Breakup with Suravi

I had complete trust over Suravi. Hence, Today I was trying to untie the pouch of love which was completely tied with the thread of her love. I removed the cotton from my forehead and put a small tape on the wound. I finished my breakfast and left for the college with hope that she would  understand me.

I was about to reach the college. I took another way unlike as usual. I wanted to go to the college taking the path opposite to the Kantipur Publication. As I was moving through the lane, few meters ahead I met one of my classmate Rhitik Joshi. 

I was not too close to him but I used to think him a nice mate. He used to call everyone "Mate". Hence, because of him the trend of "Mate" had been started in the college. As soon as he noticed me he called me. He said, "Hello mate, where have you been for so long?" "Oh, hello mate. I was not feeling well so I was taking rest. And why are you moving in the opposite direction? Are you not going to the college?" I said to him. He said, "I will reach there after some time. I have some work to do. Okay mate, you may reach there in time. Bye."

I moved my legs forward and reached the college within few minutes. I had already informed the coordinator. But, I felt it would be better to meet him and talk to him. Hence, I went directly towards his room.

He was inside the room sitting on the chair and was busy in his official work. I asked permission to enter the room and he told me to sit on the sofa infront of his desk. I sat there. He then said to me,"Look, Ratis. I am aware about your health and accident. You have already missed plenty of classes. But, you are bright student so you can cover up. Hence, focus on your studies. Do not think unnecessary stuffs. And work a bit harder." "Okay sir, I will give my best." I said to him and left the room.

I walked upstairs and reached upto my classroom. I entered the room and sat on the same place. Nothing was changed. But, I felt as if everything was improper. I felt as if the behaviour of Ranabhat and Avishek was also changed. All other friends present inside the room seemed to be strangers. I didn't talk to anyone as none of them approached me.

Suravi arrived but Rhitik was along with her. She didn't sit behind me that day. Instead she went to one of the bench at the backside of the room. She didn't even give me a look. Rhitik and she were sitting together on the bench at the corner of the room. I went up to the bench and said to her, "Suravi, how are you feeling? Are you alright?" She made her eyes big enough and looked at me for a while. Then in a loud voice she said,"Please don't bother me. I don't want to talk to you."

I was ashamed to know that I had disturbed her. And I realized that she didn't want to talk to me. I heard the sound of breaking glass inside me but I couldn't figure out if it was the glass or my heart was broken. I was feeling a deep pain inside. But where the wound was I couldn't discover. I didn't want to create a scene inside the classroom. Hence, I thought that I would talk to her on her way to hostel after college hours. So, I went to my own place and sat there silently.

The class started. Who entered the room and who left I didn't feel. I didn't hear who taught what and who asked me what. I was completely lost. I was waiting for the answer of a single question from her. "What was that and why was she doing so?"

The college hour ended. She left the classroom along with Rhitik. I followed them. Rhitik walked together with her upto the turning and changed his path. It was the same turning from where she used to take the lane for her hostel. I increased my speed. Before she could reach the gate of her hostel, I forced her to stop by blocking her path. I stood infront of her. "Leave my way and let me go. I don't want to talk to you." She said being a bit anxious. "But why?" I asked her. "I already told you that I don't want to talk to you." She shouted. "Then what were those all?" I said. "I don't want to know what all those you are talking about. Just leave." She said. "Those moments, that relationship and those promise. Do not you love me?" I said to her.

She remained silent for a while made her eyes big and red enough and said,"It does not suit your mouth to spell this word love. And remember one thing you are not legitimate to be loved by anyone. And for your kind information, I love Rhitik a lot, just more than myself. So, please leave me. Let me go."

What might have happened after that? The same thing happened what was likely to happen. She went inside her hostel. I stood there for a while. With the broken heart, lost mind and deep pain inside.

"Don't you have ears?" I got shocked when a gentleman scolded me from his car stopped just behind me. "Oh, sorry sir." I said and left the way for him. I had nothing left. Hence, I moved from there to board the bus. Perhaps, I thought to walk upto Koteswor hence I walked a few more. After I covered a few meters I passed through a club. A nepali song was being played through the speaker. The lyrics of the song was "I am moving very far leaving your town. And I promise I will never meet you again."

My inner heart was saying me to enter that club and sing that song aloud being unconsciously drunk but I didn't managed to generate courage to do so. Hence, I continued to move my legs.