Blackout

Xui Xiang***

Things had happened in such a short time, I had known Mei was into girls, I was right on that one, but not just into me. And she was already taken! Showing off in front of me and everyone else. Oh! What would I not have traded to be Hua Lan right now? 

It felt unbelievable, unbearable, i bucked my gown, ready to give a dramatic running scene, and I did give one, though not as I intended to, for as I bucked my gown, I didn't see the slippery pieces of materials that were lying on the floor, and with the speed I intended to use, it made me slip on one of them. I fell flat. 

The eruption of laughter and giggles and words I couldn't make out filled my ears. I stood up and noticed my mouth tasted funny, a liquid, blood. But I didn't turn back, didn't even get myself a little bit of space. And left, no longer running. 

I'm my room, I made sure I banged the door so hard, and sat, my back being supported by the door. I took my knees, cracking myself as the sobs erupted from my body. 

I cried uncontrollably. My life was a piece of trash, not even the full garbage truck, just a tiny piece of it. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and the only time I was noticed was for something embarrassing. My parents hated me and I hated me too! 

Each time I tried to stop, my brain would display a clear picture of Mei and her girlfriend tonguing each other or whatever that style was called. 

"NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME!!! I screamed. It was all too much for me to bear. I mean, what's so hard loving a 16-year-old girl? Why is it hard for me to find love? Fake or genuine, anyone! 

I went to the mirror to see how I looked, I felt ugly inside and out. I took the red lipstick my grandma gave me as a gift a few days before she passed. Desperation and frustration enveloping me, I rub it on my lips, but it still didn't make me prettier. I hastily cleaned it off, but it was a mere help because I just ended up smearing it on my cheeks, I looked more like a clown than ugly. 

"Grandma! You said I was pretty, you promised I'd find love, when? How? No one loves me! Ma and Pa, they…"

I saw a glow reflecting on the mirror. At first, I thought it was the tears in my ears, glistening with the light reflecting on it. But no! Something was glowing. I cleaned my eyes to make sure I was seeing correctly, but the light only glowed brighter. 

I turned to check if it was a reflection of something, and that was when I saw a hole in the wall. I was meant to be scared, at least an average of 16 would be scared, but I didn't even feel average, I was below it. 

If this was going to take me away from the surface of the earth, I might as well enter. 

I first poked my hands into it. It felt like space, nothing. Then as if I was sucked in, my whole body entered. It was indeed a room of nothingness. Black and void. Was I becoming God? 

"Let there be light!" I was a funny person indeed, how could I become God? 

But I heard the beeping of a system, and a voice spoke, the voice was familiar, Grandma! 

"My Xui Xui," it was indeed grandma.

"Grandma please take me with you, No one loves me here and I'm a failure!" I started crying all over, but no tears came out. It was like this world had no emotions. I was loving it already! 

"Let me talk!" The voice was firm yet soothing. It was my grandma.

"You have a chance to a second life. To be reborn. Are you willing to take it? You don't seem happy in this one." 

What was grandma talking about, second life, past life, it's all a make-believe thing. Was this even my grandma or some imposter?

"H…how do you mean? Second life?" Even my voice was beginning to sound like an imposter's.

"Just say the magic words, Yes, or No, and it'll be done. You have ten seconds to decide as this is an opportunity that not everyone gets." 

"Wait, but do I know what I get in this new life of mine? At least. For all I know it could be worse." Yes, I had a point. My life here was not so great, but who knows what this second life has installed for me. Horns, flying elephants, oh dear, fake or not I wasn't going to make a life-threatening decision like that.

"No, you don't, it's a surprise. But one thing is sure, you'd have a chance at love and you'd find it." 

"Love?"

"Yes, love, Now make the decision. The countdown begins now."

This had to be some sort of joke! 

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…"

"Yes! Yes!" I replied hastily, my heart racing. There was something about this countdown and I felt something bad might happen if I didn't say anything. 

But something did happen even after I had answered, a sudden white light pierced so hard I had to scream. 

And suddenly it felt like I was falling from the highest building ever, which happens to be Hua Lan's parents' house about 10 stories long. I kept falling and falling and screaming and screaming and then…

It landed on a soft cushion with a thud. I opened my eyes to see that I was surrounded by so many people. These were human faces, right? 

My brain felt so foggy, but I was able to recognize two people who stood, a confused look on their faces. Ma and Pa!

They came closer and a shaman sprinkled some liquids on my face, some landed on my lips. It was salty. 

"She's been brought back, she's been revived."

What was this white-bearded man talking about?