Chapter 9

I pulled another spell book from the library's old shelves. It was the sixth I'd looked through this evening alone. And we'd already spent several days looking for…I wasn't sure. We'd told Elly that we were looking for a way to get her home, but that wasn't completely true. We knew how to do that already, we were just short on Archangel grace and a witch to read the spell correctly. Not that I didn't trust Sam to do it, but it would be nice to have Rowena on our side again.

Cas had returned with pomegranates from the Garden of Eden the day Ketch had brought my lifeless body back to the bunker. A good coincidence for once. I still had little to no clue what had happened to Mom or Jack, and the boys were hesitant to talk about it for some reason. I just knew they'd gotten sucked into the apocalypse world. And we had Cas looking into Asmodeus, but that was as slow going as finding Rowena or Lucifer was. My mouth tasted sour at the thought of asking the devil for help again, but we didn't have other options.

I flipped through the dusty pages, walking down the short hall to the map table. My eyes were glued to a page about tracking spells when I came into the room. We'd all been huddled here the last few days searching for answers.

"Did anyone find anything…." I trailed off as I looked up from the book. I stopped in my tracks and took in the entire situation before thinking about whether it was funny or not.

The boys were silently standing off the one side, ignoring the prize on the table. They'd somehow caught Ketch off his guard and had tied him to a chair, interrogation style but added an apple in his mouth. I glanced from him to where Elly was standing, trying her hardest not to laugh.

"I'm getting better at knots." She said, all too excited about what was going on. She took my arm and lead me to the man, walking me around to look at all the ties. I smiled when Ketch rolled his eyes.

"I'm assuming you two helped hold him still long enough for this?" I looked at the boys again. I slid a finger down one of Ketch' arms, it was held firmly behind the back of the chair, tied at the wrists and around his chest.

"We may have helped a little bit," Sam said, also trying to hide a laugh. Dean still stood silently, smiling like a proud father.

I removed the apple and leaned in close to Ketch' ear. "I'll have to remember this for another time. I could use this." I whispered.

"Watch your tongue, love. Two can play at that game." He growled coldly.

I chuckled, straightening up. "Elly you are getting better at your knots."

She threw her hands into the air, "I knew you'd think so!"

I slid the book I was still carrying onto the table, walking back behind Ketch. "Unfortunately, that'll have to be the end of today's lesson. I'm letting him go."

There was a whine from the boys and Elly, but they didn't stop me from untying the Brit. I could see the tension leave his shoulders as I loosened the ropes, eventually pulling his arms forward and rubbing his wrists. I could imagine how sore they were. I put a hand on his shoulder, asking him to stay put for a second longer.

"How does it feel to be the one tied to a chair?" I whispered again, playing with the fire now.

His molten silver eyes found mine, there was a hunger behind them, fueled by the embarrassment I'm sure this had caused. "Don't push me, I will keep you tied up all night." He whispered back.

I laughed and stood up, releasing his shoulder. I watched him stand and leave the room, no doubt going to my room to either sulk or wait for me. I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face as I turned back to the rest of the room. Dean had walked off, probably to get a beer, and I could see Elly walking around the bookshelves again. That left Sam sitting at the map table now, staring at the book I'd placed down.

"There seems to be a good tracking spell in there," I said, taking the seat next to my younger brother. "I'm not sure how well it would find Ol' Morningstar, but it could find Rowena for us."

"Mhm," Sam mumbled, "Why do you toy with fire like that?"

His sudden question took me aback. "What?"

Sam closed the book, "Don't try to deny it. I've seen the way you look at each other." Same leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, "And I've heard more than a few of the late-night excursions."

"Ah," My turn to be embarrassed, "I didn't think…well, I knew we weren't the sneakiest about it, but I didn't think anyone other than Elly knew. Does Dean…"

"No, our older brother seems to be as oblivious as always." Sam sighed, "Look, I don't care who you spend your time with, I've had my fair share of interesting choices. And so has Dean." Sam's hazel eyes looked into mine, "But please be careful. I don't want you to be the next victim."

I snorted, "I'm not a victim, Sam. I know what I'm doing. Who I'm doing. It's been going on for much longer than you and Dean know." I sighed, "So please, trust me here. If it starts to look hazy I'll kick the habit, ok?"

Sam nodded opening his mouth to say something else, when Cas entered the room and interpreted. "Gaberial is doing well, still refusing grace but he seems to be adjusting to the room."

