Finally, a Cheat for This HikiNEET!

1

"I'm home!"

""Welcome back!"" When I opened the front door, Megumin and Darkness were there, sitting on the carpet looking like they'd been waiting for me for quite a while.

"So you've made it safely home. I thought you would simply duck into the dungeon and grind a few levels, so when you didn't come home for an entire day, I started to worry," Megumin said warmly.

"No kidding! I told you you should let me come along to play defense for you.

And here you've got… What is that?" Before Darkness could really get into it, I'd held out the suit of armor, bringing her up short.

"A souvenir. Powerful armor. They said only Crusaders could use it, so I brought it back for you."

"Wow, class-restricted equipment. Items that can only be worn by a specific class are often very famous or important objects. Did you not find anything for yourself, Kazuma?" Megumin asked.

"Nah, they said Adventurer-only items don't really exist, since there's never any demand for 'em."

Hands trembling, Darkness took the armor and hugged it close. Her face was red, and her eyes were moist. "Thank you… I'll treasure it." The words were so simple but so full of gratitude. Now I couldn't exactly tell her that I'd just gone ahead and brought it back because I couldn't use it.

"Pitch-black armor? Most appropriate for someone named Darkness, I should say."

"Totally. Especially with that color and the whole, y'know, style, though, I think she'll sort of look like she belongs with the Demon King."

"Eek… I'm not sure a paladin should be wearing black armor, but, well, it is what it is… Besides, this armor is really pretty. Powerful enchanted armor usually adjusts itself to fit the wearer. Maybe it'll change to look a little more knightly when I put it on." She carried the armor into the living room and gave it a quick polish with a dry cloth. She looked like she was genuinely enjoying herself as the rag squeaked along the armor.

Then Megumin tugged on my sleeve. "And where is my souvenir?"

"I, uh…don't have one for you."

I had a light meal and a bath, but when I got out of the tub, I didn't see Darkness anywhere. She'd really seemed taken with that armor; maybe she was in her room trying it on. Megumin was relaxing on the sofa, almost as if she'd been waiting for me to finish my bath. Even though it was late, she wasn't wearing her pajamas; instead, she had on her black one-piece.

"I'm gonna hit the sack. Busy day tomorrow," I said. "I don't know where you plan to go dressed like that, but don't stay up too late, huh?"

Tomorrow, I would go around to the adventurers Megumin and Darkness had rounded up while I was in the dungeon and learn some useful skills. As soon as I'd learned everything I needed, I would set out after Aqua. My travel bag was packed and ready to go, sitting in a corner of the living room. I guess Darkness and Megumin had gotten it together while I was out raising my level.

"That is a good point," Megumin said. "I suppose I shall go to bed, too, then."

She stood up. And then, for some reason, she followed me right to my room.

I opened the door, and Megumin came in after me as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

... "Uh, what are you doing? I thought you were going to bed."

"Oh, I am. With you, Kazuma."

…Huh?

While I stood there frozen, Megumin walked over to the bed and patted the sheets. "This trip will be more dangerous than any other we've yet undertaken.

So…I just want to make sure neither of us has any regrets before we leave."

She smiled just a little.

...…Huh?!

2

"U-uh, well, now that we're here, I d-do suppose I am a little nervous. Are you all right? You're not uncomfortable or anything?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, no problem. Same goes for you, Megumin. Don't overdo it, okay?"

There was no moon out tonight. The only light that leaked in through the window was the faint illumination of streetlamps lit by Axel's wizards. There wasn't enough light for me even to see Megumin's pale skin very clearly. And my Second Sight skill allowed me to make out only the outlines of things, like thermography. Even in the darkness, though, I could see those crimson eyes glowing clearly.

Megumin was lying on the bed, smiling gently up at me. So this was why she'd changed into her fancy dress.

The truth was, I was trying to distract myself, but the lower half of my body was hard to ignore. It was hard, all right…really hard. I wanted to hurry up and do something. Megumin must have noticed me looking at her dress, because she said, "This is the one outfit I own that is remotely sexy… What do you think?

Is it all right? I mean, is it…?"

"Y-yeah, it's okay—I mean, it's pretty and, uh, turns me on and stuff."

"T-turns you on…? You couldn't come up with another— No, that's very Kazuma-ish." She chuckled softly. Then, still smiling, she opened her arms as if to welcome me into them. "It can't be easy for you. And that's okay. I'll accept all of you. I want us to have no regrets, to leave nothing undone. Do whatever you like, okay?"

Talk like that pushed me right up to the limit. If I backed down after an invitation like that, it would make me look almost as crazy as Megumin acted sometimes.

I worked my way on top of her, being careful not to lean too much of my weight on her, and Megumin wrapped her arms around me. One of the shoulder straps of her dress had slipped off, and maybe my eyes were adjusting to the darkness, because I felt like I could see her pale, exposed shoulder with impossible clarity.

You know, Darkness and I had only ever kissed. Maybe that was where I should start.

