A Goddess’s Blessing for This Puppet!

1

Month A, Day X.

Lady Serena believes there's something wrong with my puppet state. For one thing, she seems displeased that I don't make even the slightest effort to do any work. She gets very angry and says she thought everything was going great but is now finding me weirdly resistant—and she currently considers me a nuisance.

She's ordered me to keep a diary starting today, in hopes of better understanding what's going on in my mind.

Reading someone's diary, though? I'll need to exact significant compensation for that. As such, I've decided that every night before we go to sleep, she has to press her boobs against my back while calling me Master Kazuma.

Lady Serena looks depressed, like she's lost something very important.

Supposedly, she's actually going to read this diary I'm writing every single day.

In other words, I have an excuse to sexually harass her, depending on what I write. Ah, my full heart is bursting.

Maybe I'll conclude each entry with a bit of erotic fiction.

No time like the present… Month A, Day Y.

Lady Serena ordered me to stop writing erotic fiction. But when I told her that such an outrageous demand would require a substantial compensation, she just muttered "dammit" and gave up. Lady Serena looks most beautiful when she's on the verge of tears.

I think for tonight's erotic fiction, I might write something involving Lady Serena.

Lady Serena says that there's definitely something weird about my puppet state. She says I certainly shouldn't be able to speak so fluently.

Well anyway, on with the diary. I wonder what I should write… Even as I was writing, I felt something soft press against my back. Yes: Lady Serena was naked and rubbing her two massive mountains up against me. "Oh, Master Kazumaaaa," she breathed. "I can't…I can't hold it in anymore…" Geez, fine. As Lady Serena looked at me pleadingly, I drew her close and… Oops, stop that! Lady Serena, don't sneak a peek at someone's diary and then burst out shouting. That'll take some serious compensation, you know?

Month A, Day Z.

Lady Serena, her eyes brimming with tears, said I really must not make her the subject of my erotic fiction. The moment I told her that such an outrageous demand would require substantial compensation, she hit me.

The moment she did that, something very strange happened: Lady Serena sustained an injury in the very same place where she had struck me.

She panicked, wondering what was going on, but as compensation for hitting me, I said she had to strip down to her underwear, put her hands behind her head, and do a hundred squats right in front of me. I heard her mumble "dammit" and a few other things, but the sight of Lady Serena squatting until she sweated, her eyes full of tears, was truly gorgeous.

I think next time, I'll have her do push-ups.

Month B, Day X.

Something terrible has happened.

It turns out that Lady Serena was connected to the Moguninnin, the ninja machine with the stupid name that I'd defeated back in Crimson Magic Village.

She said she tried to puppet the thing, but it was too powerful for her to control, so instead she turned it loose to wreak havoc. In other words, it was Lady Serena's fault that I got into all that trouble. Wouldn't that constitute a major debt she now owes me?

In order to cancel out that debt, I decided to give Lady Serena a good smack on the head. So there was Lady Serena, holding her head and wondering why I'd smashed a fist into it, and there was me, right next to her, also holding my head.

Her confused, tearful face was absolutely adorable.

Month C, Day X.

Lady Serena came home almost in tears today.

She'd gone to the Guild to try to make more puppets and earn some money, but I guess Vanir had tried to pick a fight with her. He claimed that consultation work was his specialty and that, if she planned to continue in that line of work, he had some ideas for her. It was clearly a threat.

Lady Serena doesn't seem quite able to cope with Vanir; he demanded payment for trying to home in on his turf, and she came back penniless once again. Almost breaking down, she said that meant she wouldn't get to eat tonight.

My sukiyaki with a side of observing her absolute consternation was positively delicious.

Month C, Day Y.

I gather Megumin, Aqua, and Darkness are trying to figure out where I've gone. That reminded me that I once had wonderful party members who would worry about me when I went missing.

I informed Lady Serena while she was working on a side hustle in our room. I told her that if she didn't want me to go home, she would have to start rewarding me more handsomely. She said she was running herself ragged trying to pay for our room and asked how I could make such a selfish request, and then she really did burst into tears.

Having lost her consulting job at the Adventurers Guild, Lady Serena asked if we could move down to a lower tier of accommodation. Personally, I was accustomed to a luxurious life in a huge mansion, but before I could finish telling her that if she wanted me to compromise my lifestyle, I would demand substantial compensation, she was already back at work.

I told Lady Serena that she was a very capable priest, so maybe she should get work as an adventurer. But she said her Adventurer's Card would reveal that she was a Dark Priest, and she wouldn't be able to take quests. That was part of the reason she'd never accepted a reward from the Guild yet.

