Chapter 5- February 14th

February 14th. The day of love. The day when you tell the people you love most how much you love them with overpriced gifts and cheesy dates. For me, February 14th is a lot of other things than just that.

February 14th is when I got the text that he had been sent to the hospital.

February 14th is when I got hit with the true realization that my boyfriend could be gone any moment.

February 14th is when I realized my fairytale was coming to an end.

February 14th is when I realized that when that fairytale ended a nightmare was going to begin.

February 14th is when I saw death for the first time.

February 14th is when I felt death for the first time.

February 14th is when I lost my world.

~~~~~~

"Karma!" I busted through the doors. His mom looked at me with glassy eyes. I run over to his hospital bed and lean over to engulf him a hug.

"Hey, Nagi-chan!" He said in a tone that was far too cheery for the circumstances. Just ųeeing him like this hurt me to the core.

"Karma, you are far too cheery right now," I looked at him in his mercury colored eyes that have dulled significantly since I saw him last. Granted that was a few days ago.

"Hey, to be far, I've got only a slightly uncomfortable hospital bed, and there are some very nice nurses, so it could be a lot worse," I frowned, he shouldn't be here at all.

"Karma, this isn't funny."

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be the positive one? I was trying to put a little bit of a positive spin on things," he looked at me with a sad smile, that made tears fall. He just pulled me into a bigger hug.

Not even seconds after that the rest of the class burst in, teachers and all. I left the comfort of his hug and decided to just sit next to him while he put his arm around me.

"Why hello everyone!" Karma greeted, once again, way too cheerfully.

Terasaka started, "Holy shit Karma. Nakamura told us everything on the way over. Why didn't you tell us!?" Everyone had misty eyes.

Kayano also blurts out, tears coming out of her hazel eyes, "we could've helped out and not made you do all that stuff," she bows, "we're so sorry." The rest of the class bows. Karma sighed.

"This is why. I didn't want to worry you, and, as cheesy as it sounds, I love seeing your guy's smiles, so stop frowning and crying, you all look really ugly," he teased as smiled at all of us; that smile didn't last long though. He burst into a coughing fit. We all sat and waited for it to be over. Sugino is the first to say anything.

"Karma, your health wasn't worth any of it," he said, trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. Karma was about to object, but Isogai beat him to it with a solemn smile on his face.

"Guys, for him it is. He's like my mom; she puts on a brave face, so I don't have to worry because that's what you do when you love someone — you protect them from the bad things, well at least you try to. As much as Karma doesn't want to admit it he loves this class," Isogai looked around at us, "So we are kind of being selfish by putting all that work to shame and not smiling for him." He looked back at Karma and mustered all his strength to smile at him through the tears that fell. The rest of the class all mustered up their best smiles and smiled at him. Even I joined. I looked up at Karma and gave him my best smile. He looked around at all of his friends, and I swear I could see a few tears prick the corners of his eyes before he blinked them away. Karma cleared his throat before saying anything.

"Well said, Isogai. I do love you stupid dorks. In fact, I have a few things I want you guys to hear," he started to cough again. It hurt to see him struggle.

"Okay, so first off, Rio-chan you better pull off some epic pranks even when I'm gone. If you don't, I'll come back from hell to haunt you," Nakamura nodded through her tears as the rest of the class gave a small, sad laugh at Karma’s joke.

“I'll give these guys such hell; they won’t know what hit them,” she smiled at him wiping away some of her tears.

Karma nodded and smiled as he moved his gaze to Isogai.

"Isogai you keep being that annoying gentleman that you are, and I hope your mom gets better," Isogai smiled at him through his tears.

"Don't worry Karma, what class representative would I be if I wasn't an annoying gentleman? And thank you I hope she gets better too," Karma smiled back. His gaze then moved to Kayano. I wonder if he's got something to say about everyone.

"Kayano, defend the title of best Dance Dance Revolution player in my honor," she shook her head, and wiped some of her tears away.

"No one will ever be as good as you," Karma just smiled at her.

"Thanks Kayano, but my reign is over; it's your turn," this time she just nodded her head and looked away. Karma shifted his gaze to Sugino this time.

"Sugino, keep playing baseball, and while you're at it kick some ass for me will ya'? When you make it to the major leagues and become super popular, don't forget the first time we played together as a class," Sugino smiled through his tears and shook his head.

"I could never forget something that amazing," Sugino sniffled at the memory. I wiped away some of the many tears that were flowing down my face, as he looked at Terasaka.

"Terasaka never change, being smart doesn't suit you," the class burst into laughter. Terasaka rolled his watery eyes, but there was still a smile playing across his lips.

"Why does everybody else get a really nice compliment and you just insult me, you asshole?" Terasaka jokes. I don't think I'll ever understand their friendship. Karma looked back at him.

"It is a compliment. You're the best idiot in this class," he snickered. Terasaka was about to say something else but was interrupted by Karma’s coughing. With him coughing this much we could all guess that we are never going to see Karma out of this hospital bed, alive at least. Just that thought made more tears fall.

It’s not like we were wrong.

When Karma was done Terasaka spoke up again.

"Thanks man," he smiled, holding back the tears that were going to fall any second. Karma nodded, smiling back at him before he looked at Maehara.

"Maehara don't let anyone bring down that happiness of yours, and maybe if you're lucky, Isogai will share some of his admirers with you," he winked. Maehara looked at Isogai and laughed before he looked back at Karma.

"Don't worry I won't," he smiled as brightly as he could. Karma looked at Okuda whose glasses lenses were smudged thanks to all the tears.

"Okuda keep up that crazy science you do, and get out of your shell once in a while; you're smart and could become a scientist or something. Just share your ideas. Maybe even use them to help Rio-chan in pranks," he smirked. Even in this state he is still as evil as always.

"I'll do a prank in your honor!" She looked at him. This was one of the only times she ever really spoke. I guess losing someone you care about will get you to do things you never thought you would. Nakamura nodded her head at her.

