Goblin theater: first scène; Vermin likes it wet and stinky

* It's me narrating for you. Without further ado, let's get back to our wonderful story. So, where were we? Ah... A week had passed since the adventurers' sad and tragic end. And still in the cave, the daily routine of the goblins remained unchanged, and our dear hero seemed to be more affected than his fellow goblins.

Haa how long have I been here already. It feels like forever. It's always the same thing. Normally, all we do is sharpen our weapons and fight each other endlessly.

Every little thing is a pretext for a fight and it's often bloody. I've even killed one or two group leaders like that and since then I've been left in peace. I was sleeping peacefully in the absence of the bulk of the troops who were out when I was woken up by the sound of the gong to warn us it was time for dinner.

Like all the others I rushed to the food and as always I was well served by my subordinates before another battle started in the soup.

- As disgusting as ever.

After which, I was about to return to my quiet corner when the commander arrived before announcing that everyone was getting ready to move somewhere else. For the whole afternoon, the place was in turmoil. To avoid any possible danger, the leader of the horde decided that the trip would be made in small groups.

Each group had its own departure time and ours was leaving in the middle of the night. So I took the opportunity to have a nap. Later someone woke me up to offer me a hunting trip, but I refused straight away, which demoralised my troop quite a bit. Too bad, I don't feel like it and that's that. I resumed my sleep until nightfall when the leader of our travelling party decided to leave in his turn.

As I made my way towards the exit of the cave, I realised that I hadn't seen the outside since the day I was born.

- I wonder what it must be like at night.

When I came out, I noticed that we were at the foot of a mountain, but high enough to see the forest from above. A small passageway ran along the side of the road. We could hardly walk along it on our own, but it was this road that we used to get around in the night.

After that, the road was quite long. We crossed the mountain road and then started down another long, arduous route between large rocks, before coming to a river that we walked alongside for several minutes, drinking in the process.

We took a short break at the side of the road. While others drank, others rested or slept, others washed their weapons and tools, others did a little scouting of the area. Afterwards, they returned with smiles on their faces, having found a pretty little farmer's cottage lost in these parts. The leader of the troop was quite happy with the discovery and decided to form a small group to take over the little house and its occupants. And I don't know why I found myself in this group. What's more, I volunteered because I was given this

"Daily quest: steal the book of spells. Accept or refuse?"

- The daily quest, but it's pitch black.

I then looked up at the sky and the sound of a rooster told me that the sun was about to rise.

- Off you go! Find all the females there and take them away. When we've finished playing with them, we'll offer them to the master for his ritual.

Pronounced the leader of the troop, sniggering along with the others. And so we went in dozens. It was a normal house with smoke coming out of the roof, a sign that it was well lived in. Hiding behind the trees and moving slowly but quickly, we approached the house.

- All I have to do is steal a lira that I think is inside and that's it. The rest is none of my business. Just the book.

I was trying to convince myself with this idea of what they were going to do to the occupants of this house. Then we finally arrived. While the others entered the courtyards and stables and the houses linked to them, I headed for the back of the main house.

I went and stood with my back to the walls before looking through one of the windows to check out the interior

- There's nobody in this room. I'm off.

The hardest part was opening the window without breaking it, but in the end I managed it without any problem before jumping into the bedroom. It was a very normal room. It had everything you could find in a normal human bedroom. I spent a while admiring it all.

The furniture, the bed, the sheets, the clothes hanging on the walls, the table with books in the room, the wardrobe and the crockery still in the room, I felt so good looking at them. Could it be nostalgia for a past life that's already long gone?

- It's so strange. Why does my heart help itself? Hmm

That's when I noticed an outfit, the end of which was sticking out of a cupboard, and I went over to look at it before taking it out completely. It turned out to be a pair of panties. Chocolate-coloured with an embroidered border. I thought it was beautiful and so exciting that I couldn't help but sniff it hard as I pressed it to my nose.

- It smells so good! Hmm it's so nice. It's still wet so the carrier's only just taken it out. That salty smell...eh what's that...

That's when I came to.

- Shit, I'd lost my head or something.

I'd acted without really being aware of it. It was as if my instincts had guided me. That's when I remembered what wok had said. She was saying that it was in my nature to desire murder and rape and now I wasn't thinking like a human.

- No! No! No! I would never do such a thing. Deep down I'm still human.

That's when I heard the sound of my fellow creatures outside.

- They were starting. I'd better hurry too.

As I put the knickers back in the cupboard, I saw a book lying on top of them and as I read it, it went something like this

- The book of spells. I don't believe it. I've already found it.

*Waaaaah, what a scripting skill. Seriously, you could have made an effort brother.

"You've obtained the book of spells. Quest complete. Bonus XP: 50."

- And that's it, I put it in the inventory and basta. Right, let's get out of here.