"Wait, Gabe's in Hell," I said, staring between the angel and my brother. "What do you mean he's refusing grace?"

Cas stared at Sam, "You haven't told her?"

"We haven't…" Same cleared his throat, "It wasn't a priority."

"Wasn't a priority?!" I scoffed, "Did you forget we need archangel grace?"

"We can't use him for that anyway," Sam said, "Asmodues did something to him while Gabe was with him, completely ruined his mind."

"Yes, he seems to be broken in a way even I can't fix," Cas added, nodding.

"But you still don't think this was information I should know about?" I turned to the angel now, "How long has he been here?"

"Since I healed you." Cas stated, "Ketch brought him back along with your body."

"And we assumed he'd told you." Sam nodded now as if his statement made this any better. "Why would he not have told you?"

"I don't know…" Of course, he kept things from me, I kept things from him too. But something like this, why would he have skipped over it? I could think about that later, I had to focus on what they were telling me now. "You said Asmodeus did something to Gabe? Do we know what?"

Sam shrugged and looked at Cas, "From what I've seen of his memories," The angel spoke with his natural flat tone, "It seems like Asmodeus was draining Gaberial of his grace little by little. Torturing him."

"Ok. We can use that. If Asmodeus is using grace like that, he could be weaker than we think right? Like Lucifer was when he came back to this side?"

"He should be." Sam shrugged again and sighed, "But we have no good way of knowing that. We'd need some way of actually testing that."

"Not even I would risk it," Cas shook his head, "Not that I could get in anyway, the warding is too strong."

"I can get in." I looked at Sam, meeting his hazel eyes again. "Ketch has a key."

"No. We already lost you once from being there." He stared coldly at me, not willing to give this a second thought. "I will not lose you permanently."

"I'm not asking you to trust him. Or let me go alone." I leaned forward onto the table, "Look, I can get the key away from him. Dean and I can go in, find information about how powerful Asmodeus is, and get out."

"There have to be other ways." Sam was going to be firm on his decision.

"Let me know if you find one," I pushed away from the table and stood. "Until then, I'll be in my room. Figuring out what else I don't know."

I walked away from the table before anything else could be said, finding my way down the corridor and to my room. I opened the door and found most of what I expected. Ketch was there, but he wasn't waiting like I thought he would be. Instead, he was sitting at my desk, a pistol pulled apart on a black cloth in front of him. He held the barrel in one hand and ran a small brush through it with the other.

"When were you going to mention beginning Gabe back with us?" I asked, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me.

His hands didn't pause in their work, he continued cleaning the weapon. "I didn't think it was information I needed to give. I assumed your brothers would tell you." He tipped the barrel down, looking into it to see if it was clean before setting it back down on the desk.

"He's here. In the bunker. Putting a target on all of our heads. Especially mine and yours. And no one thought it would be a good idea to tell me?" I could feel the heat building behind my words.

"Not at all. He's useless at the moment, isn't he? No grace to use. Another no-good angel taking up space." He took parts of the gun in his hands again, putting it back together now. "Do you have a point to this?"

"Yes." I sighed, "No. I'm just upset that no one told me about this. Especially you."

"It is my job to keep secrets you know." I could see the cocky smile cross his face, though he continued to focus on putting the gun back together. "I don't get upset when you do yours."

"What exactly is my 'job', Ketch?" It was less a question than it was testing to see what he'd say.

"To kill mosters like Asmodeus." His smile widened and he chuckled, "And I suppose, like me."

"Why haven't I killed you yet, then?" I said, sliding my hand to the knife that stayed holstered at my side.

"You need me." The gun was complete now, and his hand rested on it.

"Who said that?"

There were four quick movements. I pulled my knife from the holster and took several steps. He grabbed the gun properly. I extended my arm so that the knife point just dug into his throat. The barrel of his gun brushed against my nose. I could smell the fresh oil from the slide.

"What then? Why am I still here if you don't need me?" His voice had dropped into something deeper, a playfulness on the edges but a serious tone coating everything.

"You need me, to keep you safe." I stared at him down the barrel, "Without me you'd be out there, being hunted. You want to stay alive."

There was silence, neither of us moving to confirm or deny what I'd said. We stood there, gun in my face, knife to his throat. I smiled. We'd turned this into a game. Neither of us was going to harm the other, and we both knew that. He'd have shot me already if he meant to hurt me. And I could have easily sliced his jugular open by now had I wanted to. A thought fueled with gunpowder and lust crossed my mind.

