Chapter 10: Nicholas

Nicholas p.o.v.

I was so lost in those ocean blue eyes and those hard erected nipples pressed against me that the sound of footsteps almost got unnoticed by me...almost, as I immediately turned around unwrapping my arms from her small waist.

" Your grace, I am hungry...", Lady Annie whined as she entered the kitchen and crouched at the chair, her amber eyes peering up at us, "Did I interrupt something?"

She looked between Xenia and me and there was a moment of silence, which I didn't interrupt, both out of guilt and because I didn't trust my voice. Whatever happened with Xenia just now was so raw—so fucking intimate—and I was filled with rage since morning at this Aldrich asshole, who finally dare to write a letter to Xenia, which I obviously didn't give her yet and also this ferocious, unswerving envy that he got be marry her, got to be inside her and that king Aldrich didn't deserve Xenia, not one bit.

But mostly, because I was so fucking hard I couldn't think straight.

" No, Father was just helping me.", Xenia replied and straddled in front of her, unbothered by whatever happened just now, unlike me...My entire body was practically shaking, especially my throbbing hard dick.

Taking a deep breath, I also sat next to Xenia, silently confiding a hail mary for myself that Xenia took care of that awkward situation because if, Lady Annie suspected even a little intimacy between Xenia and me, she would report that to her mother, who would gladly report that to the pope...and they would gladly hang me or burn me at the stack for breaking my vows knowingly.

We didn't speak much during lunch, Lady Annie was busy devouring that delicious dish, and Xenia was busy with her own world, thinking god knows what. And I? I was restraining myself from touching Xenia, she was just next to me and whenever our hand accidentally brushed, blood rushed straight to my groin.

I was just going to apologise to her because of the way I acted over the past few weeks, most importantly for this morning. I didn't intend to speak so harshly or jerk her hand away...it was just I had that wildest dream about Xenia last night and I woke up gliding my hips on the mattress and then almost fucking my hand imagining that pillow as Xenia, I somehow able to stop myself but I went as far as rubbing myself on that pillow and also I grabbed my painfully hard dick, thankfully, just grabbed it nothing more.

Even touching yourself is a worldly sin, after all, masturbation is the act of consummating the lust of the flesh...and it's been six or seven years since I committed that sin. It was an early stage of my priesthood so that was reasonable but now, after twelve years...twelve years of restraining and self-control just crumbled because of one young woman. I knew it was not her fault, but I couldn't help but get angry that she made me hard when I didn't want to.

" Oh, poor cousin...", Lady Annie suddenly screeched making me look up at her, she was grasping Xenia's hand, staring at her fingers with wide eyes, " You don't even have any ring on your finger.", she gasped, " Do you want mine?"

Normally, I would have ignored her dramatic behaviour but then, I noticed that shiny ring she offered Xenia...The emblem of the Alexandrovna family house was proudly glimmering on it. I recognised it because every royal family has this kind of ring, made for their clan head.

Judging the pale face of Xenia, I could say she also recognised it, and why wouldn't she as this ring belonged to her brother who died in the same war I fought years ago...just from the rival side.

" From where you got this, I gave that to Azrael when I left the palace...", Xenia breathed, softly touching the ring with her thumb.

Azrael...oh, I remember him, if I am not wrong Xenia was betrothed to him before that french king. And he was also the younger brother of Lady Annie's sick husband. And that makes me think, why in god's name she is here, leaving her dying husband alone? Fuck, this stupid erection, I forgot to ask the reason for her sudden arrival.

I glanced at Xenia, she was about to wear that ring but then suddenly Lady Annie snatched that ring from her, " Forgive me, I forgot...", she smirked, " I cannot give this, Lord Azrael gifted me."

I didn't even need to look at Lady Annie's evil smile to know that she is doing this on purpose to make Xenia angry, perhaps for proving her point that Xenia didn't suit to be a queen. They all think that I have the eyes and ears of pope so proving anything to me would benefit their scheme. However, I am well aware of their dirty politics of changing the successor and Xenia also knew, so no need to worry...

" HORSESHIT!"

Great. And here I thought, I taught her well. If she behaves like this in front of the Lords...no doubt Annie and her mother's plan would work.

Before I could calm her, Xenia banged her hand on the table, making Annie flinch. Those feisty blue eyes were glaring at her like a tigress, " Annie...I have more jewellery you had ever seen. So, don't need to fucking..."