I brushed Megumin's cheek with my hand, and she placed her hand on top of mine, her eyes crinkling into a comfortable smile. That simple gesture was enough to set my nerves and excitement to MAX. Girls were such cheaters! This was already practically enough to push me over the edge.

As Megumin continued to stroke my hand placidly, I leaned my face closer to hers. She saw what I was trying to do, swallowed gently, and closed her eyes.

Unlike the time Darkness kissed me, when she'd ambushed me, we both knew what was going to happen here. Sure, I was nervous, but I also sort of felt like I had to hurry up. Otherwise, we'd be interrupted, just like we always were at moments like this.

Yeah…right at the best part, that idiot would…!

That idiot… "…? What's the matter?" Megumin opened one eye and stole an uneasy glance at me when she realized I wasn't kissing her.

That idiot wasn't going to come interrupt us. She couldn't. She wasn't even here right now.

In other words, this was my chance. Our chance. Finally, at long last, we had our chance… That was the normal way to think about this, right?

"I'm sorry," I said after a moment.

"Am I…not good enough? I know I'm not as well-endowed as Darkness or Aqua, but I do think I have a decent figure. Would you like to see it?"

"Believe me, I would love to— Wait, that's not the point. I want to do it. I really do. The lower half of me is about to go berserk. So I promise, it's not about whether you're attractive or not, Megumin. But…" I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was throwing it all away. It was ridiculous, stupid. But… "I want Aqua and Darkness to be around. I'd rather have everyone under one roof and constantly be wondering when they're going to burst in on us. I'd rather sneak into your room wondering when that idiot is going to find us. I know we always end up with someone barging in on us just at the best moment, but even then—" I couldn't finish, because Megumin wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her mouth against mine, kissing me passionately. I felt her tongue work its way into my mouth, and then I couldn't think of anything else at all. I began to draw her closer to me.

Just as I was about to go further, Megumin pulled her mouth away, rested her head on my chest, and: "That's what I love about you," she said. "How considerate you are… I love it so much, I can't stand it."

I could feel the warmth of her breath, her hand stroking the back of my head affectionately. Feeling her softness against my cheeks, I couldn't stand it anymore…!

"When we finally get Aqua back—that night, you and I are going to do something unbelievable. I promise, all right?"

She whispered the words into my ear, then gently pushed me back and slid out of the bed.

…Huh?

Um, maybe I wasn't one to talk, but Megumin's kiss had really gotten me going. Like, forget about Aqua—the desire to continue was winning out.

As I lay there feeling like I might burst into tears, Megumin stood with her hands clasped behind her back and gave me a teasing smile. "That moment when you said you were sorry, Kazuma, I felt so anxious until you told me why.

So I thought I would tease you back just a little."

Tease me back? You mean get me in the mood? This was beyond teasing, or at least, I thought so. Hell, even if I went out for some succubus service now, they'd probably all be away on jobs at this hour.

Dammit, Massive Disappointment Megumin just got meaner and meaner.

"Uh, I…I apologize for that, so maybe we could keep going just a little bit…" "Wh-why, you…! I wish you could just continue to act cool all the way through… Ahem, on that note." Megumin didn't leave my room but, for some reason, went and stood in front of the closet. "On that note, Darkness, you can stop hiding in there, all twitchy and fidgety, and go back to your own room!"

"Ahhh!" someone cried as Megumin opened the closet door with a slam. It was Darkness, sitting there blushing furiously. Who knows how long she had been there or why? "H-h-h-how did you know?"

"How did I know you were there, you mean? Because last night you were beside yourself with worry when Kazuma didn't come home, but tonight you darted upstairs before he even got out of the bath! Need I remind you that Crimson Magic Clan members have extremely high Intelligence? More than enough to see through the lustful, oversexed mind of someone like you, Darkness!"

"O-oversexed…! W-w-well, look who's talking, Megumin…!" Darkness was still seated inside the closet, and still blushing, and was now also shaking in fear.

Megumin dragged her out into the room. "I did not get a souvenir, so I came to take one for myself. As for you, I presume you were so excited by your present of a suit of armor, and so inflamed by last night's feelings of loneliness, that you came in here to set an ambush! Then, when you heard my voice, you panicked and hid in the closet!"

"H-how did you guess? That's exactly what happened. I was going to thank him for the armor…" Darkness was still blushing, and now she looked like she might cry, too.

"To repay a gift with your body…you depraved woman! I am happy with the simple act of embracing Kazuma, but what about you? You intended to give him your body, then say condescendingly, Here, this is your reward! Is that it? Have you that much confidence in yourself?!"

"I w-w-w-wasn't— I don't—! N-no, that wasn't what I was g-going to do!"

Megumin began to drag Darkness, looking close to tears, out of the room.

"Then, as you peeped at Kazuma and me, you began to get excited yourself, and look at you now! How perverted this girl is! Come on—don't just sit there all night, panting like a beast in heat—we're going back to our rooms!"

"Hold on! You're way more pervy than I am, Megumin! You did all that stuff even though you knew I was there! Ahhh! Hey, I'm not done…!"

Megumin pulled Darkness all the way out of the room, and then they were gone.

Um… What about my excitement?

