Died?

This time, Paolo held Hart in the throat squeezing it hard that Hart was struggling to free himself. I didn't know what to do, I thought about the whole thing really hard. Does Hart worth it? If I save Hart, would he stay with me till the end? I dragged him into that, that didn't mean I should take responsibilities. Would I die? If Paolo killed Hart, would it be the end for me? Or, would it give me a new hope? Would I lose? Or would I win? What would happen to me? Would Paolo kill me too? "I'm done for!" I thought. There was clearly one thing I learnt while living, my life taught me a lot of things that I don't think I would know if I depended on someone else. My instincts were mostly wrong, so most of the times, I make wrong choices and regret it later. That time, I didn't know whether or not the choice I would make would do me any good. Anytime I felt that way, I rather make no choice and expect the worse. Who am I really? Do I have to do things like that to survive? I've watched a lot of movies but I could not relate. I don't believe in heaven, hell or any thing. I just worship myself. I want to believe but the fact that people have different religions and bring proof to support their beliefs, I failed to believe in any. I don't trust myself neither anyone not to mention, Hart. If Paolo killed Hart, I would not feel guilty. That was just who I was. No one could change me. My life comes first! I have to free myself before I think of anyone. I just did not want to lose myself. I did not tend to understand who I really am.

Hart struggled to free himself waving his hands towards me to help him. Before I knew, he fell and did not look like he was breathing. I did not know what to do. Paolo looked at me. It was as if I was his next aim. Without hesitation, I chose to run away. I ran as far as I could. But, I called the cops again. They insisted that what I was saying was not an emergency. I thought about my feelings, then I figured out that it was not love. It was pleasure. The fact that I had to run away when the person I claimed I loved was in danger showed how weak the love was. Hart must had been disappointed even in his death. But, I never cared. I cared about me first. I knew I could not sacrifice myself for a mere human. That was when I revealed the true me! THE TRUE ME!

Before I could realise, I was at somewhere I could not recognize. But, I was bittered that I was free. I sat down to reflect on my actions. But, I could feel remorseful. I wanted to go back but it was too late. Hart was dead. "Hart is dead." I thought. "The mafia Boss killed him. Now, there's no one left. " I cried. Though, my life came first but I regretted not helping him. The following day, I went back to the hotel. At first, I didn't understand what kind of hotel it was for it not to be any security that I could run to, to save Hart. I entered the hotel room, as expected, no one was there. Not even Hart's corpse. I hurried and packed my luggage because I was scared that Paolo would come for me. I ran to the airport and applied for the earliest flight to America. I called Karina and told her about it. She was speechless. The only words she said were to come home straight.

I reached America the next day. Karina went to pick me up. As soon as she saw me, she ran towards me and hugged me without saying anything. "I am scared. Even in America, I feel like Paolo is somewhere here looking for me. " I said as my voice trembled. "Hart is dead. Hart!" I cried out.

"It's fine. Whoever that Paolo is, I will catch him myself and kill him for you, okay?" She replied in a cold strange voice.

"What's wrong with you too? Why are you sounding like this? Why would you kill someone? Why? I am devastated. Why tell me that? You sound like this because you don't know who he is. " I said.

"Who? Who the heck is he? Is he not human?"

"He's a psychopath. Italian Mafia Boss. " I said.

Karina's face changed.

"What? I mean, what do you guys get to do with mafia Boss? Hey, why were you guys involved with the mafia?"

"It's crazy right? Because of one damn company, one damn grandfather, I have to lose Hart. The weirdest and strongest Boss I've met. I have to lose him. Because of Miami book company, I have to lose him. I have to cry. " I screamed. All eyes were on me at the airport.

"Miami? What does Miami have to do with this? I mean, why is Miami involved?"

" For a dumb reason. I wish all these are not real. I wish they are not really real. I wish this is just a nightmare. A nightmare that I have to wake up from. An unexpected nightmare. I wish this is just a nightmare. " I said as I cried hard.

"You will tell me everything when we get home. For now, just stop crying. Everything is going to be fine. "

"No! Don't tell me that. Nothing is fine. I always told Hart that. But, what happened at the end? He died. Nothing is fine. Nothing would be fine. Even after his death, the world didn't change. Miami book company is still out there shining. Hart's grandfather is still there. He will probably take over L'art and sell it. Hart did not want that. Nothing is fine. " I said as I cried deep down in me. What I said was right. Nothing indeed was fine.