chapter 32

Chapter 32

Fraser had awoken to the sound of robins voice, hitched in a mumble and sung in tone so low it scratched breaking between a higher pitch with certain words that fell out in a different sound, a different joint of letters that never came together.

He'd crept from his bed cracking the door open as he looked apon Ronin who leaned over the coffee table a book in one hand and a pen in the other, for his mind had been somewhere devided between the two, maybe split through the middle coming out in the sloppy writing the page covered with, hours, days, weeks, months, years, wrote apon the paper covering it almost completely in black.

He'd slid out the crack between the door walking into the room where Ronin eyes hit his wide.

He'd gripped notebook tensing as he came closer sitting slowly next to him with a calm face her had to put on.

"What are you doing up so late Ronin?" He'd said as he settled on the sofa leaning over like Ronin as he waited for an answer to control his tone by.

"Writing" Ronin responded blankly, clearing his throat before he did so.

"Ah, what are you writing about?" Growing intrigued Fraser pushed it further watching as he gripped the pen in his hand, digging it into the table as he started to talk.

"Nothing" he'd said growing defensive with his legs that hugged the leg of the table.

"What are you writing about Ronin" Frasers tone uilding slowly in a planned outcome he'd determined within the behavior he'd seen for so long from Ronin.

Finding enough air to speak Ronin had spat from his mouth as his words fell out "Bad things" to which Fraser continued to push as he asked further of ronin's bland answer.

"Just things I shouldn't have done, t-things I keep doing" with these words even his tone grew harder recognizing a hint of Fraser's intention.

"Can I see?" Fraser asked reaching his arm towards the book, etching it back as Ronin pulled away, denying it with a standing word.

"Cmon Ronin let me see" he insisted as he reached for the book again.

Ronins voice got higher as hed begun to pull the book towards his chest "No Fraser, stop it's bad I don't want you to read it.

And, and think of me weird"

Fraser stood quickly announcing his presence over Ronin as he proceeded to urge the book from him, until that scratch in the wall he'd built made its fateful sound. For Ronin had dug himself into the couch his voice higher as he tried to explain to Fraser. Each word turned off by his demand.

"You know what Ronin, what do you think that's gonna do for you" he'd begun to speak in a place of anger he'd hope would provoke him.

"What are you doing, just making it easier to remember what you did, rather than fixing it, or getting over it, now your gonna go back to that every time and remember and see, and then tell yourse-"

"Fine, fine. You want me to get rid of it, throw it away like it never happened, hide it from myself.

Low to my fucking self.

Ok then Fraser" he'd enfisized on his name as he gripped the book harder, tighter until ripping the page out. "Huh?, how's this Fraser, this better.

Is it helping me" he'd slammed the book apon the table ripping the pages he'd written, crumbling the ones he yelled, and sneering the ones he'd cried.

"How's this Fraser, look at me I'm getting over it right, can't you see, look at me I'm so much better!" It was then those same eyes had been coated in a glossy bubble that waited to break. For Ronin had ripped the pages started the book stuffing them his mouth with a grunt, for it was then the Bible broke and it seeped down his face soaking the paper that he'd begun to shove down it throat where it came from.

Throwing himself forward as his head hit Fraser's gut pushing him over the table as he fell over the other side.

"Like this Fraser, am I doing it, am I fucking doing it Fraser, aren't you proud of me I'm getting better. Don't you like my smile, like it never happened, just forget it all"

"Move on!" Ronin had cried as his pitch stung Fraser's ears as it bled from his throat, smelt of the vomit that had once held his past, for they drowned from the tears that washed his dirty face as he melted to the floor gripping the carpet with his fingers dragging them until they could hold his head, his mind.

Fraser crawled towards him taking the place of his hands as he lifted Ronin face, holding it towards his as his eyes met his own.

"That's how it's done, that's how it's fucking done Ronin. Congratulations how does it feel" Fraser's voice had recovered a new tone, one to match his smile that grew wide.

Ronin could only copy it, doubling the size, "it feels good' he sniffles before wrapping his shaking arms around Fraser as he pulled Ronin into a comforting hug. One Ronin would learn to copy, he would learn to provide it.

For next time.