"It will be the best prank you've ever seen," she looked at Karma. He smiled at both of them. He then turned to look at Takebayashi.

"Takebayashi, if you keep at it with all your technology, you could probably be a scientist too," all Takebayashi did was nod. We could tell he was holding back tears by pushing up his glasses. Karma then turned to Chiba and Hayami.

"Chiba, Hayami, keep up with the sniping; you're amazing at it, and while you're at it get a good hit on Korosensei for me," they nodded at him while tears streamed down both their faces. You could even see them falling past Chiba's bangs.

"We'll make sure to hit him for you, Karma," Hayami wiped her tears to give a half smile.

"Yeah so you better be watching," Chiba joked half-heartedly, smiling and wiping away the tears on his cheeks. Karma chuckled and looked over to Kayano's phone to which Ritsu was displayed.

"Ritsu, I hope you keep finding new human emotions," Ritsu, even though she is 'just A.I', looked at him with 'tears' in her eyes.

"I believe I have found one. I think you call it sadness or maybe loss," Karma nodded.

"When I said find emotions, I didn't mean crappy ones," he half joked which just made the class sniffle more. He looked over to Itona who, surprising, had a few tears in the corners of his eyes. I never thought I'd see the day that he would cry.

"Itona try not to let Terasaka and his goons' stupidity rub off on you; you still have to reopen your dad's shop. Oh and everyday is a good day to skip school and scheme, so when you do skip remember me while you do it," he smiled at him.

"Karma don't worry each time I skip, I will do it in your honor, and I don't think stupidity can rub off," Itona nodded and rubbed the rest of the tears off his eyes. Karma went around and said nice things to the rest of our classmates. He then turned to his parents.

"Mom, dad, if I'm going to be honest, I wish you were here more, but I know it's not your fault. I love you guys," he looked at his parents through watery eyes. They stood up to hug him, so I moved from my spot. His mom was the one to say something.

"We wish we were here more too," his mom and dad sniffled, as they let a few of their tears soak into his shirt. They sat back in their seats and Karma pulled me back to where I was sitting before, and slipped his hands around my waist, so I was closer.

He looked over to Korosensei in his ‘human’ disguise.

"Korosensei I wish I could be there when they finally kill you. It would be nice to finally see our work pay off and watch you die, but I guess it's kinda ended the other way around," everybody tried choking back tears. I hate it when he says stuff like that; it just makes it all the more real. His parents definitely looked confused, but they were too busy crying to really notice or to care. Korosensei clears his throat.

"Karma, I wish I could do something; you're far too young to pass away like this," Korosensei moved his tentacle (disguised as a 'human hand') to place it on his head. He smiled at him before falling into yet another coughing fit. Korosensei removed the tentacle from his head and looked down. Karma shook his head at Korosensei.

"Nah, teach, it's my time. Well it will be soon, and I'm okay with that," the whole class broke down into tears. Whispering small protests through the sobs. I turned so instead of just sitting next to him; I was hugging him. I wept into his shirt until he told us to stop crying. He moved my face to where I could see him, and started to wipe off the tears escaping my eyes. He gave me a quick peck on my forehead before looking back at the rest of the class.

"Is everyone done crying?" He asked looking at the sea of junior high kids that all have matching runny noses and tear-stained cheeks. We all nodded, even the teachers.

"Okay, so anyway, Mr. K, Professor Bitch just so you know I'll be watching your wedding from below," he smirked at them as Professor Bitch turned a light shade of pink, but she still laughed at the jab at her and Mr. K's relationship.

"Even on your deathbed, you're still a little brat," she chuckled and smiled. Karasuma just smiled and shook his head.

He then finally looked at me.

"Lastly, Nagi-chan," he took a deep breath before he continued, "you are the best person I have ever met in my life. I love you with everything in me. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me, Nagisa Shiota," he moved his hand to where it was cupping my face before he continued, "I fall in love with you more and more each time I see you."

I sniffled. I won't lie when he said stuff like it made my heart flutter, but it made it break at the same time. The way he said it, made it sound like he'd never see me again.

"Don't say stuff like that-"

"It breaks your heart? Yeah I know you've told me, but don't let it. It'll be okay whether I'm here or not," he smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead. As cute and sweet as that was, he didn't have to do that in front of the whole class and his parents. He definitely could've refrained, but he loved to embarrass me too much. I could even hear some of my classmates 'aw' and the sound of a camera clicking, which I presume was Korosensei 'capturing the moment'. I wanted to say something, but Karma started talking again before I got a chance to.

"Now it would be much appreciated if you guys would leave, so I could take a nap because being sick is tiring," he sighed dramatically.

"Oh except Nagi-chan and my parents, you guys can stay," he added and the class laughed and bid their goodbyes.

"That was a really pretty speech you gave Karma," I smiled at him. A light blush spread across his cheeks, and he gave a sheepish smile.

"Thank you Nagi-chan; I meant every word," I nodded back at him.

"I know Karma," then a comfortable silence fell over us. Karma was the first to break it.

"Sorry, I kinda didn't get to give you a cool Valentine's day gift, so I guess your gift will just have to be my presence," he looked down and played with his fingers. It might've been a bit selfish of me, but I loved seeing his shy side because I know I'm the only one who got to see it.

"That's more than enough," I smiled, "but I did get you something."

"Aw you don't have to, Nagi-chan. Like I said I didn't get you anything," he was so sweet at times.

"Correction — you couldn't get me anything. No I'm going to run home and get it k?" I said. There was no way I was budging on this. He shook his head and signed in defeat, something he rarely did.

"Okay Nagi-chan, if you insist," I nodded, satisfied. I knew I needed to get him something, and I wanted it to be super special because this was, as much as I don't want to believe it, probably going to be the first and last Valentine's day we'll get to spend together as boyfriends.

Or ever.

