Why me?

*Warning! Signs of abuse ahead. If any of you encountered any type of abuse, please ask for help immediately.*

As a woman, of course I had to flaunt it to my classmates. Hah, they were jealous. Though, I didn't tell them it hurts. Big girls don't cry, okay?

A week after, we played dodgeball. I was the best kid so of course I was the last one left. I rolled, jumped, and all that just to dodge. At one point, my skirt ripped. How annoying! Good thing, teacher helped me.

After that, we were all left alone in the class because our teacher was called by someone. I found out, all the teachers were called to go somewhere. Anyway, it's our time to shine, we should know whose class is the noisiest.

As everyone were busy doing their own thing, John, a friend of mine asked me to show him the hello kitty underwear. I was embarrassed of course. He saw my favorite underwear! A real woman shouldn't be wearing those!

So, I told him no. Also, why should I show him that? He then held me in the arm and told me that he'd just take a peek. I was getting scared at this point. He's already 9, didn't his parents told him what men and women should and should not do?

In order to avoid him, I went to the restroom. I stayed there for a few minutes. When I got out, I saw him together with his other 2 friends. They were telling me to just show them. They've already seen it during the dodgeball match anyway, they say. They also said that if I'm really a big girl, then it's time to learn what adults do. I didn't answer, I wasn't contemplating, I just blanked out.

Anyway, nothing happened as our teacher was already looking for us, thankfully. After that incident, I don't know what happened but I was scared of them. I don't know how it started but it was as if, something snapped. I don't like guys. I don't want to be near them.

I told my parents that school was boring and I want to skip grades. The topics are always the same, only the numbers and names are different but everything is the same. I want to skip grades. They can't do that. We don't have that in our country. Or maybe we do, but it wasn't known in the countryside. I was rejected. I feel unsafe. I don't know why. I just don't feel safe.

So, I started getting late when going to school. From an hour before class to 10 minutes ago since the class started. I was scolded by the teacher but not so much because I am smart.

Nevertheless, she's not always in the class because she needs to eat and pee and poop. Thus, there were bullyings directed to me. A late comer and all that. I didn't mind, I'm still smarter anyway, I say. It shuts them all up, except for the captain's granddaughter, she calls me names. So I call her a chair pooper. She pooped on her chair when we were in grade 2. Ha! Now what? All the bullying then turns to her, briefly. Her grandfather is still the captain. So the bullying goes to a chubby classmate who started the bullying. I called her a pig when she called me a stick. But, her bullying was also brief, her aunt is a teacher at our school. In our small community, the captain and all his officials are at the top, next are the police and the teachers.

It always happens, but they can never truly bully me, I'm smarter than them. They always get compared to me. I always hear their own parents tell them to be like me.

As days go by, I noticed, I'm maturing more, but, why don't they? Why don't they get that they shouldn't force others to do what they don't want to do? Why are my friends always talking about Darna and Captain Barbel? Why are we not talking about the mixed and improper fractions that you don't understand? Or the Respiratory system? Why are we only talking about the friend who according to you, backstabbed you? Why aren't we talking about the group project that that I've already finished alone because no one is helping me? Why did I have to notice all these alone? Why did I have to mature faster than everyone else? Why me?