chapter 20: she is finally his

I speculate Aiden was the one who threw my letters away, which is a very negative assumption and I totally didn't like to do it. However there's no one else to blame other than Aiden. Aiden is a tough guy, if he was even threatened or forced to throw the letters away, he would have fought them. He would refuse to be treated as a loser but if it's not him then who? But it was impossible for Aiden to be the one who threw the letters away because there's absolutely no reason for him to do it.

Aiden is home late like what he told earlier so I decided to take this opportunity to check his room. Although I refuse to think that Aiden was the one who threw my letters into the trash, I can't help but to think that it was him. I went to his table where his bag is on. When I opened the zip and looked into it, it felt as if time had stopped. I was frozen in shock. There are several letters, with my name written by the senders, filled in his bag. I can't believe what I just saw, there's really no one else to blame, Aiden was really the person who threw my letters away. But why?

I took them out of his bag and counted them. There were a total of ten letters, that didn't include those from the trash earlier. As I stood still trying to comprehend what was happening, why did Aiden do this, someone opened the door.

"Han? What are you- Why are you looking inside my bag?" He asked me in a furious tone while walking towards me and snatched the bag from me.

"Aiden... Why are my letters inside your bag?"

"Some of the boys asked me to give them to you." He answered without stuttering.

"Then why didn't you give them to me?"

"I was about to."

"From yesterday, where were the letters?"

"I don't know, there was none." And at this point, I'm tired of his lies.

"Don't you dare lie to me Aiden! Why did you throw away my letters? Those letters are mine!"

There was silence between us, my loud voices echoing in the room. Aiden widened his eyes, probably in surprise that I knew he's the one who threw my letters.

"Why do you care so much about the letters?" He asked me suddenly, it was so unexpected that I couldn't really catch what he's asking.

"What?"

"Why the fuck you care so much about those letters?! You don't like them, you just give them hopes by accepting and reading them! Was it fun for you to play with their feelings?! Accepting their letters, quietly flirting with them as if I didn't notice that?!" He grabbed his hairs and pulled them upwards harshly while laughing in annoyance.

"You gave them hopes that you like them, you secretly enjoy the attention, isn't it? You led these people on, all while you were dating Saff! Ha! What the fuck is wrong with you Han?! Aren't you embarrassed to be a cheap disgusting gay whore?!" I started to pressed my lips tightly together, struggling to contain the surge of emotions unleashed by the offensive insults. A storm of frustration and hurt is brewing in me, and I can't help but to let it out.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?! If you don't know what those letters meant to me then don't assume nonsense! I'm not like you! A jerk who constantly gives someone hope! A fucking fuckboy that likes the attention given to him!"

"At least I will make it clear to the people who have a crush on me that I have already got myself a girl! Unlike you and your stupid boy Saff!" The red in me started to turn into blue, the word 'girl' he just said felt like I just fell from the high. I can feel my heart wrenching in pain, however I started this war, my ego is too high and refuse to lose.

"Fuck you Aiden! I have already told you, Saff and I are only friends! We started to get close because he wanted my help to get Sarah! But you know what? Saff is probably a much better option than you! At least he didn't lie to me about wanting my help. Totally unlike you who lied to me about wanting my help to get your dream girl! Although until now he still has not, not even once, mentioned about his 'girl'! A fucking liar." I took a deep breath after the very long sentences without proper breath control. I lifted my head up to see him and he just stared at the ground with no words, did I take it way too far? I started to regret...

"You know what Han? I'm not a liar. I still have a crush towards that girl and I do love her so dearly that everynight before I sleep she's the one I think about. She's the girl that I'm dreaming to kiss, to hug, to sleep and to fuck with. The reason why I didn't mention her to you anymore was because I figured that you might find me annoying if I constantly talking about her, that's why I never once ask you to help me to get her." My heart sank once again, drowning deeper than how I could ever have imagined it could be. With my mouth shut, no words I can ever say to reply to him, I am just too speechless by how in love he is towards that girl.

"Since you think that I am a liar, tomorrow, I will confess my feelings toward her. I want you to stand right next to us, look and listen clearly, to every word I left from my mouth. I want you to witness the confession of my love to her, if that's what it takes for you to stop thinking of me as a liar." When I thought that he would save me from drowning even deeper, instead, he pushed me even deeper into the water. I can't find a word to release, all I can think right now is how much I want to hug him and cry my eyes out. How much I want to tell him to not force me to witness his confession, how much I want him to not confess to her, how much I want him to listen to my confession instead and love me back.

