The Word XXXX - 3

"…What am I wrong about?" "Urk…"

While she was sobbing, I gently embraced her. "…I…I don't want to say this…I don't…and yet…" "What do you mean?"

"Y-You know…"

Because she was running, and possibly crying even, her breathing was still out of control, not allowing her to continue talking for long. Even so, she was desperately trying to line up her words.

"Since…I didn't think anyone would believe me…I never told anybody. So, you might think of me as a liar. But, I want you to hear me out…You especially…" She rubbed the tears away from her drenched eyes, and looked at me. "…Will you hear me out?"

Ahh…this ain't fair. How could I reject the request of the girl I like? So, I nodded, and she opened her quivering lips.

*

When I was still a child, my parents were fighting a lot. To be more accurate, they were pretty much on the verge of getting a divorce. They were fighting over who would take me in. It's not like they particularly liked me that much. But, they only had me.

Both Mom and Dad were well-established and didn't have to worry about money, but they wanted someone they could give their inheritance to, someone that would look after them when they are older. They would give me sweets, toys, and everything I could have wanted in order to win me over.

"Hey, Mifuyuu. You must XXXX your father more than your mother, right?" "Mifuyuu, your mother really XXXXX you, so you must XXXX her back,

right?"

They are words of kindness and affection that I can't say right now. But, this is how I answered. To Dad it was 'I XXXX Dad more than Mom!', and to Mom it was 'I XXXX Mom more than Dad!'. After all, I XXXX them both. I just ran my mouth since the innocent me back then didn't know any better. At the same time as their relationship grew worse, and with this attitude, their attempts to win me over grew even more intense. I just tried my best to keep them together.

That's when I heard a rumour about a witch living on top of a hill at a nearby town. I took the train all alone, and made my way there. It was a simple rumour, but as I was weak and innocent, I pretty much believed everything… Not to mention that the rumour turned out to be true.

"Witch-san…"

I tried my best to climb up that hill, and finally reached the summit. Nobody was waiting for me there, but I believed that somebody would hear my wish, and answer it.

"Please, I beg you. I XXXX both Mom and Dad. That's why…Them fighting for me…hurting each other…Please make it so that they stop."

A few seconds after I whispered that wish…I heard a voice. It was a beautiful voice, one that sounded wasted on this world.

"…What a luxurious problem to have."

I did believe in the Witch, and I came here in order to meet her. But—the second I saw her for myself, I couldn't utter any words.

"My name is Shell, and the Witch you were hoping to meet. Though, there aren't many people who can actually see me in the first place…And, it seems like you are one of those. I can't tell if you're lucky or unfortunate though."

Although she looked like a witch I'd often see in picture books, she wore a triangular hat with a long robe, and had beautiful long blonde hair. She

looked pretty young because of her small body, but she gave off the aura like she had been living for a hundred years and more.

"My wish is…luxurious?"

"That's right. You are very lavish, and gluttonous."

Because of the night breeze, her hat and robe swayed left and right. As she looked at me, her eyes were filled with a black flame resembling hatred.

"…There are people in this world who can't convey feelings like XXXX, you know. Just like me."

"You have a person you XXXX, Witch-san?" "…I had one. Someone I XXXXX very much."

"And you don't live together in happiness with them?"

Even in stories and fairy tales, the appearing characters all become happy in the end. The princess lives happy-ever-after with the prince, and even the witch will…After all, if she's not a bad witch and grants everybody's wishes, she has the right to be happy.

"Don't think everybody is the same as you."

A cold atmosphere filling the air around me had my shoulders freeze. "Witch-san…?"

"I still remember it vividly…Just a short while ago, like you, there was a girl who could see me. But unlike you, she didn't wish for anything despite knowing that I was a witch. She just wanted to be friends with me."

As I was left bewildered, the witch continued.

