chapter 9: I don't like her, I like you.

He touched my cheek with his index finger, slowly and gently.

"God... cute..." after doing that he left the table and went to the toilet.

What was that supposed to mean Aiden? Does doing these kinds of things mean nothing to you? Does playing with others feel fun to you? I'm filled with a mix of frustration and embarrassment. Can't deny that what he said makes my heart flutter. I can feel that my cheeks started to get hot and maybe red. I continued pretending to sleep until the teacher came.

During the break I refuse to spend a lot of time in the class just to avoid Aiden. I also spend a very little time only at the canteen because I'm scared that Aiden will come and find me. Fucking delusional. Bitch really thinks that his crush does like him.

"Why are we suddenly eating here? Why not at the canteen?" Fadly asked

"Han wanted to eat here, I don't know why though" Samuel replied. After saying that, all three of them turn their heads and look at me, waiting for me to give the reason why.

"Why not? We are trendsetters! This place is going to be used during break time starting from tomorrow, trust me!" I joked

"You tryna avoid Aiden isn't it?" Fadly suddenly said. I look at him with wrinkles on the forehead acting confused on why he said that even though I feel like about to explode in surprise because how the fuck did this dude know!

"Hah? Of course not. Why would I avoid him? Plus why would he wants to see me..."

"We have been friends for pretty long, you've never slept before the first period came and today you did. Be honest, you pretend to be asleep so that you can ignore what Aiden said to you right? Like ain't no way you fall asleep in less than 10 seconds, be for real dude" he was right. I just look at him with a surprise expression. I got nothing to say.

"You really did that Han? Omg why? What was the reason?" Kim asked

"Did he hurted you?" Yes Samuel, he did hurt me. And it's so painful that everytime I hear the letter 'a', I think of him and how unfortunate I am for falling in love with a straight man who is seeking my help to get his crush. But I'll be a loser if I show my friends my weak side...

"He's getting on my nerves... just that... I'll try to stop this bad attitude."

We chatted for a few minutes when suddenly a junior told me that a teacher wanted me to see her. I quickly made my way to the teacher's room as the break time was only 10 minutes away from finishing.

*

"Yes Sir Eric?"

"Oh Han! Thank you for coming"

"Ah? Oh yeah you're welcome... Why did you want to see me sir?"

"No, I was just thinking... are you free next week after school?"

"Next week... I'm pretty sure I am... why sir?"

"I just wanted you to help me with some stuff, if you're fine with it though"

"If it's organizing then I'm glad to help you sir"

"Great! Umm so next week, after school. Don't forget! Now go back to your class, it's almost past the break time!" I walked out of his room after saying my bye. Right after few steps away from the room, I was greeted by Sarah

"Han, where did you come from?"

"Sir Eric's room... where are you heading?"

"Submitting these chemistry homework papers. Oh yeah Han... can I ask you one thing?"

"Yeah sure we're friends so why not? What is it?"

"So... I was thinking... Can you give me Saff's number? Please don't ask me why! And don't tell anyone please!" She begged me. I left a big smile on my face. These two are actually in love with each other, just too afraid to tell. Sarah then gave me a small white paper and a pencil for me to write down his number. Thankfully I still remember.

"Thank you Han for the number! Bye!" She said loudly and walked to their chemistry teacher. She's probably too excited until she doesn't realize that she's actually saying it loudly and people are looking at her. I just smile and watch her walking away, thinking about how cute Saff and Sarah could be if they are together.

Forgot to mention, Sir Eric room is inside a room that is next to the main lobby of the school. So in order to go back to my class, I have to pass through two different doors. First the one that allows me to enter the lobby and second is the one that leads me to enter Sir Eric's room. When I opened the lobby door, on my way back to the class, I was greeted by the person who I totally didn't want to see at the moment. Of course it was Aiden. Why? Just why? The smile that I had on my face suddenly dropped when I saw Aiden standing right in front of me.

Aiden then grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the lobby so that the teachers couldn't see him.

"Why did you smile?" He asked

"I didn't smile"

"You did, I saw it. You were smiling then you saw me and you stopped smiling. Do you hate me?" Yes i do Aiden.

"No? Why are you being so sudden?"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" I went silent after the question as I don't have any reasonable or valid excuse for that.

"I forgot"

"Oh really? Let me suggest to you one thing, how about you reply to someone's texts that are still unreplied, instead of giving another person your number?" I look at him with a confused face. I couldn't understand what he's saying. Me giving someone my number? Excuse me, I don't give my numbers, people give me their numbers! Asking people for their numbers? That would be so low of me

"What are you saying? I don't understand!"

"You like Sarah don't you!"

"Hah?! Dude what-" my words were cutted by him

"What does she have that I don't have?! You're crazy!" A pussy, obviously

"Aiden! Sarah is not my crush the fuck?!"

He then went silent for a pretty long time. Maybe he was trying to comprehend what I just said.

"She's not your crush?"

"No... She's only a friend" again, silence between. Until he broke it

"Do you have a crush on Han?"

I felt like at that moment time stopped. It felt like everything around me was either slowed down or frozen. The annoyed expression I showed slowly changes to silently surprise one. I stared at him for a good seconds, vacillate between to just say no or to openly say that he's the one that keeping me up all nights, reason why I am excited to go to school, cause of why I don't think waking up early and exhausted after doing a careful makeup every morning is worth it. To tell him that he's my crush...

"I have someone who I am in love with... He really... I just hope that in another universe I would be able to date him..."

"Why? He rejected you?" He asked me

"He already got someone in mind to date, unfortunately it will never be me"

I look at my right side, avoiding eye contact between us. I tried not to cry, repeatedly took deep breaths. It was awkwardly silent so I decided to ask him back.

"Anyways, how are you and your crush doing?" Adding the salts to the wounds they say, got to be prepared for the bomb of agony.

"Huh? What crush? Who?" The bomb of agony was just canceled

"Bitch how would I know? You told me two days ago that you need my help with your crush and you asked me who?"

I can hear him muttering "my crush? Who is my crush?"

The bomb of agony was changed to bomb of 'fuck you fukboy' this dude is a fucking playboy and I can't believe that he is my crush.

After pretty long seconds he suddenly let out a huge gasp and looked at me with very wide eyes.

"U-um my crush! Y-yeah my crush we're good!" he stuttering. This boy was either surprised because he just remembered that he, maybe, accidentally told me he has a crush on a girl, or just realized that he openly showed how a playboy he is.

"How can you forget that you asked for my help?"

"I didn't! I just... You know what, yes I forgot" this dude really thinks of our conversation as nothing. I remember every single conversation we had but he didn't. Just another solid evidence that he thinks of me as nothing like a crush.

"Yeah umm I-I managed to talk to her and... S-she even complimented me! Yeah! I don't know about you but i started to think that she likes me too"

Talking to this dude is so painful. Have to deal with his narcissism and my one sided love towards him. I chose to just laugh, of course fake, and told him I'm going to class. If only he knows, how much I wanted to cry. I found myself clenching my fist. All I could think at that time was, I want to go back home.