discharge from the hospital

I have been battling with cancer for five years. Five long, hard, painful years. I have gone through countless surgeries, therapies, and medicines. I have faced many side effects, complications, and infections. I have lost a lot of weight, hair, and blood.

I feel like a shadow of my former self. A broken shell of a human being. A walking corpse. I can barely recognize myself in the mirror. I can barely feel anything in my body. I can barely breathe.

After I was hospitalized, there were so many tests, surgeries, therapies, and medicines I had to take. It was a really painful experience, seeing it never ending. I just wished to end this suffering, end my life. I thought when I die, I can escape this pain.

I feel lost and hopeless. I don't see any point in living. I don't see any value in myself. I don't see any purpose in my existence. I question everything I believed in. I question everything I experienced. I question everything I am.

What is the meaning of life? Is there a divine plan or a random chance? Is there a benevolent creator or a cruel fate? How can I reconcile my suffering with my faith? How can I find the answers to these questions, or are they unanswerable?

One night, when I woke up to drink some water, I looked around my room. No one was there. It was dark and silent. I felt lonely and scared. I heard someone crying outside of my room. I recognized that voice. It was my mom and dad. So I tried to listen to their conversation.

Mom crying "I-i-i can't do this anymore. I can't watch him suffer like this. He's our only son. He's our everything."

Dad (hugging) "Shh, shh. It's okay, don't cry, dear. Everything will be fine. God is with us."

Mom: "But what if something happens to him? What if we lose him? How will we live without him?"

Dad: "Don't say that. Don't even think that. He's our son. He's our life. He will fight this. He will win this."

Mom looking at him asked "How can you be so calm? How can you be so optimistic? Don't you feel the pain? Don't you feel the fear?"

Dad: "Sigh... Of course I do. I feel it every day. I feel it every night. But I can't let it consume me. I can't let it break me. I have to believe that there is a reason for this. That there is a purpose for this."

Mom looking at him shaking her head: "What reason? What purpose? How can there be any meaning in this suffering? How can there be any justice in this cruelty?"

Dad holding her hand: "I don't know. I don't have an answer. But I have faith. I have faith in God. I have faith in our son. I have faith in us."

Mom wiping her tears: "You're right. You're right. We can't give up. We can't lose hope. We have to trust. We have to pray."

Dad hugging her: "That's right. We can do this. We can get through this. We have each other."

As I heard their conversation, I realized that it's not me alone who's suffering. My parents are also with me. They have been with me through every step of this journey. I never saw them cry when they were in front of me. They always smiled and encouraged me, telling me it's nothing to be worried about.

They look at me with so much love, so much pride, so much gratitude. They have sacrificed so much for me. They have given me so much.

I don't want to disappoint them. Seeing them cry is not something I want. So I try to fight this battle, not for me, but for them. And even if I lose, I don't want them to feel that they didn't do anything for me. I am grateful for such parents. I made a recording, telling my parents everything on my mind. I made it so just in case if I don't survive this cancer, I want them to continue to live a happy life.

***Present time***

After all these years, when I see my mom's genuine smile, I feel happy. After some time, dad also comes back to the room. There I decide to speak what's on my mind in person.

Samarth: Mom, Dad, I want to talk to you.

Dad: Sure, son. What is it?

Mom: Is everything okay?

Samarth: Yes, everything is okay. I just want to say... thank you.

Dad: Thank us? For what?

Samarth: For everything. For being with me through this whole ordeal. For supporting me, loving me, caring for me. For never giving up on me.

Dad: Oh, son. You don't have to thank us. We are your parents. We love you more than anything. You are our miracle.

Mom hugging me: Yes, you are. You are our hero. You are our inspiration. You are our joy.

Samarth: No, you are. You are my miracle. You are my hero. You are my inspiration. You are my joy.

Mom: What are you saying, son?

Samarth: I'm saying... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for being a burden.

Dad: No, no, no. You are not a burden. You are a blessing. You are a gift to us.

Mom: Yes, you are. You are a blessing.You are a our treasure.

Samarth: And I'm saying... I'm ready. I'm ready to face whatever comes next. I'm ready to accept whatever God has planned for me. I'm ready to live or die.

Dad: Don't say that, son. Don't say that. You will live. You will live.

Mom: Yes, you will. You will live.

Samarth: I hope so. I hope so. But if I don't, I want you to know... I'm at peace. I'm at peace with myself. I'm at peace with God. I'm at peace with you.

Dad: We are at peace too, son. We are at peace too.

Mom: We are at peace too, son. We are at peace too.

They kiss me gently, and I feel their tears, their smile, their lips. I feel their faith, their hope, their trust. I feel free.

Samarth: I love you. I love you more than words can say. I love you more than life itself. I love you with all my heart.

Dad: We love you too, son. We love you too.

Mom: We love you too, son. We love you too.

They hug me tightly, and I feel their warmth, their heartbeat, their breath. I feel their love, their pride, their gratitude. I feel alive.

***next day***

Today, I finally got the discharge from the hospital. I can finally go home after a year of staying in this place. I can finally see my room, my bed, my things. I can finally feel the warmth, the comfort, the familiarity. I can finally breathe the fresh air, the natural light, the peaceful silence.

I am in the recovery phase of cancer. I have to go for regular check-ups, scans, and tests. I have to take medications, supplements, and injections. I have to follow a strict diet, exercise, and lifestyle. I have to be careful, cautious, and vigilant.

But I still have questions about the meaning of life, the existence of God, and the suffering of people. I wonder why I had to go through this ordeal. I wonder why some people are cured and some are not. I wonder why some people have more and some have less. I wonder why there is so much injustice and inequality in the world. I wonder if there is a reason for everything or if everything is random.

I don't have the answers to these questions. I don't know if anyone does. I don't know if I will ever find out. I don't know if it matters. I don't know if I should care.

One day, my uncle comes to visit me. His name is abhijit sharma. He is my father's cousin who helped us financially during my treatment. He is a retired teacher, a passionate traveler, and a wise mentor. He is like a godfather to me.

He hugs me and congratulates me on my recovery. He tells me how proud he is of me and how happy he is for me. He asks me about my plans, my goals, and my dreams. And offers me his guidance, his support, and his resources. He tells me that I have a bright future ahead of me and that he will always be there for me.

At night after dinner i was looking for uncle abhijit i believe he have the answers i was looking for and maybe he can tell me more about has traveling story's.