27 Jan 2025

Yeah... I know what you're thinking , that I'm writing after so long. But its just that so much is going on that I don't have time for writing, sorry for that. But I will try.

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So today we were sitting in classroom for our Physics practical and I was the only one who was sitting straight, while everyone else was slouching so Ren who was sitting while leaning against the wall was looking at me and I accidentally looked back at him. Although I still have residual feelings for him, maybe I don't like him anymore. It happened thrice. Then when we were submitting our projects he came there to take his back, while we (Shifu and I )were searching for ours, we took ours then while keeping them back he kept his while our hands brushed and honestly if it was 5 months before I would have gotten a mini heart attack. But I don't know why this is happening. Maybe because now I know that he has a crush on someone else. Okay yes I admit that I was or still am jealous but seriously why does he act and look at me like he has a crush on ME. Although Lisa and Shifu told me that that they noticed him so many times looking and staring but it was normal ? Like hell yeah you have a crush on someone and he's friends with your friends and they tell you that he looks at you but he has a chrush on someone else and he told that himself. Like wth?

Yeah complicated right? Like why not its your life ofcourse it has to be like that. Your parents love-dislike you ,you were bullied, abused by your parents ,the cousin that you loved the most ran from 'your' home, and now your ADHD progressed faster because of that , now you don't even know if feel something or if you can love someone and when you finally realize and admit that you have a crush he like you or not and has a crush on an intelligently dumb attention seeker bitch. And after all of this you find this out in the last recent two years of your life.Great . Congratulations you are finally crazy.

I sometimes think if I'm a psycho. Lets sleep for now since its 12:45 am of 28 Jan. So bye.

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Sorry if there are any mistake.