~~~~~~

When I got home my mom was at work, as expected, it was around noon after all. I walked into my room and over to my desk. I grabbed my gift for him, and walked back out of the house making sure to lock it. I walked back to the station as fast as possible to make sure I didn't miss the next train.

~~~~~~

The walk into the hospital was just as terrible as the first time I went here with Karma. As much as I wanted to see him, the looming thought of inevitable death and the burning brightness of luminescent lights made it hard.

I finally got to the door and knocked on it. I waited for a 'come in' before I actually entered. I looked around to find that Karma's parents were gone. Weird.

"Where did your parents go?" I asked him.

"Out," he shrugged, like it was nothing.

"Oh, okay?" I would've thought they would've wanted to spend more time with their dying son.

"Yeah, but hey, I'm not gonna complain about more alone time with you," he winked with that annoying smirk plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes at his flirting and walked and hid his gift behind my back.

"I have your gift~" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Is it you~?" Way to kill all my confidence, Karma.

"Karma! No! Will you stop being so flirty for five seconds!" I whined. I had a good speech prepared and everything, but now I can't remember at all what I was going to say.

"First of all never, you blushing is far too cute, and like I said you really don't have to. I didn't get you anything; I feel bad," he pouted at the end of his sentence. How could he go from being such a devil to being so cute? I rolled my eyes at his pout.

"Well don't and just shut up and accept it," I said firmly which surprised Karma back a little because usually I never am that firm with, well, anything.

"Well okay then," he sputtered out, and I moved the chocolates and a printed photo that we took the day we met, out from behind my back and handed it to him. He grabbed it from me and smiled. He let his finger gently trace the photo.

"This is probably the best gift I could ask for," I would be lying if I said that, that didn't give me a huge confidence boost that I didn't even know I needed.

"Th-" I was cut off by Karma grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and pulling me down to meet his lips. I squeaked in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss.

*

He put the gift next to him and grabbed me by the waist and pulled me down to where I was sitting on the bed. We broke away for a second to catch our breath which for me, was quite the task considering all the adrenaline rushing through my veins. Oh and not to mention the nervousness coursing through my veins along with it. He looked at me with mischief, or maybe even lust, in his eyes.

The second he caught his breath he grabbed my waist again and captured my lips with his once more.

I moved closer to him and put one hand on his shoulder and left my other to linger on his chest. After a few more seconds, I could feel his lips part and his tongue slide over my bottom lip. Which, granted, made my stomach flip because, well, it's not like I've made out with anyone before. Infact, Karma was my first real kiss.

While I was just sitting there, not being 100% sure of what to do, Karma must've gotten impatient or maybe he noticed I wasn't paying the best attention and took it as an opportunity of sorts.

He took a pause from licking my bottom lip to instead take his teeth and bite down gently. I gasped in surprise because, although, I wasn't sure what to expect — it definitely wasn't that. My gasp gave him just enough time to slip his tongue in and explore my mouth as he pleased.

I slowly got the idea and tilted my head for better access. After Karma had a few laps around my mouth, I got what he was doing and started to mimic his movements. It wasn't too long before our tongues were dancing perfectly in sync with each other.

When we finally broke free, we were both red and panting with a string of saliva still connecting us. When we calmed down I finally decided to break the silence.

*

"That was…" Well actually how should I even have described that?

"Hot? Super fucking amazing? Something we should do more often? All three?"

I giggled and nodded. Karma always knew what to say no matter what the situation was. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered as I scooted over and laid my head on his chest, making sure to watch out for any wires. He played with one of my pigtails.

Normally I hate it when people mess with my hair; it's bad enough that my mom makes me keep it long. Having someone actively mess with it though? That's a whole different level of annoying.

Karma was the only exception because for some unknown reason, I really liked it when he played with my hair. It was comforting in a sense.

We laid like that for a while, enjoying each other's company. That was until the nurse came in to check 'vitals and stuff', and I was asked to leave.