3

The next morning. We got to the carriage depot to find a long line of adventurers. Vanir and Penguin Suit were standing at the head of the queue.

"What is the matter, Kazuma? You're zoning out. You'll hurt yourself, trying to learn skills in that state."

"Er, right. Sorry."

We were about to set off after Aqua and pick a fight with the Demon King.

When we'd left the house, I'd glanced back, thinking it might be the last time I ever saw the place, and I noticed something strange. A little girl waving good-bye to us from the second-floor balcony. It must have been the ghost of the noblewoman Aqua had mentioned, the one who lived in our mansion.

By the time I rubbed my eyes and looked again, she was gone, but maybe I really had seen her: I saw strange things sometimes. It seemed to be an aftereffect of having briefly been a follower of Regina. It was weird, though. The ghost girl didn't inspire terror or even unease in me. She was who I'd been thinking about just now.

"Boy," Vanir interrupted me. "Or should I say, valued customer. I sure made a killing this morning. It's the biggest deal I've done since I started Vanir's Magical Item Shoppe. I haven't been able to stop laughing since. You can leave looking after the house to me—I will take good care of your Dark God and your chicken nugget. You may depart this world with a calm heart."

"Uh, you mean depart on my trip, right? You know what? Never mind. What did you say you would take good care of? The chicken nugget thing I get, but what was the other one?"

Vanir had Chomusuke in one hand and Emperor Zel in the other. Penguin Suit —that is to say, Zeeleschilt—turned to me, ignoring my question as he gave me a quick pat on the back. "Boy, I owe you for protecting me from various villainous goddesses on many an occasion. If, perchance, you should find yourself bereft of life on your journey, come to my fief in Hell. I shall receive you lavishly."

"Please, you're gonna give me bad luck…" Zeeleschilt was pretty much the mascot of Wiz's store these days, but this was a reminder that he was still a demon—and I guess he was trying to encourage me, in his demonic way.

"All right. You ready to learn some skills, Kazuma?" Dust stepped forward from among the adventurers and pointed his sword at me.

He wasn't trying to make fun of me. I really was going to learn skills from all these people. And Dust wasn't the only person I knew here. The line was full of people I'd met and gotten close to over the last year or so.

"You're about to go toe to toe with the Demon King, so we're gonna beat the crap out of y— Er, I mean, we're gonna give you the training of a lifetime.

Consider it our parting gift."

"Did you almost say beat the crap out of you? And anyway, no way I'm going toe to toe with the Demon King, or storming the castle, or anything! Goal number one is to bring Aqua back!"

As I railed at Dust, Megumin and Darkness stood to either side of me, smiling and nodding as if I were nothing more than a temperamental child. The two of them had their hearts set on a frontal assault on the Demon King. Me, I felt priority one was to link up with Aqua. If we could do that, I didn't really care what else happened.

At this point, though, even a coward like me was bracing himself. I'd acquired lots of skill points. I was like the main character experiencing his awakening in the climactic part of a story. To gain the peaceful future I'd always wanted, I would destroy the Demon King's army with all my strength.

The gathered adventurers took an uneasy step back when they saw me grin.

"Say, Kazuma, you sure you don't want to nix that trip?"

"Yeah, you've always been a little strange, but it's worse than usual today."

The other adventurers sounded worried, but I didn't blame them: They didn't know that I'd awakened to my true power.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm now one of the most capable people in Axel. Leave Aqua and the Demon King to me. You just make sure this town's still standing when we get back. My mansion's here, after all." Then I gave a pointed snort—and for some reason, everybody grimaced.

"'One of the most capable people in Axel,' my foot! This from the guy who supposedly did all his power-leveling in a dungeon with Wiz and Vanir babysitting him!"

"Yeah, he's just cobbled those levels together by paying for them! And you have the nerve to act all high-and-mighty?!"

"Nice attitude when we're all about to teach you our skills, Mr. Weakest Class!"

It wasn't just their voices the adventurers raised; they all held up their weapons menacingly. Oops, just when it had seemed like they were worried about me, now they were enraged by me.

"I'm swimming in skill points and past Level 30! They say when you get to 30, you're a veteran. I'm not like you shrimps cooling your heels in Axel! Now, step up and teach me those skills!"

"You think you're hot stuff just 'cause you got a few levels! You wanna learn some skills so badly? Let me show you how they work…by testing them out on you!"

"You're the shrimp! We know all about how you got chased around by that frog just the other day! If you want to learn so badly, let me drop some intermediate magic on you!"

"Do it! If he can't handle us, he'll never be able to beat the Demon King anyway! C'mon, everybody—I've found our new punching bag!"

The adventurers were razzing me and flipping me off with every middle finger available. What a bunch of short tempers. Bastards!

"Fine, before I get to the Demon King, I'll warm up on you! So bring on every skill I don't already know! The name's Kazuma Satou! Bring it oooooonnnnnn!"

Everyone else leered at me…then they took me at my word and all attacked at once!

4

"I'm sorry, Kazuma, but there's so much of it, it's going to take a while to— What happened here?!" Wiz, clutching a huge bag, cried out when she saw the crowd of adventurers laid out on the ground left, right, and center around the carriage depot.

