37.2: Heat (18+)

By the fourth morning, my wolf was on edge. Every little noise brought a growl through my chest. Celeste's scent. . . If it was amplified before then I don't even know how to describe it now. Being near her was hard but being away was not an option. Neither of us wanted to part from the other. Hands reached out across the bed, grasping onto wrists or legs when one of us made a move to leave for even a moment.

Yesterday, I had Jared drop off some paperwork that I had pushed aside momentarily but now I couldn't even give it the tiniest bit of my attention. Instead, my eyes tracked her every move.

We mixed together one of the pastes Zay had left us when Celeste's pain began to grow. It was rough on my fingers but as I spread it across the bottom of her stomach, the feeling of the herby substance between my hands and her soft skin became entrancing. Even more entrancing was when her sighs of relief turned to uneven breaths, breaking past her lips as she struggled to stay still. The scent of her arousal hit me hard and I found myself biting my lip.

She had been laying between my legs, her back to my chest. My hands continued their diligent work as I buried my nose first in her hair, inviting her scent to consume me. It consumed me all too much and I soon found my lips on her temple. My nose stayed to her temple, my eyes closing as I absorbed her sounds. "Xavier. . ." The needy noise had my eyes flashing open. I fought my wolf for control. A growl escaped me. Her thighs pressed to one another. My hands stilled. Only for a moment. One hand pressed her further to me and the other came to her chin, smearing the herbs on her as I craned her head to me. Our lips met in a fervor. She slipped from my hold, turning to face me. Her own hands cupped my cheeks as she kissed me. My hands, still slightly covered in the herb paste, moved to her clothed hips. I pulled her flush to me, letting her feel the hardness that ached for her. Throbbed for her. The image crossed my mind. Of her panting, begging beneath me as I slid into her. A growl escaped my lips and I flipped us around, taking both of her hands in mine and pinning them above her. Likewise, I pinned her hips with mine.

Her eyes stared at mine, wide and unsure. "Celeste," I say slowly, loosening my hold on her wrists. "I can stop."

"I. ."

"It's okay, Celeste." I pressed my lips between her eyebrows.

"I'm just. . Scared. ." My heart shattered. Scared. . Of me? "I never. ."

"You can trust me," my voice comes out in a whisper, "but we also don't have to do anything." My lips moved to the tip of her nose. Then her cheek. Then the corner of her lips. "I would wait forever for you to be ready, Celeste."

"I want to, Xavier. . Just. ." She lets out a huff. "I don't know." She turns her head away from me.

"Well," I let my lips trail her jaw, "how about, we try things." I don't know if she realizes when she opens her neck to me but I take full advantage, pressing slow deliberate kisses to her bare skin. "And you tell me what you did or didn't like." I pull a bit of her flesh between my teeth, giving a harsh nip that has her hips buckling against mine. "We can stop at any point." I trail my nose back up her neck, pressing a kiss just below her ear. "How does that sound?"

"Can we not. . ." She trails off again and I see her skin turn that beautiful shade of pink.

I chuckle. "Celeste, we aren't going to have sex until you're not in heat." She breathes a sigh of relief. "But I feel like, you're probably only thinking of penetration."

"Xavier!" She tries to pull her hands out of my grip but I tighten my hold.

I chuckle again, a smile on my lips. "I want you to be comfortable talking about sex. It's important in a relationship."

"I just. . I don't. . Xavier," she whines.

"Rule one, learn to say yes or no. Tell me what you liked and didn't like. Anything you decide you want to try. I won't push you into anything I don't think you wouldn't like." My teeth catch another bit of skin on her neck, nipping it harshly. Her hips buckle against mine again and I blow a breath of air onto the spot. Her breath hitches in her throat. "If you'd like, we can pick a word."

"A word?" I nod against her neck, pulling back and catching her confused flustered look.

"A word to make everything stop. Maybe even a word to slow down." She bites her lip, looking away. I bring one my hands down to her face. I wipe away the herb paste that was still a little smudged on her chin. I turn her head back to me.

"I don't know if I can," she whispers.

"Think on it, okay?" She hesitates but nods. "How about you go get cleaned up?" I let go of her other wrist.

"But. ." I press my lips to hers.

"Celeste, as much as I would love to continue right now; this stuff is getting everywhere." I hold my hand up where the herb paste is still between my fingers. It's also on her wrists now as well as still on her chin and it's staining both of our shirts. She blushes but nods. I move off of her and help her up. Before she gets too far, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her back to me.