" Xenia..."

I wanted to scold Xenia for cursing, I should scold her, but it was unbearably sexy when those rough words left her lips...those kinds of things used to get me off before, perhaps they will get her off too. God, Nicholas...what am I thinking...

" Father, it's fine.", Lady Annie said in her fake polite voice, " I can understand, Xenia forget how to behave like a good lady."

I almost rolled my eyes, who wants a good lady anyway...At least I never did. I was in love with a whore once, Samara was one of the best. And then, she got murdered because of me...because of my love.

" Don't worry, I could teach you again how to behave like a civil person, not a prostitute..."

This is getting too much now, I wasn't saying anything out of respect and the fact I am a priest and I shouldn't interfere but she is deliberately disrespecting Xenia. I needed to say something, needed to help Xenia, no one should talk to a queen like that, yes she didn't have a coronation yet but Xenia didn't need a crown to show everyone that she is a queen... it was on her blood and soul.

I have to choose my words wisely but fuck, my mind was still not working and it was so difficult to focus on anything other than the image of Xenia pressed against that wooden shelf while I fuck her mindlessly. I was going to hell for even thinking this, especially since I already pressed her between me and the shelf barely some minutes ago. Although, I didn't fuck her...but I am sure as hell I would have.

" I forgive you for your rudeness cousin."

When I was busy debating inside my mind what to say, Lady Annie taunted again, making Xenia groan, " I didn't ask your forgiveness, I didn't need to."

My hand over her knee made Xenia stop mid-sentence, I could hear her shaky breath when I slowly rubbed my thumb, the soft silk gown restraining my hand to touch her skin, but still...I could feel her.

" So, what brings you here, lady Annie?", I asked diverting the topic as it was no use to saying anything, Xenia's anger will do nothing but satisfy her because that's what she wanted. Once Xenia will become queen, she could do as she pleases with those people who wanted her to suffer. For now, she should just see the true colours of the people around her, and make sure to remember their faces.

" Yes Father, I came here on my mother's behalf."

My eyes were on Lady Annie, she was speaking something...but honestly, I wasn't listening to whatever hell she was blabbering. All I hear was a meeting with England's ambassador and her mother and that was enough. I will get that over with as soon as possible and then she will go back, leaving me and Xenia alone...why the hell does this sound sinfully good?

I felt Xenia slowly shifting on the chair and then...suddenly I was too aware of everything, too aware of my hand on her leg, which was now near her inner thighs rather than her knee, too aware of her heavy breathing and how her legs were pressed together or how she was rubbing her thighs. And then...I tightly squeezed her thigh, my eyes were still on Lady Annie who was telling god knows what, but all my focus was on Xenia, and my gliding hand, just near that heaven between her thighs.

I knew I should remove my hand, I knew this was so wrong and god will never forgive me for this, but still, I again squeezed her thigh, softly kneading my thumb over her skin and Xenia parted her leg. I could still remove my hand, I could easily hold back...but I didn't want to and that makes my hand meander more...and more until my finger touched her clit, that thin silk cloth still restricted our skin to touch, but there was no doubt she was dripping.

Lady Annie was busy eating her bacon, so I looked at Xenia, her eyes glued to her plate...bottom lip pressed between her teeth. I stoped myself from groaning out loud just by watching her lips... I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop myself and my finger to shove between her parted thighs. Xenia gasped as she looked up at me, her bright blue eyes growing wide, " Father...", she breathed. We stared at each other for a moment. Her face was so red...and I couldn't understand the look in her eyes, desire, lust...perhaps shame?

Shame, I knew that feeling...I was feeling it right now as if looking at her face made me realise what am I doing doing and to whom...she is Xenia of all people, in fact, that feeling immediately forced my hand to my thigh, well away from my erection; If I rub myself over my clothes, Xenia won't notice would she? Stop, I ordered myself. And when you are alone you can take care of your... problem.

Perhaps a little sin would be better than a far greater sin... I will pray and ask for forgiveness after jerking myself, this would work to control myself.

Looking away from still stunned Xenia, I abruptly stood up, " So, we should go now if we wanted to return before midnight.", I stated to Lady Annie, leaving the room immediately before my hard dick again forced me to do something unpardonable.