Un/Conscious

Eighty-Seven:

Dream World

"I already went to sleep after not solving the time loop happening to me." I simply answered although there's something serious about their reactions and whatever it was, I badly wanted to know what it is. And yet, I choose to find the right time to do it for now, I just need an explanation, a concrete one. "However, before I go to sleep, I made sure that I recording myself if something might happen if I lost my time again. And those are the things I couldn't recall." I added. "So, back to you two. What will happen to me? Or rather, what is going on with me? Can you explain it or can someone explain it if you two can't." I seriously added.

"That is what we were talking about before you came." Dione answered. "I don't have any idea what is going on with you, Jeanne. Because the truth, it was also my first hearing such thing to happen to someone who drink the water of forgetfulness."

"Then, why don't we ask the God of Time. He might help us find the right answer–– oh! Of course he can answer it much clearly." I answered with certainty. "Bring me to him." I added with eagerness and determination.

"But––"

"I'll bring you to him." Dione immediately cuts off Asim.

"Good, thank you." I answered.

"Wait!" Asim worriedly looks at Dione. "Are you sure about this?"

"Indeed I am," she surely answered. "Because I also want to know what is happening and I know you want to know it too, right?"

He gave up a sigh before answering. "Alright, I'll go with you two."

*** ***

Beyond

"Where are we?"

"In beyond." Asim answered. "This is the only place where we can talk to the God of Time without venturing through the Heaven's Realm. Because it will only put you in danger if you'll go to that place for the second time."

I know what he was talking about and he was right, I may not be able to stand a chance to live at those God's Realm since the man who supported and guided me was gone. I couldn't even remember his name and his face although, I know if I see him again, I will easily recognize him. That takes me back to my question… why did I forget him? How did that happen?

I badly wanted to ask Dione or Asim however, I keep myself for hurting much further. Because as long as I keep trying to remember his name and face, pain will emerge that trapping me in this endless sorrow and pain. As if it suffocate me or even drown me into unknown deep darkness. So, rather not to think of him and focus myself to most important thing, about the lost time I'm experiencing.

"His here." Suddenly I heard Dione announces and when I look forward, I saw the same God that I saw when we went at the Heaven's Realm. He is the 'God of Time' and I really hope he may able to answer the phenomenon happening to me.

…

It took long before the God of Time answer and to my surprise that I didn't expect to hear.

"I'm sorry but I can't see those times you had lost."

"Why?" we all asked surprisingly.

"Because it is only you who can answer your questions," he simply answered that made me speechless.

"So, I am right from what I thought." It was Dione. "Not even a God or a Goddess can see through it."

"What do you mean?" I asked clueless of what they are saying.

"It was because you are a Special Spirit, Jeanne." It was the God of Time who answered. "And with your abilities that are beginning to awake, it affects the entire Gods and Goddesses to see what is happening to you. The reason why it was only you who can open the memories you can't remember."

"How? I don't even know how to use or control my abilities that you were talking."

"After drinking the water given by Almos, your conscious and unconscious mind separates that you've thought you were losing your memories. But in reality, you aren't because you knew everything or should I say it was your conscious mind who knows everything."

"My conscious mind? How?" I am clueless and still end up more clueless.

"Try to focus on your own and you'll find all your answer once you open up yourself to your own self."

*** ***

Dream World

"How's your realm, Almos?"

"It is fine."

"Good." Morpheus answered and I thought he will just leave me alone just like what he always do yet he didn't that surprised me a bit.

"What?" I asked as I cannot handle the silence he was giving me.

"Are you not curious about Lady Jeanne?"

He asked the question I badly wanted to avoid and I know I can no longer avoid it if I just left it unanswered as I always do.

I take a deep breath before I answered. "I already cut off all our ties when I decided to give the bottle of forgetfulness to her."

"Alright, but then you didn't answer my question."

"I already did."

"Cutting ties doesn't mean you're not curious anymore." He answered and added. "Like what you'd done last time."

"What?" what he said last surprised me.

"Oh, come on! This is my entire realm and I know everything that is happening around so you don't have to be discreet Almos. Anyways, it's still up to you to decide if you'll continue to follow her in shadows or in person." He said before leaving me alone.

I tightly close my eyes as I take a deep breath before opening my eyes only to see the horizon. My mind is blank after I decided to leave Jeanne and it was all because of what I heard from a God that knows Ilmatar.

"If you continue showing yourself to her, you'll only put her in much danger."

*** ***