"Oh, sorry, Wiz. I didn't know you were going to bring that for me."

"It's fine, but…what in the world is going on?! I thought you were going to learn skills from them…" Wiz was carrying a backpack stuffed with… Well.

"Don't worry about them. I just decided not to leave any loose ends when I left. By which I mean…well, you see."

Wiz looked around. "Um… I'm not quite sure I do, considering you're on the ground, too, Kazuma."

"Oh, I'm just lying here, relaxing. It was me versus all of them, so practically speaking, I think this is a win for me."

"Get over yourself, Kazuma; you could hardly stand by the third opponent!"

"You looked like you were gonna start crying the second we attacked you, so we took it easy on you, that's all!"

Let the losers talk. In numerical terms, it was my victory.

Wiz, herself a former adventurer, seemed to catch on to what had happened as she listened to us. "I see… Adventurers do love to see one another off with a little violence, don't they? Well, don't mind if I do…" "Wiz, if you 'saw me off' adventurer-style, I think I'd die even if you did hold back!" I forced my aching body upright and took the bag from Wiz. Just as I'd promised Vanir, once I'd gotten my money this morning, I'd bought a whole load of this stuff.

"All aboard! The carriage to Arcanletia will be leaving shortly!"

When the driver shouted, we shoved my cargo onto the carriage and then hopped aboard.

"You know, I've been wondering… What happened to your armor?" I asked.

Darkness, who wasn't wearing any armor but only had her great sword across her back, grinned and slapped the luggage she was clutching. "It's in here."

...… "Look, we're leaving on a journey, here; you're supposed to be wearing it."

"I don't know what you're talking about. If I did that, my precious armor would get all scratched and dirty."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

I guess Darkness had really taken to that armor I'd gotten her. She didn't look like she was going to let go of it anytime soon, so I ignored her and instead waved to the adventurers who were seeing us off. "Okay, I'll be right back with that idiot in tow!" I said.

"Yeah, see you soon! And take care of the Demon King while you're at it!"

"This is Aqua we're talking about. I'm sure she's lost in some ridiculous place!

Make sure you check everywhere. She's probably stuck in a hole somewhere!"

"Hey, you better bring back souvenirs!"

"You can trust us to take care of the town. Heck, I've got a newborn kid and a beautiful wife here. I'd never let anything happen to 'em!"

Ah, trustworthy adventurers… Wait… Did that last person just raise a super obvious death flag?

"Darkness, please put on your armor already! There is the problem of your Defense, plus, when you make such a show of cherishing your souvenir, it rather irks those of us who did not get souvenirs!"

"I'll put the armor on when we get somewhere dangerous—that ought to be enough! My Defense is more than high enough to handle the monsters around here!"

The two of them were having an inane argument. These were the two people with whom I was about to walk into the most dangerous place in this entire world? Crap! The various skills I'd just learned notwithstanding, I felt like my spirit was about to break.

"Hey, Kazuma! That sword you've got there, you had it made here in town, right? No magic or anything? Better take this one just to be safe!" Dust, who had a spear strapped across his back for some reason, tossed his sword up to me. Dang, that was actually pretty cool. Had he always been the type to say stuff like that? "It's got an enchantment on it, as far as it goes. It's not some legendary thing that can only be used by members of a certain class or whatever, so you should have no problem with it, Kazuma. But I want it back after you beat the Demon King!" Then he grinned. God, he actually sounded heroic.

Considering there were monsters out there that could be harmed only by enchanted weapons, I was awfully grateful to him for lending me this thing.

Still, I didn't understand what had come over him. Was I going to have to change my opinion of him…?!

"Oh, I get it. On the off chance Kazuma just happens to defeat the Demon King with that thing, that weapon will be worth loads of cash. The very blade the hero used! you'll say. Hey, Kazuma, Dust probably just filched that thing off some dead adventurer in a dungeon, so you don't have to worry about giving it back to him!"

"Screw you, Rin! Don't get in the way of my brilliant get-rich-quick scheme!"

Ah. Never mind.

Truthfully, though, it was actually reassuring. Axel was populated almost exclusively by the obnoxious and the useless, but to my own surprise…I didn't hate it here. And I felt like if I could bring back Aqua, who'd sort of become the town mascot somewhere along the line, then maybe I could have a decent time even here in this dumb world.

I smiled a little to myself as I watched the street punk chase Rin away.

"Here we goooo!!"

Our carriage set out under the clear, blue sky.

We were headed off on our first and last serious adventure…!

5

"I didn't see Chris anywhere, even with all those adventurers. I would have liked to talk to her before we went off to fight the Demon King," Darkness said.

"When she heard the king's goons were going to attack the capital, she said she'd be busy for a while, and I haven't seen her since then…" "You know, you're right. I haven't seen her around. Eh, I guess I can sort of understand why she'd be busy, though." This was the big showdown at the capital between humanity and the Demon King's forces. Her real job was going to take over for a while.