~~~~~~

It was about 2:45 pm, when the nurse said I could come back into the room, and Karma was typing on his phone. When he saw me, he put it away and looked at me.

“Hey Nagisa,” he started. I sat down next to him and turned to give him my full attention.

“Yeah Karma,” I hummed.

“In the spirit of Valentine’s day, I figured it would be a good time to tell you I love, in fact, dare I say you are the love of my life,” I could feel my face light up as I heard him say that. I don’t think I had ever smiled brighter. Karma chuckled and shook his head.

“If you smile any brighter you might blind me,” he rolled his eyes as he gave me a soft kiss on his forehead. He still couldn’t hide his grin.

What I would give to see that grin one more time.

“I’ve wanted to hear that since I, like, met you. You’re the love of my life Karma,” his smile started to waver. He wrapped his arms around me.

“Don’t say that,” What was that supposed to mean? I just said what he said. I went to pull away and say something, but he just hugged me tighter.

I wish I had hugged him as tight as he hugged me.

“Karma, what's that supposed to mean?” I whispered because something about how he was acting was scaring me. He pulled away and looked at me. He was still smiling; it had turned sad.

I’ll never know how he could be smiling. Maybe it’s just because he was that strong of a person.

“When I’m gone-” I tried to cut him off. I immediately felt the tears start to pool in my eyes.

“Just listen okay?” I nodded because if I would’ve said something I might’ve cried even more.

“It’s not fair to call me the love of your life,” he whispered softly.

Life isn’t fair.

I shook my head at him. Love doesn’t work like that.

I opened up my mouth to say something, but he didn’t give me the chance.

“Promise me when you’re older, and a super successful teacher,” he brushed some of my bangs out of in front of my face, “you’ll find someone who’ll treat you as good as I wish I could've.” What? I felt my world slow down.

“Karma, love doesn’t work like that! You said it yourself I’m the love of your life. How,” I started to get choked up, “how come you can’t be mine,” I whimpered out.

“Nagi-chan,” he started softly, “you get to be the love of my life because mine is getting cut short; you’ll still have years to go after I’m gone. You’ll have plenty of time to find someone else. Don’t stay heartbroken forever. It’s no way to live,” he smiled softly at me, and grabbed my hand.

It still doesn’t work like that.

It never will.

“K-karma you make it sound l-like you’re already d-d-dead,” there went my composure. I started bawling my eyes out. Why did he have to talk like that? We sat there for a while with him just holding me.

I wish I would’ve held on tighter.

He looked down and gave me a soft peck on the lips.

It was 3:04 pm when he kissed me for the last time.

"You can promise me that, right?" He asked softly. No not really, but he already sounded sleepy, so I wasn't going to push it. I opted for nodding instead.

He laid his head on my shoulder and let his eyes flutter shut. He looked so peaceful. I laid my head on top of his.

I wish I would’ve held on tighter for what little time I had left with him.

It was 3:06 pm, when I heard the heart monitor flatline.

It was 10 seconds later when they rushed in, and I was rushed out.

It was 3:07 pm, when a nurse came out and told me he requested a dnr, so there wasn't anything they could do.

It was 3:08 pm, I felt when I felt my world stop.

It was 3:13 pm, when I officially lost everything.

It was 3:13 pm, when I officially lost Karma.

It was 3:13 pm, when I officially found out how unfair life really was.