Shin’s Questionable Life Choices

The deck of the Flying Shin-tanic was absolute chaos. Root ANBU swarmed in like well-trained assassins (which, you know, they were), but Tsunade's new Mangekyo Sharingan was already turning them into glorified training dummies.

"Shin, stay back," Tsunade warned, her right eye glowing ominously. "I don't want to have to keep saving your ass."

I gasped dramatically. "How dare you? I am the captain of this ship! I can—"

Before I could finish, one of the Root ANBU flung a kunai at me, aiming directly for my beautifully handsome face. Tsunade's right eye flickered, and suddenly, the kunai reversed mid-air and flew straight back into the attacker's shoulder.

I grinned smugly. "See? She's got my back."

Kyoki groaned. "You're an absolute nightmare."

The ANBU scattered, forming a circle around us. One of them stepped forward, his voice calm and devoid of emotion. "Lady Tsunade, surrender peacefully. This does not concern you."

Tsunade crossed her arms, her left eye flickering with the telltale black flames of Amaterasu. "You know, that's funny... because it really concerns me when you try to kill the father of my child."

I wiped a fake tear from my eye. "Babe, you're so romantic."

Tsunade smirked. "Don't get used to it."

With a mere glance, the Root ANBU's uniform was engulfed in Amaterasu. He screamed like a little girl and rolled around frantically, which was both terrifying and hilarious to watch.

"Shin, focus!" Tsunade snapped, snapping me out of my amusement.

I clapped my hands together, activating my Reality Rejection ability, and pointed at two incoming ANBU. "I reject the reality where you exist near me!"

POOF! They vanished into thin air, reappearing about two miles away in the middle of the ocean.

Kyoki's jaw dropped. "You sent them... to the ocean?"

I nodded proudly. "Yeah, that's my polite way of saying, Get lost."

Another ANBU lunged at Tsunade, a blade aimed for her stomach. I saw red.

"Oh, hell no."

Before I could even react, Tsunade's right eye kicked in, Lover's Wish activating in full force. The ANBU's weapon shattered like glass mid-strike, and his body was forcibly shoved backward by an invisible force of sheer "Get away from my baby mama" energy.

The dude hit the deck so hard, I actually winced.

"Damn," I muttered. "That eye is OP as hell."

Tsunade gave me a smug look. "You thought I needed saving, didn't you?"

I coughed awkwardly. "Nooo... I just wanted to make sure the baby doesn't inherit all the cool powers."

She rolled her eyes. "Too late."

Far away, in the depths of Konoha's underground lair (because of course he has an underground lair), Danzo sat with his hands steepled, watching through a crystal ball that probably wasn't stolen from his boyfriend Hiruzen.

His eye twitched in barely-contained frustration. "So, that guy gifted her a pair of sharingans, and the woman has awakened a Mangekyo even. Lord Tobirama must be doing angry flips in his grave..."

One of his Root agents knelt beside him. "Lord Danzo, permission to escalate tactics?"

Danzo scowled. "No. We do not engage further. Let them run."

The root agent blinked. "Run, sir?"

Danzo smirked. "Yes. Run. They think they have the advantage, but they do not know... the true weapon I possess."

The agent gulped nervously. "And what would that be, sir?"

Danzo's face darkened. "...Debt collectors."

The agent paled. "My God..."

With the last of the Root agents dealt with (read: punted off the side of the ship), I clapped my hands together and surveyed the wreckage. "Well, that was fun! Who's up for ramen?"

Tsunade shot me a glare. "Shin, this isn't a joke. Danzo won't stop. He'll keep sending people after us, and sooner or later, someone might get through my defenses."

I waved a hand. "Babe, relax. We have a flying fortress. We're untouchable!"

Kyoki, who had been inspecting the control panel, coughed. "Actually... uh... funny story. We might have a tiny issue."

Tsunade and I both turned to him. "What issue?"

Kyoki scratched his head awkwardly. "So... the ship is leaking chakra fuel. Like, a lot of it. We're basically a giant, flying bomb right now."

Tsunade sighed. "Of course we are."

I clapped a hand on Kyoki's shoulder. "No worries, my friend. We'll land it somewhere safe."

