Twilight Restless Minds

Chapter :9

My last period was gym and I trudged off to the locker rooms to meet up with the girls. I sent a silent sentiment of gratitude to the person who decided that Forks high school PE classes did not have assigned uniforms.

I cringed my way through the volleyball games that had already had set teams. I may have been a cheerleader once upon a time, but an athlete I was not. I kind of just stood there, avoiding the occasional wayward ball until the coach instructed me to "put some effort into it." I gave him some mock enthusiasm as I waved my arms in the air. Alice ducked when a rogue ball came flying our way and unfortunately, whacked me in the head.

Rosalie was on the girls' varsity volleyball team, so she played with the hardcore players across the gym, while Alice, Angela and I were stuck with the fools who couldn't care less.

I noticed that Edward and Jasper were playing on the team across the gym opposite Rosalie. Jasper nodded and both Alice and I waved back. I smiled, knowing that even though I sucked at sports, at least I had a nice view of something pretty to look at while I was ducking flying balls.

By the end of the day, I felt edgy. I had made it through the day unscathed for the most part, but I really felt like I needed to relax.

Jasper was leaning against his car, parked next to mine. I threw my bag in the back and approached him with trepidation. Swallowing back a gulp of nervousness, I smiled and took a deep breath.

"Hey Bella, you survived your first day?" It surprised me how much I liked this guy. Not in a romantic way, though he was definitely cute.

"Yeah, still alive, just a little tense. I was wondering," I said, leaning in, "if you knew anyone with… weed?"

A slight smirk covered his face. "You smoke?"

"Now and then… mostly when I'm stressed. Today was one of those days," I explained, just as Edward approached.

Jasper said, "It's open." Edward brushed past me without acknowledgement and sat in the passenger seat, shutting the door behind him.

"I actually have some on me. How much do you need?" He asked.

It began to drizzle lightly, so I zipped up my black jacket and put up my hood. "Just a joint, I guess." I shrugged, feeling like such a druggie dirt bag, but relieved nonetheless for the convenience of it all.

"Do you want some company or do you prefer to smoke alone?"

"Oh, um…company would be great," I responded, surprising myself how quickly and enthusiastically I answered.

Jasper smiled and said, "I'll meet you at your house in twenty. And lose Xanax." He tossed his head toward the school where Alice was skipping across the lot. I nodded and got into my car, just as Alice jumped in the passenger seat.

"Were you just talking to Jasper? What did he say? Isn't he great?" She was out of breath as she settled into the seat. I was pretty sure Alice was not a smoker, considering her mom being a nurse and the fact that Jasper asked that I "lose" her.

I declined to mention my conversation with Jasper, and simply said we were just talking about how my day was. I felt like crap really, because I knew that Jasper clearly felt indifferent towards Alice, and by the nickname he gave her, I got the distinct feeling she annoyed him. I also felt like a delinquent, and it wasn't that way for me at all. Even though it was a fun experience, the main purpose for me smoking was that it helped ease my anxiety. It sucked living like that, always tense and scared of an attack coming on.

Bree turned me on to it back home, and it was the only thing she did for me that didn't leave me begging for mercy. Not that my occasional pot smoking was any good for me, but like I said, it helped with my issues.

I dropped Alice off at the diner in town for her shift, and headed toward home. Jasper's car sat in front of my house idling. I parked and walked over to the driver's side window waiting for Jasper to let me know what the plan was. Jasper shut the engine and got out of his car while Edward got out of the passenger side and slammed the door.

"In the woods behind your house is an old fort." Jasper pointed. I snickered, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Charlie built me the swing set with the connected tree house when I was five. I held tea parties and played with dolls back there, while he fished in the river that was now a part of the Cullen's property. Back when I was five, the land didn't belong to anyone but the state wildlife preserve.

"That's not a fort. It's my Dream House," I said, as the three of us walked through the gate into my back yard.

"That explains the dolls." Edward finally spoke.

"Hope there was no sentimental attachment," Jasper added, apologetically. I shook my head, not entirely understanding what he meant. I could hear Edward snickering under his breath as we walked the long overgrown path that cut through the woods between our houses. The wet leaves sloshed noisily underneath our feet, soaking my beautiful boots.

I hadn't been back there in ages. The tree house was still pretty much the same, only the pretty little window boxes with the plastic tulips had been ripped off and there were scorched, naked Barbie dolls strewn about the ground. The two yellow swings and the chained tire swing were still intact. As a kid, I would spend countless hours swinging, the soothing motion eliciting the greatest of daydreams and stories that I would conjure up in my head. It occurred to me that even at seven years old I was looking to escape my real life in some way.

"What did you do to my Pretty Princess Barbie?" I demanded, picking up her royally charred plastic corpse off of the muddy ground. Her blonde hair had been singed to the scalp, leaving her bald. Edward laughed again, but this time it was a wholehearted belly laugh and I couldn't help but join him.

Jasper said, "Emmett went hog wild with his lighter one day. We didn't know the dolls actually belonged to anyone, so uh…sorry about that."

I shook my head and tossed poor Pyro Victim Barbie into the bushes, climbing up the ladder into the tree house behind Jasper. The three of us sat on the cold wood floor, while Edward pulled out a zip lock bag and a pack rolling papers.

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