"It would be so easy to shoot me." I teased, "Just pull the trigger, end it."

His eyes grew serious, a shadow of concern clouding them. "What makes you think I won't?"

I leaned closer to the barrel, and licked the end of it, holding his gaze as the metallic taste coated my tongue. The traces of gunpowder left me with a sulfuric charcoal taste. "You would've done it already."

My eyes didn't leave his as Ketch returned the gun to the table, soon after taking the knife from my hand and sliding it next to the gun with a small clang. He stood and took a step toward me, placing a hand on my hip and a finger on my lips.

"We play this my way." He said, silver eyes buzzing with lust.

"Not so fast," I said, taking him by the hand and pulling him over to my bed. "I owe you for earlier."

"I agree but I…" He huffed as I pushed him back and he stumbled to the edge.

"Shh. You won't be complaining soon." I laughed at the stare he gave me.

"Fine," He leaned back onto his palms.

I put a hand on each of his knees and spread his legs apart. I attacked his belt buckle next, quickly unfastening it, then unbuttoning his pants and tugging them down to the tops of his thighs. His erection popped free, almost smacking my face.

"Find our little game that exciting huh?" I teased, curling my hand around him, "You can pretend you don't like me teasing you, you'll never be able to hide it from me."

His answer was to slide a hand into my hair and push my face toward his crotch. I flicked my tongue out to tease the head. Ketch' hips bucked towards me. I laughed a little before taking him in my mouth fully. He groaned the further I took him in, his back arching as I hit the base. I pulled back again to tease the tip, swirling my tongue around like it was a popsicle on a hot day.

"Fuck.." Ketch moaned, his empty hand digging into the bedsheets while the one that grabbed my head dug into my scalp.

I continued my assault, twisting, twirling, and sucking until I was sure anyone who walked by the door would know what was going on. I pulled back again, letting his cock pop out of my mouth before I took to the head again. I hollowed my cheeks and dragged my tongue along the bottom as I sucked. It was like a trigger, before long he erupted into my mouth and I swallowed it down. I popped him from my mouth again, watching the thing twitch for a second before looking up at Ketch again. His head had fallen back, his breath was heavy and labored.

"That good huh?" I laughed, running my tongue over my lips to catch any leftovers.

"Yes," He said, voice raspy and deep.

He sat up quickly and pulled me into a long, deep kiss. I let his tongue explore the corners of my mouth, tasting himself before we pulled apart.

"What am I going to do with you, Arthur?" I asked, still laughing softly.

"Everything, if you'd permit it." He responded.

He pulled me to him again, falling back onto the bed. I stopped when my knees hit the bed, straddling him now. I took care to slowly remove my top, running my hands up my torso and chest once it was bare.

He watched carefully, studying every inch of my body before slowly sitting up and carefully flipping us. He kissed and bit my bare flesh as he removed my jeans. His lips made their way down my chest and my hips. I closed my eyes as he brushed my sex with his tongue. He stayed there for a moment, making me sufficiently wet before moving up to curl his tongue around my clit. I reached for his hair, digging my fingers into his short locks to hold him in place as he played with the tender spot. I rode his face as he licked and nipped the bud until I came, digging my nails into the sheets and his head.

He took his time removing himself from me, then standing and removing his clothing. He tossed everything to the floor unceremoniously. He pulled me down to him at the edge of the bed, locking our lips together again as he slid easily into place inside me. The pace was rough but steady. Quick, sharp thrusts as I dug my nails into his back, my moans filling the room. I dug my nails deeper when his thumb found my clit again, rubbing and toying with the now oversensitive button. He rode out my release, lasting two more deep thrusts before succumbing to his bliss. We lay there for who knew how long, waiting for the euphoria and adrenaline to subside. I pulled his face down to me in one final kiss before he removed himself from me and collapsed next to me.

"I could get used to this," I whispered, staring at the ceiling.

"Good," Ketch said, pulling me into his arms.

I smiled as I fell asleep. I could get used to my room smelling like leather, sex, and gunpowder.

"There's some sort of spirit in Wichita," Dean said, looking through newspaper headings on his laptop, a plate of freshly made eggs and toast sitting next to it.

"Any local stories to match what's happening?" I asked walking back in from the kitchen, "Could be a tulpa?"