What's more, it sounded like it was going to be a while before the Demon King's army got to this town, and she had to lay low here until then. Her other puppets and I would be agents on the inside when they arrived.

Lady Serena enviously watched me eat my dinner, a piece of the finest grilled meat. Naturally, I couldn't share it with her. If I repaid my debt to her that way, it would nix my puppetification. Instead, I would continue to dig myself deeper and deeper into her debt until I became her trusted right arm.

Lady Serena's dinner tonight, incidentally, was a bowl of corn soup.

Month D, Day X.

A fair amount of time has passed since I started living at this inn with Lady Serena. She's starting to look a little ragged. It must be a lot of work keeping someone like me fed, considering I eat three luxurious meals a day. But it was Lady Serena who told me to rid myself of restraint, so there's nothing I can do about it.

She keeps borrowing money from her various puppet adventurers and thus freeing them from servitude. It now seems I'm the only faithful servant she has left. She had a new gig going where she would show a passing adventurer her panties to puppet them, then ask them for money, but the police got mad at her. They lectured her about the laws regarding adult entertainment venues, then confiscated the money she'd earned. Lady Serena seems to be reaching her limit in more ways than one.

I told her she could pay what she owed me with her body, whereupon she asked, "What would I have to do to get you to pay for your own room?" When I gave her a detailed description, though, Lady Serena said the strangest thing.

She said she was going to free me from my puppet state and that I should go anywhere else.

I remembered something else Lady Serena had said, though. She'd said I could fight orders that I truly didn't want to obey. As I resisted her command with all my might, despite the incredible pain, Lady Serena started acting very odd.

When I asked apprehensively what she was doing, she told me she was praying to Lady Regina to forcibly end my puppetification.

I think Lady Serena has gone completely insane. Hoping to resist release from puppetification, I prayed as hard as I could to the goddess in whom I now have a profound faith.

O most high Lady Regina, grant me power…!

Month E, Day X.

A rock came flying through the window of our room. The culprit was an Axis lady with golden hair who looked vaguely familiar. I guess she didn't like it that Lady Serena, a servant of the goddess Regina, was evangelizing in Axel.

Lady Serena rushed out of the inn, red in the face, and tried to chase her down, but she got away by the skin of her teeth. I gather she mocked Lady Serena as being "a hussy who gets followers by showing them her panties!" and spread unthinkable rumors about her. Every time Lady Serena passed a group of old ladies, they would start whispering, and I think it was starting to get to her.

When I asked her what she thought she was doing bringing Lady Regina's name into disrepute, Lady Serena collapsed into tears. She stared at me, feeble and defeated, and I grasped her hand and nodded.

"The price of comfort is five thousand eris or your boobs."

Month E, Day X.

Lady Serena has started acting very strange lately. She's been giving me all sorts of orders. Orders that seem to take no heed of their price, as if she wants me to be released from my puppet state.

Naturally, because I'm a faithful follower of Lady Regina and a dedicated servant of Lady Serena, I haven't hesitated to exact payment via her body. After all, surely it would be a blow to her if my puppet state was to be undone.

Lady Serena, appearing somehow tired from my gentlemanly sexual harassment, says she has somewhere to take me tomorrow. Maybe she means to cross the final frontier with me? I don't think I can sleep through the anticipation. I'd better wash up for tomorrow, just in case.

2

"..." Lady Serena looked up from my diary, then closed it and let out a small sigh.

"I'm considering returning you to that priest and her friends…" "I refuse," I said immediately, and this time Lady Serena sighed more deeply.

She looked very haggard compared to when we had first met. I, on the other hand, was looking very fit. Probably thanks to the fine dining I'd been doing recently.

Lady Serena silently took my hand. In her other hand, she held a toothpick.

And then… "Hngh?!"

Suddenly and violently, she stabbed my fingertip with it. Something red began bubbling out. Of course, Lady Serena's own finger began to bleed as well, the droplets dribbling onto the floor. "Did you really not believe in anyone before?

Are you really a follower of Lady Regina now?!" she demanded, her face pale.

I couldn't believe she was asking me this. Surely, she couldn't have some kind of problem with my becoming a follower of Lady Regina.

"As I've told you, milady, I was nonsectarian. And I do believe in Lady Regina."

"Nobody in this world believes in nothing! Everyone follows a God, or a Dark God, or a devil! Everyone in this land has their haven!"

"But I'm not from this land. In the country I come from, it's not particularly unusual. Plenty of people don't belong to any specific church."

"?!" Lady Serena looked startled. "Wh-what, really?"

