Je Suis Devenu un Chat

Bonjour, you may not know me yet. My name is Louis Alarie Bernard, but you may call me Louis. 

Non, it is not 'Lew Ess' you caca boudin. 

'Louis' 

Say it with me now… Lou- ah never mind, let us just get started on this story, my story. 

The story of the day I died and the world was robbed of my presence. A shame, who would do such a thing? 

See, I was just minding my own business after a hard day's work when I arrived home to the sight of a box. As suspect as it was, I was also curious. 

Who would leave me a gift without saying hello? Rude individuals I tell you, that's who. 

Anyways, I knew better than to open a mystérieux box like some American blockhead. So I just left it alone, but non… My luck was not with me that day. 

The second I walked passed le boîte, the thing blew up. Merde, I was so close to retiring early too.

Then I was in a new place, surrounded by such wonderful sights. There were many large breasts around me, I thought maybe I had reached Heaven. 

Unfortunately my luck abandonné me yet again, for I was in Heaven, but the women were not part my harem I thought I would get as a gift, non. These women were goddesses. Goddesses that were insulted when they caught me appreciating their well developed seins.

The one in charge of this group of prudes was named Eos, was the most vindictive of them all. Instead of rewarding me for risking my life for my country as a specialist, I was cursed. 

The goddess told me that in order to regain my freedom I must learn to respect women. 

Ha! She knows nothing… I am a worshiper of the female form. That is the highest form of respect one can give to the fairer sex non? 

Alas, she did not understand and I was cast out into the world without any further delay. As I fell back down to the earth I wondered where I had gone wrong. 

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"So now we are all caught up, and I am talking to my own reflection…" 

A sorrowful sigh escaped my mouth, it sounded foreign to my sensitive ears.

Why would it not?

I had woken up three hours ago wondering why the world around me was so big, and why I was so small. I was a respectable 77" tall now I hardly reached the top of this tall grass around me. 

It was when I saw my reflection in a nearby puddle of water that I understood why. 

Instead of my handsome face, the face of a tabby cat looked back at me with wide eyes. I jumped back in fear, I thought perhaps a large cat had snuck up on me but non. 

That cat was me, and I was that cat… but at least I was a cute cat.