"And after that, she came to visit me every day. Always smiling, always next to me. I…always wished that we would be able to stay together, but…" The Witch-san tightly grasped the wand she was holding. "A witch…isn't

allowed to hold feelings such as XXXX towards humans, as this would be selfish. If one did, you'd just be used by that human, and treated like an endless vessel for magic. Granting a human's wish with the power of magic is one thing, but you can't become their tool. That is the law of us witches. It's forbidden for us to hold feelings of XXXX towards humans. That's why, unless it's a particular exception, if a human touches a witch, their skin starts to grow hot, and burn. It's dangerous to have a human around me. And yet, right when I was losing against my loneliness, that girl spent her entire summer with me…and made me hesitate. But, I knew that staying together with her is a bad idea, and that this can't continue. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted us to separate. That's why, summer would be the end of it all, that's what I had decided."

A strong breeze hit us, which had the levees of the tree dancing through the air.

"I…couldn't tell my feelings of XXXX to that girl." Her faintly quivering voice was cold as ice, and sharp. "That's why, I'm honestly envious of people like you who can easily say XXXX just like that."

"…Witch-san?"

There, I realized what careless wish I uttered before. I just selfishly wished, and hurt that witch.

"U-Um, I'm sorry, I…" "—Fine, I'll grant your wish." "…!"

Suddenly, I was enveloped in a strong breeze. Instinctively, I knew. I relied on a power completely out of my comprehension. I relied on magic, something that is far out of my reach. There shouldn't be any reason why that witch was forced to grant my wish. But, just like in fairy tales, there's always a catch. Something you have to pay for to have your wish granted. Just like the Little Mermaid who lost her voice in return for being given legs.

"Let me grant your wish. In return—I will put a curse on you. You will never be able to say XXXX ever again…"

That's right, for my wish to be granted, I was forced to give something in return.

As for what happened after that… "Mom, Dad! I met a witch, and…Huh?"

When I came back home, my parents were smiling happily, like all their previous fighting had been a lie. It was as if magic happened—Not just as if. The witch really granted my wish.

"Ahh, Mifuyuu, today is a wonderful day. Listen to this." Mom smiled, showing an expression I hadn't seen on her for a long time. "I was feeling a bit under the weather, so when I went to the hospital for a medical check-up, they said I was pregnant."

Dad embraced Mom's shoulders, and said with a happy tone. "That's right. That's why we decided against the divorce."

Mom and Dad won't break up. Basically, we can be together as a family, and I even get a younger sibling. I was a bit scared when I was talking to that witch, but…She really granted my wish! Filled with happiness and joy, I tried to tell my parents how much I XXXX them, like I always would.

"Mom, I >hate< you!" "...…Eh?"

Momentarily, the air froze up.

"…Mifuyuu? Why would you say something so cruel to me?"

No. I didn't say that. And neither did I want to. I just wanted to tell her of my XXXX for her.

"Dad, I >hate< you!"

Almost like a broken keyboard, different words that I meant to say came out of my mouth.

"Hey, what's your problem?"

"I >hate< you…>Hate< >hate< >hate< >hate< you…!" "What the hell is wrong with you? Gross."

"Maybe she's jealous because of the baby?"

"My…The baby isn't even born yet, what a cruel child she is." Mom gently caressed her stomach, as if to protect what was inside of it.

"I'm looking forward to seeing the baby. Maybe this time we finally get the boy we always wanted."

Mom and Dad both smiled with faces I hadn't seen before. I wonder why… this is exactly what I wanted…and yet, it felt like they were leaving me behind—So I spoke up. Don't go, I said.

">Leave me alone<."

"That's what I was planning on doing." I continued. Hug me, I said.

">Don't touch me<." "What a cheeky brat." You're wrong, I actually—

"!"

After that, I realized that whenever I tried to voice any positive affection, the exact opposite would come out of my mouth. Because of this, both Mom and

Dad distanced themselves from me even further. Finally, my younger brother was born, and they became a happy family of three. Nobody is hurt by me anymore. Because I wished for this.