"Tomorrow, during break time... I'm going to my room." I walked out of his room, holding the water that was about to fall to my cheeks. No, this is not just a simple cry where tears fall down, this is the cry where my nose will be extremely stuffed, I'll have to scream, breaking things and pulling my hairs.

*

The next day came, how I wish I could just escape school today. But my ego is too high and Aiden will see me as a loser if I am absent. Again, I'm the one who started this war, I should also be there for this war to end. Like yesterday, Aiden went to school early without me today. Don't know whether I should be grateful that I don't have to be stuck in an awkward ride, or disappointed because I can't see him.

At school when I walk in the hallway, it is finally like how it was before. Boys giving me letters. Aiden's words suddenly came back at me again, about how I might get their hopes up by kindly accepting their letter. It was nice seeing these boys giving me their confession letters, however the thought of I have to witness Aiden's confession later just break me.

*

How I wished breaktime came faster, I wish it just never came today. But who am I to stop time?

"Let's go to the canteen Han. It's break time already." Fadly told me.

"You go ahead, I have to do something..."

"Something? What something?" Fadly sits again after hearing my excuse.

"Aiden asked me to witness his confession later..."

"What a weird guy. Why would he ask you to do stupid thing like that? Who's the girl though?"

"I also don't know Fadly..." I fake a smile to him. Suddenly someone came to my desk.

"At the lobby now. She's already waiting for me there." He said and walked away.

"Why is he acting so cold towards you lately? It's starting to piss me off." Fadly said.

"I will go to the lobby, you can go to the canteen with Kim and Samuel if you want too."

"No! We're coming with you. Asking someone to witness your confession is weird and suspicious. Not to mention at the lobby? What is he? An attention seeker? I will call Kim and Samuel!" Fadly said as he ran to call them.

"What is happening between you and Aiden, Han?" Kim asked.

"I also don't know Kim... It happened just so sudden."

The door before entering the lobby is transparent as it is made from glass. We can see that there are a lot of students gathering there, surrounding Aiden and a girl who are in the middle.

"Who's that girl?" Kim asked.

"It seems like it's a junior, if I'm not mistaken her name is Mabel. She's once got punished by the teachers for purposely wearing the school uniform extremely tight and small. You can see her body shape, even her breast figure." Samuel explained. He was right, Mabel is so beautiful. She's one of the popular girls in this school. She's a gorgeous blond with brown coloured eyes, plumb red lips, sexy body shape and her breasts look so visible in size. Any straight boy would love her. Kim also once had a crush towards her until he realizes how much like a whore she is.

"Let's enter guys..." The moment I opened the lobby door, all eyes were on me. The lobby was filled with whispers. Aiden looked at me for a second and quickly looked back at Mabel. Like how he asked, I walked closer to them until I'm standing right between the two. He held both of her hands and started his action.

"Mabel, I actually have had a crush on you for a very long time. The last two years, when you were first transferred to this school, the moment you entered the lobby, it was the moment I fell in love with you at first sight. For two years, I have held this feeling from you and today, I'll express them to you. Mabel, I like you. I like you Mabel!"

"Fuck this dramatic shits. I like you too Aiden!" The moment she said that, I quickly turned my head to Aiden's face. For the first time, I can see his face lights up, his most genuine smile yet. He then pulled Mabel into his arms and they hugged so tightly.

The lobby was filled with claps and applause from other students. It was loud, but why does it sound like silence to me? Is it because of how desperate I am feeling right now? Is it because how awkward it is right now for me standing up, still like a tree while watching my crush hugging his dream girl so tightly? Or is it because the war just finished? I don't know. I just want to go home and cry...

Aiden finally let go of Mabel from his hug. Even after the hug, he was still smiling like he just won a contest, but to hide it would be dishonest isn't it? He deserves to be happy, and I should be happy for him. Aiden then holds Mabel's hand and raises both hands to the air.

"From today on, Mabel is my girlfriend. She or I shall not receive any letters from our admirers. Thank you for respecting our relationship!" The moment after he said that, the lobby was once again filled with the students cheering. It would make me a loser if I didn't join them so I ended up clapping and smiling at Aiden even if it was all just an act. Aiden then returned a smile to me, the smile that I wish will be mine and forever be mine, sadly, it just will never be. It caught me by surprise when he smiled back at me, however I managed to keep it professional and mouthed him a "congratulations" in the loud cheering from other students.

And just like that, the guy who I secretly fell in love with, had a crush on, managed to get a happy ending. Finally the girl he was chasing after for two years is his. Aiden, congratulations. You deserve to be happy, my friend.

The End (Check the Author's Thoughts)