37.3: Heat (18+)

Xavier's POV

It's hard to leave the room. My wolf encourages me to stay. To not leave her side for a moment. To act on my urges and continue our escapades. 

I bring back a fruit salad, the chocolates, and a small selection of cheeses. Celeste is notably in a different pair of leggings when I return, just exiting the closet. The shirt she's wearing is rebuttoned but it doesn't hide all the marks I left on her neck. The temporary little bruises bring a sense of pride to my wolf and I. She blushes, nearly tripping over her own feet, before slipping back into bed. I climb in beside her, setting the food down on my lap. She reaches for a chocolate but I 'slap' her hand away. I turn on a movie, some romantic mushy thing I'm sure she'll love. Again, she reaches for a chocolate. I give her a glare until she retracts her hand. I smile triumphantly, grabbing the colorfully wrapped sweet myself. I untwist the wrapper, holding the chocolate to her lips. Her eyes find mine, darting back to the chocolate then back to me, before she wraps her lips around the chocolate. She bites into half of it, chewing slowly, never taking her eyes off of me. I pop the other half into my mouth, my knuckles brushing over her jaw. 

It's sometime after lunch when she begins to shiver again. I hold her in my arms; she's hot to the touch. Sweat beads her forehead. I feel helpless, pulling her tighter to me as if that'll do a damn thing. Moans of discomfort and pain escape her lips. She buries her head in my neck. Internally, I curse the Goddess. I curse evolution. I curse myself for not having a solution. The reading I did said nothing can stop a heat except an 'attempted fertilization' which felt cruel to our situation. Cruel to any situation really. Wolves should be able to choose when they conceive, not based on some call to nature to produce offspring. 

I recall the first day of her heat. Zay had given her some kind of medication to help her sleep. I debate in my head if it would be wise to do that again. In the end, I link Zay, who tells me that it could help. Maybe. 'Maybe,' she links me. 'It could help her sleep through some of the pain. But her anxieties don't stop with sleep.' She went on to mention Celeste's trauma and I brought up her recent nightmare. She decides to swing by my room, to check on Celeste herself. Her knock on my door has a growl making its way past my lips. I take several steadying breaths, reminding both my wolf and myself that it's only Zay who is here to help Celeste. That we trust Zay, she's one of my best friends and an amazing healer. 

"Xavier," Celeste's shaky voice reaches my ears, "someone's at the door." She sounds out of breath. 

"It's just Zay," I assure her. 

"Zay?" She pulls her head back, glancing at the door before laying her head back on my shoulder in an exhausted slump. I hum my confirmation while I link Zay to come in. I press a kiss to Celeste's temple as Zay enters. 

"Hey guys," Zay says in that soft voice I often hear her talk to Celeste with. She closes the door behind her, coming over to sit on Celeste's side of the bed. Celeste is sitting over my legs, her knees curled up towards my chest. Zay presses the back of her hand to her forehead and cheek. 

"Are-Are your heats this-this bad, Zay?"

Zay gives a half smile, "My first heat after meeting Shia, she was on a trip. I spent two thirds of my day in the tub, constantly draining it as the water ran cold again and again." Celeste gives her own half smile. I brush the hair down near her temple, pushing it behind her ear. "And I was nauseous. So nauseous. I didn't make it to the toilet one time." Her nose scrunches up. "I puked down the side of the tub. It was. . Disgusting," she gives a small laugh. 

"Does it-it-it," Celeste releases a breath as she continues to shiver in my hold. "Does it get better?" 

"Maybe." Zay shrugged. "Mine did but I know wolves whose only got better after their first pregnancy." 

"Celeste," I interrupt. "I was talking to Zay about those meds she gave you on the first day."

"I'll take them." There's a relief in her voice already as her eyes close. 

"Celeste," Zay calls to her. Her eyes open, finding my friend in her gaze. "I can give you some of the sleeping meds. They're completely natural and just encourage certain signals in your brain to go to sleep. That being said, they may not make you actually sleep and could just make you tired."

"Sounds great to-to-to," she huffs, frustrated with the shiver that brings a chatter to her teeth, "to me." 

"Xavier told me about your nightmare the other day." 

"Zay thinks," I twirl a strand of her hair between my fingers, "that you could possibly end up just having more nightmares. I'll be by your side the entire time, I promise." She looks between Zay and I, biting her lip in thought. Then she nods. Zay hands her the bottle, instructing her to take two at a time. 