—'Them fighting for me…hurting each other…Please make it so that they stop.'

This definitely is the world that I wished for. XXXX, hate, XXXX, hate, XXXX, hate…No matter how much I tried to convey my feelings to my family and friends, I would just end up hurting them instead, so they left me behind. Eventually, I will probably just forget what my real feelings are anyway.

But, this is something I earned myself. Back when they were fighting for me, and I couldn't resolve anything with my own strength, I had to rely on the power of magic. That's why, this is my punishment. This is all because I was foolish, and yet—

"—Yo, Aotsuki-san, what are you doing here at such a ti—"

When I was crying all on my own, you called out to me. And, you even talked with me. When I was just in a dark room, all alone, you opened up the window and let in a warm and comfortable light. I was always on the receiving end. So, I wanted to give you something back. Tell you of my gratitude. And…show you my real self. This led to me coming to XXXX you. I don't want to keep these feelings bottled up inside of me. I want to tell you of my feelings, and get rid of this curse. Because…there are words that I want you to hear, Yafune-kun. The words you probably needed to hear more than anything else in this world.

*

"…I >hate< you."

After Aotsuki-san finished explaining everything, she yet again repeated those words.

"I >hate you<. I absolutely you, Yafune-kun."

"…Yeah."

"I really >hate< you…" "…Say it again." "…Are you stupid?"

"Yes, I am." In order to rub away her tears, I put my hand on her cheek. "…If only I would have looked at your eyes more than your superficial words."

She was always trying to tell me. Say the word XXXX that is more kind and warm than anything else in this world.

"—You were saying 'like' so much."

Her wet eyes slightly narrowed, and her ears turned red. "Thank you, Aotsuki-san."

Not only her ears, her eyes, and cheeks, everything turned into a reddish color, as her long eyelashes were quivering. That told more than every word she could have said.

"Y-You're wrong…Actually, not really, but…" More tears came streaming from her eyes, making my fingers wet.

And yet, those tears felt warm.

"I'm cursed. That's why I can only say these words. Say that I hate you… But, in reality, there's another word I want to use instead…"

Despite her words being sealed like this, Aotsuki-san still tried her best to express herself.

"…You know, I'm a really helpless bastard." Yet again, my honest feelings came out of my mouth. "Before, when I said all these cruel things to you, you might have already figured it out, but…It's not just that. In reality, I'm just creating a fake character in front of everyone. The real me thinks that this is

all just a pain, and I feel forced to go with the happy-go-lucky flow. I don't even think of these guys as my friends. If anything, I absolutely love anime and games. When I first got to know you, I thought that you were a template tsundere…It's not my interest that's the problem though, it's my personality. At the root of it all, I'm rotten. If I were acting the real me from the very beginning, you wouldn't have come to like me."

"That's…!"

"I feel bad for you. Your honest feelings are howling inside of you, but you can't tell anybody. I just happened to treat you kindly, which is why you fell for me. Without the curse…just like the magic vanished, those feelings were cooled down."

I know myself just how rotten of a human being I was. I can't take being liked for a fake self.

"I didn't want you to act affectionate towards me…I really did, and yet…" I smiled.

It wasn't a fake smile, but one from the bottom of my heart.

"Right now, learning of your feelings, I'm pretty sure that I am the happiest I could have ever been in my life." Tears fell down from my eyes, and they wouldn't stop. "You are allowed to hate me. It's really fine. But, even so…"

I'm sure that my face right now must be a mess. Her fingers touched my tears. Why is she ready to accept everything? All of my ugliness? I guess that's what 'liking someone' means. So maybe…I'm allowed to get the wrong idea?

"If…if your feelings still don't change after learning about the real me…"

This is an impossible fantasy. But, it's my own freedom as to what I'm thinking. Then, I should be allowed to live in a dream, and hope for my wish to be granted.

"…Then, I want you to properly say it. The words you truly want to say

before they are changed."