"Xavier?"

"Just one more moment," I mumble against the back of her shirt. She rests her hands on mine on her stomach. I press my lips between her shoulder blades before letting her go. She turns, staring at me, not saying a word. I give her a small smile and she scurries off to the bathroom. I huff, flopping back in the bed.

Celeste is still in the shower when I return to the room, having gone to the bathroom in her room across the hall to clean up myself. I notice that the herb paste got onto the pillow cases and I decide to change them, finding the spare pillow cases in the hallway storage closet. The shower turns off with a squeak in the bathroom and I find myself glancing at the door every few seconds. The pillows are soft in my hand as I fluff them and place them at the head of the bed. I glance at the door again. Wringing the dirty pillow cases in my hand, I reluctantly go into the closet to throw them in the laundry hamper.

When I turn around, Celeste stands in the doorway of the closet. Water is dripping from her damp hair, down her exposed collarbones, and down to her towel-wrapped form. Her lips part, no words escaping her, as she holds the towel closer to her. I watch as another drop of water falls below her collar bone and traces down between her breasts beneath the towel. She shifts her legs, my eyes darting to the slightly sculpted muscles she has built up over the few weeks of training she's had.

I inhale sharply, turning away and plucking one of my shirts from a hanger. I unbutton it with haste, keeping my eyes away from her. I can feel my wolf close to the edge and my length hardening beneath my sweats. "Xavier?" Her voice is far too entrancing, stirring thoughts and feelings in me no one else ever has. I let out the shaky breath I didn't realize I was still holding in as I turn back to her. Her eyes, wide and confused, watch me as I teeter on my feet before going towards her with a rush. I put the shirt around her shoulders, only able to secure the first button.

"I have to go," I mumble and move past her. The bathroom door slams behind me and I barely register the shaking items on the counter as I turn the water to the coldest setting possible.

I find my hands on the counter after my shower. I can still smell her out there. Even over the smell of my soap in the bathroom air. I watch in the mirror as my eyes shift between a dark shade and their usual green. I force my eyes closed, my jaw clenching, as I convince my wolf to hold himself back. For Celeste's sake. I take in several deep breaths, pushing myself up from the counter and out to the bedroom.

And there she sits. Like a goddess in my bed.

"Xavier, are yo-" I'm across the room in an instant, climbing on the bed and silencing her insecurities in a kiss I can't seem to hold myself back from. Her lips immediately move against mine as a hand comes up to my shoulder. I find myself pushing her back into the bed and climbing over her, one hand on her jaw and the other trailing to her waist, arching her body into mine. The hand on her jaw traces down her throat. My lips follow behind it as a shuddering gasp escapes her lips. She had buttoned the shirt in such a manner that her collarbones were exposed and I trace my lips there too, my tongue darting out to taste her skin. My trailing hand reaches the buttons and I pause, glancing my eyes up to hers. I toy with the button and nibble on the skin right next to it. This time there's zero hesitation as she nods frantically.

"Fuck," I mumble. I keep my eyes on hers as I undo the buttons, trailing my lips between her breasts and down to her stomach. My hands all too eagerly flare out the bottom of her shirt, tracing the soft smooth skin. Her eyes flutter closed as I trace my lips along the waistband of her leggings. I bring my lips back to hers, trailing my hands up under the fabric of the shirt. She moans into my mouth as my thumbs trace the bottom of her breasts. Her skin is so soft and I feel entirely done for. I manage to pull myself away from her lips, sitting back but not putting my weight on her. I hook my thumbs into the fabric that still covers her. "Is this okay?" Her chest heaves up and down as she frantically nods. I tsk. "Words, baby."

"Xavier," the need in her words has me letting out a groan, "please." The plea is good enough for me as I sweep the fabric away from her chest.

Her chest is smooth, her breasts not big but not small - perfectly filling out her frame. I'm surprised at the existence of freckles. They dart up and down her body like a series of stars and I try to make up new constellations on her. My hands glide over the curve of her waist. One of her hands goes to her mouth as she seems to bite the back of her hand and the other goes above her head, grabbing onto the fabric of the pillow. My thumbs brush the bottom of her breasts and I can hear the shuddering moan she lets out between her lips and her hand.

