Tuz Honap

I am the eldest girl of the Tuz family.

From the time I was born until the age of 5, I never saw my parents.

I was brought up in luxury, but looked down upon by the servants.

As a child I realized that I was alone in a big world.

At the age of 5, I met parents who were bringing home another child.

Since phoenixes have a very low fertility, the parents' hope of having another child was nil, so they adopted another girl from a distant relative.

She introduced herself as my 'sister'.

I thought maybe I wouldn't be alone now that my parents came home and I had a sister, but the nightmare had only just begun.

The reason my parents didn't want me and the cause of the scorn from the servants was something I learned very quickly.

Apparently I was born as a black phoenix with ice powers - I was going to awaken the power of dark ice, which was more of a curse on our race and a shame.

That's why I was a phoenix that had to be sacrificed at the age of 18.

The reason was not very clear to me, but we know that now I was just a prisoner of my own blood.

I looked through all the books for ways to escape, but found nothing.

My childhood was a nightmare in many ways, but my so-called sister made sure to make it even more miserable for me.

Day by day I hated this sister brought into my life but I also loved her because she was the only one who even talked to me.

I hated parents who didn't even give me a name but I wanted their love...

I was caught in a constant cycle between love and hate.

Then something happened on the 14th anniversary.

While escaping the malicious eyes of the servants in the garden , I inadvertently saw a movement in the forest.

Out of curiosity I went to check and found an injured man.

I honestly didn't know how he got there but I gave him a tear to heal.

He thanked me and gave me a beautiful moon necklace.

It was the first gift I received in my life and the first time someone looked at me nicely.

Somehow I kept my relationship with him after the peace.

We communicated through letters and sometimes we met in wild areas and talked about our troubles.

Although I was hated by my family and everyone around me, no one cared where I was going.

Except that one day my sister found out.

I knew this fact because she quietly told me that she would keep it a secret, but that's not what I was afraid of.

What I was really afraid of was that she would get close to him and steal my love.

And as I knew my sister, she did.

I was watching her try to seduce my only friend and I wanted to kill her.

Cut it into pieces.

I wanted to break these chains that shackled my life.

Then something unexpected happened.

The man rejected it.

I was very happy.

My mind had all kinds of dreams now and it was as if life took on color.

The greater the joy was, the greater will be the sadness later.

On my 16th birthday, he asked me for blood.

I didn't know what he wanted to do with it but I gave it to him.

Then my family knew about our relationship.

I didn't know who notified them or if they always knew, but they threw me into the well as punishment.

The well was enchanted and I could not use magic in it. I couldn't go up because someone was guarding the exit and would throw me back.

The water was so cold.

Even though it was not deep, the water was very cold.

The night was also very dark.

I cried out loud for the first time.

I wanted my parents to show me mercy, but what I got were curses and stones.

A day passed, then another.

I couldn't feel my body anymore.

I was waiting for someone to pull me out of the well but no one was kind to me.

I used the stones they hit me with to dig into the rock. In the farthest point from the well, and with time I no longer had to stay in the water.

My parents were sure that I would not die of cold because I have the power of ice, but I was still in pain, still very cold.

For me the powers of which they were all so terrified never appeared.

I never had the power of the boots, and I didn't even know why.

There were times when I wanted to use it to protect myself but it never appeared.

I stayed in the well for two years.

I drew my happiest scenes on the wall so I wouldn't forget them.

Then my parents ordered the servants to pull me out of the well. I was very weak.

I only got food once a day, and my eyesight got worse being always underground.

I looked like a ghost when they finally took me out.

My face was blank, but it still had a glimmer of hope.

I knew best that I didn't have the ice powers and I thought that if the rest were aware of this fact, I would be able to have a life.

But hopes ended quickly.

I found out that the man I had befriended was a dragon.

He disappeared after taking my blood, and my parents imprisoned me in the well because the dragons could use my blood to enslave phoenixes.

I in the well still kept the warm memories with that man only to learn such a cruel truth.

Before the dragons perform a ritual that would doom the phoenixes, they must seal me...

The moon necklace that I had kept intact until now even at the bottom of the wells was in my hand.

I was locked in something similar to a cage and I was looking at this only gift I receive ever .

I was constantly looking at him not knowing what to do.

I had no desire to do anything.

I did not know what to do .

I don't hate anyone anymore.

I no longer believed in anyone.

I wasn't waiting for anyone.

Nobody loved me.

I were cut off from the world.

Then my soul awakened its powers.

Now I knew how to use my power.

I knew that now I could break free.

I could take revenge.

I could live freely...

But the burden of the consequences of my actions weighed on my shoulders.

I couldn't kill all the phoenix race, I couldn't kill all the dragon race, I couldn't make the two make peace.

I couldn't run when my blood was making the race suffer.

So I stayed in the cage looking at the necklace.

You could say it was the only thing I had left.

Then the day of the ritual came.

Through my eyes that were no longer blinded by sadness, hate, joy or hope I could see clearly for the first time.

I saw the deep fear that everyone who looked at me had.

I saw the hate and the relief.

I saw the joy and impatience.

Although I was in the center of the action, I felt like a spectator.

The ritual brought me terrible pain.

The ritual required four close blood relatives to limit my blood.

Then I found out that my parents became the chains that bound my hands.

Their death is reflected on my pupils.

In their dying moments they looked at me.

I don't know what they were thinking.

I don't know what they felt.

I don't know if they wanted to tell me something.

But I know there were no more waves on my heart.

Those people could no longer influence me at all.

My left leg chain became the uncle I never saw.

And for the right leg it was my cousin.

One of the people who brought nightmares to my childhood.

The pain of having my limbs pierced with chains of blood was unbearable, but I refrained from screaming.

I wanted to die with dignity.

Then the race leader came in front of me and raised a black knife.

This was a very old religion.

Is said to possess the energy of death, and one who is stabbed by her becomes sold to the goddess of death for eternity.

That's how they wanted to end the power of my blood, giving me an eternal death...

Somehow that little bit didn't bring me any pain.

I closed my eyes and saw my body being taken by darkness but I was still there.

My soul remained in the realm of the living.

No one could see me now.

No one could hear me now.

Nobody cares now.

So nothing has changed even after death.

I watched the years go by and the race prospered.

I saw how wars start and then end.

I was a silent spectator watching.

I traveled .

I looked at things that I had previously dreamed I would see, but felt only momentary happiness.

I wandered the universe for a long time then returned to my cave.

Now I was looking at the images I had carved a long, long time ago.

The phoenix race has gradually abandoned this planet.

Her resources became too few, and the traces of war could not be erased.

But I didn't want to leave ....

My soul was getting weaker and weaker.

I didn't know if I was going to die as a soul.

I didn't know but I didn't care.

The curse I was under could only be broken by ----.

But I searched for a long time and found nothing.

Time passed, and I remained the same.

Nothing has changed ...