"You can only have four in a 24 hour period though so choose wisely." Celeste nods, opening the purple lid and pulling out two. I reach over to my nightstand and hand her my glass of water I have there. There's a slight shiver to her hands but she manages. Zay gets up, walking over to my nightstand and looking in the basket she had brought us. She pulls out the herb paste, the last one in there. "I'll bring you more of these." She goes into the bathroom, to put the paste together, and returns with it in a small bowl I had left in there. "Rub this up and down her spine, it should help with the aches." 

"Thank you, Zay." She gives us a small smile before leaving the room.

I gather some of the paste in my hand and massage it into Celeste's spine. She sighs, turning her head back to her neck. She presses her lips softly and slowly to my skin. I hold back a growl as I focus on comforting her. Her shivers continue but at some point she kicks the blanket away. I continue to massage her spine as well as her lower back. "How are you feeling?" My voice was just above a whisper. 

"Tired," she mumbles against my skin. "Still aching a bit." 

"Try to sleep. I'll wake you for dinner." She nods. Her breathing evens out and her shivers stop. I let my eyes close myself, waking hours later to Celeste still soundly asleep in my arms. 

The fifth day starts with a scream. I shoot up out of bed, an intense panic filling me. Celeste is at the foot of the bed, curled into herself as she tightly grips the blanket beneath her. A cry escapes her as I rush to get up. Going around the bed, I crouch in front of her. She bites her lip so harshly that I can see a drop of blood going down her chin. "Hey, hey, Celeste. Look at me." I take one of her hands in mine, the other going to her knee. Her eyes, filled with tears, find mine. "What's going on?" I pull her lip from between her teeth, wiping at the droplet of blood there. 

"It hurts, Xavier." She inhales sharply, her breaths harsh as she cries. "I feel like I'm on fire and my bones are broken." Her hand goes to my shoulder and she all but falls off the bed. I'm quick to catch her. She cries into my shoulder. 

"It's probably the last day, Celeste. It's going to hurt. I'm so sorry." 

"Make it stop," she pleads. I place my hands below her knees and walk us to the bathroom. I try to place her in the bathtub but she clings to me with a strength I'm surprised is in her. I climb in behind her, awkwardly maneuvering us so I can reach the tap to turn on the cold water. It's a shock to my system that I wasn't expecting so early in the morning. Celeste lets out a gasp as the water reaches her.

"It's okay," I assure her. "It's okay." I press my lips to her temple. The cold water surrounds us, soaking our clothes I never paused to do anything about. She tries to regulate her breathing. I reach my hand up and swipe off the drying blood from her chin and lip, turning her chin up to examine her lip. It's stopped bleeding already and the small wound is already healing itself. I pull her head back to my chest and sit back, shivering a bit as I let the water cool her down. At least I hope it will. I wrap my arms around her and cage her into my hold with my knees raised. She lays in my hold, taking focused breaths in and out until the water turns tepid. 

"I'm sorry," she whispers. 

"You and I both know you have nothing to be sorry for." My words come out mumbled against her hair. 

"I feel pathetic," she spits the word. 

"When we have kids-"

"When?"

"If," I place a kiss on her head, "we have kids, when one of them-"

"One of them?"

I roll my eyes. "Will you let me finish?" I lightly pinch her side. 

She lets out a small airy laugh. "Sorry, go ahead." Her hands find one of mine and she traces my fingers, running her own across my palm.

"If we have kids, when one of them gets sick, will you call them pathetic?"

"Of course not." She traces circles across my palm. 

"And when our daughter-"

"Again, when?" I grab her hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. I press my lips harshly and dramatically into her head. "Right," she lets out a laugh, "sorry, sorry."

"And when our hypothetical daughter goes through her first heat, will you call her pathetic?"

"Never." She turns my hand around, laying my palm on her cheek. 

"Exactly. So don't call yourself pathetic right now." She lets out a huff but doesn't respond. 

"Xavier?" Her voice comes out after several minutes of silence. I hum. "I'm starting to get cold."