"There's not enough change in the story from killing to killing to make that likely." Sam said, staring at his laptop, "There's been thirteen kills already too."

"All old white men?" I looked over Sam's shoulder.

"Yup." He nodded, "They all were last seen with a woman wearing a white dress leading them to the top floor of this hotel." Sam gestured at the screen. It read 'Another body found in room 431 of Eaton Hotel'.

"Sounds easy enough," I shrugged, "I'll take Elly. Teach her a little bit about hunting."

Dean looked up, giving me his best older brother stare, "Is that wise?"

"She's gotta learn at some point. Plus it's just a spirit. They're pretty simple compared to what we deal with sometimes." I shrugged again.

"She's got a point, Dean," Sam said, looking up and pointing a pen at our brother. "We had the privilege of growing up in the life, she's got no idea. Better to teach her a bit now to keep her safe while she's here than let her end up dead while we're busy."

"Exactly." I patted Sam's shoulder, "I'll go wake her up and we can…"

"I am already packed!" Elly said, coming out of the hall with a backpack in hand.

I looked at her with a smirk. "Were you eavesdropping?"

"I…" She puffed out her cheeks, "Maybe."

We both laughed. At least she could be quiet enough for something like this. I walked over to her and took the pack from her hands, opening it to take a quick look inside. She'd packed the absolute bare necessities. A change of clothes, a toothbrush Sam had given her, a brush I wasn't sure how she'd gotten, general hygiene supplies, and…

"Where did you steal this from?" I asked, pulling one of Dean's old leather jackets from the bag.

"Hey, it was fair game!" She said, taking the bag back from me and pushing the jacket back inside. "I found it in my room's closet."

I turned to Dean, "Do you just stash your old shit in random rooms?"

He shrugged, "Must have forgotten it when I changed rooms last."

"Soooooo…" Elly slung the bag over her shoulder, "I can keep it?"

"I don't see why not." Dean smiled at her.

"Sweet!" She nearly jumped, "So when do we leave?" She asked, turning her attention back to me.

I chuckled, "Let me go pack my bag," I walked past her, ruffling her hair a little as I went by, "It'll take a couple of minutes but just wait here. Have Sam fill you in a bit more on the case."

"Ok!" Elly happily trotted over to Sam as I turned to walk away.

I smiled as I walked down the hall. She was so joyful. Like every worry she'd had about being here was slowly washing away as she learned and saw more of this world. It must be like a dream to her. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to see this world only ever on a screen and then suddenly be living it. There was so much different about our world from what she'd seen too. So many different twists and turns. I would never understand what thoughts raced through her mind.

I opened my door and was greeted by Ketch sitting on the edge of my bed. I smiled more.

"Good morning," I said, walking to my dresser.

"It is isn't it." I heard him stand, then felt his arms around my waist, "Going somewhere?"

"Ya, Sam found a pretty simple case." I paid him little mind as I worked to pull clothes out of drawers. "I'm going to take Elly with me, show her the basics."

"Sounds like fun." He kissed my neck softly, "Could I bother you before you leave?"

I rolled my eyes, "I left her waiting. I don't have time." I pushed away from my dresser and his arms released me.

"Nothing like that," He said as he watched me look around for my backpack. "I just wanted to tell you something."

"Ok," I said, curious now. I stood, bag in hand, and turned to him. "What is it?"

He almost seemed cautious as he approached me and took my free hand in his. He took it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on my knuckles. "You'll take me seriously?"

"Ok, now you've got my interest piqued." I felt nervous all of a sudden. Was he going to leave? Was this goodbye again? "Yes, I'll take whatever you say seriously."

"At this very moment, my thoughts of you make me smile like an idiot. Did you know you do that to me?" His eyes held mine, a beautiful sparkle in them. "Sometimes it makes me feel as if my heart will burst from all the longing you leave me with." He kissed the back of my hand again. "We have come together again and again, only for one of us to leave the other. But this time I hope you'll stay because I'm afraid I have fallen too far in love with you this time to possibly let you leave again."

I was frozen in place, amber eyes locked with silver. Ketch was waiting for an answer to this grand declaration, but I didn't have one. I knew what my feelings were. I knew there was no hiding them anymore. But once they were said out loud, that's when everyone always died. My chest was tight. My head spun. Every part of me wanted to run, get away from this, and hide. I let the feeling take over.

