Almost The Same

"I heard we have a new professor," one of my classmates exclaimed with excitement.

"Yeah, and I heard he's incredibly handsome and attractive," added one of the mean girls in our class, her voice dripping with a seductive tone.

"And hot!" One of her minions exclaimed with excitement too

 They were all talking about the new professor, who had become the talk of the campus. The classroom seemed unusually loud today since our current professor was absent, but she had left us with an activity to complete.

I was in my second year of college, pursuing my studies in BVSc (Bachelor of Veterinary Science). I chose this course because I care about animals and their health and happiness.

Amidst the whispers and giggles, my best friend Kresha turned to me, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

"OMG, I'm so excited to meet our new professor!" she said, all pumped up. She was the type who went after cute guys without thinking twice.

I smiled at her infectious excitement, grateful for her unwavering support during my most challenging times. Kresha happened to be my best friend. She had been there for me during my darkest times when I took a break from school for over two years to grieve. She had decided to pause her education to support and be by my side.

She visited me regularly, offering comfort during those moments when I felt like life wasn't worth living. It was during that period that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, struggling to cope with the loss of my boyfriend, Jouash.

Every night, tears stained my pillow, but Kresha never left my side. She helped me heal, although the wounds were not completely closed. Now, I was trying to rebuild myself and step back into the world. Together, we decided to resume our studies and attend college again finding solace in each other's company. She was my anchor, my remaining hope after losing a precious diamond.

As everyone got excited about the new professor, I wasn't feeling it. I was more into my journey of getting better. What someone looked like didn't matter much to me now. What counted was the strength I found in myself the unwavering support from my dear friend Kresha and my family, and the unforgettable love from the one person I have loved so much.

When the bell rang, I hurriedly made my way to our next class, my heart pounded with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Kresha, my best friend, couldn't help but notice my restlessness and decided to playfully tease me.

"Hey, Mosh, why the rush? Are you more excited to see our professor than me?" Kresha teased as she chased after me. I don't know why I'm in such a hurry, my heart is racing like I'm being chased or something.

"Mosh, I know our professor's good-looking, but don't make it too obvious you're dying to catch a glimpse of him. I should be the first to see him," she kept teasing. Annoyed by her non-stop chatter, I gave her a quick slap on the neck and rolled my eyes, then kept walking.

She nudged my arm and exclaimed, "Mosh, c'mon I can tell you're secretly excited to see our new professor. I bet he's going to be a total heartthrob!"

I looked at her confused and tried to brush off her comment. "Come on, Kresha, it's not that big of a deal. Let's just focus on our studies," I said as we kept walking.

With a mischievous grin, Kresha kept going, "Oh, don't play innocent! I know you too well. You've always had a thing for good-looking guys. I bet you'll be the first to fall for him."

What's with her now? She's the one who easily falls for handsome guys and ends up getting hurt. I think she's the one who needs therapy, not me.

Rolling my eyes, I retorted, "You're exaggerating, Kresha. Looks aren't everything. Let's not get carried away with superficial judgments."

Kresha chuckled, clearly enjoying the teasing. "Sure, looks aren't everything, but it's always fun to admire some eye candy, right?"

Attempting to shift the conversation, I pointed out, "We shouldn't judge our professor solely based on his appearance. What truly matters is his ability to teach and inspire us."

But Kresha couldn't resist adding, "Oh, Rialle, I can't wait to see the look on your face when you see him." The heck! Seriously, is she really my best friend?

Feeling annoyed, I jokingly swatted Kresha's arm. "Let's see who can keep their cool when we meet him. We've got bigger things to worry about, like our studies and our future careers. Plus, I only make promises to one person, and he'll always have my heart."

As we walked into the classroom, I tried to block out the ongoing conversations about the professor's rumored good looks. I reminded myself to stay focused and not let shallow stuff distract me from what really matters: doing well in my vet studies and getting better at it.

As we walked in, the new professor wasn't there yet.

"Look at you, rushing," Kresha teased from behind me. I am clearly not rushing because I was born tall unlike her Those little legs are just making her a slow walker

"Oh, see don't be too excited our professor isn't here yet. It seems like you want to be the first one to see him huh," Kresha teased, smirking. "But hold off on the flirting for now. I'll be the one doing the chasing." she joked and chuckled.

 I paid no mind to her playful jokes and immediately took my seat near the window. I loved sitting by the window, enjoying the fresh air, and remembering our first encounter, the unforgettable encounter with the man I loved truly.

I missed you so much, I am trying so hard to live my life for you because you said so you said I had to fight and continue living even if it's hard without you. If I could go back in time I would

Looking out at the field, I suddenly saw him—Jouash, with a big smile on his face, waving at me. The way he looked melted my heart. It was that moment when he saw me sitting on the bench, lost in thought, and then he caught my eye. It felt so real.

"Good afternoon, class!" Someone's voice echoed, sounding oddly familiar.