"Why would you understand that, Kazuma?" Darkness said. "I'd love to press you for details, but… Well, both of you, have a look. What do you think?"

""Demon King's servant,"" we said flatly to Darkness, who was sitting in the rocking carriage, proudly wearing her new armor. She looked a little disappointed that Megumin and I had both had the exact same response.

"You look very much like a Dark Knight," Megumin said. "You would not seem out of place at the Demon King's side."

"You've got a big sword but no shield, so the black armor really accentuates the offensive impression," I added.

"Hrk…!" Darkness pouted, tracing her finger over the surface of the armor.

The gear seemed to fit her every curve perfectly. The black metal gave off an eerie shimmer. The overall effect was less cool and more…beautiful. But sort of in the same way that a demon's blade or an enchanted sword was beautiful.

"By the way, Kazuma, did you hear? While you were in that dungeon, there was a bit of a commotion up here," Megumin said. I couldn't ignore that.

"That woman you captured, Serena, the general of the Demon King? She escaped," Darkness said.

"You're kidding."

What were the Axel police even doing?

"It seems Serena temporarily made a puppet of her guard and forced him to help her escape. He's now claiming that the Demon King's general is an exhibitionist."

"Yeah, the man she puppeted said he was shown something."

That would be Serena's panties. I was very sorry: I saw now that I had given Serena some truly destructive knowledge.

"They weren't able to spare anyone to chase her down, because everyone is needed to defend the town. The Guild put up a wanted poster asking anyone who saw Serena to capture her. There's a good chance she's heading back to the Demon King's castle, so since we are going the same way, we may well find her ourselves."

"Mm, and when we do, this time I'm going to make her pay. I have a score to settle with her," Darkness added.

Well, I guess if we caught her, we'd probably get a little reward for our trouble. If we happened to run across her on our trip, we could grab her—no need to go out of our way. She'd been reduced to Level 1; even without Aqua around, I figured we could handle her somehow.

I looked at the other carriages traveling behind us and said softly, "Huh, guess there aren't many customers…" What with all the unsettling rumors of an imminent attack by the Demon King's forces, not many people were eager to travel right now. A few had fled to other towns, but by this point, most people who were going to leave had already done so. Other than the carriage we were in, the rest transported only merchant cargo, no passengers.

There were five carriages total. There was no one around except for the drivers and merchants and a handful of adventurer bodyguards riding in one of the vehicles. With so few carriages, even weaker monsters might not be intimidated enough to stay away. For us, hoping to catch up with Aqua, who had a good head start, traveling in such a small caravan was hardly ideal… "By the way, Kazuma, how many skills did you ultimately acquire? Darkness and I simply gathered up everyone in town who was powerful or knew any useful abilities. We don't actually know what you learned."

Darkness breathed on her armor and polished it (squeak, squeak); Megumin seemed to take it as a challenge, because she started polishing her staff while she spoke to me.

"Well, magic-wise, I took Teleport and Intermediate Magic."

Megumin dropped her staff when I said that. "I-I-I-Intermediate Magic, is that so? W-well, at least you didn't take Advanced Magic." She was trying to act cool but couldn't hide a slight stutter. She bent down to pick up her staff… "Yeah, Advanced Magic involves a lot of long chants and special instructions.

And I guess you have to learn all the incantations to pick up the skill. I didn't have time for that. Wiz said she would teach me after we got back, though…" Megumin went immediately from picking up the staff to attacking me with it.

"Not satisfied with Intermediate Magic, you seek to learn even Advanced Magic! As if you didn't have me, an Arch-wizard, right here! Give me your Adventurer's Card, Kazuma! …Ah! If you use all your points, you could learn Explosion! I will acquire it for you and leave you with no points at all…!"

"H-hey, stop that! I left those points so I could get a useful skill like Advanced Magic! If you don't like it, learn some other magic yourself! Don't go messing with a person's Adventurer's Card without permission!"

"Says the man who did exactly that to my own card! Wait, what?! You've even learned Golem-Fashioning Magic and some healing spells?! Tell me. Do you seek to become a wizard, despite having less than one-tenth as much magic as I do?!"

"So you even learned healing magic. If Aqua ever finds out, she's going to cry that you took her job…" We'd made the trip to Arcanletia before, but it went a lot faster this time. Last time, we'd had Darkness (as tough as she is) getting caught up in the "chicken races" of horny Dashing Hawkites and Aqua attracting undead to us. At this rate, though, it looked like we were going to reach Arcanletia by tomorrow morning.

"The bodyguards are going to stand guard all night. When we were doing that work, the campsite was beset by undead, but tonight I think things will be all right," Megumin said, obviously remembering the same things I was. She sounded a little nostalgic, though, and a little lonely. Probably reminded of the fact that we were missing someone.

"That's true," Darkness said. "With so few carriages and bodyguards, we would normally be ripe for attack by monsters, but this has actually been a really smooth, uneventful trip so far. It makes all the harrowing trips we've taken before seem like a dream." She sounded downright bored.

It was pitch-black by then, so we helped the merchants set up camp, then picked a place a little bit apart from everyone else and started a small bonfire.