I want to stare at her forever, taking her in like a masterpiece at a museum only the richest people get access to and only once in their life. Instead, I lean back down. I take her hand away from her lips, briefly entangling her in a kiss. She arches herself into me and I enjoy her warmth as I swallow her moan. I pull back until only our breaths touch. "I want to hear you, baby." My hand not holding her wrist gently cups her breast. My hand easily covers the soft skin, squeezing the mound of flesh gently. A broken breath leaves her lips. My lips find the valley of her chest, licking and nipping at the skin there until little red marks appear. My other hand comes down to give equal attention to the opposite breast; I moan at the sparks erupting between her soft skin and my rough hands. I watch with great fascination as I roll her nipple between my fingers. Celeste lets out a high pitched moan and I take her nipple in my mouth, biting at the sensitive flesh.

Her hips begin to rock against mine, seeking a relief I'm almost too distracted to give her. Almost. I snake one of my hands down, hooking her leg around my waist. I grind my length against her clothed core and she lets out a series of shuddering moans.

"Xavier~"

I release her nipple with a 'pop.' "I know, baby." I pull the flesh beside her areola between my teeth, sucking it harshly until I'm sure it leaves a bruise. My hand holding her hip trails the line of skin just above her waistband. I pull and release the fabric, snapping it against her skin, several times. I push myself up, swallowing her next moan. "Tell me to touch you," I mumble between kisses. My other hand continues to knead her breast, occasionally brushing over or rolling her nipple.

"I can't," she whines in frustration.

"I can stop, Celeste." Though I'd really love to continue.

"No-"

I chuckle. "Then use your words." My lips trail her jaw, nipping at her skin.

"Xavier," she whines.

"Okay, baby." I hover above her, catching her eyes that keep fluttering between closed and open. "Just this once." My hand slips beneath her waist band, trailing down to her core that's beyond wet. "Fuck," I mumble, my lips going back to hers. I trail my finger between her lips, feeling the sensitive flesh as she releases a low moan into my mouth. "You're so wet for me." She tries to turn her head away, I think I embarrassed her. I merely snicker, grabbing her chin and turning her back to look me in the eyes. I find her clit, brushing my fingers over it lightly at first. Her hips buckle into my hand. I press harder, earning one of those gorgeous moans as her head falls back, eyes fluttering closed. I roll her bud between my fingers, giving it a quick pinch that has her squealing. Her eyes open wide, mouth opening into an 'O' but no sound comes out. I know she can cum from clitoral stimulation alone and part of me doesn't want to push her any further tonight. Part of me.

I trail my hand further down until my fingers find her entrance. I ease a finger into her, biting my lip as I feel her warmth surround my digit. "Xavier-" my name escapes her lips and I groan.

"That's it, baby." I gently ease my finger in and out of her, feeling the muscles trying to clamp down on the single digit. My thumb goes back to her clit, circling it with a harsh pressure. I pull my upper half back, using my other hand to massage her thigh. I watch her as I add a second finger, she bites her lip. I decide not to say anything on the matter. Not tonight, not right now. I feel her clench around my fingers and I increase my pace. "Celeste," I call to her. Her eyes open just barely, finding mine in the midst of her pleasure. "Cum for me." And she does just that; her hips shuddering, a squeal leaving her lips, as her core clamps down harshly on my fingers. A wave of wetness seeps out between my fingers.

Her body flops back onto the bed as she pants, eyes fluttering close.

She lets out a broken breath as I pull my fingers from her, covered in her wetness. I don't want to stop. I stare at the sticky cum on my fingers, tempted to taste her. But I know if I do, I truly won't stop. And she's had enough for the night. I get up from the bed, pressing my lips briefly to her temple and mumbling my assurance of returning. I return to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from the cabinet after washing my hands. I wet the towel with warm water and return to Celeste. Her eyes are still closed as she tries to regulate her breathing, her bare breasts heaving up and down in the night air. I set the cloth down and sit beside her, pulling her form up into my hold. One hand strokes the skin of her waist while the other runs through her hair. "You did so good, Celeste."

It's several minutes before her breath returns to a normal rate. Even then, I hold her to me. I mumble compliments, telling her just how beautiful she is. Telling her how grateful I am for her to be here. For her to be my mate.

She shifts in my hold, her legs squirming beside mine. I take the cloth, still somewhat warm. "Why don't you clean up," I place it gently in her hand. Her eyes flash up to me, "You'll be more comfortable," I assure her. "And I'll grab us some snacks."

"Can you find-"

"The chocolates?" I give her a smile as she nods, a small smile of her own appearing.