RaeJenBib

Sometimes you can't be who you want to be and sometimes you can't do what you want to do.

That is the daily life of our anti-heroine. She is over powered with innate and learned magics and abilities but she does not have them to use them. she has them because she was born with them and she learns quickly. 

for her it is about acquisition not utilization. She wants to have power to understand power but she doesn't want to serve and protect. 

but it is out of her hands because she is Rachel, the Milana of Trannisa realm. her purpose is to maintain a balance dictated by the realm.

she is there when she has to be and when she is not needed she is off learning new things. 

so what happens when she is suddenly needed all the time? will her habit of avoidance become a mask of doubt and insecurity. 

so will she be a flawed being and pass the torch or will she endure in self doubt and constant insecurity. 

or is there a third option that has been there all along and completely out of her control?

Swept

Rachel was on her knees retching. She had never felt this before. Not in her lifetime nor in the full lifetime of the Milana. She wanted to vomit and at the same time she did not. She felt joy swell up in her soul only to instantly wither and become bitter bile at the back of her throat. She saw beauty all around her and as it registered in her mind it became things vile and destructive inciting instant hate to well up inside her.

All the conflicts and changes in emotion were not just skin deep they were also soul and spirit deep. They were affecting her very state of being and shifting her state.

A state shift is nothing to someone as powerful as her but shifting states continually can cause a fundamental imbalance. This imbalance can start in the soul and the spirit and it can move to the foundation of a caster.

Emotion can sometimes kill