chapter 14

Chapter 14

With no concept of time, ronin lost the urge to leave even once she opened the room with a squeak, the thought of leaving tickled his nerves. Even as no one talked, somehow her calm presence amazed him; he envied her control.

He knew he couldn't stay, for his father would be waiting outside for him; he hated that fact. For his dad's strong stature seemed to cower when in the building, he had noticed his father's hunch when they had come in, and he imagined it would be the same when he came out.

Shifting his legs from beneath him, Ronin rose to his suddenly weak demeanor; she watched as he prepared to exit the room.

She didn't expect him to say anything; she honestly hoped he didn't.

Her eyes grew large as Ronin left the room, flicking the lights back up to a bright hue that uncovered the rest of the room that had been hidden, surrounding the woman's shocked body.

He knew he couldn't go on in the silence, for that was almost worse than the noise; their relationship would twist and turn like being pulled on a string he couldn't quite decide if he was holding or not.

His thoughts would grow loud, but only when he felt that way, like instead, the string was tied between the two; he knew he couldn't, wouldn't risk leaving his thoughts in the room with her. Fearing they'd hurt her was only one of his frets, for it was almost like leaving a part of himself, the part he hated but couldn't live without. Like an unknown companion, he only wants to utilize when no one else would listen, or when he can't say things out loud, he would say them to himself, and it would listen.

As if Ronin had created it, he wondered when it snapped, or when it would. He couldn't decide anymore, for it would be a horrid combination of his regrets, whether his words, actions, or memories; the loss would go on. But in the strangest moments, it would talk with him; it would listen.

Ronin left the building, pushing the suddenly heavy door that insulted him, meeting the wind's cold sting on his face and his father's stature that quickly confirmed his assumption.

Coming to his side, Ronin stood embarrassed; he hoped his father wouldn't ask him about it but rather drive him home without a word. His plan had quickly fled as his father pointed out the diner down the street, his voice almost hiding his excitement. Ronin wasn't hungry, yet he followed him, seeking anything to take his mind off the last hour he knew he'd never forget, like the streets he walked with his father revisiting every action he had committed along the familiar town, he feared he would run if his father wasn't with him standing as a form of protection he never noticed.

Only escaping the streets as they entered the rich-smelling store, a low, distant chatter enveloped the small space. Not many people were there, playing to Ronin's hopes.

The two sat down after his father ordered for them; the cold bench had made it through his large jeans, leaving his thighs in a cold, hard freeze.

One not even the hot dish placed in front of him could cure; Ronin met his father's glance. A small, awkward grin tried to comfort him; Ronin wanted to return it, but his mouth was filled with food he had realized he craved.

As the table grew quiet again, Ronin glued his eyes to the unfamiliar figure that reflected off the window; he couldn't recognize the stripped version of himself. Not even the pride that lay in his head was there; rather, a short buzzed sheet of hair mocked him.

His father soon caught Ronin's intense stare at himself in the window, his large hands whipped his greasy mouth as he swallowed

" Whatcha looking at Caillou?" His father said with a grin, shaping a small wrinkle on his cheek. Ronin turned, startled by his sudden words. He couldn't decide if he should be offended, so he scraped the wood beneath the table. "Oh shut up," Ronin smirked with a sly eye as he leaned back on the table, meeting his father closely. This was a new feeling of pride he had forgotten, a confidence he had forsaken.

His father's hand placed itself gently on Ronin's plain head a playful tease escaped his mouth before Ronin shook it off suddenly revealing a wide smile across his face, as they laughed "Not too long now before you'll be wearing this shit" Ronin grinned suddenly chuckling a high pitched excitement, as his father denied quickly pulling his had lower almost reaching his thick eyebrows.

His father tapped the table before getting up slowly, a wide grin still on his face as they exited the warm store. He glanced down at Ronin, who followed him closely.

The sky had dimmed into a dark ambiance, covering the town in an almost uneasy mood; it caught up to Ronin's unusual positivity. He could feel it creep up the leg of his pants, building an unwanted fear within Ronin; his palms began to sweat as he frantically glanced around the scene. He could feel his heart pound in his chest, and his breathing got heavy with his head, hunching at his large jacket.

Ronin's eyes widened as he felt a heavy arm lay around him, pulling him into a comforting lock; everything built up was superseded, leaving through one long sigh; he watched such things leave his mouth in a fog amidst the cold air. As his heart calmed, Ronin glanced up at him before; this was new and strange; an awkward yet needed moment began to play as Ronin leaned his cold head into the thick jacket that covered the hard chest of his father.

Ronin began to see the relationship he had lacked with his father, for even in the dark it lay as a small flashing light, an old and worn light.