Memories

>>Sorin

You think you can run away?

How far?

How far do you think you can do from what you've caused?

Forget about it all?

As if it's that easy. You can try and deny it again and again and again. Pretend it was never you. Blame it on someone else.

But, in the end it'll come back to you.

No matter what you do, it'll pierce you again.

Because,

It was all your fault

***

I woke up from a strange dream. I didn't remember much from it, actually I didn't remember anything from it. I think someone was telling me something. I vaguely remember a woman with blonde shiny hair, dressed in all white, her eyes were covered too while she said something to me.

I shook my head.

I have no idea what though.

"You okay?" I heard Leroy and looked at him while he was opening the curtains, making me flinch and close my eyes because of the sudden entrance of bright light.

He probably came in while I was still asleep.

"Yea," I nodded, "I want to take a bath." For some reason, I felt very dirty.

"Alright," He answered and began to prepare for it.

Leroy drew me a bath and like usual, he shampooed my hair. He also scrubs my neck, arms, hand,legs and feet, then leaves after which I do the rest myself.

Although many nobles don't mind having all of them cleaned by an attendant of the opposite sex. There has been a boundary between me and Leroy and I quite like that. He's like a decent mannered friend and we both cheresh that fact.

He's very caring, and he cares for me like family and in this cold place, that means a lot to me.

I submerged myself lower in the bathtub, just barely keeping my nose above the water to breathe as I thought about some things.

Since I've woken up I'm sort of feeling really alone. I'm missing my family a lot today.

I wonder….

How much did my parents cry when they found out I died? I was their only daughter and we all were quite attached to each other.

I felt my chest tighten.

I wonder how devastated Natsu must have been, knowing his best friend is gone forever.

I felt my eyes sting a little.

My family…

My mom, who would wake me up in the morning with threats and then present me with the best breakfast.

My dad who quietly read his newspaper whenever there was a fight or yelling in the house, especially when mom was scolding me and Natsu. He would spare us a glance and nod his head to say he was fine with whatever we were doing. It would instantly make everything better.

And Natsu, the biggest support of my life. When we were kids, we fought like dogs but as we grew up we got so attached to each other, we wouldn't go to any event without each other.

A tear slipped down my cheek, into the bathtub, disappearing into the countless liquid drops that made that bath water.

I wonder.

Did mom make food for me again? Forgetting I'm no longer there?

Does dad still call my name when he's looking for the remote?

Did Natsu accidentally buy concert tickets for me, forgetting I won't be able to attend anymore now?

They must be missing me everyday…

My chest hurt but at the same time it felt so hollow. In the silent bathroom where everything stood unnaturally still, I got really emotional thinking about the people, the only people I could really call mine.

I miss them so much today.

A few more tears slipped down my eyes.

I miss them a lot…

***

I explained the whole thing to Leon and he agreed.

Now what's left is to get rid of that guy in the brothel and hand him to Kaan. Now that I think about it, maybe I should take Kaan with me to the brothel? Have him meet with the demons there so that there is no misunderstanding.

I nodded to myself.

That's a really good plan! I'll go talk to him!

I left my room and walked to his, only to find out that he wasn't there.

Hmm

I wonder, did he go to the library again? He's been visiting that place a lot.

I began to walk towards the royal library but on my way I passed by many familiar faces.

Hmm?

Why do all the servants look so familiar?

It was odd but I brushed it off and went inside the library, only to find Kaan sitting near the window desk reading a novel.

It made me smile, seeing him so immersed in a book. I approached him to talk but before I could say anything the cover of the novel caught my attention and I came to a halt near the desk.

This book!

I looked at the novel and flinched.

"I've read it," I smiled and Kaan paused to look at me. How could this be! This was strange, "I don't remember when I read it but I know I've read it." I further said which perplexed me.

Kaan smiled back, "I'm almost at the finish." He looked at me, "Don't spoil it for me, I quite like the story."

I grinned back, "I won't," I sat down on the spare chair near the desk, "How do you like it so far."

