the real battle
" papa....papa wake up! " feeling my daughters weight on my chest I stirred awake
" Ahhhh...you have awoken the slumbering beast and now must pay the price. " I sat up grabbing Emily, tickling her while she laughed trying to get away
" I'm sorry my king I tried to keep her away The queen didn't want anyone to wake you yet." lazza rushed in through the open door too late to catch the little princess
" it's fine lazza,can you have someone prepare some food for me please. " she bowed leaving to get a maid and talk to the cooks
" shouldn't you be at school or something similar? " I asked my daughter getting up with her in my arms " b-but." she tried to make excuses for herself
" no buts young lady you should head back before your mother finds out an gets mad not just at you but me too." She looked at me with wide teary eyes trying to get me to cave and I almost did thankfully I held my ground
" fine..." she gave up seeing me not budge
" ahh don't be mad ill be here when you done. " she still didn't look happy " here...it was on your chest." she looked away shoving a cylindrical device in my hand
" thank you." I made my way to the dining room stopping at the first floor so Emily can get back to her tutors
'Your just going to pretend you can't see them...or is you refuse to face them ' I tried ignoring the demon while I ate but it was getting harder an harder
" it's you they want not me you did this to them not me " I heard it's mocking laughter not in my mind but like it was right next to me
' we both know you don't truly believe that because you know the truth now ' a figure slowly walked into my line of sight " I am you not a demon or whatever you want to try an justify my existence I've only ever been you the part you suppressed the part you kept chained up and I finally got to unleash our wrath on like we always wanted."
" Shut up!, I didn't want this I changed I'm not like that anymore I've moved past that part of my life. " his laughter resonated around me
" another lie do you not remember releasing me because you thought you lost her you didn't change you just did what you always did and went back to how you were before... all these deaths are on your hands and always will be " flashes of what he did while in control entered my mind
villages burning reduced to ash men,woman and children begging for their lives only to be tormented an turned into corpses for his throne " this all happened because of you "
I couldn't take it my mind was being overwhelmed by the images an sounds like he remembered every detail of what happened just to torture me
I threw up the food I just ate scaring a maid that was their in lazza's place while she was out " o god are you alright." the maid tried to help me but when I looked at her i saw a decaying face
Screaming I just out my chair pushing her away all around the room apparition of people manifested with different wounds some disfigured to a point of being unrecognizable as human
At this pont the maid ran out the room to get somebody, feeling something grab my hand I looked down a brown haired little girl was there half her face was burnt down to the bone with almost nothing left
This finally broke me the girl was barley six and her life was unfairly cut short not by some bandit or natural causes but me " i-i-im sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. " I kept repeating myself over an over
" you know what you should do if you truly feel that way."
***
" here are the new reports from the capital and its surrounding areas everything is going back to normal now that the sun is out again"
Birna put some papers on Elise's desk, lifting one Elise went through it's contents until her eyes lost focus and she found herself in a
World of mist in front of the castle ' w-what...'
Something fell in front of her splattering on the ground ,her mind went blank seeing who it was.
When everything went back to normal she opened the giant window in her office and jumped out under the shocked gaze of birna
Flying with all she had towards the castle Elise barely made in time to catch a falling figure rolling on the ground to stop their momentum
" what the fuck is wrong with you!? "
***
Elise slapped me across the face she raised her hand to strike me again but stop looking at the state I was in
" I'm sorry I just i-i can't it's my fault it's me it's always been...me " my body kept trembling as I tried not to look at the apparition around leaning into her chest " what happened to you "
" I-I can see them...all the people it killed...I killed they are all around me just staring while he laughs the memories of it all it to much the pain I caused it's to much " Elise forced me to look at her " that wasn't you it- "
" it is though he isn't a demon he's a part of my soul it has always been me and nothing else "Elise wasn't sure how to respond to my outburst other then holding me closer
" I need you to make a promise " she looked at me curious " promise me to put a stop to me should I lose control of myself again"
" what you can't ask me to do that...how could you even think I would. " I looked deep into her eyes " please Elise your the only one strong enough to stop me thanks to our bond I know that puts a lot of pressure on you but please if you love me as much as you do then please make sure I can still come back to you whole. "
Elise let out a breath " ok....ok but don't you ever try to leave me like this ever again if you can't handle something alone then we will handle it together just speak to me."
" come on. " Elise helped me up an back to the upper part of the castle were our bedroom was " make sure nobody disturbs us. " she said to lazza who caught up to us at some point
Leading me to the bed she started to strip me " Elise please I'm not in the mood " she let out a cute chuckle stripping herself and neatly placing our clothes on our dresser
" I'm not trying to do that it's a old tradition for elven couples "
Laying down she pulled my head to her chest I trembled slight feeling the scar there
" just listen to my heart an let it block out everything else " I wanted to protest but the words died in my throat as I listened to the steady beat of her heart
It sounded healthier then though considering she was missing one ' she really does take good care of her body I could learn a thing or two.' I chuckled at that thought suddenly realizing I could think clearly again the rhythm of her heart was mesmerizing
Snuggling closers to her I let the sound of her heart fill mind allowing me to finally relax an calm down " awww look at you all cuddled up in your wife's embrace...do you honestly think this changes anything your pathetic."
" don't listen to it just focus on me " I was shocked to hear her speak up. " you can hear him? "
"no I just listened to your body like you should be." I laughed lightly at her remark
" yes my love "
.
.
.
For the next couple days we didn't leave the room only leaving our position to eat or go to the bathroom
" ok so let me get this straight you have a dragon named Illian living in your soul now and that's why you can transform into one now?" I nodded " and his ex-lover fused with me turning me into a dragon an she was my imaginary friend I grew up with "
" yes something like that at least if what he told me was true....Elise?" I got a little worried not getting a response from her
" sorry...it's a lot to take in it's not everyday you learn your race was created and those same beings changed you on a fundamental level...don't you feel violated as well?"
" uh... no not really,honestly I get to be a fucking dragon like you what more could i want,what can I say I'm a simple man who's easily pleased "
I felt her body get a little relaxed " besides I think you look more like your true self this way, I remember hearing a certain someone wanted to be a dragon queen when they got older, well...Here you are."
" I'm not a queen. " I shifted on top of her pinning her arms to the sides of her head
" your right,your a goddess "
" someone's feeling better " she said giving me a seductive smile " how can I not when a goddess personally nursed me back to health " leaning down I kissed her
" serious Elise thank you I know I'm a hand full at times,thanks for putting up with all my bullshit." I suddenly felt her hand move to a special part of my body " well...if you really want too thank me there is something I have been waiting months for. "
" gladly. "