"Thanks," I said, sliding my hand from his and walking quickly out of the room.

I walked quickly to the main room again where Elly waited. I didn't say anything as I passed her, just grabbed her shoulder and tugged her with me up the large metal staircase and into the garage. I let go of her there and fumbled with my keys.

"Alex?" Elly asked, "Did something happen?"

I couldn't look at her. Couldn't acknowledge what I'd just run from. So I shook my head. "I'm fine, I just need to get some air." I found my car and unlocked the doors quickly, motioning for Elly to climb in as well. "Ready to get this case started."

"And you're sure…" I barely gave her time to buckle her belt before peeling out of the garage and leaving the bunker behind. "Alex!"

"Sorry.." I mumbled, "I just needed to get out.."

"What happened?" Elly pressed again.

I didn't answer her, just kept my eyes on the road. I let the speed climb dangerously high. The feeling of wanting to run away not going away.

"Alex, stop the car." I could hear the fear in her voice.

I shook my head, "He'll catch up if I slow down."

"He?" She questioned, "Alex, what the hell happened?!"

I shook my head again. "I can't…"

"Alex!" Elly screamed, "Stop now!"

I slammed on the brakes, the tires squealed against the pavement as we fishtailed and spun a little before I regained control and planted us softly into a ditch. I stared ahead into the night. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and the air wouldn't fill my lungs anymore.

"Alex," I nearly jumped out of my skin when Elly's hand touched my thigh. "What happened? What did Ketch do?"

I looked at my hands, they still gripped the steering wheel like it would crumble away if I let go. "Elly. I…" I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"You can tell me anything," Her hand squeezed my thigh, "I've never seen you like this. Did he hurt you?"

"No," I mumbled, letting go of the steering wheel to wipe at my face, "No, he didn't do anything."

"Then what happened?" Her voice was gentle, soothing, like a mother's.

I laughed a little, "This is so stupid." I looked at her, the tears falling free now. "He didn't hurt me. But I can't go back right now."

"Oh, hun…" Elly cooed, "Did he say something to upset you this much?"

I nodded my head and looked forward again, "I shouldn't be upset over it." I wiped my face again, "God I feel like such a child. I should be happy. But all I want to do is run and hide."

"What did he say?" Her hand came to my chin, turning my head so I was looking at her again, "I may not be strong like you are, but you know I can tie knots. If you want to we can tie him up and throw him in a lake somewhere when we get back. Then we can sing Goodbye Earl and eat pizza together."

I gave another tense laugh, "No, I don't want to kill him." I bit my lip and sucked in a breath, "He said he loved me."

The car was silent, save the almost silent hum of the engine, for a few minutes. Then Elly broke it.

"You ran away because the man you love admitted he loves you?" She asked.

I groaned and covered my eyes with a hand, "I told you I was acting like a child."

"You did almost kill us over a love confession." She joked.

"I didn't almost kill us.." I sighed.

"Ok, teasing aside." Elly patted my thigh, "Although you are a terrifying driver when emotional," I shot her a look from under my hand, "What's so wrong with that? Didn't you want him to feel that way? Don't you feel that way?"

"I…I do…I think." I wasn't sure that's what I wanted to call it, but I would agree that I felt some sort of very powerful emotion for the man. "I just…wasn't prepared."

"What? You're prepared for everything. Isn't that part of being a Winchester?" Elly teased me again.

"We're prepared for monsters, not people who love us." I sighed again, "Can we finish this later? I do wanna get to Wichita before someone else dies."

Elly opened her mouth to answer when my phone went off. I arched my back to retrieve it from my back pocket, groaning again when I saw who the caller was. Before I could reject the call, Elly had taken it from me and answered it.

"Fuck off, Bitch. She's mine for a few days." Elly said into the receiver, "We've got a ghost to kill. I'll make sure she comes back alive when we're done."

With that, she hung up, tossed my phone into the back seat, and turned around again with the biggest smile on her face.

"You owe me some junk food." She settled into her seat again, "And a good ghost hunt."

I laughed, a good heartfelt laugh. She was amazing. She'd made my chest feel less tight. And, although I'd still have to face this situation eventually, she'd made it clear for the moment that I didn't have to think about it if I didn't want to. Nothing mattered at this moment besides her and I and this ghost we were hunting. And when I had come to terms with what had been said, I would go back to the bunker. I looked in my mirrors before pulling back out onto the asphalt and towards our hunt.