chapter 35

Chapter 35

Ronin had driven the day on Frasers advise, it was simple, in fact it was never complicated. At least he has tried to convince himself of that in-between the classes he different classrooms that threatened to change his mind.

It was Mr Owens classroom that he had left his facade decay, the circle of chairs created a field he had never walked through.

Filled with honesty he had been working on, improving, and yet still lied to himself when he'd begun to speak out loud, trying to suck the words back as soon as they had come out, only stopped by Mr Owens slow, perfect acception of it all. Perfect calm demeanor.

The same demeanor had sat with him after class, bending down next to his chair their eyes managed to lock as the conversation built itself.

"How are you doing Ronin?" He asked, watching as Ronin slipped a small smile with his smooth response painted with the bucket of honesty he promised his father they would empty by the end of the day.

"You alot like Mrs camble" Ronin said pulling on the drawstrings of his sweater, tucked underneath Frasers jacket that has kept him warm.

"Oh, and who is Mrs cambel, and why do I remind you of her?"Mr Owens set ronin's answer up perfectly within a look and a settlement on the floor next to his chair.

"Well, well you act like her, calm and all that" Ronin stuttered into a sentence his teeth made as they began to prepare for one of his thoughts to come to word.

"Tell me more about Mrs camble" he emphasized, "what's she like?" A pop of his eyebrow has rushed Ronin to answer as he'd but the toungue that circled for a short enough answer.

"She's really tall, and she has long brown hair kept up in one of those hair things. She's good, I like her smile. It makes me feel better"

Ronins eyes had fled to the window as he said so, his face growing flush with sense of embarrassment he wasn't able to understand.

"Mrs camble sounds like a wonderful woman, especially that smile, it must be comforting on those hard days" he playfully gritted his teeth as he dragged on the last two words.

To which Ronin nodded, a smile on his face that hid, a smile on his face that grew warm with the very thought.

"She really does sound like a wonderful woman, you know if you'd be ok with I bet wren would like to meet her too, see that smile, would you wanna do something like that Ronin?" He'd asked calmly observing his reaction that came quickly in a high pitched attempt at explanation.

"not, not next week. Because I just wanna talk to Mrs camble, but maybe after that, yeah after that I think wren could come, do you think wren could come Mr Owen?" His pupils danced across the room before landing on him as he spoke.

"Why of course, she's wanted to meet Mrs camble for a while now. She's also wanted to see you Ronin, it's been a long time and I think she misses you" Mr Owens leaned into Ronin chair looking up at him with a wide smile.

"Are you sure she wants to see me, last time I messed up, I messed it up real bad. And I hurt her" he said quietly, breathy through the mouth he barely opened.

"You know Ronin wren would never and Is never gonna hold a something you did in a judgement or grudge, ever. She can't Ronin, wren doesn't think like that, especially not of you" the room grew silent after his words that had only begun to be processed by Ronin, only begun to repeat, reorder and dissected by him. By his mind.

"Is that why you act for her, not just acting calm but, acting so she will trust you. Mr Owens please don't act for wren, don't lie to her mr. Please don't do that"

As before he could respond to Ronins observation the process had finished as he'd cut him off.

"You act.

You act for all of them don't you, you act for me" as it came to words his mind had recharged for the next one, for this process would repeat in a pattern he would have to follow, as it was when he left them in there that they would get louder, they would try to get out other ways.

"Ronin, your very observant. And you know what, your right. I am acting for them, but sometimes people need someone who they know won't change, someone they know will be the same as the day before, and the day before that day. A consistent trust that that one thing won't change, some people need that." he glanced up at Ronin who sat on the words, adjusting in his seat as if he wanted another angle, or as if he'd just seek one.

"But obviously I'm not acting very well if you can see straight through it, right?" His arms rested on him knees as he said so, waiting on Ronins response, one that would facinate him, differently than the others.

"Do you think maybe, you could try not to act for me.

Don't pretend with me like all of them, just don't act" Ronin said Itching the side of his head looking down at the man as he stood from his chair.

Standing over me Owens as he left the circle, leaving his words there, and taking the new perspective the man had given him, the new lense.

Ronin had left the room on those words, he'd left mr owens to think about it, as much as Ronin did to say it than he will to understand it.