Prologue

It was a perfectly ordinary scene on a perfectly ordinary day.

"Kazuma, Kazuma, grab the soy sauce for me!"

"Got it."

Unlike Megumin and Darkness, who were early risers, Aqua and I had slept in a bit and were having a late breakfast. I passed the soy sauce to Aqua, who took it with a quick thank-you, but— "Hey, I saw that. Your finger touched the soy sauce, didn't it?"

"Did not."

Okay, so it was partly the fault of the soy sauce container, but about one out of every five times Aqua tried to pour it, she touched the stuff and ended up purifying it.

"If you really didn't touch it, then I dare you to put soy sauce on that thing. If it isn't water, it should be fine, right?"

"…Hey, Kazuma, why do you always bully me like this? We've known each other a long time, haven't we? So you understand what's happening right now, don't you?" Aqua looked up at me from her grilled fish with a gentle smile.

"I understand that's what you always say when you've purified our seasonings. I told you—if it's still soy sauce, pour some on that fish and eat it."

"Oh, I'm going to! Who cares if I turn a few sauces into water anyway? It'll just highlight the other ingredients, and I'm sure it'll be delicious!" She poured some water on her fish and munched it angrily.

"…So what do you have to say for yourself?"

"...…I'll go buy some more soy sauce later, but for now maybe you could just hand me that salt…" Aqua shook the salt over her fish with a dejected expression. Just then:

"Oh! What do you think you're doing?! That's my fish! Give that back, you little monster!"

Chomusuke had worked her way over and snatched the fish, leaving Aqua in a rage. She darted to my feet with the fish in her mouth before stealing a glance back at Aqua.

"She thinks I'm beneath her," Aqua said. "Kazuma, step aside. I'm going to show this nasty little ball of black fur what the hierarchy really is in this house!"

"Aw, geez, can't we even have breakfast in peace?"

Chomusuke gave a big yawn and started nibbling on the fish, at which point Aqua cocked an eyebrow and attacked her.

"Ow! I can't believe this magical creature! She's not even afraid to raise her claws against a goddess! Fine, we'll settle this here and— Agggh, that's hot!"

The scratching I understood, but I wasn't sure what was hot. I was sort of curious, but not curious enough to interrupt my breakfast to look at them.

"Kazuma, I can't believe this! She just breathed fire!"

"Hey, stop that! Don't shake me when I'm trying to drink miso soup! Bah, I've been telling you all along she could do that. She exhales flames to cook her fish."

I couldn't believe Aqua was just figuring this out. Aqua, meanwhile, was trying to get some distance from Chomusuke, apparently afraid of her now.

"I see," she said. "I knew from the moment I met her that this was no ordinary kitty, and now I'm sure of it! I see it; I can see it now…! Yes, I can make out her true form!" I just kept eating as Aqua stole little peeks at Chomusuke. "Your true form is… Yes, it's some terrible demonic creature! Don't fight—let me sniff you! The smell of demon can't hide from my goddess nose!"

I guess she wasn't too sure about that, though, because she kept looking at me.

"Hey, I have no idea what her true form is. Don't expect me to back you up."

"…It's weird. I got a good whiff, but I'm not picking up any demon scent on her. Why does she smell like soap? She's a cat." Aqua squatted down in front of Chomusuke, who was still working on Aqua's former breakfast, and started talking to her seriously. "Hey, I'll let you have that fish. Just tell me what you really are. I'll keep it a secret between us!"

"Uh, she doesn't like it when you mess with her while she's trying to eat…" "Waaaaaahhh! Stop, stop! I get it; I won't ask about your true form again! Just please don't chew on my divine feather cloak!"

My words of warning were completely ignored as Chomusuke attacked Aqua.

I simply watched, mulling over this most ordinary of moments.

"...Ahhh, so peaceful."

"What's peaceful, you stupid NEET?! I'll share my side dish with you at dinner —just get this thing off me!"