Despite the meds, Celeste was unable to sleep through most of what we hoped would be her last day. The discomfort, she said, was too much. She compared it to a first shift which made me cringe. The first shift is always unpleasant. The herbs, both the paste and the bags in the bath, did nothing. She said the "feeling of being on fire" kept coming and going. We were able to go back to our early solution of physical attention for that one. It felt as if I was testing my limits more than I ever had. 

She let out another little moan as I left another small bruise along her neck. My wolf and I were both deeply dissatisfied with how quickly these bites healed due to our species' advanced healing. When Celeste and I went to bed at night, the bruises would still be visible, some dark, some light. When we woke in the morning most, if not all of them, would be gone. And the urge to mark her would grow. 

I can only mark Celeste after we are fully mated. I knew that Celeste has been opening up. That she's growing more curious and wanting of our relationship on all levels. But I wouldn't go there while she's in heat. I want her to completely give in but not because of some sway of harsh nature. 

"Xavier," she breathes out. Her hands grip mine locked around her waist. I pull her closer to me, her back against my front. Her thighs press against one another as the scent of her arousal fills the room. 

"Don't tempt me, little one," I grumble in her ear. She lets out a whiny huff. To my surprise, she pushes my hand up towards her breast. I knead it lightly at first as my assault on her neck continues. My other hand escapes her, pushing her shirt up and finding her other breast. I never took note of how she doesn't wear bras until this week. I don't question it, not a complaint in my mind about it. Both her hands flutter down to the sides of the bed, gripping the sheets tightly. I roll her bare nipple between my fingers, pinching it roughly. Her chest thrusts up towards my hands. My lips meet the juncture of her neck where I scrape my teeth. 

"Xavier, please." Her begging turns me on like nothing else; I feel my length hardening behind her. 

"What do you want, Celeste?" I trail my lips back up towards her ear. "Tell me, baby," I command of her. 

"I-I can't." Her words are frustrated as always. I chuckle at her embarrassment. 

"Yes, you can," I coo in her ear, continuing to roll and pinch her nipple in one hand while the other kneaded her opposite breast over the fabric of my shirt she was wearing today. Her thighs press together helplessly as she tries to relieve the ache I knew she wouldn't be able to without me. Not while she's in heat. Though the thought of her touching herself does spring to mind. I almost moan at the thought. 

"Xavier, please," there's almost a cry to her voice now. One of her hands goes back to grabbing my wrist. She tries to pull my hand down, away from her clothed breast, but I don't budge. I won't let her. 

"I let it pass yesterday, Celeste, but I won't today." I bring her earlobe between my teeth, giving it a small nip before going back to placing my lips behind her ear. "Tell me to touch you, Celeste."

"Xavier-" her voice is breathless and she gasps. I harshly pinch her nipple. 

"Say 'Xavier, please touch my cunt,'" I say crudely. She turns bright red. 

"I-I can't-"

"Yes, you can," I encourage firmly. I take a deep whiff of the arousal soaked air. "Goddess, I bet you're dripping by now, baby." At this she tries to pull away but I won't let her do that either. "Tell me, Celeste." I let my hand finally trail down towards her legging clad legs, leisurely tracing my fingers over her now exposed middle, just next to her leggings. "Tell me you want me to touch your pussy," there's a mocking tone in my voice now, "and I'll relieve you of this ache." I snap the waistband of her leggings but never let my hands dip in. 

"Xavier," her begging cries reach a new desperation. "Please," she draws the word out as if that will do anything. 

"Celeste," I warn her with another pinch to her nipple. "If you don't ask properly then you'll never get anywhere."

She tries to regulate her breathing, a technique I've noticed her use on several occasions. I let my hand run briefly under her leggings, returning back above the fabric and snapping it again on her waist. "Xavier," she mumbles, "this isn't fair."

"Just say it, Celeste." My hand trails back up, between her breasts and up her neck. I tilt her chin enough so she can look in my eyes. There's an insecurity in her gaze that I want to smoother. That I want to bury under my affection. That I wish to see diminish under my - I bring my lips lightly to hers, my hand stopping its movements. Just the lightest of touches, our lips to one another. They feather across hers as I speak, "I won't judge you, Celeste. Just say," I press our lips closer together just briefly, "that you want me to touch you."

Her eyes flutter and I can feel her eyelashes graze my cheek. "Xavier," she lets out a low steady breath, "can you. . ."