Kyoki stared at me. "Where exactly?"

I grinned. "Right above Konoha."

Tsunade facepalmed. "Absolutely not."

Kyoki panicked. "Shin, that's literally the worst idea ever!"

I waved him off. "Come on, just think about it—hovering over the village, making demands, maybe dropping a few... surprises?"

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. "We're not declaring war."

I pouted. "Fine. But if we do, can we at least write 'Danzo Sucks' on the Hokage Monument?"

Kyoki groaned. "I can't believe I'm actually considering this."

Later that night, after Tsunade had calmed down (mostly thanks to me offering foot rubs that escalated to some naughty stuff—I'm the best husband, I know), we sat on the deck staring at the stars.

"So," I said, leaning against the railing, "how does it feel? Having OP eyes and, well... having the most dashing and cool man as your husband ?"

Tsunade smirked. "Overwhelming and annoying , in both cases."

I nodded. "Yeah, sounds about right."

She studied her hands, the faint glow of her Mangekyo reflecting off them. "These powers... they came from my desire to never lose anyone again."

I reached over, squeezing her hand gently. "I get it, babe. And hey, with these, you won't. Ever."

She snorted. "Assuming I don't go blind first."

I coughed awkwardly. "Yeah, uh... about that. Maybe don't use them too much until the eternal mangekyou. You might get them soon due to your senju blood."

Tsunade rolled her eyes—both figuratively and literally. "Too late for that, Shin."

I grinned. "Still, though, we've got a baby on the way, an air fortress, and half the world after us. This is shaping up to be the best adventure ever."

Tsunade sighed but smiled softly. "You really do see the bright side of things, don't you?"

I winked. "No, babe. I see reality. And I'm rejecting it."

She shoved me off the railing.

As I plummeted down screaming, Tsunade's Lover's Wish activated instantly, and I found myself floating back up gently.

I grinned, still mid-air. "See? This is why I married you!"

Tsunade crossed her arms, muttering, "I'm still considering throwing you over for real."

Kyoki walked past, shaking his head. "We're all doomed."

Life aboard the Flying Shin-tanic was... interesting, to say the least. Tsunade was getting used to her new Mangekyo Sharingan, Kyoki was constantly updating his "Escape Plan in Case of Shin's Stupidity" list, and Shizune was having a nervous breakdown approximately every couple hours.

As for me? I was living the dream.

Or I was—until we got visitors.

A loud BANG echoed across the fortress deck, followed by a booming voice.

"UCHIHA SHIN! COME OUT AND PAY YOUR DEBTS, YOU SCOUNDREL!"

Everyone froze. Kyoki turned to me slowly. "Tell me you don't have debt collectors after you..."

I coughed. "Well... technically, Tsunade has debts, and since we're married now, they're... our debts."

Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "Oh, hell no. This is YOUR fault!"

The fortress shook again as the booming voice continued. "DO NOT THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN THE SKY, BOY! WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY!"

I peeked over the railing. Below, a fleet of massive airships marked with the words 'Konoha Ninja Loan & Finance' were circling us like vultures.

"Jesus," Kyoki muttered. "Even the debt collectors are ninja now?"

"Hey, the economy's tough!" I yelled defensively.

Tsunade grabbed me by the collar. "Shin. Fix. This. Now."

I grinned sheepishly. "I'll handle it, babe. Just... trust me."

She narrowed her eyes. "Last time I trusted you, we ended up stealing a fortress."

"Exactly!" I beamed. "Trust the process!"

I stepped to the edge of the deck and activated my Mangekyo Sharingan. The fleet below hovered ominously, spotlights aimed at me.

"Greetings, financial overlords!" I called out, arms wide. "Let's discuss this like civilized individuals!"

The lead debt collector, a burly man with a mustache so thick it probably had its own chakra reserves, pointed an accusing finger at me. "No more talking! Your payments are SEVEN YEARS overdue!"

I gasped. "SEVEN? I wasn't even a proper ninja back then you fucker!"

Tsunade's voice rang out behind me. "Shin, you idiot, that's MY debt!"

