Intermission:Useless Goddess Theatre(3)

We'd spent a little less than an hour in a rocking carriage on the way to Arcanletia.

"Um, Cecily, I'm getting pretty tired of this," I muttered.

"I feel the same way, Lady Aqua. Perhaps we should go home soon, then?"

Cecily replied immediately.

"Normally, I would definitely say we should, but we can't. After all, if we go home now, no one will save the people suffering under the Demon King." For a second there, I'd almost caved and decided to turn around.

"That's Lady Aqua for you. But I certainly understand being tired of traveling by carriage. Perhaps we should ask the driver if we could take a break soon?"

"No, Cecily, we've hardly left Axel. We were late leaving, and now I'm afraid Kazuma is going to catch up with me."

Cecily had shown me the way to the carriage depot, but then she'd wanted to go back to the Axis church to get a bunch of baggage, so we ended up missing the first carriage in the morning.

"I'm very sorry, Lady Aqua. It just takes a good woman a while to get ready."

"You're right—it's not your fault. There are only good women in the Axis Church, after all."

Maybe I would have to start deliberately taking extra time to get ready to leave from now on, just to make sure I was being a "good woman."

"I have to say, though, this carriage seems to be going awfully slowly," I remarked. "The last time we all went to Arcanletia together, I didn't have time to enjoy the scenery like this."

Cecily smiled as she looked out at the landscape rolling past. "This is a special tourist carriage that takes its time so you can enjoy the view. Oh, look over there, Lady Aqua! It's a group of Blue Crabs. They travel long distances protected from enemies and the desiccating effects of the sun by their hard shells. It's too early for egg-laying season, so they must be going to fight over territory."

"You sure know your crabs, Cecily. Hang on… Did you say this is a special tourist carriage? But I want to get to the Demon King's castle as fast as possible!" Those Blue Crabs were interesting, but somehow, I felt like this wasn't the time.

"Lady Aqua, there's a reason I chose this carriage. It's not a cheap one, and that's because they hire lots of guards to protect the tourists. If anything were to happen to an Arch-priest like you, Lady Aqua, it would be a loss for the entire world. You know they say 'slow and steady wins the race,' right? Well, let's take it slow and steady here."

"I see; having strong bodyguards along is definitely a plus. Slow and steady it is, then." What a smart woman Cecily was.

"Besides, the Axis Church will cover the expenses, so I figured, why not take an expensive ride?"

"That's a very good idea. Expensive is wonderful! And it doesn't make your butt sore!"

That was when it happened.

"Passengers, please be aware, the carriage is stopping! Some ogres have been spotted, presumably hunting the Blue Crabs! We'll be halting until they pass through!"

I looked up at the driver's voice to see several ogres chasing after the crabs.

"Cecily, don't ogres usually eat people?"

"I'm sure even they feel like crab from time to time, Lady Aqua."

... "You know, I feel like crab right about now."

"What a coincidence, Lady Aqua. I'd love to eat some crab, too. And there are such fresh ones walking right in front of us."

We glanced at the driver, a middle-aged man who smiled a little and shrugged at us. "Look at the size of that group. I don't suppose the ogres would be upset if you plucked one or two from the edge of the crowd. We've got some very capable guards we hired right in the next carriage. Why not go ahead and see if you can get your hands on some crabs?"

His suggestion gave me an even better idea. "We don't even have to go near them. We can get the crabs to come to us!"

"Lady Aqua, I know it may not be my place, but perhaps I could ask what you're planning to do next?"

I started preparing my spells as I replied, "I'm just going to get their attention."

"I'm afraid that doesn't tell me much, Lady Aqua. My priest's intuition gives me a bad feeling about this pattern, though…" I let loose with my magic before she could go any further. "It's been a while since I used this! We're in for a huge catch of crab today! False Fire!"

"Not a huge catch!" Cecily cried.

The crabs came scuttling toward the blue flames I unleashed, followed by the ogres… "Waaaaahhh! I haven't done this in a while, either! Kazumaaaaa!"

"I don't hate how you're this way, Lady Aquaaaaaa!"