"Go on, baby." I press my lips to hers again, beginning to trail my hand back down and under her leggings. 

"Will you," she lets out a breath as my hand trails under her underwear and down her patch of hair.

"My Celeste," I coo against her lips. 

"Will you please touch me," the words breathed out quietly against my lips. And I obey. 

My hand meets her wet folds and by Goddess, I'm right. She's fucking soaked. My other hand resumes its role, kneading her breast. Her skin is so fucking soft. Her hips moved against my hand as I lightly trail my fingers around her bud, collecting the seeped wetness as I did. Her lips part, her eyes fluttering closed. "Celeste," I breathe against her lips, "can I try something?" She nods, letting out airy breaths as I press occasional harsh touches to her clit but otherwise touching her lightly. "Celeste," I say with a warning in my voice. 

"Yes, Xavier; please," she begs. She doesn't know what she's begging for and yet she begs for me. So pretty when she does so. My hand leaves her and a protest escapes her lips. I give one more squeeze to her soft chest, running my thumb along the side of her boob before my hand abandons that too. "Nooo, please." The tone brings both a longing to me as well a sense of amusement. I slide out from behind her; her eyes shoot open with a panic.

"It's okay," I assure her. I put my hand on her waist, feeling the soft skin beneath my fingertips. "It's okay." She finds my eyes, her hand wrapping around my wrist. I still for a minute, mumbling back the reassurance until she nods, her hand slowly leaving my skin and leaving behind the tingling buzz. I rest my body over her legs, holding up my weight. Both hands now rest on her waist, thumbs brushing back and forth. Ever so slowly, I lean down to her, my lips meeting hers in a soft melt of shared longing. I brought my hands to her raised shirt, pulling back. I waited for her to give me a nod of confirmation before I lifted it over her head. Small yellowish bruises still littered her breasts and abdomen. I ran the back of my fingers over several of them. Celeste shivered under my touch. She cast her eyes away. I pinched her side, "Eyes on me, beautiful." She flushed but drifted her gaze back to mine. "Good girl." Her lips parted.

I leaned down, trailing my lips from her collar bone, down between her breasts. I gave a small nip to her skin beside her bellybutton. Her breathing began to increase the lower I went. I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her leggings, eyes going back to hers. "Tell me this is okay, Celeste." My lips softly laid over the edge of the fabric. She shied away again and I tsked. "Celeste," I taunted. "You know the rule by now."

"Xavier," she whined. "Please don't make me say it again."

"All I'm asking for is a yes here, baby." She shivered at the pet name. A smile found its way to my lips. "Look at me." My lips pressed to her skin, basking in her warmth. So fucking soft. Her eyes hesitantly found mine. "Just say yes."

She let out a slow breath. "Yes."

"That's my girl." I lowered her leggings and underwear all in one, not wanting to torment the poor girl. I groaned at the sight of her, bare and waiting for me. Her little curls that covered her lower region was different from the other she wolves I had foolishly been with in my younger years. Something about it fascinated me. I ran my hands up her thighs, pressing my thumbs lightly into her skin. I kneeled down, spreading her legs and kissing the path my thumbs had just made on her right thigh. 

"Xavier?" There was an uncertainty in her voice, more cautious than before. "You can't-"

"Celeste," I stop her. My hands still on her thigh, my fingers laying near her core. I hold myself up, staring in her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"What?" Her words are breathy. She tries to move her thighs and I tighten my hold on them. 

"Celeste," my voice is firm, eyes never leaving hers. "Do you trust me?" She breaths, her chest moving enticingly up and down. She doesn't answer. "Because there's no point in any of this if you don't trust me."

"I-I-" My wolf whines. "I do trust you." I breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm just. . nervous."

"I know." I rub my thumbs in circles on her thighs. "I know." Trying to keep my focus is so hard when she's laying here naked. She's so beautiful. "I want you to know," I lean back down, pressing my lips to her lower inner thigh, "that I will always respect your decisions." My lips press a bit higher on her skin. She inhales sharply. "But if we don't try," a bit higher, "then we'll never know." A little higher now. I can smell her sex, her wetness seeping out of her. She's beautiful. It's hard for me to go slow right now. But I do, for her. A breathy moan escapes her as I give a bite to her soft skin. She looks away; I narrow my eyes, deciding to let it slip. One of my hands finds hers, running softly over her knuckles. "Tell me this is okay, Celeste." I let out a breath, directly aiming for her core. She lets out a quivering moan. I give another nibble further up her inner thigh. "Say yes." She nods, still not looking at me. I squeeze her hand. 