"Really, milady. Well…maybe it's not quite fair to say we're completely nonsectarian. Near the end of the year, people have a big celebration for the birthday of the founder of one religion; then at the end of the same month, bells are rung to mark the turning of the year in accordance with another religion. And once the new year starts, we do what a different religion called Shinto says and pray for a year of health and success."

"Does your country have something against priests?"

Gee, I didn't really know.

Anyway, Lady Serena pressed her hands to her temples and let out a sigh.

"I'm at the end of my rope… I just want to know how to free you from your puppet state. If I try to repay your debt to me, you stop me. And if I order you to get out of this room, that's when you endure the pain of resisting my commands. So I thought about trying to kill you, but now that you're a follower of Lady Regina, you've got the curse of vengeance…" What a thing to do to a devoted Regina follower like me.

"Gah, dammit!" Lady Serena exclaimed. "What do I do? What do I do?! Tell me: How can I get you away from me?"

"You ordered me to follow you, Lady Serena, and now I believe my relationships with my former party members are in tatters. If you don't take responsibility and look after me for the rest of my life—" "Aaaaggghhhh! I'm not hearing this; I can't hear you! …Wait, that's it! Listen, when Vanir gave you that forbidden potion set, he gave you a single de-puppet-ification brew, too, didn't he? Whatever happened to that?!" she demanded, clinging to me, practically in tears.

As I recalled… "I believe I gave it to one of my party members, a priest called Aqua who has the ability to change any liquid into pure water…" "Gaaaaahhhh! Of all the luck! Of all the powers! Why would you give it to someone who can do that?!" Lady Serena raced out of the room as fast as she could, tears flowing from her eyes. I could hear her saying, "How did this happen…?! Everything was going so well. Where did I go wrong? How did I screw up?! Damn it all, I was so close…! I'd puppeted so many of the adventurers in this town that everything was almost ready…! Where did I go wrong?!"

I trotted after her. "It's all right, Lady Serena. You still have me, don't you?"

"You're the whole problem!" Suddenly, she snapped. "You…! You don't listen to a damn word I say—you just ask and demand and take…! Errrg…!"

"Hngggh…! L-Lady Serena, if you choke me, you won't be able to…breathe… either…!"

Lady Serena let me go when she finally couldn't take the suffocation anymore.

"Damn! Dammit! Shit! Why…?! How can you enter a religion so easily…?! You're supposed to think long and hard about which god to follow; it's supposed to be for life!" She pounded my chest with her fist and slumped to the ground. Her voice was shaking. Was she crying?

"But, milady, there were so many religions where I used to live… In fact, in my country, it was said there were eight million gods. So of course, it's not that hard to become a believer. I've even heard of a church in one country that worships a flying spaghetti monster."

"I hate your stupid country. I hate it!"

Lady Serena sat on the ground, covering her face with her hands. I lifted the hem of her skirt. I had to get compensation for her strangling me, of course.

"You sure do like black, don't you, ma'am?" I commented.

"Arrrrghhhhhh!" Lady Serena leaped up, her eyes full of tears as she batted my hand away from her skirt. "We're going to your mansion! I know you'll tag along even if I order you not to, so come on!"

"Is that an order? If so, I'm going to require compensation!"

"Then don't come!"

"Are you telling me to stay here all alone? In that case, I'll need a proper apology and compensation for so cruelly making me lonely."

"Stop talking! Just stop talking! Everything you say makes me doubt my sanity!" Lady Serena was shouting now, not caring that people were looking.

Finally, she dashed off toward my former house.

People tended to look at Lady Serena rather balefully these days—after all the strange things she had done. Rumors were spreading of a perverted woman who went around showing her panties to people. I didn't know how the situation had come to be like this, but I felt bad for her.

She rushed through town, making no effort at all to hide herself or what she was doing, until at last she arrived at the mansion I once knew so well. Without even stopping to catch her breath, she pounded on the door. "Open up! I know you're in there! Open this door! I'm returning your beloved party member to you!"

There was no answer. I guess they were out.

"Damn it all! Of all the times…! Come on—let's go! They must be at the Guild or something!" Lady Serena said and then stalked off.

As I trotted after her, I happened to glance back at the house.

...… It looked so big and, with nobody home, so empty. Looking at it, I thought I felt a little tug on my heartstrings… "Hey! What are you dawdling for? I need you with me or there's no point!

Pick up the pace!" Serena snapped.

Sheesh, first stay behind, then hurry up and come with her—she must be a very busy person. She changes her mind every two seconds. I looked back at the mansion just once more… ...…?

"I said hurry up! I swear, I don't understand why you never, ever listen to me!"

"Hold on, Lady Serena. Did you see a girl in the window of the mansion?" It was only for an instant, but I thought I had seen a girl with golden hair peering out a second-floor window.