You needed one of those to keep away weak monsters. Although someone on our last trip had caused the undead to swarm us when we set up a campfire.

Like Darkness said, things had gone smoothly this time.

Too smoothly.

I wouldn't have expected it to be this easy, even without a certain someone with her terrible Luck along. I was just as happy nothing dangerous was happening. But I also found it sort of dull. Was that a sign that I'd been corrupted?

"Very well. It is time for you to tell me something that I've wanted to know for quite a while now," Megumin, leaning against our luggage, said out of the blue.

Darkness was lying down by the cargo, too, clutching her armor, which was in a box resting on her belly; she looked up at the wide, starry night sky with sparkling eyes.

"Oh yeah," I said, "I never finished telling you what skills I learned." I spread my cape on the ground and sat down on it, tossing a couple of twigs into the fire.

"No, that is not what I meant. I expect to have plenty of opportunities during this trip to see what you've learned, so I'm not so concerned about that. Rather, I am referring to what Vanir said about you being from another world."

...Oh. That.

I glanced over to find Darkness wasn't looking at the sky anymore but was studying me intently. In fact, both of them looked more solemn than usual.

"Oh, you don't have to take it so seriously. It's like…y'know. I'm not originally an inhabitant of this world. I come from somewhere else, somewhere far away.

One day, I died in that other world. After that, a deity presented me with three choices and told me to pick. I could be reborn as a baby in my original world and have a do-over, or I could go to heaven. Or…I could go to another world."

It must have sounded ridiculous, but neither of them laughed or even looked surprised.

"I see. And I suppose Aqua is the deity you're referring to?"

"Yeah, exactly. She acted all high-and-mighty when we first met. I just thought I would make her life a little harder, so I dragged her along with me…" Huh?

"Megumin, you never believed Aqua was a goddess. Whenever she claimed she was, you'd just be like, That's nice or Oh, cool or something…" The two of them looked at each other and chuckled.

"It's true—I did not believe her at first. But there were too many strange things, too many questions. Coming back to life, for instance, is supposed to be the ultimate divine miracle, afforded only once, at most, to each person. But she resurrected you over and over. She can purify water with a single touch and is perfectly comfortable being underwater. And then… Well, there are no priests who can single-handedly face down a Lich or a greater demon."

...Fair enough.

Sheesh, so the two of them had figured it out ages ago? Actually, I was sort of impressed that hadn't changed their attitudes even a little after they'd realized they were dealing with a goddess. Unlike a Japanese person such as myself— raised on a steady diet of anime and manga in which gods and goddesses were treated as moe characters—I'd expected people from this world to be a bit more reverential.

"It doesn't matter what kind of being she is. Aqua is our cherished party member. The way she cries, the way she gets carried away, the way she screws up easily. And then there's the danger she drags us into, the way she loves to make everything difficult for you, Kazuma… It's so easy to laugh with her; she makes everything brighter just by being around. A cherished party member.

That's right… I don't care what she is. Aqua is Aqua." Darkness was almost talking to herself, still cradling her box of armor and looking up at the stars.

Megumin smiled broadly at that, then sat up and looked squarely at me.

"Kazuma, why is Aqua so set on defeating the Demon King? What will happen to her after she does it?"

She'll go back to the heavenly realm.

The words got stuck in my throat; they just wouldn't come out.

I was silent long enough that Megumin said, "Kazuma… After the Demon King is defeated, you won't go back to your original world or something, will you?

You said once that you didn't intend to return to your country. So when this trip is over, we can all go home together, right? With you and Aqua." She sounded uneasy; in the starlight, her crimson eyes glowed eerily.

Darkness didn't say anything, just stared silently up at the sky.

"Hell, I couldn't go home, could I?" I said. "This world might suck, but somehow I've got friends here. Buddies, even. I've got a house and all the money I could ever need. Besides. In this world, I've got…you know…" I glanced at them. Megumin started to smile. "I do not know. What is it that you have in this world?"

Darkness sat up, too. "Yeah, tell us, Kazuma. Don't act all embarrassed—spit it out. What is it? What do you have here?" They were both grinning at me.

Dammit, I shouldn't have let myself get swept up in the moment!

6

The next morning.

Maybe it was my fault for being dissatisfied with our smooth, trouble-free trip.

"A-a-adventurers! Monsters! There are monsters here! You're up!"

The driver's shout brought the bodyguards running from their carriage. In front of us was a horde of one of the very creatures I'd made mincemeat of in the dungeon a few days before: the man-eating devil, the ogre. They were gigantic, each over nine feet tall, and built like yakuza bruisers.

"What's a horde of ogres doing here?!" one of the adventurers shouted when they saw it. I didn't know how powerful ogres were—Vanir and Wiz had pinioned all the ones in the dungeon for me—but judging by that reaction, this was not a good situation.

The "horde" of ogres consisted of five monsters. Most of them had weapons;

only the biggest one was barehanded. At that, I jumped out of my carriage, which was just behind the one carrying all the other adventurers.