The word comes out in a moan, "Ye-s." Without delay, my tongue meets her sex. She lets out the fucking hottest moan I've ever heard in my life. Her hand grips mine tightly as I trace my tongue up between her folds. My other hand stays on her thigh, bothing encouraging her legs to stay wide for me and massaging my thumb gently up and down the skin. Her juices are slightly salty and absolutely fucking addicting. I pull her closer by her thigh as more moans spill from her lips. I dip my tongue into her core, collecting her quickly seeping wetness. "Xav-ier," she moans. I groan against her skin. My fingers trail up, parting her lips to reveal her glistening clit. My eyes trail up; momentarily distracted by her heaving breasts, her nipples hard and aching for an attention of their own. I blow on her clit. Her other hand grasps at the bed sheet, desperately clinging and grasping at the fabric. 

"Baby," I coo, pulling back from her skin. She lets out a whine of protest. My hand leaves her core as well, grabbing her other hand. I bring her hand to my hair and her eyes find mine. I nod my assurance, pressing a kiss to her wrist. "I'm here." She brushes her fingertips through my hair that's getting too long, nodding. I give her a devious smile, keeping my eyes on hers as I return to her core. "Eyes on me."

I lick her slowly, enjoying the way her mouth opens in a silent gasp. I circle her clit with my tongue. My hand goes back to her heat, a single finger tracing her opening. Her hips buckle, as if trying to impale herself on my hand. I nip at her clit and she yelps. "Xavier!" I soothe the ache with my tongue, earning a much longer repeat of my name. My finger eases into her, her walls immediately clasping on the digit. I suck on her bud as my finger pushes in and out of her core. A second finger joins. I curl them inside her, feeling her walls tighten. The hand in my hair grips tightly causing a groan to pass my lips. I squeeze her hand in mine, continuing to suck her bud, simultaneously curling my fingers. "Xavier~" her hips raise off the bed. "I'm gonna-" 

My eyes never leave her. "Cum for me, Celeste." Her core clamps down on my fingers as her hips still. Her legs quiver on either side of me, her hand not letting up in my hair. My tongue lowers, taking in the juices slipping between our joined skin. I moan, her satisfaction is the sexiest thing in existence. I continue to curl my fingers inside her, coaxing a second wave of her orgasm to wash over her. She moans half my name, the other half getting lost in her pleasure.

Her hips slump onto the bed. I pull my fingers out of her, pressing a small kiss to her upper inner thigh. "Good girl." She shudders, her breathing heavy. Her hand falls from my hair. I climb back up her naked form, repeating the praise as well as others as I press my lips to her stomach, her chest, jaw, cheek, and finally her lips. She barely kisses back, eyes fluttering closed as she tries to calm her breathing. I brush my knuckles, over her cheekbone, brushing away a strand of damp hair that was clinging to her skin. "You're so beautiful, Celeste." She says nothing, only squeezing my hand still entwined with hers in response. 

I slowly pull my hand from hers causing her eyes to shoot open. "I'll be right back." I keep her gaze until she nods, pressing a kiss to her shoulder and walking to the bathroom. I grab a clean washcloth, running it under warm water and returning back to Celeste. 

She's beautiful. Always. But something about her laying in my bed, hickies dotting her bare body as she comes down from an orgasm. . I'm pulled to her. 

I clean her thighs gently before running the towel over her soaked core. She groans, trying to close to her legs. I hold her thigh until I'm sure she'll be comfortable. Throwing the washcloth in the hamper in the closet, I return to bed. I return to her. 

I pull the blanket over us, pulling her to me. Her skin is still bare and so warm. Sparks float freely between us. "Celeste?" She hums, resting her head on my shoulder. "Thank you." I trail my finger up and down her soft back. She says nothing and I look down to see her asleep against me. I smile softly. "I love you," I whisper. 

The next morning, I wake with a great sense of ease. Celeste still sleeps against my shoulder, small snores escaping her. Her scent is back to normal; it no longer overwhelms my very being. I sigh in relief, urging myself to go back to sleep with my love in my arms.