washing and changing clothes - we gave Akari and Marley big, long hugs to send them off to Route 218.

Even though Akari was as reserved as usual - and Marley as shy as usual - it was still very obvious that they were excited about the opportunity but also saddened to leave so soon.

Akari promised to come visit us in Veilstone City somehow, so she could participate in the reunion tournament as well. Marley got roped into it as well. Zoey made her promise to come, so she could prove her position in our friend group's hierarchy.

"I said harem. Not friend group."

Zoey became much more clingy as soon as Akari went away, much to Lopunny's frustration. The girls have been on me since breakfast, all the way to the different shops we visited to restock our supplies.

Until, "Girls?"

Dawn, Zoey, and Lopunny too look at me when I called them out.

"I'm going to need to buy a few personal items for my trip. How about you both have some fun today? Maybe relax somewhere, since you both didn't get a chance to unwind yesterday."

They look at the hundred pokedollar bills I handed them with greed in their eyes. Or something that looks just like greed, at least.

I know Dawn has her own money, but for some reason, she gets just as excited about it as Zoey.

"And another thing." I pull out a little dark gemstone for Zoey. "I found a Dusk Stone in the Grand Underground. I want you to have it for Misdreavus."

Her greedy look grows further until I hear something snap. She shakes her head violently, making her hair flutter left and right.

"I can't accept that. That's too much, Swole! First the plushy, then the real-gold brooch, and now this!? How am I ever going to repay you for this?!"

"You--" I swiftly suppress my urge to be a simpering nice guy: to say that she doesn't have to pay it back.

My father's advice sounds out in my head again.

Reassurance.

"Do you know what that means?" I put up the biggest tough-guy facade I can manage as I slowly advance right up to her, only to find out I have grown again. She's half a head shorter than me now.

I can see her swallow.

"It means you're mine until you can pay me back. In full, and with interest."

I raise her chin up to watch her face rapidly approaching the same red hue as her hair.

"Do you understand?"

She has never been so meek before. She slowly nods while still in my hold.

"Good."

Her eyes close in preparation. I place a kiss on her lips to seal her fate.

The tough, confident girl I met at pokemon school has been replaced. "I'd better stop teasing you now, before you pass out, my little cherry."

"Ch--"

She doesn't get to reply before I kiss her again.

"See you both later."

With that, I walk off, but I still hear Dawn mumbling about being so fucking jealous.

Heh.

~"Sssweet Mew, do that for me too!"

"Maybe after you evolve, you perverted little lizard."

Salandit's tongue licks my hand when I pet her.

~"Why did we separate from the group, master?" Lopunny takes up Dawn's spot at my arm before it even had a chance to cool down.

"Riolu might remember, but the rest of you were in your pokeballs when we stalked Domino--"

~"Who?" Lopunny doesn't even remember the name.

"The enemy woman from the ship. After Dad saved us--"

~"Who?"

"... My father. The old guy who tested your bravery when you met my mother."

~"Oh, him. He seemed cool."

My dad? Cool? Eh, a bit. I'm cooler, though. "Anyway, he told me to go to the bicycle store and ask for the unreasonably priced bicycle."

~"Why would he do that? Shouldn't you be saving your resources?"

"Yes. It's obviously a code for something. But speaking of the bicycle shop, there it is."

~"It's just an empty alley. And what is a bicycle?"

~"Iss there anything you do know, annoying rabbit?"

Salandit is right. The way she keeps asking is starting to get a little annoying.

~"I know that he likes to explain things to me."

Never mind. Lopunny is more right.

"Do you remember how I taught you about towels, toilet paper, and all the other stuff in the bathroom that you demolished?"

She hides her face behind her ears, only peeking out when I change the topic.

"Do you see the sign over there? It points into the alleyway. The thing that's depicted on it is a bicycle. People can ride it to get around faster."

~"Like a pokemon. You can ride me, and we would be faster together."

"I'm not riding you."

~"Why not?"

"I'm too big. There's no way you can handle me."

~"Sure, I can. I'm a pokemon, I can handle it. Besides, we did it before; we can do it again."

"Those were different circumstances. I didn't have a choice back then. But now I do. And I don't want to ride you unless strictly necessary."

Salandit starts hissing in laughter.

~"Are you embarrassed? You don't want other humans to know that you ride your pokemon?"

"What? No. Of course not. Everyone can know that you carried me when I fell down the slippery cave wall."

Applause distracts me briefly. Some artist just finished his piece, and the people are praising his skills.

Anyway, "Riding you now would just be strange. A proper ride pokemon is a quadruped. Humanoid pokemon are just weird for riding."

Some Alolans let Machamp carry them around in their arms. Super weird.

~"Hey, I'm kind of a quadruped." Salandit comments. ~"Once I evolve, you can totally ride me! Wink, wink." She winks with both eyes as she says that.

There is nothing wrong with it in principle.

She will be a quadruped - kinda - and she will be large enough to carry me. "Why not? I can try riding you then."

She laughs again.

"Alright, let's stop it with the innuendo and head inside the bicycle store."

~"Hiss! Hiss! Yess, let's come insside."

~"What's an innuendo?"

---

The towering buildings on either side of the alley barely let any light reach this place. Garbage bins block the way for any normal person to travel through it with a bicycle.