He placed his finger in the book as a bookmark and closed it, "Well, our protagonist has been betrayed by everyone except his best friend."

"Ah!" I clapped my hands once, "You're in for a surprise then." Kaan raised his eyebrows at me.

"I have a feeling where this is going." He grinned

I grinned back, "It was a good book." But why do I remember it?

Unexpectedly, as we both talked, we started talking about some other books we had read and even though I don't remember reading any of them, I knew many by heart.

And we both shared our views about many stories and time just flew by.

It was weird.

Why do I know so much? It was coming to me so naturally, it was sort of scaring me yet there was a very large part of me that just wanted to leave it as it was and ignore the reasoning.

"Oh right!" I suddenly remembered the real reason I came to find him, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes?" He responded.

"Would you come to the brothel with me?"

He froze for a moment, "Yes?" He looked a little confused, "Did you- change your mind or something?"

I shook my head, "I'm still taking Leon with me," I told him, "But I thought you might want to go too, your subordinates might be the ones that noble is meeting there."

"Ah…" He sighed rather disappointedly, "I misunderstood." He whispered in a very low voice as he looked down.

"Yes?"

He looked back up at me, "Nothing." He thought about what I said then, "I think it might be best if I don't go." He answered after a while.

"Really?" I was a bit surprised, I thought he'd want to go.

"Although in this form I resemble a human a lot," He pointed at his horns, "These can't be hidden."

"Oh…" I understood what he meant, "Right, you'll be recognized immediately."

"And you might not find the man you're looking for."

I see… I thought about it again.

"But on that note." I said, "Can't your people help?" I looked at him desperately, "If they recognize you, they'll come straight to you."

"Well, that's true." He thought about it further, "The only risk is, what if they're meeting that man there for the first time as well?" He made sound logic, "Then you'll never be able to find him." He leaned back in his chair, "I'd rather wait here."

"Alright." I nodded, "Fair enough." I passed him a smile and he did the same

***

It was getting dark but before going to my room, I decided to take a look at the royal study. The purpose was to see how long Leonidas spent doing my work for me and honestly speaking when I reached the study and saw him working on the documents, I actually felt bad for him.

Poor guy, his good heart landed him here in this dump and well, there's also the fact that I'm useless.

I entered the room and he looked up at me, "Sorin," He seemed tired.

"Hey," I waved my hand and walked up to him, "How are you holding up?" I stood next to him and ruffled his hair, "You're doing a good job?!" I showed him a toothy grin.

"Hey!" He straightened his hair down, "Of course I am," He seemed proud.

"You must be cursing me for putting it all on you." I then looked at him pitifully when he spared me a glance.

He pouted his lips a little, "No," He answered softly, "Not really." He cleared his throat, "You can come back when you're ready."

My heart melted at his words. He's such a sweet kid!

At that moment, I couldn't help myself and hugged him, "You're an amazing person!" My action startled him.

"S-sorin!" He was flustered, "W-why are you hugging me all of the sudden!!"

I rubbed my cheeks with his, "Because you're so cute!" He reminds me of Natsu so much, I really couldn't help it!

"Sorin!" He was embarrassed and that was all the more reason for me to cling onto him more, "Sorin! I-I h-have to work!" I didn't listen to him and I probably wouldn't have gotten off of him anytime soon if it wasn't for the knock on the door.

We both paused when we heard that.

"Your Highness," It was a voice I recognized, "May I come in?" I moved away from Leon and he straightened up while I frowned.

What was this? Whose voice was that?

"Yes," Leon replied and in came a man in his mid forties.

I recognized him almost immediately.

He's Count Ellis. I blinked at myself in confusion. Count Ellis, the second son of Count Rowan and his wife Elenora!! His older brother died because of a sickness and he's taken over the family now.

Wait…

I remember him? I remember his family too?

Right at that moment, something clicked in my mind.

Oh!

Sorin's memories are coming back to me!!