Chapter 11: Xenia

Xenia p.o.v.

" So, we should go now if we wanted to return before midnight."

What was this feeling? This weird throbbing sensation, that made me press my thighs together but at the same time I wanted to open my legs for his finger to enter too...That feel of his hand was much more satisfying than mine, and that was when Father Nicholas didn't even touch me properly. How good it will feel when he really touched me like that...wait for a second, Father Nicholas just said something about going somewhere, didn't he? Or was I imagining everything?

Averting my gaze from the plate, I glanced beside me, only to find an empty chair...Now I remember, he again ran away from me like I was some profanity. I was so lost in that euphoric sensation that didn't even notice, how he reacted again...He did touch me there, or I was...no, Xenia, you are not a mad queen. Father Nicholas did touch me before he squeezed my thighs so tightly, twice. I was not imagining this time.

Shaking my head at my stupidness, I finally managed to stand up, my clit was painfully aching as if someone was shoving needles in it and right now, I only wanted to lay down and shove my fingers between my thighs, or I wanted Father Nicholas to thrust inside me maliciously, I wanted to feel him inside me and I wanted his rough hands all over my naked body. God...even imagining this made my entire body tremble in need.

Control Xenia, you can fantasise about Father later, I decreed myself before looking at Annie, she was also about to stand up after drinking water, " Go... where?", I asked in a stern tone, controlling my anger which intensified after seeing her face. Using my brother's ring to provoke me was really a dirty trick. Just wait, I will avenge each and everything, once I became queen.

Annie just rolled her eyes at me after listening to my question, "Where was your mind, didn't you listen to us?"

My mind was obviously between my legs.

Groaning, I left the kitchen as it was no use asking Annie. My legs hurriedly strolled down the wooden stairs, " Father...", I stopped him, peeking out from the bannister. Thankfully, I was not late, he was just on the ground floor.

Finally reaching the ground floor, I took a deep breath...I never ran like this, at least not on the stairs, which could crumble any second.

I walked towards Father Nicholas, who was standing near Poison, patting his black fur lovingly. Deadly neigh excitedly when she saw me entering the stable, but like the intelligent horse she is, she stopped and silently sit back noticing my serious expression. We have two horses, a stallion and a mare. Father Nicholas gifted me this beautiful white horse on my fifteen birthday and I named her Deadly, just because it suited with Father Nicholas' horse name, poison.

Poison loves Deadly and so does she, since the day they met...Look, even my horse is luckier than me, having the love of her life...and here I was, miserable.

" Where are you going?", I asked, standing in front of Father. He glanced at me for a second but then again averted his gaze. So, he is not going to even look at me now? Great

Father Nicholas cleared his throat, his hand still caressing Poison, " I need to meet someone, they send lady Annie to bring me to her mother and English ambassador.", he replied, finally looking at me.

The bright sunlight was fondling his half face due to the broken shelter. His blue eyes again appeared as lighter shades of grey, black hair loosely dangled on his forehead and his creamy white skin literally glimmered in this daylight, only one word could justify his beauty, magical. Father Nicholas was magical and there was no doubt, he intoxicated me with his sinful charm.

While I was so busy admiring him, he was busy looking anywhere but me. His eyes didn't meet mine, not for a second. Father Nicholas was making it too awkward but this time, I could understand, I could understand he might be regretting whatever happen there...he touched me, even that was over the cloth and just for one second, but he did and that would be enough to drown him in a pool of guilt as Father saw me as his real daughter and also, by touching me, he almost broke those vows, he cherished so much. Perhaps, I shouldn't have overreacted like that...if Father Nicholas going to be this depressing just by touching me, then I didn't want his touch.

We could talk about this later but for now, we had a more pressing matter to discuss. I couldn't let him go anywhere with Annie, didn't know what she wanted to achieve this time and her mother was also not trustworthy and wanted the throne for her daughter, Annie instead, " Father, you shouldn't go alone.", I said, " I will go with you..."

" No, you can't.", Annie suddenly said from behind making me look back at her, that long silk gown touching the ground, cleaning the floor too as she walked towards us. Good, at least I get one positive outcome from her arrival as this stable did need the cleaning.