"Megumin, Darkness!" I called. "Let's help out! If we're really going to take down the Demon King, we can't be intimidated by a few ogres!"

"I agree completely! For me, defeating this horde will take no time at all!"

"Oh, j-just a second! The barehanded guy is one thing, but even I need my armor if I'm going to take on ogres with weapons…" I'd told her to put the damn armor on beforehand!

Ignoring Darkness, who was scrambling to get her armor out of its box, Megumin and I prepared to face off against the monsters.

We might be adventurers, but at this moment we were paying customers on a carriage ride. I felt bad, knowing that Megumin was all fired up, but I wanted to save our explosion. For this fight, we could restrict ourselves to playing a support role.

"Er gknew yer stinked of our brudders' blood!"

"Which erv yer diddit?! Gernta try'n hide, er yeh?!"

"Daz 'im in back! It's the wimpy-lookin' guy what stinks!"

The ogres sounded upset. It wasn't easy to make out what they were saying, but I thought I had the general idea.

Let's see: the weak-looking guy who killed their friends. That would be me.

Our bodyguards, all of whom had been hired in the beginner town, hadn't been expecting a bunch of ogres; they stood with their weapons drawn but looked distinctly unhappy.

"We'll handle the four short ones, noble leader. You take the big guy!"

"Wh-what, by myself?! Ugh, o-okay! Don't you die on me, you guys!" the person who appeared to be their leader said, and then he launched himself at the creatures.

The biggest ogre drew its sword and struck at the oncoming adventurer, cutting him down in a single stroke. The ogre barely glanced at the adventurer as he went flying aside; it just snorted and then headed for its target…!

"Megumin, Megumin! That guy just went flying!"

"Do not look away! Continue to make eye contact with them! In the natural world, the one who looks away first loses!" Megumin was glaring at them, her eyes shining crimson; beside her, I did my best to stare down the ogres, too.

"'Ey, liddle man! Whodoya think yer insultin' here?! Graaahhh!"

I immediately looked away.

"Why must you suddenly lose to them?! Now they think we are weak! The ogres are coming this way!"

"W-w-well, what was I supposed to do? They're terrifying!"

We couldn't exactly ask for help; the other bodyguards were all in the thick of a battle to defend the drivers and carriages. But I had awoken to my true potential as an overpowered protagonist. It wasn't time to panic yet!

"Watch closely, Megumin! I'm gonna show you the power unlocked by my awakening! Eat this! Firebaaaaalll!" I held my hands out toward the oncoming ogre and let off one of the magic spells I'd just learned!

"Hoh…dat's hot. Nice liddle try dere…" The ogre, though, simply caught the ball of fire in his hand and crushed it out, then blew hurriedly on his palm.

I guess my fireball didn't merit any more than a "dat's hot."

"What the hell? Magic isn't working on this guy! Are ogres that strong?!"

"You simply do not have enough magical power! The Adventurer class doesn't get any bonuses to its skills, so with your wimpy magic, even a creature whose magic resistance is as low as an ogre's doesn't feel your attacks!" Megumin shouted at me, then started to perform the incantation for Explosion.

"Now iz my turn! Jez yoo n' mee hand-ta-hand, all manly like! Lez go!"

"Um, no thanks—I'm more the cerebral type!" I shouted back. I stood in front of Megumin, shielding her from the charging ogre. Then I pressed my hand to the ground.

It looked like I had to give up on attack magic. But I was always more the underhanded type anyway. For example…!

"Create Earth Golem!"

For example, using a golem in place of a wall. I could snipe from behind it to buy Megumin time to finish her incantation… "Shit, why's it so small?! Why is it so small?! It hardly comes up to my waist!

This isn't like my Fireball! I put plenty of MP into this one!"

"You don't have that much MP to begin with, Kazuma! It's all right—I've completed my incantation! And I don't mean that I'm constantly chanting explosion magic all day, every day, not at all! Here I go!"

I couldn't do anything with them! I'd finally learned all these skills, and I couldn't do a damn thing with them! Here I thought I was going to get to charge in all Warriors-like, but boy, was I wrong!

I grabbed my bow and decided to make use of a skill I was already well acquainted with: Deadeye. Megumin might be done with her chant, but you couldn't be too careful!

"Arrrrghhh! Damn! They're gonna destroy us!" one of the bodyguards shouted as I was getting ready. Megumin twitched, glanced in their direction, and then:

"Exploooosion!!"

She dropped an explosion directly onto the ogres who were going for the drivers. She'd probably done her best to put the epicenter up in the air so that the other adventurers didn't get caught in the blast, but many were still thrown to the ground and knocked unconscious by the sheer force of it. Still, it was better than the alternative. Specifically, the alternative in which we would all have been dead.

We still had a problem, though… "D-damn it! Darkness, Darkness! Aren't you ready yet?!"

I had Megumin, collapsed from using up all her MP, on my back, and I was firing arrows at the ogre. It didn't matter that I was shooting him from point-blank range; he just held his hands in front of his face and blocked every shot.

"Ta take downna bigger opponent! Y'always gofer th' eyezz! Combat basicz!"

