Chapter Four

2009

It had been weeks since Josh's parents dropped by meaning there wasn't much food left to eat. I was now six months pregnant so things were a little rough.

For three whole days Josh hadn't showed up to the apartment. I tried calling him but his phone went straight to voice mail. I could only think of the worst but I didn't want to stress myself out, it would be bad for the baby. I couldn't get the police involved just yet because our living condition was a risk. We could lose Royalty. Ever since Josh's parents stopped paying for Royalty's education she's been staying home. She just colors her books and scribbles on paper all day. Basically what she used to do at school.

Royalty stopped visiting them as well, meaning no gifts of hers to sale for money.

"Here you go sweetie. "I told Royalty handing her a sandwich on a plate. She frowned but started eating anyway. I don't blame her for frowning.... We had sandwiches everyday for three days for three meals each day.

"Where's daddy? "Royalty asked as she clearly forced herself to eat the sandwich.

"I don't know but he'll be back..... Its probably some work stuff that's got him gone for this long. "I told her, barely convinced myself.

After eating half of the sandwich Royalty assembled a whole movie set with what was left. I just watched. Kids really be on some weird roller coaster.

"I'm going to check on our laundry okay...... I'll be back. "I told Royalty and headed to the door. Before I could reach the door five men in masks stormed into the apartment. Two of the men were carrying Josh by his amrs in a position that looked so uncomfortable. Josh looked beaten up really bad because his whole face was swollen and blood was coming out of his mouth.

"Daddy! "I heard Royalty scream in terror behind me before she started crying.

"Sweety go to the room! "I ordered her, scared to death myself.

"Oh so that crap of yours was true huh? "One of the men holding him said. The two men let Josh out of their hold, making him hit the floor pretty hard.

"You're lucky motherfucker...... Stay warned though and God bless. "One of the other men said and signaled all five of them to head out. The gang walked out laughing and I quickly locked the door. After I made sure they were gone I rushed to Josh who was beaten up pretty bad.

"I should call an ambulance. "I told Josh sharing my thoughts. I grabbed my phone from my pocket but Josh stopped me.

"We can't afford any of that. "He told me holding my hand not to make the call.

"But what are we going to do? "I asked as tears rushed down my face.

"Anything else babe...... I'm okay. "Josh assured me. He was still laying on the floor. Swaying side to side obviously in pain. I could hear Royalty crying in our room. Even if the gang of men were gone, a child wasn't supposed to see their father like this. Since we couldn't get any medical help I called the woman Josh was friends with from next door. She was like the mother of the block. I never really talked to her but I felt comfortable enough to ask her for help. The woman was Rosemary Smith.

"These are quite minor actually...... You did well to inform me. "Rosemary told us as she cleaned Josh's wounds.

Royalty was sitting on Josh's lap facing him, her arms wrapped around him and her head on his chest.

I was sitting on a kitchen chair, watching Rosemary. "I was a nurse for a good thirty years you know. "She continued. She was an older woman. She couldn't even tell that no one was really in the right state of mind to talk.

"Thank you so much. "I told Rosemary when she was done and leaving the apartment.

"I'm always here for you three whenever you need me. "She told me with a big smile and went on her way. She was such a sweet woman.

I locked up for the night. Royalty fell asleep already so Josh put her to bed. He song her two of her favorite Beyonce songs before he left her side. She was sleeping but he still sang for her like he always did. His voice was angelic...... I'm not even trying to gas him up, it was just true.

"I'm sorry about today. "Josh told me when we were in our bed together both heads up looking to the ceiling.

"Where were you for the past three days? "I asked Josh.

"Who knows...... It was a dark room that I couldn't really see anything in. "He replied.

"What happened? "I asked him.

"I just wanted to change things for us you know......... I wanted to move out of this shitty apartment..... I wanted Royalty to have cake on her birthday..... Maybe get her back into school too. "Josh replied.

"What did you do? "I asked him.

"I stole a bag of money from work....... I barely walked out with it. I don't know how those men are connected to the money but they made sure I was sorry for taking it. "He told me.

"Why did they say you were lucky earlier? "I asked him.

"I begged them not to kill me because I had a family. "He explained. "I was just trying to help us out but I guess I couldn't do that as well. "Josh told me.

"I know you want better. We both do but we need to take a day at a time. "I told Josh.

"You just don't get how much it fucks me up that I can't provide enough for you and Royalty. "Josh told me and sat up.

"You feed your negativity do you know that....... Royalty and I are fine enough but you keep putting this pressure on yourself like we demand things from you. "I told Josh after I sat up too.

"You don't have to demand things for me to know that you want and need them. "Josh told me without looking at me. I went on to hug him. When he got into his negative circle it was hard to get him out.

"I love you. We love you. All three of us. "I told Josh. He kissed my forehead and told me that he knew.

"My parents told me that I'd regret not going to college.... That this music thing will result in me dying a poor man that nobody knows. I want to prove them wrong. "Josh told me.

"My parents told me that my "bad decisions will cost me"........ Whether I prove them right or not.... At least I did what I thought would make me happy. "I told Josh. He looked at me and smiled. "Its about your happiness babe....... Your voice is amazing okay.... We just need a platform for you to thrive in. "I told him.

"Yah maybe. "He replied.

"If someone did see you..... Loved your music.... Made a deal. What would you get first with the money. "I asked Josh. When I asked my question his face lit up.

"A house for starters....... I'd pay all my shitty loans...... I'd take you to whatever mall you wanted to go to..... Give you my card and let you do your thing....... I'd buy Royalty every pink object I can find and decorate a room for her that she deserves....... A Porsche........ Shoes and unlimited wrist watches....... Food.... God Food. "Josh said making me laugh.

"Food really babe. "I told him.

"Yah...... I'm tired of the food we have everyday. "He told me. After our share we both went quiet. The life Josh described wasn't impossible but there was no magic in this world to bring it to us in a click. We had to work hard for it.