I wished they had told me they were letting a girl like that stay at our house. I might have even thought about coming back.

"I don't know what you're talking about! A girl? Have you started seeing things that shouldn't be seen? …Wait, is there a ghost in that mansion? Don't tell me Lady Regina's blessings have also given you basic priest abilities… Bah, forget it! We need to get going!"

…?

Perplexed, I looked toward the house again. I didn't see any sign of the golden-haired girl I thought I had spotted. It was so weird. This was going to bother me. It went beyond the tugging at my heartstrings—it felt like someone who'd been with me a long time was sadly watching me leave… I took one last look toward the house, completely flummoxed, then went to catch up with Lady Serena.

3

"Huh? Outside of town?"

"At this time of day, I would suspect so."

Lady Serena had rushed into the Adventurers Guild, and when she hadn't seen Aqua or the others anywhere, she'd been just about to rush right out again. That was when I'd offered my idea.

"What the hell would they be doing outside of town? What's out there?"

"It's not so much what's out there. Our spell-caster has a daily routine. She probably got both of the others to go with her. She usually heads out around this time."

Lady Serena looked absolutely defeated. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner?!" she bellowed, not caring that everyone in the Guild was looking at her. Maybe she was reaching her limit in more ways than one.

There was something more important, though. "Lady Serena, since we're here, I'd like to get something to eat," I said, settling myself at the closest table.

Lady Serena glared at me resentfully. "I'm not paying, dammit. I don't need you to be any further in my debt."

"Excuse me, I'll have everything on the menu from here to here, on her tab, please."

"I said I'm not paying, damn you! I'm not going to pay for your stupid— Er, ahem, I'll just have, um, water, please." Lady Serena tried to put on a decent front for the server (it seemed a little late for that), but then she resumed fidgeting. "L-listen…! I'll bet you know roughly where outside town your friends are, don't you? Tell me. I'm just going to go and look. You can sit here and eat."

"I refuse. I can't let you go alone, Lady Serena. Aside from an Arch-wizard everyone regards as possibly crazy, my former party includes a priest whose powers might be greater even than your own and a young woman who's nothing if not sturdy. I don't believe that pack of rabid dogs would listen to anything you had to say, milady, and if you ran into them out in the wild, I am certain there would be a fight."

Lady Serena thought about that for a bit before she finally said, "All right, once you're done eating all that stuff you ordered, I want you to come with me for a moment. Today, I'm finally going to give you a proper job to do." Then she looked at me and, for once, she smiled.

"Gosh, you certainly took your time, Lady Serena. I feel like I've been waiting for you forever. I'm not sure what you have in mind here—after you treated me to such a lovely meal, you're making me carry all this stuff. That's going to affect who owes whom, you know?"

"Y-you…you damnable…" Lady Serena's head drooped as I sat on the ground, acting quite lazy.

We were in the communal cemetery. When she'd told me we were coming here after my meal, I ate a bit of what I had left, then was considerate enough to come here by myself first. My servant's heart deeply wished to share some of my food—I'd ordered so much that I couldn't eat it all—with Lady Serena, who hadn't been eating well recently. So I told her that I was going to the bathroom, then left a quiet request with one of the Guild employees and slipped out… "How was your meal?"

"Oh, it was tasty, all right! And it would have been even better if I hadn't had to wash dishes until this late hour because I don't have any damn money!" Lady Serena shouted, almost crying. "All right, I don't have time to be chatting with you. Come on, Kazuma—we're doing this! We're digging up all the bodies sleeping in the ground here. I'm going to puppet them and make them my soldiers. I'll take this area; you get that area over there."

"I'm very sorry, but I have a religious objection to violating the dead."

"'Religious objection'?! You believe in Lady Regina! Religious objection, my ass! If you're afraid to touch a dead body, then at least say so! Shut up and get started! Do what you're asked for once in your life, instead of trying to get your own way!"

"I really must beg your indulgence."

I couldn't conceivably dig up dead bodies. I fought against the horrendous pain of resisting her order until, finally, Lady Serena gave up, once again looking like she might cry. "Dammit, fine! Just stand over there and don't move!" she said. Then she took her shovel and started digging.

With all that work Lady Serena had had to do, it was quite late now. I wondered if Aqua and the others might not be home by this hour. In other words, even if she puppeted some corpses to attack the girls, would they be back in town already…?

I was about to tell her that even if she dug up those bodies and took them under her control, we couldn't use them in town, but then I realized that to offer helpful advice would be to repay my debt to her. So instead I hardened my heart and simply watched Lady Serena dig, sweat pouring down her face.