"This is why I hate intelligent monsters! Go forth, golem! Your name is—" But before I could name my tiny golem (whom I'd hoped to use as a shield), it was crushed underfoot.

"Buggerroff, ya liddle—" "That thing was no damn help!"

The ogre was focused squarely on me at the moment. Hoping to save Megumin from being the target of any attacks, I took the instant while he was crushing my golem to run like my life depended on it. The ogre leaped, punched at me, and— "Emergency Evade!"

"…?!"

I pirouetted neatly out of the way of an attack from an advanced monster, the sort of thing I would never normally have been able to dodge. It was an auto-evade ability taught to me by a monk—that is, a cleric who fights with their bare hands. It gave you a very high chance of dodging an enemy's attack: the perfect thing for me.

The ogre, shocked to miss its swing, turned back to me. I drew out the enchanted sword Dust had lent me, its polished blade catching the sunlight with a gentle glow.

Sure, now I had my sword out, but that didn't mean I had to go toe to toe with it. I wasn't alone, after all. All I had to do was buy time. With my newly increased level, I should be able to take one good attack from an ogre and keep on— "Run away, right now!" Megumin shouted when she saw me getting ready to meet my opponent. "An ogre's attacks can leave even veteran adventurers at death's door! For a weakling like you, they'd be critical!"

If I got seriously injured while Aqua wasn't here, I wouldn't get any second chances.

The ogre was rushing at me with its arms spread wide, as if to indicate it wasn't going to let me dodge the next one.

"O-okay! Okay! We can talk! We can talk like civilized people. Maybe we can come to an understanding…" "You cover yerself inna stink 'a my brudders' blood and then you wanna TALK?!" With an ogre who looked like a yakuza enforcer facing me down, I thought I might just pee my pants.

"K-Kazumaaaa!" Megumin shouted.

As for me, I cried, "Ahhhh! If I'd known things were going to turn out like this, I would have just done it with you yesterday instead of acting all coool! I don't wanna die a virgiiiiiiin!"

"Th-this man! Even at a moment like this—!"

The ogre was closing in on me (and the wish I'd let slip at the moment of my death).

But suddenly, something hard and pitch-black slammed the ogre away.

Who or what had appeared at my moment of greatest need? Of course, it was… "Took you long enough! This is why I said you should just keep the armor on!"

"Y-yeah, but then I was worried it would start to smell sweaty…!"

…Darkness, who'd been in the carriage getting her armor on until that exact moment, was blushing and making excuses. She drew her great sword and turned to face the ogre, which she'd shoved out of the way with a tackle. An ogre's attacks might be terrifying, but I was willing to bet Darkness could hold out against one even in a long fight. While she was keeping it busy, if I could go around and wake up the other adventurers… "I'm gonna kill you!" Darkness cried (most unladylike) before I could get the suggestion out of my mouth. She started swinging wildly at the ogre with her sword.

"You don't have to bother attacking it, Darkness, just buy us time until I can wake up the other—" I stopped mid-sentence. Something about Darkness looked strange.

"Kazuma, is it just me, or does Darkness not seem like her usual self? She isn't normally so aggressive."

Darkness, breathing hard, was gleefully chasing the ogre around. The masochist Crusader we knew so well was gone; even when the ogre attacked her, she simply absorbed the hits with her armor, shrugged them off, and went back after it… "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Hey, Darkness, that laugh is starting to sound like a certain demon's! It's got to be the armor! That must be what's doing it!"

The pitch-black armor Darkness was wearing didn't just reflect the sunlight; it seemed to glow with its own weird illumination. I didn't know whether it was blessed or cursed, but whatever power it was radiating, Darkness was obviously high on it.

Fine, we could get the armor off her later… What mattered right then was the ogre!

"Yanno howta fight, missie! And ripped abs, too—wanna join m' gang?"

Darkness, short-tempered as ever, rose to the bait immediately. "That's it! I'm gonna chop you into a million pieces!" This was starting to look dangerous, so I abandoned the idea of waking up the other adventurers and decided to focus on helping Darkness. Taking pot shots with my arrows was all well and good, but this situation called for a little magic…!

"Try this on for size! Flash!"

"Ahhhhhh?!"

My illumination magic produced an intense light with zero casting time. It blinded the ogre facing off with Darkness, and— "Gaaah! My eyes! My eyeeeees!"

"Wh-what do you think you are doing?! What good are you if you blind yourself with your own magic?!"

I'd been looking directly into the light, and it damn near blinded me. Shit!

Betrayed by the skill I just learned! I should have actually practiced a little, instead of assuming I'd make an amazing awakening debut in front of everyone!

"Grah! Now yeh've dunnit, yeh—!"

As I writhed on the ground waiting for my sight to come back, I heard the ogre's voice. Darkness must have finished off the blinded creature.

"Kazuma, are you a complete idiot or a total genius?" I still had my eyes closed as Megumin, sounding exasperated, pulled me to my feet.

"A-all this trouble is because of you, you runaway! Just wait till I find youuu!!"

I howled at Aqua—wherever she was and whatever she was doing.