After that, I jumped out of the window, taking the book with me. As I couldn't hear my fellow creatures any more, I decided to have a look around.

- They're probably raping the owner of those panties... and why am I even thinking about that? I couldn't care less. I'm not going to join them, I'm just going to see what's going on.

As I approached the end of the house, I heard a strange scream as if one of my fellow creatures was shouting.

- Bloody barbarians, they're not going to fight over that too, are they?

Then I heard another one and it sounded really bad so I discreetly approached to have a look at what was going on while hiding behind the house.

- But what...

I saw one of my fellow creatures lying on the ground under the feet of a young lady who was pressing him down until she smashed his head in with a sadistic smile. There was also a man shooting energy bullets with his fingers like in a western film. All the goblins in the vicinity were being shot.

Those outside or inside the house through windows and doors or even those who tried to flee. He killed them all by shooting them and those bullets looked terrible. They'd blow their heads and bodies off effortlessly.

- Who are these people? Adventurers? What were they doing here? What's more, they look terribly dangerous.

The woman held out her finger and created a flame before shooting off several more flames from it. The flames flew like bullets but when they hit the target, they reduced it to ashes.

- The smiles on both their faces didn't do me any good.

So I decided to hide in my corner until the storm passed. And when they'd finished killing the others, they started picking up their bodies. Thanks to my skill, I could understand what they were saying. The woman said

- So, my darling, what are we going to do with these goblins?

- I hate waste. We'll make good use of their bodies. There must be some experiments you can only do with goblins, no?

- Yes! There must be! Besides, they'd be interesting ingredients for generic modification and the search for the ultimate aphrodisiac, wouldn't they? I've heard that these ugly creatures have overflowing and uncontrollable desires.

- Right? I should have gone on an adventure back then too. I might have known all that. Well, we'll see. I hope they weren't there to satisfy their impulses.

- But what if they were?

- Then I was right to kill them all.

They were immersed in their exchanges so I took the opportunity to run away at full speed. When they saw me, I was already several metres away. The girl fired one of her flames at me but missed, burning a nearby tree to the ground. So I quickly went on my way.

* At least, that's what our hero thought, but what's really going on? I'll tell you. When our couple of lovers saw Sham running away, they were very surprised. The woman pointed a gun at her

- There was one left.

- No, don't kill him.

* Pronounced the man. That's why she missed it. And why did she miss it? It's because

- He managed to completely erase his presence to the point where even we couldn't detect him. And yet we're high-ranking mages.

- All the more reason to kill him.

- No, it's not. Every feat deserves to be rewarded. He'll have life except for such a feat. He waited and waited while his comrades were being slaughtered. He waited for the right moment to strike. Just when we were both distracted...

- You look like you're in awe!

- And how I admire how much this animal resembles the only species I know capable of such deceit: Humans. Hahaha

- Stop your nonsense and let's finish quickly. I'm warning you that it was you who insisted that we go to the Dark Continent. And why is that?

- Well, apparently an ancient monster has woken up there. The whole continent is talking about it.

- An ancient monster? Like one of those from the legend of the heroes?

- Yes! In fact, several heroes are making their way to this continent at the moment. According to a friend, ancient relics and lost pages are resurfacing. Enough to animate magic researchers like us.

- I see. In that case, we should get going straight away.

- You're already getting wet just thinking about it. You'll never change, will you. But what about our pretty guinea pigs?

- Burn 'em down with the house. Make it look like the goblins did it. Look, we've already got proof.

* Pronounced the woman, pointing to the goblins' corpses. The guinea pigs they were talking about were undoubtedly the poor humans hanging by the hand in one of the closed rooms of the house. There was a whole family. And not one of them seemed to be alive. As for our couple, the woman had long black hair and wore a long black dress with brown eyes and silver ornaments on her feet, waist and ears. She was a very beautiful woman.

* The man looked to be in his forties with long blue curly hair. He wore simple clothes with a long white and blue coat. He also had a sword at his waist. They were a couple of magicians. After entering the house, the woman came out to find the man at the door who was flying the bodies of the goblins and scattering them all over the property. She said

- Do you have the book of spells?

- No, I left it on a table in the bedroom.

- I was also sure I'd seen it this morning when I woke up, but it wasn't there.

- Ah, maybe it was the little goblin who took it away?

- Hmm, and you stopped me from killing him.

- Don't you find that interesting? I don't know why, but that little goblin caught my eye. I hope one day to cross his path hahaha life is getting more and more interesting lately. I hope it stays that way for a while.

* The woman's name was Jeanne and the man's name was Jules. They were a couple of magical scientists wanted by several of the world's great states for offences against human morality and numerous immoral crimes involving attempted coups and genocide. Never forget their names. That concludes this chapter in style. On that note...