"Hff… Hff… There! The first body! Now I just need to get this thing under my control and make it dig up more graves… Marionette!"

"Sorry, you don't have enough Puppet Points."

"…?!" Lady Serena looked at me in amazement. The corpse didn't budge. "H-hey! What are Puppet Points? What's going on here…?"

After some mumbling to herself, she clapped her hands. "Puppet Points must be how much control I've poured into you! You just gave it a stupid name!

Listen up, Kazuma—don't fight me, okay? I'm going to negate just a little bit of your debt to me and get back some of my control. Remember, don't fight, all right?! As much as I'd love to break my control over you completely, I know by now that you won't let me. Listen. I'm only going to weaken my control slightly so that I can take on another puppet. You won't resist, will you?"

"Gosh, that's an awful lot of lead-in. Can I basically assume it's, like, comedian's banter?"

"No, it isn't! Now listen, I don't want you to resist, okay? Here goes…! ...…I told you not to fight me! You're supposed to be my puppet! It wouldn't kill you to do what I actually say every once in a while!"

I was desperately resisting allowing any of Lady Serena's power within me to be drawn out. She had me; she didn't need any other puppets.

Lady Serena grabbed my stubborn self by the lapels and started choking me, her eyes full of tears.

"Urrrgh, h-hold on, Lady Serena…! While you were busy washing dishes and digging up corpses, it's gotten to be fully dark… They must be home by now…" "Why didn't you say that sooner?! Anyway, whose fault is it that I have to wash dishes and dig up dead bodies…?! Gah! Dammit!"

She didn't even bother wiping off the tears that spilled down her cheeks, she just took off running for my mansion… Lady Serena looked absolutely exhausted. I'm not sure why, but a beautiful woman who looks completely spent can be pretty attractive in her own way. At that moment, Lady Serena was knocking weakly on the door of the mansion.

She didn't even have the strength to call out anymore.

Shortly after, we heard a voice from inside, though the door didn't open.

"Who's calling at this hour? If you're a traveling salesman, fine, I'll listen to you, but if this is some religious thing, then get lost." The voice belonged to Aqua. It had been so long since I'd heard her speak, but she sounded just as dumb as ever.

"Hey there, it's me. I came to give back that guy you all seem to like so much."

There was a moment of silence when Aqua heard Lady Serena's voice. Then the door cracked open just the tiniest bit. Aqua was peering out from inside.

"Kazuma…? Really? You really mean it?" She was looking at me like she could hardly believe what she was seeing.

There was a huge crash from inside, then the sound of rushing footsteps.

Lady Serena leaned toward me and whispered into my ear, "Just keep your mouth shut, all right? It'll make things simple. If you behave, when we get back to the inn, believe me, I'll compensate you very, very well."

"I don't wanna wait until we get back. Give me my compensation now."

Lady Serena groaned with a grimace but only for a moment; then she got herself together, crossed her arms, and stood proudly. The door finally opened all the way to reveal Megumin and Darkness standing behind Aqua, looking somewhat uneasy. The moment they saw me, they both lit up.

And then… "...…May I ask what that man is doing?"

Megumin said, her face grim. "That man," of course, being… "You can just ignore him for now. In fact, I've come to return him."

That's right; I was "that man," and at the moment, I was sitting on the ground, industriously holding up Lady Serena's skirt and inspecting her panties at close range. Everyone except Lady Serena was watching me in astonishment.

Megumin managed to avert her eyes from my underwear study, looking like the sight pained her; then she stepped forward, obviously angry. "What in the world have you done to Kazuma? Even for this loser, such unabashed sexual harassment is out of character. I know how much he loves to harass women, but he always finds some way to pretend that he just stumbled into the situation or come up with another excuse. When he harasses me, he's always weirdly clever about it, so to see him like this…" She trailed off there, but I was curious where she had been about to go. "To see him like this…" what?

"The way this loser always grows frightened the moment I try to get close to him is both one of his worst and one of his best qualities. I've known you were suspicious for some time, and now I want to know what you've done. I've been hearing the rumors about you and Kazuma around town. Now here you are, trying to return your little pet. You have to be plotting something. To see him in such a sorry state is…" Is what? Is what?!

"…Listen. The fact is, we don't need this Kazuma. If you're going to give him back to us, could you return him to normal first? It's not very nice to steal something from someone and then try to give it back after you've broken it."

That was Aqua, putting her own spin on the conversation… There were a few things I would have liked to say about calling someone "not needed" or "broken," but Lady Serena had ordered me not to talk, so I wouldn't. Anyway, I was too busy veritably worshipping her panties.