Trainers, on the other hand, or people who bother to invest in any type of infinite space bag, can go in and out of the alley with their fancy new bicycles without any issues at all.

Near the end of the alley is an unassuming door with another bicycle sign on top of it. It's easy to miss unless one looks for the sign.

The boring, basic, blue sheet metal door doesn't chime or ring a bell when we enter.

In the dingy, tightly packed store are rows upon rows of bicycles, some even hanging from the walls, but one clearly stands above the rest.

It is spray-painted in a golden color, standing atop a pedestal with a price tag of 1 million pokedollars. Other than the fake-gold coating, it's just a regular bicycle. No, wait. Looks like one of the spokes is broken.

Truly a ridiculously unreasonable price.

A man sits in the corner of the room smoking a crappy, hand-rolled cigarette. I don't smoke, but I'm confident I could roll it better than that.

"Watcha looking for, lad?"

"A bicycle."

"Funny. We sell those."

Heh. "Actually, I want to buy the ridiculously expensive bicycle."

"Cash or credit?"

Uhhh, I was sure it was a code phrase! I can't buy that crappy bike. And even if I could, I wouldn't!

"Hah! I'm just pulling yer leg, laddy." He slaps his knee in laughter. "Go to the bathroom and knock on the occupied stall."

He points deeper inside the shop, past the cash register, where another blue door without any label awaits.

Entering the room, I see urinals and three stalls. The last one is occupied.

Knock

"Oi! Piss off! I'm having a wank!" A voice comes from the stall.

What the fuck did I get myself into?

The other guy shouts. "Knock again!"

Knock

"What's the password?"

Should I let Lopunny break down the door?

Suddenly the door unlocks, and the same fucking guy with a shit-eating grin stares back at me while sitting on the toilet. "I'm just fucking with ya. There is no password, hah!"

Did a pokemon teleport him just to fuck with me again?!

His pants are up at least.

"What do you want to buy, lad?"

I take a look around, noting the glaring lack of any products. "Well, I do not want to buy toilet paper. What else do you sell?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Yup."

"... Well, how much does a Lopunnite cost?"

"40k."

"40 thousand pokedollars?!" He nods. "That's 10 thousand more than from the GTS. Why would I pay that?"

"The GTS doesn't have it in stock, and customers who bid higher than that get preferential treatment. It might take ya years until you can get yer grubby little hands on one."

My hands aren't grubby. His are. He should stop smoking. Cigarettes are really bad for the skin.

"Our prices are fair. Market value plus the acquisition fee."

"Are they stolen?"

"Don't know. You don't want to know."

That sounds like an admittance. So I would need to act like I found it in the wilderness. That doesn't seem too difficult.

However, I would be giving some criminal schmuck out there the incentive to continue doing his crimes. In a perfect world, that guy wouldn't be making any money with his stolen goods.

On the other hand, these criminals exist with or without my funding. It's the government's responsibility to remove them from society.

"How fast can you get one?"

"A Lopunnite? Up to a month, maybe two. Varies by season. Depends on the demand."

"So it's harder to come by closer to the championship, I'm guessing."

He grins with a yellow-teethed smile. "Yer guessing right, lad. Lots of people hope to get a better offer between now and then, only to end up paying more to get it at the last minute."

Shit. So it's either get one now, but support the criminal underworld, have ridiculous luck - no way that's gonna happen - or pay more later, with the added risk that I won't get a mega stone at all.

Objectively speaking, buying is the best choice for me.

"Alright. I'll buy it."

"That's 10k upfront and 30k to the delivery guy once we have your order ready. Both in cash, please."

He holds his grubby hand out.

I have the cash ready because of today's planned shopping spree.

... Can't believe I would ever get into this position.

Handing over money to some scummy dude in a dingy toilet.

His yellow-stained fingers wrap around the wad of cash before counting the notes.

"And ten thousand. Your order is now in process. Pleasure doing business with ya." He spits into his gross-looking hand before holding it out again. "Let's shake on it."

"I'd rather not."

"Fair enough. Should've known by the way yer dressed. Fancy-schmancy trainer. Our delivery guy will find you sometimes within the next two months. Keep the cash ready. And close the doors on your way out."

What's much weirder than talking with a guy sitting on the toilet the whole time? Closing the door again while he keeps direct eye contact. Once it's closed, the lock engages, locking him inside.

Back inside the main room, the same guy sits and waits. "Did ya have a pleasant experience with my brother in there? His size can be a little intimidating at first, but I'm sure it was nothing you can't handle."

Is he still fucking with me?

His brother was just as scrawny as he is.

Wait... ew! Yuck. "That's disgusting."

"What is? ... Ahahaha, stop glaring, Mister. I'm just--"

"Fucking with me. I get it. Let's just keep it professional."

"Sheesh. Sure. Have a nice day, sir."

"Goodbye."

Lopunny follows me closely on my way out.

The musty air of the alley feels a little more unpleasant now than on the way in. This interaction really left a bad taste in my mouth.

Maybe I should turn him and his associates in once I got my business with them taken care of?

They probably have the resources to become a real pain in my ass if they found out it was me, though.

Hmm. Perhaps once my team is a little stronger.