I blinked. "Oh. Right."

The debt collectors prepared to fire their chakra cannons, and I quickly raised my hands. "Whoa, whoa! Let's not do anything drastic! How about... a payment plan?"

The mustache guy sneered. "We only accept payment in full!"

I smirked. "Okay. Then you leave me no choice..."

I activated my Reality Rejection and pointed dramatically. "I reject the reality where I owe you money!"

The mustache guy blinked. "Wait, what?"

A ripple spread through the air, and for a moment, all the debt collectors just... stood there, confused. Some even scratched their heads, staring at their clipboards.

"I don't... I don't see anything owed here," one of them muttered.

"Are we sure we're at the right fortress?"

Tsunade had stars in her eyes . "You absolute lunatic, I love you! Marry me right now!"

I grinned, turning back to her. "Told you, babe. Trust the process."

Kyoki shook his head. "You are actually the worst human being alive right now ."

Hiruzen sat in his office, staring at yet another ridiculous report. "Debt collectors... brainwashed into forgetting the debt?" He sighed deeply. "Shin... what the hell are you even doing?"

Danzo, standing nearby, huffed. "If he has such a powerful technique, why doesn't he just erase his bounty?"

Hiruzen rubbed his temples. "Because he's an idiot."

After successfully escaping financial ruin, I felt invincible. I strutted around the deck, hands behind my head. "See? Easy-peasy. Now, who's up for—"

Tsunade, still glaring, grabbed me by the collar. "Shin. We still have other problems, remember?"

I gulped. "Like...?"

Kyoki, rolling out a giant map, pointed to three blinking red dots. "Kumo, Iwa, and Suna are all preparing to attack Konoha. And guess who they're blaming for all this mess?"

I gasped. "Wait... me?!"

Shizune deadpanned. "Yes, Shin. You."

I scratched my chin. "Man, I really am famous now, huh?"

Tsunade sighed. "If war breaks out, thousands of innocent will die. We have to do something."

I waved a hand. "Relax. Let's just pick a side and go full mercenary. Who pays the most?"

Kyoki smacked his forehead. "That's... not how diplomacy works, Shin!"

I grinned. "That's where you're wrong, Kyoki. Everything's negotiable with enough explosions."

Tsunade, tired of my nonsense, decided to distract herself by testing her Lover's Wish and Amaterasu.

"I need a test dummy," she said sweetly.

Kyoki immediately panicked. "Oh no. NO. I am NOT getting set on fire again!"

Tsunade pouted. "Come on, just a little bit?"

"NO!" Kyoki backed away.

I nudged him. "Kyoki, bro, you're my best friend. You have to help my wife."

"Get stuffed, Shin!"

"Fine," Tsunade sighed. "I'll use it on Shin."

I gasped. "Hold on! I just saved us from financial ruin!"

Too late. Her left eye spun, and suddenly my pants burst into Amaterasu flames.

"AHHHH!" I screamed, hopping around the deck. "Babe, babe, undo it!"

Tsunade smirked. "Say I'm the best wife ever and you will give me million ryo monthly for gambling ."

"YOU'RE THE BEST WIFE EVER! But My broke ass can't afford million!"

Her right eye flared, and the flames vanished. I collapsed onto the deck, panting. "You are terrifyingly sexy right now."

She winked. "I know."

Kyoki whispered to Shizune, "They're so weird."

I lay in bed with Tsunade, staring at the ceiling. "So... baby names?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You're already thinking about that?"

I grinned. "Of course! We gotta give them a name that strikes fear into our enemies!"

She sighed. "I swear if you suggest 'Madara 2.0,' I'm kicking you out of bed."

I coughed awkwardly. "...Okay, plan B. How about... 'Explosion-kun?'"

Tsunade facepalmed. "We're not naming our child after your obsession with blowing things up."

I smirked. "Fine. But if it's a boy, I want 'Shin Jr.'"

Tsunade leaned in, smirking. "And if it's a girl?"

I grinned. "Tsunade Jr."

She groaned. "I want a divorce, honey."

I kissed her forehead. "And yet, here you are, in love with me."

She sighed. "I hate how true that is."