Lady Serena held a hand out toward Aqua. "Let's make a deal. I'll turn this guy back to normal, if you give me that potion you're holding. Do that, and I'll give him back to you, good as new."

Aqua looked at the potion she had been clutching to her chest. And then… "Sorry, but no. This potion is the last thing Kazuma gave me before he lost his mind. I don't have to give it to you. Why do you want it anyway? What did that weird devil say to you? Tell me how you plan to use this thing."

Creaaak. I heard Lady Serena's teeth grind together. She was probably really reaching her limit after all the trouble she'd gone through on my account. She looked at the ground and said softly, "You'd best listen to what I say while I've still got control of myself, you understand? I wouldn't want you to underestimate me. I may not look like much, but—" She never got to finish.

"This came from Kazuma, and it's precious to me. You can't have it!"

"Fine, I understand. I guess the negotiations are over, then. You're finished!"

Lady Serena shouted, pointing at Aqua. Darkness was already stepping between them.

"Death!"

Lady Serena shouted, and the end of her finger glowed, and then…!

"...Huh?" Lady Serena said stupidly as the light in her fingertip faded.

"Got you!" Aqua and Darkness cried, then pounced on her.

4

Lady Serena was forced to the ground, where Darkness sat on her to pin her down. Darkness wasn't wearing her armor, but her toned body was more than enough to handle Lady Serena, who was just a priest.

"Dammit, my magic…! But why…?! Lady Regina, Lady Regina! Give me power…!" cried Lady Serena, trying to squirm her way out from under Darkness.

Darkness grabbed her by the neck and began making demands. "All right, it's time for you to set this man free from his curse… Wh-what the—? I can't breathe, either?!"

While Darkness was distracted, Lady Serena pointed a finger at her from the ground. "Death! Death! D—" She tried the spell again and again until Darkness clapped a hand over her mouth, but nothing happened.

Now, what was I supposed to do in this situation? Should I help Lady Serena or…?

"…Hey, you guys," Aqua said, "are we sure we want him back? I don't need this."

"Ugh…," Darkness said. "I guess maybe…I don't…need…this, either?"

I wondered if "this" was supposed to refer to me; I was still peeking under Lady Serena's skirt while Darkness had her pinned.

That's when I felt someone tug on my sleeve. Megumin stood there, looking oddly happy. Then she grasped the hem of her robe and began to raise it up bit by bit… "Gosh… You all like black, don't you?" I said, crouching on the floor and inspecting Megumin's panties, with which I was now confronted, at point-blank range.

"M-Megumin?!" Darkness exclaimed.

"Megumin, I never knew you had it in you!" Aqua added. Megumin ignored them, placing a satisfied hand on my head as I looked at her underpants.

"If no one else has any need of him, then I shall take this man." She looked positively triumphant.

"Oh!" Darkness said, suddenly concerned.

I must say, this was a very odd situation.

Darkness sat astride Lady Serena, who struggled to free herself, her mouth still covered. Megumin was patting my head, and I was continuing to observe her panties.

But then… "…Oh-ho. I see your blessing from the minor goddess Regina has been cut in half. A deity's blessing is distributed among their followers. That has to mean Regina was such a minor goddess that you were her only believer. You had her power all to yourself until now, but since our Kazuma believes in her, too…"

"…?!" Lady Serena was still gagged, but she managed to stare daggers at me. I guess, even though I was supposed to be her puppet, my becoming Lady Regina's follower had weakened Lady Serena's power significantly. Oops. But glaring at me wouldn't change anything.

Aqua crouched down by Lady Serena and pried Darkness's hand off her mouth. "Turn Kazuma back to normal right now!" she said.

"…Use that potion on him and he'll change back. Although I think you can expect him to put up quite the resistance." Lady Serena sounded absolutely exhausted.

What was going on here? How should I, Lady Serena's loyal servant, act at this moment? Megumin had one of my hands in a vise grip and wasn't letting go.

Her other hand was still patting my head. And me, I just crouched there, looking up Megumin's skirt… "Heh-heh, it's been a while, Kazuma," Megumin said, both a little embarrassed and unmistakably pleased. My fervent wish was to help Lady Serena, but I found the devilish Megumin so tempting when she smiled like that… Lady Serena had unleashed all my most basic instincts, and I was totally unable to control myself. So I'm very, very sorry, Lady Serena, but please forgive me.

"Maybe you can explain this while you're at it," Darkness said. "What were you even thinking? How was it amusing to turn our Kazuma into a remorseless pervert like this?"