Did I really hear his voice, or was it just my mind playing tricks on me because I had been thinking about him? Or perhaps my imagination was running wild. I couldn't move my gaze away from the window beside me; it felt as though something heavy held it in place. I was nervous and puzzled at the same time.

"Good afternoon, sir," my classmates greeted. Wait, was that the professor's voice?

"Good morning, sir!" Startled, I stood up to greet him without even seeing him. Everyone laughed as I found myself standing alone, feeling foolish. Embarrassed, I quickly sat back down my gaze still looking down, and Kresha nudged me, amused, saying, "Look at our new professor."

"What?" I whispered back. "Don't talk to me, you didn't tell me that he's here" I said feeling a bit mad

"He's-- darn," she said, looking shocked from the corner of my eye.

"I don't care," I whispered back, still feeling upset.

"Noo what I mean is, just look at him I can't tell it, "She said convinced me, so I did As I lifted my gaze, I found him looking directly at me.

 and I regretted it...

I felt a jolt of surprise flash across his face, but he quickly regained his composure. I couldn't speak; my heart raced, and I even felt the pain again. I was stunned, just staring at our professor, not sure what to feel. My chest was pounding, I didn't know what to do, what to feel and I felt like I couldn't breathe right. It's consuming me—I wanted to run, to cry, to break things. Kresha held my hand; she felt it too. Tears started welling up, but her pinch brought me back to reality.

"You look handsome, sir!" a flirtatious classmate exclaimed.

"You're quite flirtatious too!" retorted another classmate who always seemed to be at odds with her.

She glared at him, rolling her eyes.

I try to divert my attention to the ballpen I am holding trying to break my focus to him, but I cannot resist looking at him

He glanced in my direction, but his expression remained neutral.

No, this couldn't be him. He is gone too long ago.

"Have you had your lunch?" he asked, furrowing his brow. Confused, I gave him a perplexed look.

"Yeah, sir," I said, feeling flustered. I didn't get why he was asking such a random question.

"Then why do you look so out of it?" he said sarcastically. My classmates chuckled. I furrowed my brow in confusion. What was going on? Before I could say anything, he sarcastically followed up with another question. "Got someone on your mind, maybe?" he said, clearing his throat.

"Uh, no, sir, sorry," I stammered, feeling flustered.

I was stunned, getting a nudge from Kresha, who looked concerned now. I felt both confused and nervous. What was going on? He was asking these random questions.

"Alright, I'm your new professor for this term. I'll be teaching you Animal Biotechnology. Don't space out in my class, I don't like students who aren't paying attention," he said seriously, looking at us then glance my way. 

As I looked at him, I couldn't help but see the resemblance to the boy I had loved before. But I had promised him before he died, that he would always be the man I loved. They had the same mark on the side of their brows and the same eyes. Memories flooded back, and tears began streaming down my cheeks once more.

"Quit thinking about that person," he said, which made me even more nervous and confused.

I was so confused and overwhelmed. Why was he saying these random things? If he was my love, he would have hugged me. It didn't make sense. I was just hallucinating.

It is not him because he doesn't have an ugly attitude though. They just sound the same and look the same doesn't mean he is Jouash because I witnessed how he was buried.

I looked at Kresha, who had a mix of surprise and curiosity written all over her face. To calm my nerves, I spun my ballpoint pen, trying to ease my anxiety and focus, even though I was already distracted by his presence actions, and words.

I noticed Kresha writing something on a piece of paper and passing it to me.

"Do you notice it? he looks like Jo and his voice. Sorry, I brought him back to your mind."

I gave her a small smile making her feel that I was okay and wrote a response.

"I thought of that too. :<" I replied passing the note back to her

She began writing another note and handed it to me.

"His words are confusing. It's like he's trying to say something" she writes

"This can't be him cause he's long gone," I wrote back, passing it to her.

I tried to focus on the entire class, but memories flooded my mind, causing me to break down. I rushed into the comfort room, where I cried loudly, the tears flowing freely.

I know that Kresha covered me up again.

Minutes later, she came and knocked on the cubicle.

"Mosh, it's okay. I'm always here for you. Nothing can beat the pain you're going through because my love for you is stronger. Come on, let's get out of here. Let's take a break from everything," she said, sounding comforting. I stepped out of the cubicle, and she gave me her handkerchief. I wiped my tears and hugged her tight. She comforted me until I felt better.

"I never knew that was the plot twist, Mosh. Sorry for teasing you earlier. I love you," she said, laughing to lighten up the mood. 

"I didn't even expect Kresh. I just hope I'm hallucinating. I want to get better," I said, feeling so burdened.

We skipped the next class because she took me to Starbucks to buy me ice cream. She believes ice cream can heal your soul. She's so silly, always doing this when I'm upset. Even at night, she sneaks out of her house to come to mine and bring me ice cream. I'm so lucky to have her. I think Jouash must have made a deal with her.