" And why not?", I raised my brow as Annie stood in front of me. She didn't reply for a minute just snickered hearing me, " what will you do there...it's men's work...politics."

" So why are you going...", I countered making her huff as she tiredly rolled her eyes at me again, " Because my mother is special to those people, which obviously makes me special."

Of course, she would... Her mother is mistress of my father by the way. After my distant uncle died, Annie and her mother moved in with us in the castle and it did not even take her some months to make my Father fall in love with her. And after that, my mother was just a queen in name, all the power was held by my Father's mistress, Annie's mother. Even after that, my overly generous mother still loved Annie like her own daughter; one of the reasons, Annie is a spoiled princess when she is not even a princess in reality...my distant uncle was half-blood and didn't hold any titles, which makes Annie a non-royal but still, she claimed to become a queen as long as I knew her.

" And I don't think, you are any use in political business.", Annie adds, making me glare at her wicked amber eyes.

Did she have any idea, who was she talking to?

" Do you know how many soldiers are in our enemy's army?", I asked, " Or, how their relationship is to their neighbourhood countries. ", I took a step towards Annie, making her step back, " Or...how plague infected in Napels?", I tilted my head, smirking at her frightened face and wide eyes, " And do you even know how to write...or read?"

" No, right?", I raised my brow, " But I do...so I am a far better companion for Father Nicholas than you..."

" Go to your room, Xenia."

Father didn't just say that...Tell me my ears heard wrong.

" What...", I asked turning around and peering up at his now, darkened blue eyes, " I said, go to your room...your grace", Father repeated, but it sounded more like a threat to me. I parted my lips to say something smart but then decided to keep my mouth shut after noticing the warning in her tone and the seriousness on his face.

Last time I disobeyed Father by going to the city without a guard, that hadn't ended well for me. He made me clean pigshit for an entire month...can anyone believe, this man made a princess clean a fucking pigshit! I don't want another punishment like that.

Fine...without saying anything, I turned around and left the stable.

I was now inside my room, walking left to right...feeling annoyed. Father better come upstairs and explain his reasons to me before leaving otherwise...otherwise what, What possible I could do with Father Nicholas for his bad behaviour...Okay, why the hell my mind had got dirty ideas just now?

My eyes peered up at Father Nicholas when he entered my room, closing the door behind him, he came towards me, " Look, you are queen, it was not safe for you to go there."

" And it was for you?", I snapped, still walking left to right...I knew something was fishy, there was some hidden agenda of Annie taking Father Nicholas with her. And stupid Father was not fucking listening to me, " You didn't even have any sword.", I add, still walking in the small space between my bed and wall, Father Nicholas was just standing there watching my bizarre behaviour.

He sighed, coming in front of me the way my weird march needed to stop, " I don't need a sword.", Father stated gently, looking down at my panicked face.

" But..."

A part of me realised that I was behaving more like a wife rather than a daughter perhaps... But he hadn't behaved like a father either when suddenly he cupped my cheeks with his both hands, making my face to look up at him, " Trust me.", Father Nicholas whispered softly, and my heart skipped a beat...no, actually I thought my heart probably stopped working.

My eyes flickered up at him as I softly slide my hand over his black cassock, the cloth softer than a feather...it's untouchable, no one in the world came this close to him, no one in the world felt his protective touch like this, smell his minty breath like this, or stare into these deep blue eyes like this...just me, only me.

I think I should trust Father Nicholas, he knew all these politics better than me anyway.

" Fine", I sighed, " But come before dinner.", I ordered and he hummed.

" Promise me.", I stated, still looking into his eyes but now, his gaze wasn't on my eyes anymore...it was on my lips. His thumb slowly caressed my bottom lip for a second, his own lips parted in response as his rough skin brushed against my dry lips, leaving shudders all over my body and then he exhaled a deep breath.

Did Father Nicholas want to kiss me...God would forgive one kiss, wouldn't they? Just one. But before my thoughts could go any further. Father Nicholas cleared his throat and stepped back...his eyes again didn't meet mine, glued to the floor, " I promise.", he stated and abruptly left the room.

Was he ashamed of me...of us? Or was Father Nicholas ashamed of his feelings towards me, if there are any?