"I didn't know it was going to happen! I just tried to make him my puppet. I simply forced him to abandon all morals and inhibitions… I didn't realize how much he would change!" Lady Serena bit her lip, clearly pained. "I can't tell you how awful it's been… He always finds some reason to refuse to work, and the moment he gets the slightest opportunity, he sexually harasses me. He's leading a pathetic life of complete selfishness and indulgence…" "Gee, that actually doesn't sound that much different from usual for Kazuma," Aqua said. "Well anyway, if we use this potion on him, he'll go back to normal, right?" She started to come closer to me.

"Personally, I don't really mind him like this…" Megumin was blushing a little as I continued to study her panties. She also had a firm grip on my hand so I couldn't get away. If she really was all right with me being this way, then she would let go of me.

Aqua approached cautiously. "All right, Kazuma, I'm going to turn you back to normal now, so just be a good boy, okay?"

"I wanna stay like this," I said immediately, but Aqua kept gradually closing the distance between us.

"Now, that won't do. There you go, hold still, just like that…" "Hey, Priest, stay sharp! I guarantee he's going to try something!" Lady Serena snapped.

Aqua, feeling she didn't need the warning, replied, "Y-yeah, I get it. How long do you think I've known Kazuma? Megumin, hold on tight—don't let him get away! Okay, here we go…" "Steal!!"

""""Oh!"""" I looked away from Megumin's panties just long enough to stretch out my hand toward Aqua. With one single application of my skill, I popped the potion right out of her hands. And then… "Hiyaaah!"

"Nooooo!"

…I threw it away as hard as I could.

Aqua made a sliding catch an instant before the bottle hit the ground.

"I told you! I knew he would try something!"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?! He's worked you over enough; you should know how it goes! You never can guess what he's going to come up with!

Megumin! Megumiiiin!!" Aqua, almost in tears, was clinging to Megumin, clutching the potion close in hopes that I wouldn't be able to steal it again.

Then Lady Serena, still pinned down by Darkness, said, "I order you, my puppet, Kazuma Satou: Sit still and don't move!"

"Okay, I have no choice," Megumin said. "I'm pretty happy with you the way you are now, but… Here, Kazuma. I'm going to give you a great big hug. Just stay…still…? H-hey, don't struggle! Hold still! Aqua, quick! He's nuzzling my chest…!"

"Megumin, hold on to him! Don't let him turn this way!"

While my face was buried in Megumin's chest, I felt something cold running down the back of my head.

No sooner had it happened than I felt something leave my body.

No, stop! I want to stay the way I am! There were still things I wanted to do to Lady Serena! Things I can only do with the power of Lady Regina, the goddess of revenge…!

"Huh?"

Why did I need the goddess of revenge again? For that matter…"Lady Serena"? Why was I thinking of a general of the Demon King in those honorifics?

And why was I suddenly a fervent believer in some goddess I hardly knew anything about?

…Ah, so that was it. The moment before Serena put me under her control, I remember swearing that I would have my revenge on the general of the Demon King who'd hurt my useless goddess…

5

"Kazuma, how are you feeling? Are you better?"

Someone was slapping my cheeks. I raised my head to find myself looking into Megumin's eyes.

... "I think a stronger hug would have made a few things better."

"Yep, he's back to normal. All right… H-hey, I know you're fixed now, so get away from me!"

Megumin peeled me off her, and I had no choice but to stand up. For some reason, I still felt like I was in a dream. One where I was serving the most wonderful goddess… Oh well. I had always basically been nonsectarian.

"Kazuma, are you all right?" Aqua asked. "If you're so desperate to serve a deity that you would resort to worshipping Regina—a goddess so minor that I've hardly ever heard of her—then I think you'd be better off worshipping me.

There are lots of benefits. For example, I can improve that awful handwriting of yours so it's beautiful and flowing."

"Pass. Why do you think I would worship a minor goddess anyway? Wait… huh?"

…?

Why had I done that?

"I don't know—you tell me."

"Geez, I…I have no idea." I found that unsettling, but now wasn't the time to worry about it.

"Hey, I see you're back to normal," said Serena, who was stretched out on the ground with Darkness still on top of her. The question was what to do with her now.

"You're a tough one to get rid of," I said.

"Any chance you'd just let me go, then? Heck, we even lived together for a while, right? I think the best option for both of us is to go our separate ways."

She was trying to sound casual and had both her arms outstretched. She knew perfectly well that I couldn't do anything to her. Even something like take her to the police.

…Gee, this left me feeling extremely uneasy and not at all like anything had been resolved.

Well maybe, knowing that Aqua could bring me back to life even if the curse of revenge killed me, we could take her somewhere way outside of town, and I could— Nah. I didn't have it in me to kill anyone.

If I had that kind of nerve, I never would have earned the nickname Loser.

So maybe we could wrap her in a carpet and leave her in a dungeon somewhere… No, that would be like indirect murder… Dang, you live with someone for a little while, and you start having all sorts of complex feelings about them. But just letting her go didn't seem like a plan, either.

"I can see you're agonizing. Think of it this way, Kazuma: Does letting me go actually do you any harm? If you set me free, I bet they'd reconsider attacking this town. Believe me, I've had enough of being anywhere remotely close to where you are. That's the truth. Then there's Wiz, a general of the Demon King in name only. And Vanir, too. If we attack Axel, who knows what'll happen to that addled pair? I can go back to the castle and put a stop to that plan. You let me go, and I don't touch this town. How about it? A proper bargain this time."

Serena had a slight smile on her face, as if she could see everything I was thinking about.

From her perch atop Serena, Darkness asked, "Kazuma, who exactly is this woman anyway? Does she have some connection to the Demon King? If it's to keep the people of this town safe, then I'll kill her if you tell me to."

I grabbed her shoulders before she could say something even more ridiculous.

Darkness was a noble and the temporary governor of our town. She could also be surprisingly short-tempered, and I wouldn't put it past her to actually off Serena if she thought it would keep people safe.

Still, what she said hardened my resolve.

"Hey, what's that? Why do you still have that?" Serena said, her face tightening when she saw what I was holding.

"Sorry, Serena. There won't be any bargaining. Believe me, this is going to hurt me as much as it hurts you. Literally."

I'd pulled out Vanir's forbidden potion set from my bag. They all had terrible, ridiculous effects, but I seemed to remember that one of them would reset the level of the imbiber.

I was always leaning on my friends for help. But this time, this one time, I would see this through to the end all by myself. Using this potion on Serena would presumably invoke Regina's curse of vengeance and cause my level to be reset, too.

"What do you think you're doing? Come on, Kazuma, don't. We shared a room together, didn't we? Make the smart choice and let me go."

But then, one of us was a general of the Demon King and one of us was a NEET who belonged to the weakest class. Getting sent back to Level 1 was going to be a lot worse for one of us than the other.

I pulled out the level reset potion and knelt down by Serena. "Sorry, but maybe we could both start fresh."

"…?!" Serena started thrashing then, but Darkness slammed a fist into her stomach. "Hrgh!"

"Hngh?! Wh-what the hell?! Hey, Kazuma, when I punched this lady, I felt it in my own stomach!"

"Yeah, any damage done to her gets suffered by the attacker as well," I said quietly. "Don't even think about trying to kill her. Apparently, killing her would call down a curse that would cause a mass death."

"I see," Megumin said. "So that's why you went unconscious when you kicked her." She was nodding to herself.

Without a word, Darkness, for some reason, pinched Serena's cheek.

"Eeeyow-ow-ow! Why would you do that?!" Serena demanded.

"Hrn…! I know you're hiding something. Come on—spit it out! You can't fool me! Hff, hff… O-ow, that hurts…! Hnnngh… But pain such as this is hardly enough to best me…!"

"'Hiding something'? Kazuma knows pretty much the entire story! Ouch! Stop that! I promise you, there's really nothing else besides what I told him! Ow, stoppit! I know this pain has to be coming back at you! Stop already!"

Serena tried desperately to shove away Darkness, who had begun a very special form of one-person play using Regina's blessing.

As for me, I held the potion in my hand.

"Hey, Kazuma, would you make this lady stop—? Wh-whoa, hold on now, stay back. You know your own level's going to plummet, right? Think about it—what do you gain from dropping me to Level 1? S-stop and think already!"

I tilted the bottle toward the panicking Serena. "Eh, I'll just take my time and level back up. I hit the level cap pretty quickly anyway. I've got plenty of money to keep me living large, so there's no rush… Your faithful servant will accompany you to the bitter end, 'Lady' Serena. Let's go back to square one… together."

Serena, frowning hard, grabbed Darkness's hand as our Crusader tried to pinch her cheek again.

"You really are the most dangerous thing for the Demon King's army."

"You're giving me too much credit. I'm going to live the easy life from now on.

If you ever make it back to the Demon King's castle, give him my regards."

I was sort of kidding, but Serena ignored me; instead, she pointed her finger at me. What did she think she was doing?

…Oh.

"I guess I can't let you live after all. With you back to normal, I'm Lady Regina's only follower again, and that means I've got my power back. Good-bye, my selfish puppet."

I tried to grab her arm, and Darkness tried to clap a hand over her mouth, but Serena was too fast.

"Death!"